by Lois Richer
“Go in alone?” she asked aghast, her voice squeaky. “No! You were the one who found this place. You should be with me, Mac.” She turned in her seat and said loudly, “You two behave.”
Immediately the twins settled.
“Let’s go in,” Adele said, though she could tell it was the last thing Mac wanted to do. She had no idea why that would be, only that something was very wrong. They straggled across the lot, into the brick building and followed the sign to reception.
Mac said nothing the entire time. But Adele saw his hand clench and unclench. Maybe he was worried for her, lest they find disappointment. She stepped close to him and bunted him with her shoulder.
“Relax, Mac. Even if we don’t find Gina, it’s been a stellar day.”
He nodded but didn’t crack a smile.
“May I help you?” a woman behind the counter asked.
“Perhaps. I am trying to find out if Gina Parker is here. She’s my sister. I haven’t seen her for many years and I’ve missed her so much.” Adele paused when her voice cracked.
“We do have a Gina working here. But her last name isn’t Parker.”
“Oh.” Dejected, Adele almost turned away. But then her aunties’ favorite verse filled her brain. “In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” She whispered a quick prayer for help, then faced the woman again. “Might we meet with her anyway? Maybe she has information about my sister.”
“I guess. She’s assisting another counselor now, though. They’re leading a youth group.” The woman smiled. “We always offer several youth sessions around the Christmas season. Youth seem to be so lost without family. Can you wait about fifteen minutes?”
Adele glanced at Mac, who rolled his eyes but nodded.
“We can wait,” she said.
“Have a seat. There are coloring books and crayons in the cupboard for the children. They’re such cuties.” The woman laughed as the twins shrugged their coats on the floor then settled down to color.
“Thank you.” Adele took the chair next to Mac, who thrust out his feet but didn’t look at her. “What’s wrong?”
“Adele, I need to tell you something and you won’t like it.” He’d barely said the words when a group of teens burst out of a door and noisily made their way outside.
“The group is breaking up early. You can go in now. Through the same door those kids just came out of,” the receptionist directed.
“Thank you.” Adele rose, irritated that Mac didn’t move with the same urgency. In fact, he seemed to be unmoving. Surely whatever he had to say could wait a few minutes. “I really need you with me,” she whispered.
He sighed, gave her a look she couldn’t translate, then finally shuffled to his feet.
“You’re welcome to leave the kids here. I’ll watch them,” the woman offered. “It’s a slow day for me and I love kids.” She emerged from behind the desk and hunkered down beside the twins, grabbing a crayon to join them. “I don’t have any grandchildren,” she explained with a laugh. “Go ahead and don’t worry. We’ll be fine.”
A policewoman entered. The receptionist smiled.
“I was hoping you’d drop in. I just made a fresh pot of coffee. Help yourself, Sergeant Jones.” She giggled at the sergeant’s surprised look. “We’re having a coloring party here.”
“I’ll stay here,” Mac insisted.
“Please, Mac. I need you,” Adele begged. “The kids will be okay with a policewoman here.”
“Yes, they will. But leave the door ajar so you can see us while you’re talking to Gina, if that helps,” the receptionist suggested.
“Thank you. That’s very kind of you. I’m a nervous new mom.” Adele looped her arm through Mac’s. “Come on.”
The doors led to a gymnasium. A group of chairs formed a circle around two figures. Adele saw bright red hair cascading in thick waves around a freckled face she’d never forgotten, though it had matured.
“Gina!” she cried and raced over to the sister who’d been missing from her life way too long.
“Adele?” Gina grabbed her, studied her for interminable moments before pulling her close. It was enough for Adele to just savor her sister’s embrace and let the past go along with all the longing and fears.
But her questions wouldn’t be silenced.
“This is my best friend, Mac,” she said, unaware that until then he’d hung back. “I’ve been trying to find you forever. Where have you been?”
