by Eva Brandt
“I agree with Flight Lieutenant Alexander. We decided to work together to free Selene. Flight Lieutenant Glass’s disappearance doesn’t matter anymore.”
Selene’s breath caught and she walked a little faster. “Jared is gone?” she asked as she burst into the main deck.
Everyone turned to look at her. August looked pale, but he managed to reply anyway. “I think so. I sensed something earlier. I can’t identify what it was, but I think he’s in trouble.”
It was entirely possible that he was right. After all, Tanya didn’t like Jared and she could have turned on him instead of agreeing to help. But if that was the case, we might not have the forces to intervene. I honestly wasn’t sure I cared enough to even do it.
On the other hand, he had been the one to save us. If he hadn’t arrived on time, we might not have gotten out of Tartarus Base. I might not have a lot of scruples, but I couldn’t disregard that.
“Is there any way to make sure? If he’s in trouble, we have to at least try to help him.”
“I’ve been trying to contact the Great Mother, but I don’t think I can do it on my own. If she can hear me, she isn’t answering.”
“Maybe I could help,” Selene piped up.
“No, that’s too dangerous,” Commander Trevor protested. “Your pregnancy could be at risk. You almost miscarried less than a day ago.”
“I know that, Sir,” Selene replied. “Believe me, I haven’t forgotten. But that doesn’t mean I intend to just stand here and do nothing.”
My uncle tilted his head at her, considering Selene’s offer. “Acting Lieutenant Renard, have you ever heard about the rumor that red-headed children are actually related to apsids?”
Selene blinked at his apparent non sequitur. “Of course. It mostly wasn’t an issue when I lived on Terra, but there were some people who still believed it.”
“That’s because it’s true,” he answered. “It’s not a rule, of course, and regular redheads are different from redheads with alien DNA.”
“If this is some kind of joke, uncle, I’m not laughing,” I told him. “Selene’s parentage has been long ago determined.”
“I’m not questioning that. But I still believe that there’s something special about you, something that allowed you to gain the interest of several gods.”
“Maybe, but we don’t really have time to explore my past, Your Highness.”
“There’s always time for family bonding. And we’re long overdue a conversation.”
I didn’t like his tone and I didn’t appreciate the way he was looking at her. All of a sudden, I remembered that his real interest wasn’t in Selene, but in the baby she carried.
“Uncle, you’d do well to drop this line of conversation,” I growled at him.
“I don’t think I will,” he replied. “After all, Selene said she wants to help. You’re not in any position to deny her.”
Selene narrowed her eyes at him, suspicious, but interested. “What did you have in mind, Your Highness?”
This was how we ended up in the infirmary with Selene seated on the bed, skeptically listening to what my uncle had in mind. “You want me to get a haircut?”
“You’d be surprised what kind of power lies in a single strand of hair,” Archibald replied. “Even when it doesn’t possess independent magical abilities, it still carries the essence of its owner and can form the basis of solid energy channeling.”
Energy conduits. He was talking about energy conduits, similar to phasers. “Won’t it hurt Selene?”
“That’s the whole point of cutting it off. Once she’s no longer attached to the hair, the circuit will close and she’ll be outside it. The power in her hair won’t withstand the separation from her for too long, but we need it now and for only one use.”
“Go for it then,” Selene replied. “I don’t care about my hair. Honestly, I should have gotten rid of it long ago. It’s a hindrance in combat.”
She wasn’t wrong. When someone had long hair, their opponent could easily grab them during a fight. Getting haircuts wasn’t a rule in the military, but that was just because men did it naturally, keeping it neatly trimmed all the time.
Still, it grated on me that Selene would consider any part of herself a hindrance. She was perfect just the way she was. She shouldn’t have had to sacrifice anything for anyone.
I must have been more obvious about my concern than I’d thought, because Selene turned toward me and shot me a quick smile. “Relax. I’m not upset about it. It’s just hair, and if I want to, I’ll grow it back.”
