by Eva Brandt
“I believe it would be a good idea to talk to her in private before she meets your flame-haired female again. I heard from Viu’an that they had some kind of astral confrontation and Teela lost.”
An astral confrontation? Between Teela and Selene? That was odd and somewhat worrisome. I’d been aware Selene had unusual talents, but if she had astral projection abilities powerful enough to overwhelm Teela, it could become a problem.
I turned toward the solar spirits, who were unashamedly listening to our conversation. “Could you please take the meal to my mate? It would seem I can’t do it personally, since my attention is required elsewhere.”
“Naturally, Milord. You can count on us.”
With a sigh, I followed Kallios out of the kitchens. Together, we made our way toward the training nucleus. Several teams were already there, sparring or practicing their photon summoning. Viu’an was fighting Danadu again, and once again, I had to wonder what had possessed him to agree. You’d think that a creature who primarily consisted of a mass of fleshy tentacles would avoid fighting a rocky monolith out of sheer self-preservation, but apparently not. I was beginning to suspect Viu’an had some kind of weird crush on Danadu, and this was their foreplay. If that was the case, maybe congratulations were in order for him too.
I left the duo to finish their battle and tracked down Teela. Unlike the others, she was resting. It wasn’t a good sign, since inactivity had never been her thing. Ostheo was keeping her company. They’d always gotten along, his feline-like form providing her with an anchor of familiarity at a time when she’d been desperate and afraid.
“Jar’yd,” she greeted me with a nod. “Is it true?”
She must have had more information than Kallios, because she obviously knew about Selene. “If you’re referring to my new mate, yes, it’s true. Does it bother you?”
Teela pursed her lips and stared at the sky. “I’m not sure. I feel like I should be angry with her. I could have pulled August and Pollux in if she hadn’t intervened. But maybe for now… Maybe this is a good thing. Assuming they’ll get over her, at least.”
“You don’t sound like you believe that, Teela.”
“That’s because I don’t. Jar’yd, you need to be careful. My brother loves me. I know he does. But that woman… All she had to do was step between us and it was like Pollux just forgot about me. Remember who and what she is. At the end of the day, she’s not a Heliad. Her soul was bound to a chimera, and that’s never a good sign.”
“Maybe, but I will break that bond.” I took Teela’s hand and threaded our fingers together. “I know this isn’t ideal, Teela, but please, do try to welcome her here.”
“I don’t have much choice, do I?” Teela mumbled. “We need more women and the Great Mother believes she’s going to be an asset.”
I suppressed a flinch. That was a sore subject for Teela. Because of the way her human life had ended, she’d so far been unable to have children. The Great Mother was skeptical about Teela’s ability to ever reproduce. That didn’t make her any less valued in our community, but it still hurt her.
Teela got up and freed her hand from my hold. “Tell me, Jar’yd. What does Selene Renard have that I don’t? Why is she so important and I’m not?”
“Don’t say such things,” I replied. “Of course you’re important.”
Teela didn’t acknowledge my words. She wasn’t prone to falling into bouts of self-pity, but she was obviously unhappy with the situation.
I didn’t know what to say that would improve this, but Ostheo saved us all from further awkwardness. “Come, Teela. I heard the new recruits around the Eastern gates have been making mischief. We should drop by and remind them of their duties.”
Technically speaking, that wasn’t our job, but Ostheo was enough of a prankster to get away with it. The rest of the Heliads never minded, since half the time, it was all in good fun. We were usually happy to contribute to his self-appointed tasks of hazing, but I could understand why he’d only invited Teela. For a creature that looked like a cross between a cockroach and a cat, he could be strikingly tactful.
“That sounds good,” Teela said. “Let’s go. Everyone needs to remember that our priority always has to be our service to the Great Mother.”
The latter sentence was undoubtedly a dig at me. She left without waiting for a reply, and I watched her go, wishing I were at least half as good at handling her as Ostheo. “That could have gone better,” I commented.
