“I told you, I’m figuring it out.”
“You’re right, I’m sorry.” Teren took my hand and squeezed it. “I shouldn’t freak out like that. But I just worry about you. After Eric…”
“Can we not bring up Eric every five fucking minutes please?”
Teren was just trying to help, but he was stabbing the kitchen knife deeper into my open wound. “I don’t need to be reminded of my questionable choices any more than necessary, thank you very much.”
Teren nodded, saying nothing. Everyone knew how wonderfully Eric’s and my relationship began, and how spectacularly it had ended up crashing and burning.
“On a brighter note,” Teren said, “Mom and Dad snuck by ‘Eighteen’ the other day, and said it was packed. Congrats.”
I grinned, and not just for the congratulations.
As awful as it was to admit, I was glad my parents hadn’t stopped in. As well-meaning as they were, Mom and Dad often forgot that I was no longer their little girl with ample time to spare, and that I had to focus on my job. On one of their little stop-ins in the past, they’d hung around and distracted me so persistently that I’d had to give them a talk about it after. Although they meant well.
“I’ve been busting my ass,” I admitted. “Online, I had Groupons and coupons and ads galore. I even put up flyers around downtown.”
Teren chortled. “Remember that pet business we set up when we were kids: ‘Teren and Naomi’s Pet Sitting Service’?”
I twirled a fry in my ketchup, smiling reminiscently. “How could I forget? We got so many bookings after a week, that when Mom and Dad found the snake, two kittens, a dog, and four rabbits hidden in the basement they grounded us for a month.”
“Whatever.” Teren slurped up the last of his chocolate shake. “It was still worth it. I’m still friends with the owner of those bunnies.”
“You mean Randy,” I said with an eyebrow wiggle.
“In fact, I do.”
While discussing my many romantic exploits and failures was fair game, as far as Teren was concerned, he wasn’t so eager to discuss his own romantic mishaps.
Although the talk of pets had got me thinking on another track. Earlier today, on the way to work, passing by a pet store, I’d seen the most adorable booties. And while weather in LA typically didn’t get super cold, they were a nice luxury to have for the rainy days. I didn’t know if Walter had any, or even if it would be weird, me buying him some, but….
“You’re thinking about him, aren’t you?” Teren said, interrupting my thoughts.
“Don’t you have a strawberry milkshake to start on?” I asked pointedly to the second shake he had ordered.
At this, Teren took both my hands. “Naomi, as your wise-beyond-his-years younger brother, it is my solemn duty to inform you that you need to be smart about this Xander business.”
“I am being smart.” I let out an exasperated huff. “Okay, so maybe I’m being a little stupid , but I’m trying my best here.”
As Teren released me and started slurping down his milkshake, I reached for mine, before realizing that I’d already drank it all in a stressed out rampage. “Maybe I should just tell Mom and Dad about the whole thing.”
Teren practically choked on his latest milkshake swallow. Clearing his throat with difficulty, he managed to wheeze out, “I wouldn’t recommend that.”
“Why not?”
He shook his head. “They’re in a bad mood as it is. The other day at the bazaar they practically blackmailed me into talking to Angela. And wondering out loud what was wrong me with me.” The color drained from his face, although he managed a weak smile. “Ever since the topic of you and Xander came up, they haven’t mentioned it. It took all their attention away from me. It’s been kind of nice.”
My expression softened as I reached over to squeeze Teren’s hand. “You’re going to have to tell them eventually.”
Teren’s gaze sagged. “I know.”
He flashed another one of those heartbreaking smiles. “I’d just prefer to put off being banished from the family for as long as possible.”
“You know they wouldn’t do that,” I said, although I wasn’t so sure.
Finishing his milkshake, Teren extended his hand up high. “Where is our waitress when you need her?”
She was, as it turned out, gone. We had to wait a good fifteen minutes before we realized that no one was coming. So, taking matters into my own hands, I got up and talked to one of the other servers.