Yes, it was, but as far as I was concerned, no part of Selene was ever ‘just’ anything. Still, I couldn’t protect her, not when she wanted to do this. I had to believe it was the right thing to do. What other option did I have?
My uncle reached for a simple tungsten knife, one that wouldn’t do any damage to Selene’s body. Selene snatched it from his grip before he could use it on her. “Let me.”
Archibald didn’t protest. Instead, he just took a step back and we all watched in silence as Selene started cutting off her own hair.
There was something strangely final about the whole process. Despite what she’d said earlier, Selene’s eyes flashed whenever the knife sliced through her crimson locks. Her hands didn’t falter and she didn’t flinch, but her body was rigid and her jaw tight.
Was she in pain? Tartarus help me, I hoped not. Hair didn’t have nerve endings, but Selene might be the exception, especially if my uncle was right and each individual strand was connected to her core.
It took everything in my power to not keep her from finishing what she had to do. I stood there, watching and waiting, half-hoping that she’d reach out to me and allow me to carry all her burdens in her stead. But she didn’t, and I tasted hate and bitterness in my mouth.
This was so unfair. Even if Jared had helped us, Selene didn’t owe him anything. He’d forced himself on her and had impregnated her, taking away her choice and her freedom. Selene might love that baby inside of her, but her affection didn’t change the source of the child.
Maybe we should have just left, abandoned everything, forgotten all about Terra and the people here. Maybe I should have listened to Knox and ignored Jared’s disappearance. What a clusterfuck.
By the time it was all over, I was shaking in anguish and frustration. The others weren’t doing much better. Knox was occasionally growling under his breath, and the floor had melted under August’s feet. Commander Trevor had dared to reach for his shoulder in an attempt to calm him down, but he’d almost destroyed his new metal limb in the process. And Pollux didn’t seem to be paying attention to the worrying exchange, choosing instead to keep staring at Selene.
Selene had cut her hair almost brutally short. Compared to her earlier mane of crimson, it was a massive change. Without her curls falling over her shoulders in gentle waves, her face looked sharper and sterner. “How do I look? I didn’t butcher it too badly, did I?”
I walked up to her without a word and silently asked her for the blade. She offered it to me and I finished her self-assigned task, neatening up some areas she hadn’t been able to reach properly and making her hair even.
“You look beautiful,” I said when I was done. “You always do.”
Selene didn’t answer, and I got the feeling she didn’t really believe it. “What now?”
“Now we take the hair and find your missing apsid,” my uncle said. “I want you to stay here, young Selene. It’s better for you to keep your distance, to make sure the process doesn’t affect you in any way. Commander Trevor, Flight Lieutenant Donadieu and Flight Lieutenant Alexander could stay with you.”
I would have liked to keep Selene company myself, but I assumed my uncle needed me for whatever we were about to do. Since August was half-apsid, he’d be necessary too. In a way, I supposed this was better. I’d failed Selene, just like I’d failed everyone here, and I didn’t deserve her.
Forcing a smile, I took her hand and kissed it. “Don’
t worry, Selene. We’ll get to the bottom of this. We’ll find a way to bring Jared back.”
“Thank you, Brendan,” she answered softly. “Just be careful. I don’t know what’s going on, but I have a bad feeling.”
I had a bad feeling too, otherwise I would have done something more to keep Selene from getting involved in this investigation. My tablet had started to vibrate against my chest, pulsing like it had a heartbeat of its own. Selene produced an identical device and offered it to me. Hers was dormant, but the moment I touched it, I felt its agitation. “Something’s very wrong,” she said. “I’m scared.”
The simple fact that she’d made the confession struck me like a blow to the solar plexus. She’d always done her best to not display vulnerability, knowing it would be used against her at Chimera Academy. But these were extreme circumstances. Everything had changed, and we couldn’t follow the same rules as before.
“So am I,” I admitted. “But we’ll move forward anyway. I won’t stop until I force this system into submission.”
