“I might not know everything about your past but I know you now and I want to know you more. Thank you for telling me all of this and I make sure you would never regret the decision to stay here. There are things that might help you in your decision. You could start your training with Zack if you want to, I am sure he would be happy to help you with that. You could also come to check our training once the whole pack is moved and everyone is here. You would see that there are not many forces that could stand against us.” I told her proudly. Our pack is the strongest pack on this continent. I made sure that the m******e that happened to our clan would never happen again and if we have to train more just to make sure that she would be safe the same as everyone else in this pack I would make them.
‘Our pack is not weak.’ Thoth told me. I knew that and I still know it. ‘I know we made sure of it.’ I replied to him. ‘Through the fire, through the storm, through the blood of our enemies.’ Thoth repeated our vow we made together shortly after he came to me. Thoth came at a crucial time for me when I wanted to give up everything. ‘Through the fire, through the storm, through the blood of our enemies.’ I repeated his words, letting those words once again come deep into my heart.
“I believe you and about the training, I already thought about it. I will see Zack tomorrow about that.” She replied to me. I saw in her eyes that she still has many doubts. I don’t blame her. It took me fifteen years to get where I am now and I still didn’t get over the death of my parents. Once I get the grip on the rogues who did that, I would kill them all. I would make them suffer the same that did to our people.
“Good, anyway, there is one thing I actually wanted to talk to you particularly. I want you to think about taking the vow and become part of this pack.” I told her and for the first time, I saw real fear and terror in her eyes. ‘Too soon. She just said she wants time for her to think and you ask her this. Sometimes I am so ashamed to have a human like you. Seriously dude.’ Thoth scolded me with the sarcasm and I just realized what I just did. She had to talk to her wolf because in a second the fear was gone and she looked at me with the resolve in her eyes. “We would discuss this later if you don’t mind. I think I would need to talk to Hannah first about some things and precautions before I officially join the clan because I think for some time should be better if I stay here but cover my wolf scent. Also, I was thinking of covering my hair when the rest of the pack arrives.” She informed me and was taken aback by her words. “You mean you don’t want anyone else to know that you are a wolf?” I asked just to confirm that I understood correctly and she nodded to me. “I don’t understand why,” I said and she looked at me taking my face into her hands. “Look, there are really a lot of things you have no idea about. And as I swore to you, I would let you know everything when the time comes, but when I say it is better to hide the fact that I am a strange wolf it is for safety. Not only mine but the whole pack. There are too many things you need to know so you would be ready for what would come. When I said that I might bring death to all of you it is not because I think you would be in anger. It is exactly because I know you would be in danger and once those who seek me know that I am here they would come. The reason I am still here and didn’t run and the reason we are having this conversation is exactly that I know you are strong. I saw the aura of your aunt and she is a she-wolf. She-wolves have usually half of the power that males have so now I have a clear image about the strength of your pack.” She was staring right into my eyes holding my face in her hands and I could feel the soft sparks coming from her through the skin where she was touching me. I couldn’t wait for her touch once we are fully mated and she is matured. ‘Stop daydreaming and listen to our mate.’ Thoth scolded me again. The moment she caught my face I was lost in her golden eyes that were looking right through me onto my soul, but I still heard her. I couldn’t say I understand what exactly she was talking about. What kind of aura she sees or why is she so afraid, but knowing that she is already more afraid of the people in the pack than for herself made me want her more?
“I couldn’t understand why you are so afraid of what the danger you are talking about until you fully explain to me the situation and your past. But I could promise you that we would do as you want. If you want to hide your wolf scent, do it. If you want to keep your hair colored, feel free to do it. Those who already know that you are a wolf would stay quiet. I could guarantee that to you.” I told her with a serious face placing my own palms over hers keeping them inside my hands. I kissed her forehead and then just rested my own head on hers as our foreheads were touching. “Thank you.” I heard her reply. “Thank you for everything you do for me.” I would do anything if that would bring peace into her mind but I knew life is not that easy. I already had more years to learn this and knowing that my own mate is carrying similar wounds and scars was making me so angry and pissed off.
Chapter 19
REI’S POV:
Honestly, I didn’t want to talk to him now. After that talk with Hannah, I had a lot of things to think about, and knowing that she actually already planned to have me as a Luna of this pack made me understand that no matter what they would fight for me once again and if the situations would come to it they would all die defending me. I didn’t want that. I don’t want to see any more of them die because of me. And the talk I had with Calen just now just assured me about that too. I already liked him too much. I couldn’t leave now, that time already passed so the only thing that’s left is to figure out how to secure the whole pack against the enemy. ‘Why you just couldn’t trust our mate?’ Maat asked me. ‘I do trust him. But I don’t want to see him die for us.’ I replied to her. I know they are strong. But the talk I had with Hannah made me realize that the human who was leading them won’t be just a human. I don’t know what he is but definitely not a wolf and I couldn’t imagine any wolf, rogue, or pack member to fight for a mere human. That simply didn’t make any sense.