Before we knew it, we were getting our bill and on our way out. Although, on the short trip toward the door, I still managed to drop something.
“Careful now,” a deep voice said.
I was startled to find myself face to face with a gorgeous Ashton Kutcher lookalike smiling down at me, holding my change purse.
“Thanks,” I said.
“No problem,” he said. “I’m Andy.” His eyes widened bit, as if he realized how incongruous him randomly introducing himself was. “Sorry. You’re trying to leave and I’m… anyway. Good to meet you.”
He paused, and I turned away with another super-awkward, “Thanks.”
Once we were outside, Teren spun to fix me with an incredulous gaze as he flung his scarf over his shoulder. “What the hell was that?”
“What?” I said.
“That guy was hitting on you.”
“He was not,” I sighed. “Even if he were, it’s not like I can go for him. There’s the whole Xander thing…”
I trailed off, seeing it written all over my brother’s face before he said it.
Shaking his head, he said, “Seriously Naomi, you really need to get this figured out.”
All the way home, as we drove our separate ways, I couldn’t shake the way the hairs on my neck were still standing up straight. Teren was right. As much as I hated to admit it, he was completely right. This whole thing was Xander was messing with my head. But what could I do about it? Cut him off, freeze him out? Hopefully, I’d figure it out soon.
That night, when my phone rang, I couldn’t stop myself from bounding up in excitement. And from feeling a ripple of annoyance at the disappointing realization that it was just Teren: I’m at the door.
“Don’t be mad.”
At the door, was Teren, along with our two friends Melanie and Jessica.
“Mad?” I asked. “Why would I be mad?”
“Because you hate surprises,” Teren said automatically. “Remember when you were six and we hired a dressed-up panda and you….”
“Cried,” I said, “I know. You and Mom have told the story about fifty times by now.”
Melanie and Jessica had been watching our exchange with amused smiles.
“I can’t believe you two are here!” I told them.
“It’s good to see you,” Melanie hooked her arm through mine. “Sorry I’ve been crazy busy with all the baby stuff these past few months.”
“Really,” I told her, “It’s fine. Babies take a lot of work.”
“You have no idea,” she said dryly. She let out a sigh. “So do husbands, for that matter. Charlie insisted we join this weightlifting class together, and between that and Marjorie, I barely have time to myself.”
“Anyway, Teren planned a girl’s night,” Jessica said.
“But if you’re not up for it, we can totally call it off,” Melanie said. “Just play some board games.”
“Board games?” I sputtered. “What are we, sixty?”
Everyone laughed.
“Just give me a few minutes to get changed and do something with this hair and I’ll be ready to go.”
I turned and flashed a grateful smile at my brother. He always seemed to know what I needed before I did.
12
Xander
Trying to read over case notes in my office was no use. Naomi invaded my thoughts like an unwanted mosquito. I couldn’t figure out why she was so pissed last night. Everything was going beautifully... or as beautifully as could be expected as far a
s my family was concerned. Apparently, there were some murmurings about whoever they’d brought to set me up with this time, but the verdict on Naomi had been unanimous. My family had loved her.
I shoved the paperwork away so it slid to the end of my desk, tipping over the edge precariously. Not unlike the situation with Naomi now, I reflected dryly. Why couldn’t she just be like how she was before, the morning after we…
I frowned. Nope. Not going there.
I rifled through the drawer beside me absentmindedly – stapler, paper clips, tape, some receipt from somewhere – but it was no use. My mind was back at that night that probably shouldn’t have happened, recalling every touch, smell, sound.
For fuck’s sake, I was getting a goddamn erection just thinking about her.
A buzzing from my phone cut through my attention.
You comin’ out tonight? my friend Carlos asked.
I eyed his message.
I swiveled on my chair, got up and went over to the blinds on my window, which I drew. Outside it was a perfectly fine sunny day. No point in wasting it at home, trying not to think of all this Naomi bullshit.
