Lions, like the McGuires, lived in prides. One male for all the females. The boys of a generation would fight for who got the pride. Older and less worthy males lived alone until they encountered a pride they could take over. I vowed to stay far away from the McGuires.
Sometime in mid-April, I coordinated with Clara Johnson to get my stuff out of Sig’s apartment storage and shipped to camp. She was so kind to ship it all for me, and Art was even kinder to let me store it all with the WAZ archives.
I was a bit annoyed to realize that Sig had been digging through my books. Probably to make sure I hadn’t taken any of his. I re-sealed my boxes and went about my days.
By the end of April I’d grown to love the familiar ache of sore muscles as I roused myself from my small camp bed and stretched my arms over my head. The bitter chill in the air still nipped at my nose but promised Spring would be close. I still hadn’t used the space heater, but I was down to three wool blankets instead of four. I winced at the tightness in my shoulders as I pulled my base layer over my head and buttoned up my flannel shirt.
It was going to be a good day, I had the entire evening and the whole next day off. I’d been debating if I would rent a camp car and go into town, maybe get a restaurant cooked dinner, with humans, or find a bookstore.
I wanted to do something special. It was my last day off before the busy season would officially start.
I descended the stairs well before the AVC would open for breakfast. I took the opportunity to start my work early, the sooner I was done today, the sooner I could go explore. I checked my emails, printing the confirmations from air and bus lines and deleting the spam emails as I went. I forwarded inquiries that Art or Linde needed to answer. I was about to head to breakfast when the phone rang.
“Wilderness Adventure Zone, Souli speaking, how can I help you today?” I answered in my automatic and cheerful customer service voice.
I heard a soft chuckle on the other end of the line, “Souli?”
“Um, yes, what can I do for you today?” I asked. The voice sounded familiar but I couldn’t place it. I’d been on the phone with so many alphas over the past month I couldn’t keep track.
“It’s me, Sig.”
I almost dropped the phone.
“... you still there?” he asked.
“What can I do for you today?” I asked, returning to my customer service voice. I couldn’t let this take me. I couldn’t let this distract me from my job.
“Souli, can we talk?” he asked. His voice was warm velvet honey and it wrapped around me like a familiar blanket, “I miss you.”
He missed me. I craved his familiarity. I missed his laugh. I wanted to talk to him, he’d been my best friend long before we started dating and before coming to WAZ, I’d felt his loss acutely.
But he’d lied to me.
He hid his whole life from me.
For five years.
“I’m working,” I snipped, “Are you calling for the Wilderness Adventure of a lifetime?”
“I understand,” he said, “Okay, well, I am calling for that too. It’s good to hear your voice.”
“Do you have a reservation number?” I asked.
“Richard needs to confirm the number of cabins for the pack trip in May,” Sig said.
“Pack name?”
“Guardinnea.”
“Right of course, because the whole town is made up of shifters,” I muttered under my breath. I pulled up the reservation. It was one that had been entered before I started. I rattled off the information for Sig to confirm. Number of members, cabins, and group activities.
“Yup, that sounds good,” he said when I finished.
“Anything else I can do for you today?” I asked.
“Can we talk?” he asked.
“There’s nothing to say, Sig.”
“I’m dying here without you, Souli. Every day since you left has been miserable. I feel like I lost a part of my soul,” he said. I could hear him pacing on the other end of the line. I could picture him walking in our-his apartment. Six steps toward the couch, spin, six step toward the tv, turn, six steps toward the couch and back and forth.
When his mother was sick, I watched him on the phone with his sisters for hours walking that same path, forward and back. He only paced when he was really stressed. When he was scared.
“I have to work,” I said, “Is there anything Wilderness Adventure Zone related I can help you with?”
“N...no, but-”
“Have a great day,” I said ready to hang up.
“I’m a shifter, Souli, I turn into a black bear a few nights a week. I’m sorry that I wasn’t allowed to tell you,” he interjected before I could end the call, “Please don’t hold the laws of my culture against me. Please.”