‘They could handle it.’ Maat didn’t want to give up. I don’t blame her. I don’t want to give up also and I am not planning to. And I know she would not like the decision to stay hidden for so long. If I have to I would stay hidden for months. ‘Like our pack did?’ I told her back and felt the pain of the words I said. ‘Our pack wasn’t ready to fight and you know that.’ She replied to me. Yes, I knew that. Silver moon pack was not built for fights. We were servants of the Moon Goddess. You could say it is more like a pack full of Moon Priestesses. The women in our pack, same as in the other two packs I learned later, were also massacred as servants of Moon Goddess. The elders of our pack could bring a wolf to the child several years earlier using specific rituals. They possess powers borrowed from Moon Goddess to help other packs, but exactly because of that no one ever dared to attack any of those three packs, at least not before I was born. ‘It was not your fault.’ Maat tried to tell me again but I knew otherwise. For hundreds of years, none of those three sacred packs received any attacks. Not even from rogues. No one dared to touch them. But in order to find me, they massacred them all. Just to get me. ‘It was my fault and you know that same as I do. If I wouldn’t be born, they would be still alive.’ I argued with her.
There were no words that could ease this pain but at the same time, I couldn’t change the past. I was born for some reason. No matter how much I wish the opposite, my role here is still not finished and I need to continue living with the guilt that my pure existence cost thousands of lives. If you asked me if it was worthy at this moment, I would say no. So I need to make sure that before my time comes I would stand in front the Moon Goddess and I would be able to say yes, it was worthy of that sacrifice but at this moment I have no idea what the tomorrow would bring and what I must to do to make their sacrifice not end up in vain.
‘It is difficult to argue with you, sister.’ Maat told me and I could hear the defeat in her words. She didn’t want to argue with me anymore which was good. ‘We would keep our hair black as Hannah
recommended.’ I told her, trying to put
power and commitment into my words. To my surprise Maat really didn’t argue. ‘Just like that? You would not argue or anything?’ I asked her, surprised. ‘You already decided to stay here, become the Luna and stay with our mate. I can handle black hair and my stained fur for some time. Our mate is worthy.’ She told me back and I could understand why she was being like that. She was afraid up to now, that I might change my mind and run away. Honestly, I still think it is the best option but I couldn’t leave Calen. I waited too long and was too curious to know him and Maat didn’t help with that making our weak unfinished bond already work. ‘I see. We could discuss with her when to let you run but for next month you should get yourself comfortable in my skin. This next month before the pack members would arrive you could get as much freedom as you want without anyone seeing you but once the whole pack is here it would be very difficult.’ I informed Maat. I could sense her sadness growing inside her. Wolves are not made to be confined; they need freedom and space to run. I was now taking that from her. I was practically telling her that for the next few months she would be held in prison. It was breaking my heart knowing that I have to do this to my own wolf to make sure that the whole pack would be safe. ‘I would try to handle it as much as I could. But at that moment do me a favor and accept Calen’s request to become part of the pack. I could like that to speak freely with Thoth and with Calen and some others. I could maintain some kind of link with Thoth but it is very tiring and we couldn’t do that for long.’ She asked me and I understand why she did so. If I keep her locked inside me, she could become unstable. Having a chance to talk freely to her mate would make this
imprisonment more bearable.
‘I think I could do that.’ I told her back and at least a little spark of hope ignited inside her. ‘I am sorry to ask you all of this Maat.’ I said this holding the sadness deep inside my heart. I loved her. I loved her more than anything. She kept me alive all those years and kept me sane while staying alone in this seclusion. But staying only two of us was hard and I developed some issues if you say so like social phobia and on top of that I have zero social skills which make it even harder for me to talk to others. ‘I know why you do that and if I could help I would do it.’ Maat replied to me to bring back a little bit of the commitment and strength she is usually full of. ‘What is exactly your plan now?’ She asked me and honestly, I didn’t know how to reply. I was creating some kind of plan based on what Hannah told me and tried to figure out the perfect plan. At this moment I was thinking of making myself look like a human for the rest of the pack members but at that moment it would be difficult to train freely. As a human, I should be able to get the same training as the others get. That’s why I want to speak with Hannah one more time and try to figure out a better strategy. Since she asked me to color my hair, I assume she wanted me to look like a human. I know that the mating bond among the species is not usual but it is not impossible. So, to make it easier for Maat I was thinking to make myself look like a real witch.