Hopkins tonight I texted Carlos back.
I smiled and sent it. Yes, a night out, a distraction, was exactly what I needed.
--
Hopkins’ all-wood interior was packed, as usual. As in, almost body to body people around the bar.
“Aren’t they supposed to have some kind of max capacity rule?” I yelled to my other friend Anthony over the blaring music.
“Don’t be a lawyer tonight, Xander,” he yelled back with a good-humored smile.
I couldn’t help but smile back. He was right. I needed to chill the fuck out. “There you two fools are,” Carlos said, shouldering his way through the crowd.
Like me and Anthony, he was pretty built. Back when my work schedule had been laxer, the three of us used to work out together at the gym, share tips, encourage each other and scoff when we know one of us wasn’t giving it his all. We’d been friends since high school, so unfortunately for me, the boys sometimes knew me better than most.
As Anthony and Carlos chatted up some girls around us, even with my head above the crowd, I couldn’t stop feeling so pressed in and annoyed.
“You okay?” Carlos asked.
I shrugged.
“Work?” he tried.
I shook my head. “Nah man, nothing like that. Just feeling a little wound up these days is all. My family’s in town.”
Giving me a knowing nod of his head, he clapped me on the shoulder before gesturing out into the crowd. “Good thing there’s about fifty ways to make you feel better tonight.”
I tried to smile. Carlos was right. It wasn’t like Naomi was the only attractive girl in the universe. Already on a quick glance into our surroundings I could see some exotic looking beauty with dark promising eyes, and a tall redhead who looked like she could’ve been a model. Although the ones who interested me the most were a group of blondes who were all eyes my way. But I still wanted that drink.
It took another five minutes to finally get my rum and Coke, and by then, all the girls I’d spotted were gone.
As we made our way back into the crowd, Anthony nudged me. “You pussying out?”
He and Carlos had already talked to a handful of girls by now, while I’d just sipped at my drink sorely.
“Screw off,” I said.
They cracked up as if I’d said the funniest jokes they’d heard on Conan O’Brien. They were right too. What was my problem?
No matter what kind of stress I’d had -- woman, work, family-- hooking up always took my mind off it. Why not this time?
But I knew why. Even though we had agreed it was just an arrangement to fool our parents’ into leaving us alone, I couldn’t stomach the thought of being with anyone but Naomi.
I sighed to myself in irritation as I looked around the room at all of the missed opportunities writhing on the dance floor.
Then, my eyes zeroed in on one girl in particular. One girl with long blonde hair, curvy hips, and a smile that already had my dick hard. I shook my head to clear the vision. I had to be seeing things. But as I focused again, I knew that I wasn’t. There, in all her arm waving, hip swaying glory, was my wife.
13
Naomi
“What the hell Xander?” I found myself yelling as he appeared at my side out of nowhere, effectively scaring the shit out of me.
“Hello to you too,” he said, scowling. “Didn’t expect to see you here.”
I forced my gaze away from the sight of his bicep bursting out of the straight cut of his T-shirt. Had I only ever seen Xander in long-sleeved shirts before? Why did it even matter anyway?
I was here to forget him, not to revel in his all-consuming hotness.
“What are you doing here anyway?” I asked.
“Just wanted to let loose a little,” he said. “You?”
Luckily, we were near a railing, so I used it to steady myself. How many drinks had I had anyway? It was Teren’s fault. Tonight, and the other night, I decided. He could hold his liquor better than me, not to mention that he liked nothing more than to spend his week’s paycheck on shots.
I shook my head again. No, that wasn’t right. It was my fault. And it was my fault now if I made a complete idiot of myself.
“I’m sorry,” I said, though I wasn’t quite sure what I was apologizing for.
“What?” Xander leaned in, yelling over the music. Now my face was practically pressed against his. All he’d have to do, was lean and a little closer, open his lips and….
“Want to dance?” he asked.
No, my good sense screamed.