Kallios squeezed my shoulder with a clawed paw. “Teela is a good woman. She’ll understand, eventually. Don’t let it get to you. You did what you could. At the end of the day, you don’t owe anyone any explanations about your feelings. If you want the flame-haired female as your mate and the Great Mother has approved, that is the way it’s supposed to be.”
It really was that easy, and even if Teela didn’t like it, she’d learn to accept it. Reassured, I decided to return to the mating den.
By now, Selene must have received her meal and had some time to think about what I’d told her. It wouldn’t do to leave her alone for too long either. She had no occupation in the den, so she’d likely be bored and upset if I just abandoned her there.
Much to my surprise, when I arrived at the den, I didn’t find Selene panicking, upset, or mournful. Instead, she was talking to a solar spirit, poking at her meal without eating and eyeing the creature with clear interest.
“Oh, hello, Jared,” she said mildly. “You’re back. Tessera has been keeping me company. I hope you don’t mind.”
“Of course I don’t mind. Even if I did, I doubt my opinion would matter to you anyway.” She flushed, and I knew I’d been correct in my guess. “Don’t worry about it. As long as you’re comfortable, you can speak to anyone you want. Have you eaten?”
“Not enough,” the solar spirit replied in Selene’s stead. “I believe the Lady Selene isn’t satisfied with what we offered.”
The creature sounded quite dejected that his efforts had been spurned and Selene noticed. “That’s not it. I’m just not sure I can eat this, that’s all.”
“I’ve already instructed them to give you something that’s compatible with your physical form, Selene,” I said. “They’re used to Terrans. Believe it or not, your presence here isn’t that unusual.”
“Right. Because you were a human too. How does that work, exactly? How could you possibly be both a human, and a Heliad?”
I let out a heavy sigh. I’d known Selene would ask, but I’d hoped we could leave the difficult conversation for a different time. I’d already dumped enough on her shoulders without mentioning the burdens of my past.
But I had told her I wanted to be honest with her, and there was no going back from that now. “Are you sure you want to hear this? It’s not a pleasant story.”
Selene set her jaw in a stubborn jut. “Most things in my life are unpleasant as of late. Tell me.”
Nodding, I opened my mouth and started to speak. I wondered if, by the time I finished my tale, she’d be more willing to accept her unavoidable future.
* * *
Selene
Jared’s revelations were a heavy blow. After he left, I lay there, on the round bed, musing over his words and trying to come up with any kind of explanation that wouldn’t involve believing him.
I failed, because this wasn’t about Jared at all. I’d seen Scylla eat people myself. I knew how cruel my friends and lovers could be. That didn’t mean Jared had been truthful with me in everything, but it did lend credence to his words.
The arrival of the strange glowing creature was a nice distraction. It looked like an amalgamation of solar winds, transparent, but well-defined enough that I could distinguish it was there. It was also carrying a golden platter with a strikingly Terran-looking meal on it. “We’ve prepared sustenance for you, Lady Selene. I hope you will find this to your taste.”
I wasn’t hungry and had no desire to try alien food, even if it did look familiar. Instead, I decided to engage
the creature in conversation. It—or rather he—eventually introduced himself as a solar spirit. He didn’t have a name per se, but when needed, he went by Tessera.
Tessera was nice enough and confirmed some of the things Jared had already told me. He also said that my little bedroom was called a ‘mating den’ and that everyone was really excited about Jared’s imminent mating. Apparently, my choice was irrelevant in this matter. The Heliads all believed I’d agree to become a broodmare, just because they wanted me to.
When Jared returned, I fully intended to confront him about it. But something about his presence made me hold my tongue. There was a shadow of sadness in his eyes that hadn’t been there before. And so, when we started to speak, our conversation went into a different direction.
Considering what he told me, I almost wished I’d stuck to the topic of conversation I’d originally wanted to choose.