“Australia. I moved there with my adoptive family. I only came back to Canada two months ago because my adoptive parents died in a car accident and I was all alone.” Tears rolled down her sister’s freckled face as she studied Adele. “When I learned I was moving there I asked, but our mom and dad refused to let me contact you. They said it would upset you too much. I’m pretty sure my letters to you got thrown out.”
“I never got them,” Adele whispered, heartbroken at the suffering she’d endured.
“I’ve missed you, Adele.” Gina sniffled through her tears and explained, “I came back here, to this place, because before I was adopted, I ran away from foster care. This center is where I felt safe. My adopted dad was the counselor here back then. He helped me get out of street life. He and his wife adopted me. I’m Gina Jones now.”
“That’s why I couldn’t find you,” Adele murmured. “I asked about you, but Mom and Dad both made up excuses about you being far away, too busy to bother with us.”
“Absolutely untrue.” Gina related the horror of her life after she’d been placed in foster care. Adele began to realize that her sister had suffered far more than she, and yet since then, she, too, had found a faith in God that had kept her grounded all these years.
“So you came back to Edmonton.” Adele smiled. “I’m so glad.”
“Me, too. I have my psychology degree now. I came here hoping to pass forward some of the blessings I’ve received. Dave’s trying to do the same, so we’re working together to help kids.” She smiled at the man in a wheelchair beside her. “Dave, this is my sister, Adele.”
“Hi, Adele.” The big burly man grinned and waggled a hand.
“Nice to meet you, Dave. And this is my friend, Mac—” Adele glanced around surprised that Mac had retreated to the entry.
“Mac McDowell.” Dave’s greeting sounded guarded. He waited until Mac joined them, face inscrutable. “How are you?”
“I should be asking you that and I should have done it ages ago. I apologize, Dave.” Mac seemed tentative, something Adele hasn’t seen before. His quiet “How are you?” confused her even further.
“I’m in this chair. How do you think I am?”
Whoa! Adele blinked. Mac hadn’t wanted to come in here—was this why?
“I’m sorry, Dave. I’d do anything I could to change that.” Mac sounded contrite. “I know it’s my fault you’re there.”
“Yeah, it is. You pushed that jet too hard, Mac.” Dave’s icy words scared Adele but all she could do was listen. “They told you to ease down on the throttle when you hit that ceiling and you didn’t.”
“No, I didn’t. The engine stalled and we crashed.” Mac didn’t sound like himself, not strong and confident. He sounded—ashamed. “I’m sure you hate me.”
“I did,” Dave said, eyes glittering.
“I’m not surprised,” Mac muttered. “When I think about that day, I hate me, too.”
Adele glanced at Gina, but her attention was focused on Dave.
“But what good does hating do?” Dave’s piercing gaze searched Mac’s.
“Dave was your copilot?” Adele frowned.
“And best friend, I thought.” Dave still studied Mac. “He was my captain until we crashed. And then I never saw him again.”
“I saw you. As soon as I was mobile, I went to the hospital. But I couldn’t go in. I was too ashamed,
” Mac murmured. “Seeing what I’d done to you—” He shook his head, his voice choked. “I am so sorry.”
“Thank you for saying that.” Dave’s voice eased. “But you lost something, too. Can’t be easy for you.”
“I didn’t get what I deserved,” Mac growled.
“Who does? If we got what we deserved, the two of us would be dead.” Dave smiled at Adele’s confusion. “I’m guessing this guy never told you he and I were the aces on our team.”
“No,” she whispered.
“Mac never met an aircraft he couldn’t tease into a better performance. They gave him a medal because our crash revealed a fatal flaw in the engine. He knew there was something wrong and he wouldn’t let it go, even though he disobeyed orders.”
“I saw the medal.” Adele glanced at Mac’s frozen expression. What was wrong with him?
“I egged him on. Faster, higher, more. We were quite a pair and we both paid for our foolhardiness.” Dave motioned to his wheelchair. “But we survived. Must have been because God had something else in mind for us.”
