Solitude And Freedom (Solitude And Freedom #0.5)

by Toota Alqallaf

Inspired by the author, Jessica Sorensen.

  Prologue

  Tom Davis

  “Goodbye, Alisa, father,” I’m off to Chicago. I’m starting a new school. And hopefully a new life. I will have to be back but I need to leave London for a while. It’s not like I don’t love London, I do, I just need time.

  Adam, my cousin and best friend, is the only person I’m going to know there from my past. I would rather be going alone but he insisted on coming.

  School starts in two weeks. I don’t know what to expect. I keep imagining my new life without the burden of my past. Imagining things in my future are some of my efforts in trying to keep myself in thinking of a few things, like strangling Adam when he finally gets here. He’s always late. Always. He’s like a girl when it comes to the amount of time he takes getting ready. As I wait, Alisa keeps on sending me texts that are really annoying. I know it’s only because she cares, but I still can’t help getting annoyed at her. That’s what people do to me, especially ones with low standards, they annoy and irritate me. Ever since the incident.

  “Hey, man,” Adam interrupted my thoughts. “Are you alright? You look more pissed than usual.”

  “You are twenty minutes late.” Usually, around people we know, we would be talking with more sophistication, but right now I’m too pissed to care.

  “Its only twenty minutes,” I just decided to ignore him until they call us for first class. I start imagining again. Me, or a few of years older version of me, living alone in a beach house, in the quiet side of the beach, with no interruptions while doing anything I want. They call our flight and we are off. Away from a place that held a big part of my nightmares. Finally.

  Chapter 1

  Amelie Hankins

  2 weeks later

  School’s in an hour. Becky, my BFF, is picking me up, since I don’t have my license yet. I hope my parents buy me an actual decent car, though, if they buy me one. My parents are either over protective or like making my life a living hell, but I’m pretty sure it’s the latter. Ever since he left they would not stop criticizing me, especially my dad. I just always feel like a disappointment no matter how hard I try. Here I am, facing the consequences of being the only child in the house because they’re not here. Mom’s asleep and dad already left for work. Thank god, so I don’t have to see either of them. I thought as I descended down the stairs.

  Becky’s car horn was really soft but loud enough for me to hear it. She’s really punctual when it comes to boys. I locked the front door and left in time to hear her shout. “Hurry up already! I want to be their when all the new boys arrive.” I laughed at her enthusiasm. She’s dating, not exactly in a relationship, but still she would never reject a free ticket to watch boys, and I love her for it.

  As soon as I was seated, she put the car on race. I buckled up my seat belt and clutched the seat as if my life depended on it, but in this case I think it does. We soon parked and got down. I was dizzier than usual and was sure I was going to get a headache. “Jeez, thanks a lot becks, now I’m gonna get a headache from tha-“

  “Hello.” I was cut off by a sweet, but firm melodic English accent. I hate it when people cut me off, so I turned around to give him a piece of my mind, but instead stood there gawking at him with my jaw agape like an idiot. It was the most beautiful sight I have ever seen. It was like I was staring at an angel. His long hair was a dark shade of brown and his facial features perfect. His eyes, deeper and bluer than the ocean and were staring at me with a little sparkle in them. If I had a “type”, he would probably be it.

  “Uh, hi,” I finally blurted after being elbowed in the rib a couple of times by Becks. He himself was staring at me probably the same I was him. I smiled and his ocean coloured eyes seem to light up.

  “Uh, um, uhh,” he said still staring.

  “Hello, ladies,” a person who I hadn’t noticed standing behind the guy. His hair shorter than the first guy and a little darker, his eyes a deep ocean blue, too. Now, this is Becks “type”, I thought, unlike me she actually had a type, and glanced at her, she threw her most seductive and flirtatious grin at him. She’s really into the fairly sized guys with short hair. “I’m Adam and this is my cousin Tom.” He put his hand on the Tom’s shoulder while speaking. “Excuse him for interrupting your conversation, but we would like to know where the head master’s office is?” he asked politely.

  “Over there,” Becks said softly, pointing towards the office.