“As you know, I’m natively human,” he began. “My parents were good people in their own way, loyal to King Philip, a little prejudiced against Terrans, but not more so than any other member of Chimera nobility.
“To be honest, Selene, growing up, I wasn’t very different from the man you knew at school. As a child, I always wanted to serve our rulers. But at the same time, I felt so secure in my own superiority that I couldn’t conceive anything could possibly go wrong.”
“But something did go wrong,” I guessed. That much was obvious, since otherwise, he wouldn’t be here, in the Apsid Quasar.
“Yes, of course. It was a few years ago, before I entered the academy. I was still a boy. My father was an official in the Theia Corps, and we traveled to one of the smaller garrisons near Hyperion Base 35. They never explained what we were actually doing there, and I always was a curious child. I got bored easily.”
His voice grew distant, as if he wasn’t talking to me anymore. “The garrison base was older than what we have now. The vents were pretty big, the type that’s often used in less sophisticated places to ensure drones can efficiently move around without hindering human staff. It was pretty easy for me to sneak inside and start investigating. It was like a game for me.”
“There weren’t any sensors in the vents?” I asked.
“No. It didn’t occur to me until much later that it was strange, but by then, I had other things to worry about.
“You see, Selene, the garrison actually held an experimentation center for human-Heliad couplings. The Grand Judiciary has been trying to breed humans and Heliads for decades, and they’ve had some limited success. Of course, I didn’t know that at the time. All I got to see from my vent was several burly men raping a trapped little girl.”
I gaped at him in shock. “A child?”
Jared nodded glumly. “As far as I could tell, she wasn’t even ten years old.”
After what I’d witnessed in Tartarus City and in Gaia’s Haven, I had no doubt that he was telling the truth, at least in part. The Grand Judiciary had no scruples and couldn’t care less about the well-being of any citizen. And if the captive had been a Heliad, they’d have cared even less. Age factors might have been deemed just as irrelevant, no matter how repulsive the idea was.
But that didn’t answer my previous question. How had the rape of the Heliad child caused Jared’s change in species?
I decided to not interrupt Jared again and waited for him to clarify. He didn’t disappoint. “The girl’s power was contained by a collar. And it worked at first. But after a point… I don’t know, something happened. The collar cracked and the whole room exploded.
“Suffice to say, there was no way to survive that kind of blast—not for those bastards, and not for me. But unlike them, I was only a child, and collateral damage in something that wasn’t my fault. My soul cried out at the injustice of what I’d seen. And someone helped.
“Selene, Gaia might be a being that heals the earth, and Tartarus might try to protect it, but Helios… Helios is the god that can give anyone a new life, helping them be reborn from their ashes. I know it sounds like a paradox, because he embodies sunlight, not life. But that’s how it was, for me. I was created anew, given another body and returned to my previous location, after having made a promise and been entrusted with an important task.”
“Your mission,” I couldn’t help but blurt out. “The mission you mentioned in the labyrinth, which you said you had to entrust to me. What was so important that you had to go through all that?”
“I can’t tell you that, I’m afraid. It’s a secret that was entrusted to me by the Great Mother. But I had to fake my death in that way because I feared people were starting to suspect. Zephyrus in particular. It’s not that easy to fool a chimera, and even a harpy can connect to someone’s soul.”
“So long story short, Selene… I died after I saw the wrong thing. It was only an accident, but even so, I knew it was a sign and, in a way, a gift.”
It should have been an unbelievable story, but I’d seen Jared Glass burning alive with my own eyes at the tournament. That wasn’t something anyone could walk away from without some kind of special gift. Besides, I already knew the gods could do great things. I’d never heard of Helios intervening before, but it was possible.
“A lot of people here are just like me, Selene, people who died because of injustice. Naturally, not all of them are connected to Terra and to The Grand Judiciary. The Heliads are related to countless species. It’s just that mankind chose to be our worst enemy.”
“Because they wanted to feed you to the chimeras.”