I sagged into my chair, “I’m not going back to a man who lied to me for half a decade.”
“I don’t know how you managed to get over me so quickly,” his voice sounded sad, but the classic Sigmund Laine flirtation was there. The warm voice I fell in love with. The kind of voice that promised security and love. I hadn’t heard that tone in his voice in months, “I don’t think I’ll move on if I had lifetimes to do it.”
“Don’t act like the break up was my fault, Sig.”
“I wasn’t allowed to tell you, but now that you know, I want to show you everything,” his voice was a purr through the phone. Bringing back memories of our early flirtation and eventual romance.
“It’s too late, Sig.” This time, I didn’t hesitate to hang up the phone.
Why had he done that to me? Why now? Why call when I was just starting to get over the hurt. Now I was doubting everything I had been so confident about since leaving Guardinnea.
A knock on my window startled me out of my rapidly spiraling thoughts.
I hopped up to unlock my door, Amber leaned on the door jamb waiting for me to unlock it.
“Hey, saw your light was on, wondered if you wanted to,” her nostrils flared and her casual expression faded, “What happened?”
I waved her inside, “Please tell me you don’t smell my frustration.”
“I don’t need a super sniffer to small the angst coming off of you in waves,” she crossed the office and sat on the corner of my desk, “So... spill.”
Amber motioned for me to sit in my chair and I took my sweet time getting comfortable before I opened my mouth and spilled my guts.
“Sig called. Apparently his pack is coming to WAZ at the end of May,” I groaned. I ran my fingers through my hair, destroying the perfect braid I’d done just an hour earlier.
“Oooh ex-bearfriend problems. I take it the call didn’t go well?”
“I just don’t get it. I moved out over a month and a half ago. I didn’t hear one word from him when I was living with Mindy, I didn’t hear anything when I moved up here. Nothing. Now, when I’m starting to get the old Souli back, blammo he just calls like it’s no big deal.”
Amber rolled her wrist prompting me to continue.
“I miss you Souli,” I imitated Sig’s voice, “I wasn’t allowed to tell you, but now I can tell you everything. I want to show you everything.”
I looked at Amber, expecting her to jump in at some point with her clever commentary, but instead she nodded for me to continue.
“And there is a part of me that misses him. I mean, we were together for five years. I baked Christmas cookies with his mom. I hosted his sisters’ baby showers. I mean, there’s a lot of history there.”
“I sense a but coming.”
“But... he didn’t trust me. If I go back to him after five years of half-truths and careful omissions about a whole other creature living inside of him, I’m afraid that I’ll always doubt him.”
“What about a rebound? Do you need a guy to fuck you until you can’t remember the ex’s name?” Amber asked.
“Rebound? Where would I have found one of those? I’ve been here. Human Souli: Off Limits. Remember?” I told her, pointing
at Ebsen’s sign still taped to the back of my monitor, “Who am I going to rebound with?”
Amber’s eyes widened and she grinned, “That wasn’t a no Amber, I’m not into rebounds. Is that silly rule the only thing keeping you in your own bed at night?”
I had to think about it. Was it? Of all the men I worked with, many had given me lingering glances. I shut most down with a stern reminder that I was off limits.
“You had to think about it!” Amber giggled, “You totally want some shifter bone.”
“Gross,” I laughed, “I’m not really a one-night stand kind of girl though...”
Amber rolled her eyes, “Don’t get all puritanical human on me now. There is nothing wrong with getting your needs satisfied. And trust me, the guys here can satisfy.”
“Oh, and you know from experience?”
Amber grinned a wolfish-err fox like grin, “You know it. Want a list of recommendations? I can narrow it down if you tell me what you’re into. You seem like a girl who like to snuggle after, is that true?”
My face flushed. There was nothing wrong with liking a post coital cuddle. Amber took that as a yes and started rattling off names. Most of them I only recognized from the staff roster.