But my body answered for me. Shaking my hips, we began to dance. Ahead of me, Teren was out of sight, probably flirting with a hot bartender, while Melanie and Jessica were shooting me uncertain looks. I give them a thumbs-up sign. Luckily, they didn’t know that my current issue, as Teren and I had vaguely referred to Xander as during our pre-drink, was here in the flesh. So, I was safe, for now at least.
If safe was grinding against the last guy I shouldn’t have been even speaking to.
But with Sean Paul’s Temperature booming through the room and the feel of Xander pressed behind me, rigid and steady, I couldn’t quite get the memo to my limbs that it was time to get the hell out of here.
Beat after frenetic beat, we danced, each one bringing our bodies closer together, until Xander’s hand snaked around to my stomach.
I broke free.
No way was I going down that road again. Today, I had come to the very adult decision, that being with him was a bad idea. My nerves couldn’t handle this again.
This was just an arrangement.
Striding through the crowd as I left, weaving my way past the almost wall-to-wall throng of people felt invigorating. I could text Teren and the others as soon as I got in a cab, headed home. Right now, the important thing was losing Xander.
One step out in the fresh air, one look back to see no one following me, and I actually thought I’d done it.
I stepped out to the curb, and then someone grabbed my shoulder.
“Naomi.”
“Can’t you just leave me alone?” I asked, hating the whiny quality I heard in my voice.
“No, I can’t just leave you alone,” Xander snapped. His grip on my shoulder tightened. “Not until you tell me what’s wrong.”
I spun around, intending to just burst out with whole ugly load of it, until I saw that there were several people milling about, eyeing us curiously. No way did I want to be a public spectacle, even if I was drunk.
Storming over to a nearby alleyway, I lowered my voice and said, “What’s wrong? What’s right, should be the question. Everything is fucked up. This whole arrangement of yours is causing me more stress than it’s worth. And I don’t want a repeat of the other night.”
“Neither do….” Xander started off, and then shrugged. He let his eyes rove over me for too long, then said, �
�No, I’m not going to lie. I’d love a repeat of the other night, but I’m sorry this is messing with your head.”
“Not enough to leave me alone, apparently.” Maybe I was being a bitch, but it was high time I was. Xander had played with my feelings for his personal benefit for long enough.
“I’m not stalking you Naomi. I came here tonight with my friends. I wasn’t planning on running into you,” Xander was saying.
“I’m sorry, I must have put a damper in your plans then,” I said, like a petulant child.
Xander rolled his eyes. “You know, I wasn’t the one shaking my ass on a dance floor full of horny Neanderthals looking for a fuck.”
I felt a sudden rage come over me. “I know that this is all just a game to you,” I said. “Just this casual thing where you get what you want out of me and then you throw me aside as soon as you’re done.”
The muscle in Xander’s jaw flexed. “You don’t know a fucking thing,” he spat. “Not one fucking thing.”
“Oh no?” Now I was up in his face, which was making not kissing him even harder, but I didn’t give a shit. I was tired of the game; of the lies and the confusing feelings and all the rest of it. I just wanted it to stop.
“Enlighten me then Xander. Why are you so hot one minute and so cold the next? Why do you make me believe there is something more here only to remind me that there isn’t?” I asked, knowing that I was just as guilty of doing the same to him. But I honestly didn’t think he cared.
Xander held my gaze evenly, his teeth clenched together.
“I’m doing what’s best for you,” he said quietly, “You don’t want to get involved with a guy like me.”
“What does that even mean?” I said, waving my arms in frustration.
Xander sighed heavily and his face suddenly looked exhausted. “Let me get you a cab,” he offered.
“I’m fine,” I said.
But it was too late. Xander had already hailed a cab and was ushering me toward it. He opened the back door for me, and then paused as I was halfway in. “I’m sorry,” he said. “About tonight. About the other night. About all of it.”
Pretend You’re Mine Page 7