Adele wasn’t sure what he meant. Mac had always dodged questions about the accident. He’d spoken often about struggling to figure out God’s plan. She studied him now and saw anger filling his face.
“I haven’t paid nearly enough,” Mac grated.
“You returned to that ranch you used to talk about all the time. Going home’s good. Helping foster kids is even better.” Dave’s gentle tone surprised Adele. “Our center is part of the riding program at the Double M ranch.”
“Mac’s ranch? I didn’t know that.” Adele couldn’t wrap her mind around it.
“We’ve sent several kids there.” Dave kept a bead on Mac. “Eddie’s the one who’s gone through the biggest change. Because of the interest you took in him. You cared enough to question his bruises and now that nervous, uncertain, scared little kid is out of his abusive foster home. You teaching him to ride gave him confidence, Mac.”
“That’s exactly what my aunts hoped for when they came up with the refuge idea for The Haven.” Worried when the two men kept staring at each other, Adele explained about her foster aunts, The Haven and their new program for foster youth.
“So when Dave was sending kids to the riding program, he was sending them to where you live now, Adele?” Gina’s eyes twinkled. “I want to hear more. And I want to meet whomever that is in reception, giggling.”
“My kids.” Adele soaked in the sight of her beloved sister, now within arm’s reach. “When you decided to stay, why didn’t you let me know you’d come back, Gina?”
“I had no idea where you were. I went to see both Mom and Dad a couple of times. But they’re both drinking heavily and neither one was very coherent. Nobody at social services would answer my questions.”
“Been there,” Adele muttered.
“I’ve been praying to find you for ages. Then Dave had this idea to contact an old buddy of his who’s now a private investigator. We thought he could suggest—”
“That’s what I did,” Mac blurted.
When he glanced at her Adele’s skin prickled. Warning bells rang in her brain and they didn’t sound like Christmas.
“I contacted Archie. He suggested running an ad in the paper to ask for information. I did and it directed me here. But they kept saying Gina Parker wasn’t here.”
“Oh, that explains it.” Gina chuckled. “Tracy told me someone had called last week asking about a Gina.”
“Last week?” Ice crawled up Adele’s spine. “You knew last week that my sister might be here, and you didn’t tell me then?”
“I didn’t know she was here.” But Mac’s face flushed a dark incriminating red. “They said three times that there was no Gina Parker here,” he reminded but Adele was furious.
“You didn’t think that I’d want to know that? You didn’t think I’d want to check for myself to see if maybe the sister I’ve been searching for as long as you’ve known me might be here?” she said clearly, enunciating every word. “I thought you were my friend, Mac. I thought you cared about me.” Betrayal made those words a mockery. “Clearly I was wrong.”
* * *
On a flight school rotation in England Mac had learned a new word—gobsmacked. It applied to Delly now. Her smile, her happiness, the joy he’d seen just an hour earlier—it had all vanished. Now she stared at him as if she had no idea who he was.
Everything Mac had feared was happening. Once again, he’d acted on a hunch, on instinct. Once again, he’d blown it.
“You lied to me, Mac.” Adele glared at him with loathing.
“I didn’t lie,” he corrected.
“Well, you sure didn’t tell the whole truth.”
“I didn’t want to disappoint you in case it wasn’t your Gina,” he muttered but Adele wasn’t buying.
“You didn’t want to tell me because—” Adele stopped. Then her eyes widened. “Because you knew Dave was here.” She shot him a look of pure disgust before turning her back. “Come on, Gina, I’ll introduce you to my kids.” She pulled her sister toward the reception area where Francie and Franklyn waited.
Mac sagged. Delly hated him. And he loved her. How many mistakes could a guy make?
“You okay?” Dave frowned at him.
“No.” Mac shoved Delly’s reaction away and focused on Dave. “Why are you here?”
“I came after rehab. I was training to be a kids’ counselor, but I couldn’t afford the tuition. So I chucked it all and joined the military.”
