Anna scoffs humoredly.
“No need to fight, kids. There’s plenty of me to go around.” I shoot them a toothy smile.
“Oh, are we talking about Vicky’s harem again?” Kayla’s voice comes from somewhere behind me. I thought I was the first in. If Kayla is here, then . . . I stiffen, repeating Kayla’s words in my head. It leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. My heart is beating a little faster as I turn around. I glance at Kayla, and my eyes jump to scan the room. Noticing it’s just the four of us, I release the breath I’m holding.
After how we left things, the last thing I need is to greet Ricky by mentioning, “my guys.”
It’s comical, really. “My guys” sort of ceased to exist over a week ago, maybe even before then—and my friends, including my sister, are none the wiser.
With Felipo’s transition from “lover” to a friend and me putting the kibosh on the whole Jack Howard thing before it even started, my trio turned into a pathetic solo. Jack and I met for breakfast a few days ago, and even before deciding between medium or dark roast, I realized that I couldn’t go through with it; I just couldn’t. I wasn’t sure why and blamed it on my mood and that special time of the month.
And last but not least, James, who I haven’t seen for months. So yeah, I’m flying solo these days. The question is, do I start a new recruiting campaign? Or maybe the bigger question is, do I really want to take on new, promising candidates to apply for the vacancies?
“Vicky’s harem is on a hiatus. I gave the guys some time off due to exceedingly great performance,” I say, sticking to my usual spiel. I hope that the topic won’t come up again when the rest of the guests are present. A thought jumps into my mind, putting a bit of a damper on my mood. If Kayla is already here, by herself, could it be that her plus-one won’t join us? Realizing that he might not be here, after all, I become aware of just how much I want to see him.
The thing with Ricky, he continually makes me long for something new and different. He confuses me, causing many internal battles between what I know is right for me and what I feel.
“Okay, that’s my cue to leave,” Liam says, yanking me out of my moment. He wraps his arms around Anna’s waist again. “I won’t be long.” He kisses her and heads out.
“Where is he off to?” Kayla asks.
I shrug, heading to deposit the cake in the kitchen.
“Hospital, he should be back for dinner soon.” I hear my sister’s voice as the two follow my steps. “Or not,” she says on a sigh.
Glancing at the dining room, I smile at my sister. “I love what you did with it, beautiful color palette.” I admire the long table, already set up for dinner in earthy hues and touches of blue. I walk around the living room, noticing the last decorative touches to Liam and Anna’s new ranch-style home. The flowing fabrics, many plants, and the magical sense of coziness tell me my mom added her signature touches. Our mom is a gifted interior designer with a penchant for Hygge.
She helped style my place too, but in mine, she didn’t have a free hand. My home is very different from Anna’s. While hers instills a sense of homeyness, mine is clean-cut and minimalistic. Better not dig into this one. I can just guess where my preference for detachment chic comes from—not something I’m too inclined to entertain. But lately, thoughts I managed to bury deep under resurface, bringing along with them frustration and some deep-rooted pain. I’m not my sister. I came to terms with whatever is written in my flawed stars a long time ago.
“Where do I drop this off?” Kayla asks Anna, gesturing to her overnight bag.
“In the TV room downstairs. I thought you guys could sleep there,” Anna says. When Kayla leaves the room, she turns to me. “What’s going on with you?”
I shrug. “Nothing, why?”
“You seem a bit distant. We haven’t really talked since Thanksgiving at mom’s, and even then—Vic, I don’t know what’s going on, but something is going on.”
No point in shrugging her off, she knows me too well, and she’ll never let it go. “Bean, all’s good. Just some thoughts about the future, and—” I sigh.
Anna’s eyes take on a concerned quality. She lowers her voice. “Vic, maybe you should have it checked again. Maybe talk to Liam. I don’t know, maybe—”
“Anna, why are you bringing that up now? It has nothing to do with that.” I give her a hard stare. “Don’t you think I’ve already had enough disappointments to last a lifetime?” I say. “Let’s leave good enough alone.”