  “Thank you,” he smiled at Becks, a slight glimmer in his eyes, and dragged the guy whose name I think is Tom. I watched him leave until he was out of sight, still not believing my eyes, and until Becks nearly fainted because of how much she was squealing. Her straight blonde hair keeps flicking into her brown eyes but she doesn’t do anything about it. I just laughed at her and started my way to my locker when an arm went around my waist, I turned to find my blonde haired boyfriend.

  “Hey, sweetie, I knew you’d be here a little early today,” he’s cheesy, but I can’t really do anything about it. He gave me a small peck on the cheek and joined me to my locker, leaving Becks to walk silently behind us. I don’t like the way he does that but she never seems to mind especially when there are boys all around us.

  “Hi, Jay Jay,” that was my nickname for him.

  “Why haven’t you called all week? I missed you,”

  “Family stuff, you know how my parents are,” that was only half a lie.

  “Yea, I know,” he said unbelievingly and walked in silence to my locker, all while holding my hand possessively because of the new boys. Boys. I thought. I looked towards Becks locker to find her talking to a few cute guys, so I decided to let her be. I took my new schedule; I had double English lit., put a few books in and walked with Jay Jay to his locker. I saw he had biology then French, although I take biology it’s different from his. We talked to a few friends we haven’t seen since last year on our way. We walked in silence, again, but I noticed it wasn’t because of our little chat, he’s sensitive; it was to find him checking out girls and girls doing the same to him. I’m not jealous, I never have been and I have no idea why. He dropped me off at my class, kissed me and left to his class without another word. I sighed.

  As I was turning I slammed into someone’s rock hard chest and took a step back. I looked into the person’s face to see it was Tom, he seemed much calmer than when I saw him first, he snickered and entered the class, holding the door up for me to enter. I went straight to my place; the far corner of the room and to my surprise Tom came and sat in the seat directly beside me.

  Mr. Kirts, my English lit. Professor strutted into the class and started to take the attendances. When he got to Tom, I couldn’t help but notice his sir name, Davis. Where have I heard it?

  For most of class, I kept on glancing and sneaking peaks at Tom; I couldn’t help it. He caught me a few times, but the last time I snuck a look at him, he was staring directly at me. I was mortified; I could feel the heat of the blush on my cheeks. It’s a good thing I left my hair down today, so I made it a curtain in front of my face. I heard him chuckle lightly and I blushed again.

  I saw a paper slide onto my desk. It was from Tom. LIKE WHAT YOU SAW?

  Another wave of heat washed over my cheeks and I felt he was being arrogant and all superior. I reminded myself I was with Jay Jay, just so thoughts and doubts don’t creep into my mind. He snickered beside and I was saved by the bell.

  I rushed outside and kissed Jay Jay as soon as I saw him, to erase any doubts. He seemed a little surprised by this and for some unknown reason I smelt a really faint familiar rose scent coming from him. I eyed him over suspiciously.
Eh, whatever. I thought. He had a free class, so he said he was probably going to be in the football grounds until lunch break. He walked me to class, kissed me and left without saying another word, again. He was acting surreal but I let it slide because maybe something happened since it’s the first day.

  Becks was already in class when I strolled inside. I sat down in my usual seat and started to chat, but before we could get to anything Mrs. Harlen, my calculus teacher, walked in, smiling, followed by Tom and Adam. My face instantly fell when I realized they too were in calculus, too

  In around the middle of class I got a paper, which I thought was written by Tom, from Becks. HE IS A TOTAL SNOB AND A HYPOCRIT. BUT HIS FRIEND IS SWEET AND SEXY.

  I tossed her another paper: WHO?

  TOM. I TALKED TO HIM AND HIS COUSIN AGAIN AFTER YOU LEFT FOR CLASS. TURNS OUT I HAVE MOST OF MY CLASSES WITH ADAM, HIS FRIEND. She tossed a bigger paper from the same notebook.

  “Rebecca Welch and Amelie Hankins, if you are going to continue passing notes around I will have to personally escort you to the principal’s office.” Mrs. Harlen said in a loud voice.