Selene’s concerned expression twisted into a small smile. “Of course. Sorry about losing hope.” She took my hand and squeezed it gently. “And Brendan… For what it’s worth, I’m sorry about your father.”
“I’m not. The only thing I regret is that his death might allow others to take his place before we’re completely prepared. But he had it coming.”
I wouldn’t have hesitated staining my hands with his blood if I had to. In a way, it was better that I hadn’t been forced to step in, since it meant the new system wouldn’t start under the shadow of patricide. But even so, I knew the hard work was only just beginning.
My father had just been a cog in a greater, far more dangerous machine. Everything in our society was working against us. It was time to take it all down, and to do that, we had to find Jared Glass and figure out why he’d been taken captive.
Escape
Jared
“So… Cousin. Would you like to explain when exactly you became a mutated apsid?”
“I’d rather not,” I replied. “Why don’t you let me go, Vincent? I’ll be on my way and nothing will come of this.”
My cousin shot me a sympathetic look. “I’m afraid I can’t do that. I have specific orders from The Grand Judiciary to keep you under watch at all times. And if that fails, I’m authorized to proceed with more harmful methods.”
I sneered, not believing him for a second. “More harmful than this?”
I stared down at myself, or better said, what was left of me. The Grand Judiciary was taking no chances. Once they’d managed to snatch me up—and Helios only knew how that had happened—they’d attached countless suppressors to my recently reformed body, making sure to gradually sap the flow of photons coursing through me. But they hadn’t stopped there. I was currently lying on a heat-resistant metal slab, with a drone hovering over me, slicing me open with its laser.
It had already removed a lung and it was working on my liver. It hadn’t gone for my hearts yet, which sucked, because if it had done that, I’d have been able to access Helios’s flame and return to Nexus. Not ideal, considering the fact that Selene was missing, but better than being trapped here, getting vivisected.
I had to rely on the fact that sooner or later, they’d get a little too ambitious and take things too far. But that would take a while, especially since Vincent was here to make sure I didn’t die on them. “Why did you do this, Jared?” he insisted. “Why did you betray us?”
“How do you know I did?” I asked, baring my teeth at him. “Your cousin is dead, Vincent Glass. He died as a child, in the explosion of a garrison. I took his place, to spy on you filthy Terrans. And it worked beautifully. Not even that bitchy chimera was able to read me enough to distinguish my real intentions.”
Vincent’s breath caught at my apparent confession. I laughed at him, deliberately mocking his pain. “Oh, what now? Are you going to cry? You know, no matter how much pain I’m ever in, it won’t compare to what that kid experienced as he died.”
The irony was that it was mostly true. In my apsid form, my brain could better block out physical trauma. Even if they sliced me to pieces, I’d still be able to function, at least to some extent. As a human, I would have been crippled by the agony right now. Even years after that day, when I’d been killed by my own people, I couldn’t say I’d experienced a pain that was fiercer. The only thing that could perhaps compare was the time I’d transported me and Selene to Nexus, since I’d been forced to give her my natural shield. But even that had been less powerful than being burned alive, as a human.
Vincent believed me, which was both good and bad. “You piece of alien trash. I’ll fucking kill you.”
He pressed a button on his communicator and the drone beeped, having obviously received some kind of message. It started moving faster, digging into my body with greater purpose. “By the time I’m done with you, there’ll be nothing left of you but pieces.”
I spat in his face even as the drone began trying to separate my arm from my body. It managed to dig into my skin, but my bones resisted. I laughed harder, already starting to feel the suppressor cuffs heating up.
If I could crack them, I’d be able to mimic what that girl had done all those years ago. Just a little more and I could be free. Come on, come on.
Another drone showed up, joining its friend. At this point, my cousin had stopped trying to ask me questions. He was just watching me get tortured with an almost savage expression of satisfaction on his face.