“No, good enough isn’t enough when it comes to people you love. You want the best for them.” When my face crumples with the sentiment, she pleads in a soft voice, “Vic.”
“It’s not that, okay?” I bristle. Only it is. Kind of. The things I don’t want to think about, and much more. “Can you give it a rest already? You and Mom, geez. I thought we agreed never to discuss it again.”
She looks a bit disappointed and even more concerned. I feel a bit sorry for being harsh with her. I know she means well, always.
“Bean, it’s not that, okay? Just things at work and a conversation I had with Felipo that made me see things a little different, and . . . things changing.” I take a different tone, opting to ease the tension. I’m saved from further interrogation by the doorbell buzzing from the front door.
Anna glances at me, steps over to hug me, and whispers, “Whatever it is, I’m here when you’re ready to talk. I love you.” She sends me a cheeky grin and adds, “You wiener.” Even though she is trying to make me laugh, my throat still squeezes a little.
Before following Anna to the door, I take a moment to pull myself together, vowing to stop being a depressing sap and enjoy the time with my friends to the fullest. In other words, getting my shit together and get back to being me.
By the time I reach the foyer, Kayla joins, and we all welcome Pandora and Danny. Panda marches in, exuding severe weather warnings. I trade a questioning look with my sister and Kayla. Danny follows, looking uncomfortable, sending us an apologetic smile. In the midst of the awkward moment, the sound of a motorcycle roar reaches us from outside. A sound that kicks my heart to my throat.
Pandora eyes us, and her troubled features light up with a smile. She hugs each of us warmly, and when it’s my turn, she squeezes me into an embrace just as Ricky enters through the half-open door. As if our eyes are magnets, he immediately looks at me, but his emotions are hidden, and he quickly looks away, throwing a collective, “Hey,” to the room and nodding at Danny, who’s closest to him.
There’s a heavily weird vibe in the air, or maybe it’s just me.
“He shouldn’t even be here,” Panda says, throwing a thumb Danny’s way.
So it’s not just me. Everyone’s attention is on Panda now. It looks like no one knows whether to laugh or . . . hide.
She turns to Danny, thunder in her eyes. “No, really.” She shakes her head. “I don’t understand why you’re here, Danny?”
Uh-oh, she called him by his real name; someone’s in seriously deep trouble. Anna, Kayla, and my eyes widen in unison. We trade a look that translates into “what has he done?”
“Baby,” he mumbles, seeming utterly uncomfortable. “Can we talk, just the two of us?”
Instead of answering her boyfriend, Panda looks at Anna. “Speaking of sleeping with others, what are the sleeping arrangements tonight?”
Our collective mouths drop.
Panda pins me with a look. “I’m sleeping with Vicky,” she declares, prompting Ricky to eye me again.
“Pandora,” Danny croaks, a mortified look on his face.
Panda, in return, looks anywhere but at her pleading significant other.
I let out a lingered exhale. “Alright then.” I take control of the situation, wearing my boss-lady hat. “Why don’t we all get in, put everything in the kitchen, and open a bottle of wine? It looks like everyone needs a little booze in their system, and the sooner, the better.” I place my hand on Panda’s lower back, encouraging her to follow me inside.
I’m not sure what went down between Panda and Danny, but he looks devastated, and she looks beyond pissed. What I do know is that if the phrase “sleeping with others” did happen, Danny better run for cover because whatever Panda planned to do to him is child’s play compared to what I will do to him.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Ricky talking to Danny. Both follow us with dishes in their hands.
In the kitchen, Anna corners Panda, trying to find out what’s going on.
“I’m here to have fun with my friends; I don’t want to talk about backstabbing men.” She says the last part loud enough for the neighbors two houses over to hear. She pins Anna with a stare. “Hand over the wine, Chicken, and nobody gets hurt.”
Panda intercepts me as I’m about to take hold of the nearest bottle of wine and heads to the living room with the bottle under one arm. Anna and Kayla follow her tentatively, exchanging exasperated looks.
Too bad Dr. Liam isn’t here yet, because I prophesy a certain park ranger severely injured.