‘Mhmm that could work too but at that moment it might bring some other problems. If you make yourself look like a witch it would bring attention and people would talk. Even as a witch I would recommend keeping black hair or any other color except silver. If our enemy would hear that there is a witch with silver hair and golden eyes, they might come to check you.’ Maat explained to me the flaws of my other plan. I didn’t think about this. ‘But as a witch, I could train martial arts. Witches are naturally sturdier than humans.’ I replied to her. Maat was thinking about the options too. ‘Well, there is always a chance to just pretend you are a human and take training secretly. I am sure Calen could arrange some place where this could work.’ Maat told me and it didn’t sound like a bad plan. ‘Maat, could we cut the hair to make it shorter?’ I asked her. I didn’t cut my hair since I ran away from my burned home and I wasn’t sure if actually, I could cut them. Normally for any she-wolves, the hair stopped growing at some point and didn’t grow further. My hair was much longer than it was normal and I know they were still growing. ‘I am afraid it would not help you.’ Maat told me and I didn’t understand what she meant. ‘Why?’ I asked her curiously. ‘It would be the same as it is with dyes. Once you cut them the next morning it would be back. You could go ask Tamara.’ Maat told me and I was confused. Who was Tamara? ‘Ask who?’ I asked her back. ‘She is the woman who made breakfast today. Not sure if you noticed since she tried to put her hair up into the bun as you do. But she would have probably a similar length as you have. And I am sure she already tried to cut it.’ Maat informed me and I was trying to remember the woman who was cooking today before we went to my cabin. I remember a woman with bright red hair standing beside the stove and cooking. Maat was right that she made the bun similar to the one I do and had it really full of hair which would mean she had to have really a lot of hair and I mean like seriously a lot or they had to be long as mine. ‘Why does she have long hair as I do?’ I asked Maat with confusion. What I was missing? Wolves are not supposed to have such long hair and so far I thought I am the only one but here we go. There was another wolf the same as me.
‘Hannah would have answers to that. She had hair that long too?’ This time my brain could not catch up anymore with what she was saying. I would notice that. ‘How?’ I asked Maat about the last statement. ‘She had short hair.’ I said being sure about what I see today. ‘Yes, today it was short but she had grey hair.’ I didn’t understand what Maat was implying. There were others in my pack with the grey hair. How it was connected to the length of the hair? ‘Ask her next time when you would see her when her hair becomes short.’ Maat told me and I was angry at her. Why doesn't she want to tell me herself? She never kept secrets from me. ‘Just do as I said. She would explain to you better than I do plus she already told that this is a story for another time so sooner or later she would tell you anyway.’ Maat said and her voice gave enough feelings to understand that she is done talking about this topic. I just sighed. At least we agreed about what I wanted to make sure would go smoothly without her arguing. Now I just need to speak to Calen to become the part of the pack for the sake of Maat. ‘It is not only for my sake.’ She told me before she closed the link in between us angrily. I had to laugh at her childish behavior sometimes.
Chapter 20
One month later – August CALEN’S POV:
So finally, we finished most of our territory and tomorrow the rest of our pack would be coming home. “Good job man.” Zack stood beside me at the entrance of our pack land as we were watching the finished houses, pack house, some workshops, and warehouses. It was damn time since the temperature was already slowly starting to go down and we still need to go hunting and start preparing for winter.
This past month was hard for everyone but I have to say that it was particularly harder for me and my wolf. Yes, we were delighted by Rei’s decision to join the pack and once the elders would arrive, we would make the ceremony where she gives her vow to become a pack member. I already discussed with Hannah what we shall do properly. I still don’t agree with her decision to pretend to be human but at least it would give me the opportunity to introduce her as my mate. I still don’t like that she is keeping things from me and leaving me in the dark to not understand the danger she is always talking about. Hannah is sadly on her side so she made it clear to tell me that Rei’s secret is her to tell. ‘Come on, we already partly win. She agreed to stay. She agreed to tell everyone that she is our mate so there would be no problem with the ceremony. She would start training secretly with Zack and with us. What else do you want for now?’ Thoth talked to me once again. Last four weeks we had this kind of talk regularly. There are still things that irritate me to the point that I am really getting angry and out of control but at some points he was right. We have our cute little mate in the pack. She moved her whole chemistry monstrosity to our pack house beside the hospital and to my surprise even Emily was completely taken away but that. I think those two became the best friends behind our backs.
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‘I understand everything you said but that still doesn’t mean that I would agree with the whole secret things just because we have our little mate home.’ I replied to my wolf and could already feel the daggers pointing to me from his eyes. Lately, he started to call me greedy unsatisfied bas*ard. I hoped he was joking but the more we argue, the more he uses this new nickname he gave me. Note to me: find a way to fix a relationship with my wolf.
New Beginning : A Beautiful Ethereal Creature (Spirit Wolf Book #1) Page 12