  “Sorry.” We said in unison and started to laugh. I heard Tom snicker beside me and I turned to him and focused a glare at him. Me and Becks are never nice to snobs. For a brief second I thought I saw confusion on his face but he started to snicker again with a grin in place. The rest of the day went by swiftly with only a less than few passes by him, but the fact that he is in most of my classes, just like Adam is with Becks, gave me a feeling that he was going to be a pain, although he doesn’t talk as much as I do.

  Chapter 2

  Amelie

  Jay Jay and I are going on a double date tonight with Becks. We’re going to meet the boys at the restaurant. I’m ready and Becks is late, for the millionth time this week. She is picking me up, again. I sat there thinking about what happened that week, all the side comments Tom leaves between classes. He is seriously getting on my nerves. It’s a good thing it’s a weekend so I won’t need to see him until Monday, if I hear one of his side comments one more time I will either cut my ears off or I’ll have to kill him. I decided to stop thinking about Tom or I’ll ruin my mood.

  I’m wearing a short strapless plain dark blue dress that hangs mid thigh. My hair is pulled up on the middle of my head in a big, neat bun. My make-up is light, consisting of only mascara and colourless lip gloss. I never wear anything really fancy on dates; I leave the fancy things for special occasions since I don’t have enough of them. I haven’t shopped properly without watching out for money since before he left. He always used to say I don’t have enough clothes, so he takes me shopping and tells me to buy anything I want. I sometimes get doubtful about his money, if it’s enough for him let alone me but he never lets me ask twice if I asked. He loved me. My parents loved me. My life was whole. Then all of that crumbled by one damned disease and then a damned wedding.

  The ring of the door bell yanked me out of my still lingering thoughts. I got up from the couch of our living room not expecting anyone, it was Jay jay which surprised me. “He-.”

  “Who’s at the door? Amelie?” Mum called. My parents don’t call me Milly like everyone else anymore. It’s like them leaving was my fault.

  “Justin, mom.” She likes Jay Jay, it’s my dad who for some reason despises him. She came out of the living room and came straight to him, pulled him into an embrace like she hasn’t seen him a few days ago. She doesn’t even hug me and I’m her daughter. I tried my best not to get jealous about them hugging because I’ve been wishing for her to hug me for years but I couldn’t I missed them so much. I turned away so my eyes don’t start tearing up. After she left I turned back to Jay jay still confused why he’s here and not Becks. He would never change plans, especially at the last minute. In fact, he would always disagree with everyone if they tried.

  “Change of plans, we’re going on a group date,” he didn’t let me speak, it lookes like he’s in a rush to see someone, he snagged my elbow and led me to his blue sports car. He helped me into the passenger’s seat and went to the driver’s side.

  “So, who are we going with?” I asked over the music playing from the radio.

  “Uh, Becks and Benson, of course,” he said, eyeing the road. Benson is Beck’s boy friend, we’re going out to celebrate their one month anniversary. “Two new boys at school and their dates.” My heart stopped. Could he mean Tom and Adam? Haven’t I had enough of them all week? This was not the date I imagined. It’s probably going to end in a disaster with all Tom’s unnecessary jokes and side comments

  “Oh,” my lips stayed in an ‘O’ shape for a few more seconds. Jay jay started to tell me about the restaurant. It’s the new French vegan place around five minutes away from Becks’ parent’s place. She told me about it a few times, too.

  We finally got there, to find that everyone was already seated and looking at their menus. Becks talked to Tom a few times and she seemed nice. Weird. Becks is never friendly to snobs. Ever. Tom kept on looking around looking for someone. I wonder who he’s looking for. I walked in, his gaze fell on me and his trademark smirk made its appearance, I guess that’s who he’s waiting for. I pressed my lips together trying not to smile, looked around pretending I didn’t see him smiling at me and made my way over to the table with Jay jay when he walked in beside me. We got to the table and Benson made the introductions, “Tom, Adam this is Justin and Milly.”

  “I believe me and Amelie have already met.” Tom announced. He was wearing a white t-shirt that shows his chest and loose fitting jeans, his hair slicked towards the side, which makes him look good.