Alone in the kitchen, I take a deep breath, pouring myself a glass, thinking, the way this day started, this evening has the potential to turn into one hell of a “family” legend.
“Hey.”
I turn around to Ricky’s voice. “Hi.” My eyes run over him, tension building in me at light speed.
For a stretched moment, we stare at each other in silence until he breaks it with, “We need to talk, you and I.” I nod to my glass, and he adds, “Later, alone.”
“I’m glad you’re in one piece,” I say.
He scratches his scar, drawing my eyes to his.
My entire body hums with anticipation of what he’ll do next. What I want him to do leaves me utterly vulnerable. I want him to wrap his damn arms around me. I want the strength and the warmth and his scent. I want that badly. It’s not something I have ever wanted from anyone before, especially not a man.
Opting for casual, I say, “How did it go with Tyler Lee? I can’t wait to hear the song.”
His eyes run back and forth between mine. “It was good,” he says dismissively. He frowns, still gazing at me, and then he slowly leans in a little. My soul nearly jumps out of my throat, thinking he’s about to kiss me. Instead, he grabs a few glasses from the counter beside me. With the glasses in his hands, he gives me another profound look and turns around, heading to join the others.
This guy is a hazard to my well-being. Each time he’s near, I end up out of my element. It’s as if he dismantles my armor by his mere presence. This needs to stop.
I stay behind for a little while, drinking wine and summoning my badassery before joining the rest of the group.
“So this is how it works,” my sister says to the group scattered around the hugest L-shaped sofa. And by scattered, I mean Pandora in one corner while Danny is in the other. Kayla and Ricky near Danny, Panda is by my side, and Anna and Liam, who joined us a few minutes ago, are in the middle. “To our newcomers.” She smiles, referring to Danny, Ricky, Kayla, and Liam. “We’ll have dinner, then we’ll all change into PJs, have dessert by the fire, and play board games.” Anna turns to me. “Take it away, sis.”
I hold a wineglass in my hand, resuming my sister’s intro to tonight. “Every year, one of us has to come up with a new tradition. For example, the PJs part was introduced by Panda during our first year celebrating together. The odd potluck was devised by yours truly.” I give a little bow, and my friends smile in return, including the friend whose smile makes me think unholy things. “As you know, we all stay overnight, and tonight’s new tradition is brought to you by Anna—Sis?”
Anna grins. “So, we told everyone to bring a book they read and asked to highlight their favorite parts and leave small notes throughout the book. Just as important, bring your favorite chocolate!” Anna leans into Liam’s arm, which is thrown around her shoulder. “So the truth is I’m not that creative. I know it’s Hensgiving, but I sort of borrowed an Icelandic Christmas tradition called Jolabokaflod, which means the Christmas book flood!”
“You can always trust Anna to take you on the wildest of rides,” Pandora says, grinning at my sister.
“And I thought nonconformism, liberalism, and wild rides belonged to the other sister,” Kayla adds her two very funny cents.
I glance at Ricky, noticing his lack of amusement and how his jaw stones over.
“Back to our wild night,” Anna says with a grin. “So this Icelandic thing, we draw names and exchange books and chocolates, you should go to bed with the book and chocolate!” Liam chuckles by Anna’s side as if he finds her enthusiasm the sweetest thing on earth.
“Oh wow, are we exempt from brushing our teeth too? ‘Tis really a wild night!” I say with over-excitement, and a throw pillow flies my way in response. I chuckle at Anna, and she rolls her eyes, amused.
A few wineglasses later, we’re all sitting around the table, consuming more wine and munching on the assortment of unrelated food. There are Liam’s famous tacos, Panda’s artichoke pasta dish, Danny’s campfire grilled loaded baked potatoes, Anna’s couscous and herbs salad, and Ricky’s lobster mac and cheese. Kayla’s and my contribution are desserts, which will be consumed later by the fire because you don’t mess with tradition.
Dinner is a messy, boozy ordeal, with a lot of laughter and an awkward undercurrent vibe brought on by Pandora and Danny. They don’t say a word to each other, but his begging looks and her deliberate avoidance aren’t lost on any of us.