Time passed. More people came and left, some belonging to the Crius Guard Corps, others members of the various star fleets. Doctors dropped by to check on me and retrieve the organs the drones had extracted. My body stubbornly endured. I drifted between pain, anguish, and dread, always aware that every second I spent here was a risk to Selene.
If I didn’t come back with news from Terra, what would the others do? They couldn’t attack Hades Base on their own. That was insane. They might be powerful, but they couldn’t bypass all the defenses there, especially not without me.
I sent a mental prayer to Helios, willing him to give me the strength to beat this. It was difficult, because my mind was still a little fuzzy after what I’d experienced when I’d tried to leave Terra. I couldn’t remember everything, but I knew something had happened to Zephyrus.
A part of me wanted to ask Vincent about it. He belonged to the Harpy Squad too, so he must have some knowledge of what was going on. After our earlier exchange, he wouldn’t be inclined to provide me with any reassurance, but maybe I’d be able to wriggle it out of him with insults.
I was working on the exact details of my plan when a rattled guard burst into the room. “Terrible news! The king is dead!”
“What?” one of the doctors asked. “Impossible! How? He was heading this way, perfectly safe, protected by the chimeras.”
“I don’t know, Sir,” the guard replied, “but the ship exploded. We’ve yet to receive news from Prince Brendan, although we know the Venom is no longer on Tartarus Base.”
The way they were speaking seemed to suggest they didn’t deem Brendan a traitor. That was good news, since it meant the king hadn’t shared his plans with his underlings. But on the other hand, I couldn’t believe Philip was dead, just like that.
Philip’s fate wasn’t the most important part of the equation. My blood turned to ice as I remembered my earlier episode. The ship had exploded. Zephyrus had been there as well, and that meant her metallic body had been destroyed. And while I grieved for her and the other chimeras, I believed they could come back, once their shells were rebuilt.
Selene wouldn’t be so lucky.
Oh, Helios. No, no, no, no, no. This couldn’t be happening. Selene couldn’t be dead.
I hadn’t gotten the chance to tell her how I truly felt about her. I’d tried to apologize, but nothing I’d done had made up for my actions. I hadn’t been able to help her or make her forgive me.
Selene. Selene. Selene.
I screamed, the heat inside me increasing more and more. The drones were blasted back. The suppressor cuffs cracked, unable to contain the unleashed power of my grief.
“What the fuck?” Vincent cursed. “Stop!”
I didn’t stop. I didn’t care about anything anymore and I had no intention of waiting or relying on outside assistance. I felt broken and shattered, and I’d break and shatter everything in retaliation.
I remembered the first time I’d kissed Selene, when she hadn’t even been aware I was the one she was kissing. She had felt genuine grief over the death of Jared Glass, even if at the academy, I’d treated her like trash. She had always been so special, so determined, so beautiful and driven.
My life had been dedicated to my mission for so long that up to a point, I’d forgotten how to feel. Maybe that was why it had been so easy for me to hurt her, because I hadn’t realized that people experienced emotion differently.
I screamed again and the vials and machines in the room started to shatter. The guards retrieved their phasers. The doctors were attempting to evacuate. The drones lunged at me again, their lasers flashing.
At the back of my mind, I could now see my whole unit, supporting me in their own way. I could remember Teela’s stern eyes, Kallios’s sharp grin, Danadu and Viu’an’s bickering. I was Jar’yd again, standing in front of the Great Mother and receiving her blessing.
“You have such promise, my child,” she’d said to me once. “Never abandon hope.”
I wondered if she’d seen this coming, if she’d always known it would happen. If she had, I didn’t think I could consider myself a Heliad ever again. I loved my people, but I loved Selene more, and I could never forgive them for being the cause of her death, no matter how indirect. I couldn’t forgive myself either.
At last, the cuffs broke and I got up, clutching my middle to keep my insides from spilling out. I needn’t have bothered. The heat I was emanating instantly cauterized my injuries. It was a shame it couldn’t do the same with the terrible wound I’d received, all the way into my soul.