“Then of course, Ebsen,” she added, “He didn’t snuggle me, but I’ve heard he does it upon request.”
“He seems like the type,” I muttered. I don’t know why thinking about Ebsen cuddling other ladies on staff seemed to bother me. Maybe I needed to work more than just Sig out of my system.
“Just think about it, okay?” she asked, “I hate to see you wither away to nothing, because you feel the need to deprive yourself of the most basic of needs.”
“Okay, I’ll think about it,” I promised her, “Just… Can you keep this conversation between us? I really like this job and I’d hate to lose it because of rumors.”
“Don’t worry Soules, all your secrets are safe with me.”
After Amber left, I had to turn on a fan and open some windows. The spring chill was still present outside, but I needed fresh air. I could not be around shifters feeling the way I felt right now. They could smell way too much about me already.
Sunday’s in the office were usually very dull. Every other Sunday, this wasn’t a big deal. I spent my time getting organized for when packs started to arrive. It was a problem this week. I couldn’t focus on anything other than what Amber suggested.
Was I even capable of a rebound fling? No, not fling, rebound. Amber seemed to think so. And there wasn’t exactly a shortage of hot available men to choose from. But thinking it in terms like that made me feel gross, which only furthered the spiral of shame.
When’s the last time you let your hair down?
Amber’s question echoed through my mind as I shredded credit card slips. What about orgasm? Have you even given yourself one since being here? No. I hadn’t even done that. My cabin was in the center of camp and I was surrounded by super sniffers. I was too afraid they’d smell what was up to even try.
“Ugh,” I groaned, tossing the stack of to-be shredded paperwork aside.
I needed a plan.
Amber was right. It had been too long since I let my hair down and did something kind of crazy. Besides, how would I know if I was truly over Sig unless I got out and explored a little, right?
For me there was only one suitable choice in a foray into one night stand rebound fling adventures. The grizzly with a long list of satisfied coworkers and no repeat takers. I just needed to figure out how to ask him.
Chapter 9
Target now acquired, I just needed to figure out how to ask Ranger Ebsen to be my rebound. The majority of the WAZ staff were actively engaged in training all across the grounds. Most wouldn’t return until dinner, leaving me almost completely alone in the Village. That gave me several hours to practice my speech.
“Hey, Eb, wanna bang?” No, too forward.
“Hi Ebsen, I was wondering if that offer of um sex was um still on the table?” No, not confident enough.
“Yo, Ebby boy, wanna smash?” No, too Spring Break 2004.
I paced behind my desk trying out different ways to ask the same question. Why was this so hard? That’s what she said. Damn it Souli, not the time for jokes!
“Mister Ebsen, it has been brought to my attention that you have been complimented on your coital prowess in the past. Could I entreat upon you to... No, too formal.”
I needed to distract myself. I went over to the massive fireplace and built a fire how Ebsen had shown me. I stared at the crackling flames willing my body to calm down. It didn’t.
The whole day was painful, but thankfully, Sundays were slow for office traffic. I squirmed as I filed. I’d asked an imaginary Ebsen if he wanted to boink me more times and in more ways than I’d ever thought possible, but none of them seemed right.
“Ebsen, let’s fuck,” I muttered, “No, too crass.”
“I think that works just fine,” Amber said.
I jumped, I hadn’t heard her come in. Damn fox, so sneaky. She laughed when I turned to face her. The heat on my cheeks was only mostly from embarrassment.
“He’s not a complicated man, Souli,” Amber laughed, she pulled her backpack off her shoulders and dug around until she pulled out a bright red box, “But I figured you’d need these.”
I accepted the box from her and nearly dropped it. Condoms. Right. That’s a thing I did need.
“I know Ebsen has some, but whip out this, and he’ll know you’re serious,” she said tapping the box.
“Uh, thanks Amber,” I hurried and stashed the condom box in my backpack. It wasn’t a small box either. No, this one had 36 inside. Thirty-six. How much rebound sex was she expecting me to have?