“Okay then,” Anna says. “So before we put on our jammies and go play, we should say what we’re thankful for. I’ll go first.” She gives the table a cursory look and smiles. “I’m thankful for the new people around the table this year and for keeping our tradition for the eighth year now, and for my friends for being the best group of spectacular chickens a girl can ask for.” We all raise our glasses at her.
Anna turns to look at Liam by her side, cueing him to follow. Liam raises a glass. “I’m grateful for having you all for dinner in our home, for being a part of this group, and mostly for Little Shit who brought Anna into my life.” We all laugh; Anna and Liam met through an accidental email intended for Liam’s friend, Benjamin, aka Little Shit that landed in Anna’s inbox, and the rest is history.
I go next. I want to say that I’m grateful for not falling apart because of Ricky’s proximity. Instead, I raise my half-empty glass and declare, “I’m thankful for good food, good friends, and fabulous wine. To the things that give meaning to life!”
My friends respond with a unified, “Hear! Hear!”
Danny should go next, but since he looks like he has nothing to be grateful for and avoids everyone’s eyes, Ricky spares him by taking his turn. Ricky doesn’t raise his glass. He raises his eyes . . . to lock with mine. His expression is a mix of a frown and an easy smile, the kind that’s more agitated than pleased.
“I’m thankful for wonders happening by chance and for some great people in my life and mostly”—he licks his lips, eyes zeroed in on mine—“for irrational risks worth taking and for epic battles that are worth fighting in order to gain what you really want.”
With his eyes still on me, he throws back his drink. I swallow hard.
“I should go next.” Panda breaks the moment too tipsily loud. With everyone’s eyes on her, she turns to Danny, and I brace myself for how things will play next. Looks like I’m not the only one.
“Oh, Danny, we skipped your turn.” When he twists in his seat to return her gaze, she says, “Don’t you want to tell everyone how grateful you are for the ex-girlfriend who still loves you and wants you back?”
It’s the first time we get to see easygoing, laid-back Danny ticked off. “Dammit, Pandora. Lay off it, already!”
No one makes a sound. Pandora narrows her eyes at him, clearly about to explode.
“Please, let’s go talk, okay? In private?” he
begs, a tone softer.
Like a riveting tennis match, we all turn to Panda, who rapidly returns the serve with, “You can say whatever you have to say in front of my friends, unlike you . . . ” Her tone rises. “I’ve got nothing to hide!”
The rest of us move in our chairs uncomfortably as the scene develops.
“Panda,” my sister, the perpetual peacemaker, tries.
Panda is too riled up to hear her.
Danny, who seems to be livid now, asks in a clipped voice, “Why are you doing this?” His stare tapers at his girlfriend. “Was it too good between us? Did it scare you?” he asks, and I can feel the weight of Ricky’s eyes on me. When I slowly lift mine to return his gaze, he cocks his head, narrowing his stare at me, wordlessly challenging me.
Danny resumes, “So good that you had to cling to something preposterous just to prove a point?”
“You were talking to her for months!” Panda fires back. “Behind my back!”
“I told you a million times already.” Danny’s voice matches Panda’s accusatory tone. “We were just talking. She’s an old friend.” He closes his eyes, taking a breath, clearly trying to control himself. “When she told me she wanted me back, I told her that I love you. You know that!”
“That’s what you say.” She turns to him, eyes ablaze. “I don’t know why you’re even here. I told you not to come. Go hang out with Magen and her friends. She wants you. I don’t.” She resumes drinking her wine calmly, clearly faking it.
“Can we please take it somewhere else?” Danny tries again.
“Which part of no wasn’t clear?” Panda returns.
We all exchange helpless looks.
“Dammit.” Danny breathes and reaches for his back pocket. We all watch him curiously, including my stubborn friend. He pulls a few plastic cards from his wallet in jerky motions. Two fly to the middle table in the process, and one hits poor Liam near his eye. Danny, oblivious to the injury he caused, glances at the one in his hand, an ID card. “I didn’t intend to do it in front of everyone.” He glances at us, murmuring, “No offense.”
by Chance : Poison & Wine, book 2 Page 9