  For most of dinner, Tom was surprisingly… nice. He talked to me more often than his date and probably more than anyone, and also more often than my date talked to me. He kept asking me questions that I have to answer because that sexy accent makes it hard not to. Jay jay seemed occupied with Anna, giving her his undivided attention. Although sometimes in between conversations, he would often put his arm around me possessively, as if telling Tom I’m taken. Becks and Benson seemed to be happy about having another date together. They both seem to be really into each other but I still have a feeling he’s not the one for her yet. Dinner wasn’t as devastating as I thought it’d be. After eating our plates we all ordered dessert. Me and Tom each got a marshmallow and cream chocolate cake.

  I told Becks I was going to go sleep at her place for the weekend because I don’t want to sleep at home. We said our goodbyes and made my way into Jay jay’s car. Moments later, he stepped in and turned the key in the ignition. “What happened tonight?” he asked.

  “What do you mean?” I asked, baffled by his question since he was there basically all the time.

  “What do I mean?” he asked, incredulously. “Tom’s what I mean. He won’t take his eyes off you, I nearly got up and punched him, and you yourself didn’t look like you were going to stop him from talking. He wouldn’t stop talking and staring at you like that.”

  I laughed at him. “Jay jay, don’t worry about it, we’re only friends, to be honest we’re not even that, we’re just two people who know each other.” I explained to him, softly.

  “Yea, sure.”

  “Jaynormous,” I called him by the name I always called him by when we were kids.

  “Don’t.” he said firmly. He paused for a while. “He doesn’t like you,” he stated

  “What is that supposed to mean?” I was getting pissed now.

  “Nothing, it’s not worth the fight.”

  “You bet it’s not.”

  I could see the outline of his firm expression. He was clearly irritable. And jealous for reasons I can’t comprehend. It was like he was telling me that no guys can like me but him. What kind of boy friend is he? We finally arrive at my house. I got down and slammed the car door behind, to give him a hint that I was offended by his insinuation and I think he got it. I took a few steps and heard him shout, “love you, Milly,” with a slight laugh in his tone.

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nbsp; “Love you, too” I shouted back and laughed, that’s something we always do when we’re a little mad at each other. I went inside and heard him drive away just in time to see my mom pop out of the kitchen. She’s a housewife, so most of the time she’s at home, unless of course she went to her ‘friends’ house. “Hi, mom.” I said cautiously.

  “Hi, are you going to Becky’s tonight? Because if you are a friend of mine wants to come over and dad’s at the hospital for the weekend.” And then there’s the reason she came out of there as soon as I walked in.

  “Yea, I’m going for the rest of the weekend, too.” I told her and made my way upstairs. Mom’s ‘friend’ always seems to be coming over. I know it’s not her ‘friend’. She’s cheating on my dad and is a professional liar, to him anyway. Though, it’s not like he’s any different. They’re always cheating on each other, I found out about my mom last year a few months after my birthday. My dad, well, he’s been doing it for quite a while.

  I changed from my dress into some jean shorts and my ‘let’s rock’ black t-shirt, took my ipod and the backpack I always carry around. I walked thinking. I’m starting to think that I always over think things, like over thinking.

  I sat down on my favourite spot, a bush in the far end of the park. I lay down to think and look at the stars shining above. The stars. Natural beauty that nothing and no one can change. There’s something about them and the darkness that puts me in a state of contentment, like a mystery or a hidden secret nobody but them knows about and when I stare at them it’s like I’m up there trying to figure out what’s hidden behind the light. The stars shine and tell everything the light of day cannot but also hides things the light of day does not. It’s like all the stars are the good in the evil night sky. I’m not a fan of light or bright things, but I can never deny the beauty and inspiration they give me.

  The park is pretty much empty, exactly how I like it. All the trash cans have been cleaned so it’s going to be like this for the next few hours. My thoughts drifted back to tonight’s events, also kind of linking them to the stars a little bit, when I heard a twig break and leaves crunch. I jumped to see a tall black hooded figure. It took the hood and yanked it down his head. “Amelie?’