“I remember you told me you wanted to be a counselor, but—it was too expensive?” Mac thought a minute. “That’s why you enlisted.”
“Thought that dream was dead. Turns out it isn’t. I only need to complete a practicum to finish my degree. Gina’s helping me get that.” Dave shrugged. “I love working with the kids who come here. They don’t care that I’m in this chair, so neither do I. We’ve all got disabilities. It’s just that sometimes they’re hidden.”
“Like mine. I was a coward. I can’t apologize enough, Dave. I owed you better.”
“There was a time when I wanted your apology,” Dave murmured. “But now it doesn’t matter.”
That hurt. But running away wasn’t an option. Whatever it cost Mac, he was going to see this through. “I’m sorry.”
“I’m not. I’m glad you came.” Dave rolled his chair closer, his voice quiet and very serious. “I’ve been wanting to talk to you since the accident, but I thought maybe you needed some space. I’m sorry you lost your hand.”
“How can you say that?” Mac demanded, eaten up with guilt. “You’re in that chair because of me. Me and my hunches—I’m to blame for the accident that crippled you. Why don’t you thank me for that?” he said harshly.
“Mac, that isn’t all—”
“I was so sure there was something wrong with that aircraft. I had to disobey, push it further, higher, faster than we were supposed to. I would have done anything to prove I was right. What a fool I was!”
“But a lot of good’s come out of you pushing. More than you know.” Dave sighed at his disbelief. “You never read my emails, did you?” When Mac shook his head, his friend frowned. “I wish you had. Our CO must have left you phone messages.”
“Several. I erased them without listening.” Mac shrugged at Dave’s gasp. “I took enough of a dressing-down when I was active. I don’t want to hear it again. Ever.”
“What that crash revealed is why they awarded you a medal.”
“Wrongly awarded and I’m giving it back. I don’t deserve it. Meritorious Service Cross,” Mac snapped in disgust. “My least meritorious service was that I broke the rules and that cost you your legs. They should have given you the medal.”
“I wasn’t the one pushing to figure out the engine problem,” Dave said quietly. “That was your bugaboo. I just had to live
with your nagging for months.”
“Until I went too far. And look what it cost.” Mac had never felt worse in his life. “I know it doesn’t help, will never make anything better, but I am so sorry, Dave. I should have said that to you months ago. I apologize for what I did to you.”
“Mac, I am exactly where I’m supposed to be.”
“Huh?”
“You and I are very small cogs in God’s sovereign plan.” Dave pointed to a nearby chair. “Sit down, buddy. You and I need to talk.”
There was nothing Mac wanted less. He didn’t want to look at Dave’s useless legs or the many scars on his arms. He sure didn’t want to remember his buddy’s screams of agony as the fire exploded around him, or the way he’d begged Mac to help him die. What Mac wanted was the black unconsciousness that had overcome him on that terrible day.
But he owed it to Dave to at least listen.
“If our plane hadn’t crashed, I doubt I’d have come here or pursued my degree.” His former copilot leaned back. “I’d never have realized that my work, my past and my experiences could help troubled kids, desperate kids.”
“You’re trying to make me feel better about my stupidity, just like you used to. Don’t bother. I know I’ve been a jerk.” In a horrible, draining way, it felt good to finally admit the truth. Mac wished he’d apologized to Dave months ago. Instead he’d grabbed at the military’s offer of an out because of his lost hand.
“But—”
“They would have found the flaw eventually, Dave. I shouldn’t have tried that last acceleration. I should have left it to someone else. I wish I could change things but—”
“Will you please shut up?”
Surprised, Mac jerked his head up to frown at his buddy.
“You haven’t changed much, Mac.” Dave grinned.
“Huh?” Mac didn’t get it. He’d cut off all ties with his old military friends because he hated that most of the old group thought of him as a crack ace pilot, worthy of admiration. He didn’t deserve that honor. “Why would I have changed?”
“I kinda hoped you’d learned that God uses everything that happens to us for good.”