“I’m on Ebsen’s trails this afternoon, want me to tell him about your plan?” she asked.
“No, oh god no!” I hissed, “If I’m going to do this, I’m going to ask him. Plus, if anyone found out what I was planning, the rumor mill would go crazy.”
“The rumor mill is always crazy. That’s just part of working here,” Amber reminded me, “If anything, you’ll feel more like us if we got to tease you the way we tease each other.”
“Don’t you have trails to clear?” I asked.
Amber winked at me, before turning to leave, “Ebsen loves it when you play with his hair during.”
I holed up in my office the rest of the day. I skipped lunch and by the time the dinner bell rang, I was too nervous to eat. Not that I dared being around super sniffers anyway.
I had a plan. I’d watch out the windows and when Ebsen left the AVC, I’d casually walk up to him and say, “Hey, Ebsen, if you’re interested, I’m interested,” and hope for the best. So it wasn’t the best plan. It’s not like I had an entire day to come up with it… oh wait.
“You’re missing dinner, didn’t see you at breakfast or lunch either” a familiar deep voice said from behind me. Ebsen. I jumped in surprise, squealing like a frightened cat. Ebsen watched me with amusement, “You doing’ alright there?”
I turned around and had to completely rethink my initial seduction plan. I’d been attracted to Ebsen from the start, and he had no qualms saying he wanted me in his bed. Better yet, he was a one and done kind of guy. I was sure I could convince him to help me out.
I stood tall, adjusted the hem of my shirt and turned to face him. Sure, I wasn’t a one night stand kind of girl, but maybe Ebsen could be discreet. Only one way to find out.
“I’ve got an itch. Are you still the guy to scratch it?”
Ebsen’s brown eyes widened, then narrowed quickly, “I thought you weren’t the itchy kind of girl.”
“I appear to have fallen in poison ivy,” I said, doing my best to not lead on just how desperate I was, “Now, I could go ask any of the guys in the AVC, but seeing as how you’re such a good friend.... I figured I’d offer it to you first. It’s my night off. I can just go into town and find a gu
y in a bar or even take care of it myself. ”
I heard a low growl in his throat, “My cabin, twenty minutes.”
I smirked, “You got condoms, or should I bring my own?”
“How many do you think we’ll need?” he asked a bit surprised.
“Poison. Ivy.” I repeated. His eyes widened and his jaw twitched as he struggled to suppress a grin.
“You know where my cabin is?” he purred. I nodded, it had been pointed out numerous times during my ATV training, “twenty minutes. If you’re not there, I’m hunting you down.”
Heat surged through me. I turned and ran up the stairs quickly packing an overnight bag. I tossed in the whole box of condoms. I put my radio and keys in my parka pocket and turned off all the lights. I did one last check of the fireplace before turning the out of office sign and locking the door.
I signed out an ATV, put my helmet on and drove the mile and a half trail to Ebsen’s cabin. He paced outside the door, just as impatient to start as I was. At least I wasn’t the only one worked up.
“I wasn’t sure you’d show,” he called out to me.
I turned off the engine, took off the helmet, and started unzipping my parka.
“What are you doing?”
“I don’t need my clothes to reek of Ebsen,” I shouted back, folding my coat and shoving it into my backpack pulling out the box of condoms. I unbuttoned my flannel shirt and pulled off my base layer.
“So you’re stripping in the middle of the woods?” he laughed.
“Like you’ve never seen a naked woman before,” I said, unbuttoning my pants.
“Not a naked human one,” he replied with a hungry smile.
I pulled my jeans down and had to sit on the ATV to get them over my shoes.
“What, not taking off your boots?” he taunted.
“If someone smells you on my socks, you’ll get more shit than I will,” I replied, standing before him in just my bra, underwear, and shoes. I grabbed the box of condoms, “You gonna scratch?”
Bearly Camping Page 6