“It seems so, yes. Truthfully, Selene, I don’t know everything. I’m still only a soldier and I don’t understand what could have determined Gaia and Tartarus to awaken the chimeras. They may have originally been meant for an entirely different purpose, before the Heliads made contact with Terra. It’s possible that the gods were trying to help Terrans, maybe shield them from someone else. But it was so long ago that it barely matters anymore.”
“I think it matters,” I replied. “Wars are started by powerful people, but it’s usually the weak that pay the price. Billions died in The Apsid Wars, and most of them had no involvement in what was done to you and to your people. We should at least know why and how it started.”
Jared said nothing. What could he say? He was right, in his own way, but so was I, and we were at a stalemate.
Besides, even assuming he was honest about the whole thing, that The Grand Judiciary was as evil as he claimed, that his people had been provoked into the invasion, I still didn’t belong here. I needed to go home, to my family, to my friends, and to my lovers.
My heart ached when I thought about them. I remembered Sphinx and the way she’d fallen on the battle field. I remembered my fellow Chimera Warriors’ cries, their desperation when I’d fallen.
Yes, they’d lied to me and they’d committed unspeakable crimes. But even so, I had to see them. I couldn’t leave them. I still believed in them. They were still mine, and I was still theirs.
“Jared, I’m sorry you had to go through all that. I wish I could help you, that I could do more to stop this conflict. But I can’t. And I don’t belong here. I’m a Terran and a chimera warrior. You have to let me go.”
Jared’s deep blue eyes fixed me with a look that seemed to scorch my very soul. “I was wondering when you were going to ask me that again. I’m surprised it took you this long.”
I’d have been surprised at myself too, but I hadn’t been nearly as passive as he seemed to think. I could have hardly tried anything while crippled by grief, confusion, and terror. The time he’d given me had been a useful weapon, one better than a tachyon blade. It had allowed me to regain my clarity.
For the first time, since I’d woken up in this strange place, I left the bed. I half-expected to fall to the bottom of the sphere, but instead, I ended up floating mid-air, just like Jared was.
It didn’t take me long to adapt to it, since I’d done gravitational exercises at the academy. Straightening my back, I glared at Jared. “I’m so sorry to di
sappoint. I’m clearly not good enough for you. So why not abandon this ridiculous game and return me to Terra?”
“Because it’s not a game and you don’t belong there,” Jared replied, not seeming taken aback by my protests.
The chances of me being able to reason with him were slim to none. So, escape was the only option.
Biting the inside of my cheek, I considered my approach. Attacking him now was out of the question. When we’d been in the labyrinth, he’d managed to pin me down, and I got the feeling he hadn’t been trying too hard to beat me. I was a better fighter than I’d been at the time, but I doubted I could defeat him.
That left me with subterfuge and possibly sneaking out. “They’ll come for me,” I said. “They won’t let you have me, just like that.”
I’d said something similar when I’d first woken up, and I didn’t like to repeat myself or use my lovers as a threat. But maybe it would throw him off, make him believe that I’d chosen to wait for them instead of attempting to escape on my own. I couldn’t look too passive either, because he’d never believe it, but I still had to catch him and his accomplices unawares.
Fortunately, Jared responded in a perfect way—sort of. His eyes flashed and he stalked to my side, grabbing my wrists in an unbreakable hold. “Their opinion doesn’t matter. There’s nothing they can do to help you now, my beautiful Terran. You’re mine to breed, mine to claim, like you should have been from the very beginning.”
I knew I should be trying to pull away, to free myself from him. At the back of my mind, a voice was screeching in anguished frustration, willing me to attack. And yet, something told me I needed to hear him out.
“Is that right? I’ll have you know that I belong to no one but myself.”
“That’s a lie, Selene. You haven’t belonged to yourself since you first entered that damn machine.” He pressed his body to mine and the heat he emanated threatened to scorch my flesh off my bones. “But I can fix that. I can free you.”
