“I rode one of the dolphins.”
“Yeah,” Marquez said awkwardly, “I can see how that would be pretty cool.”
“We’re late already,” Stacy’s sister said, checking her watch. “See you next week, Diana.”
Diana gave Stacy a hug. “Take care of yourself, promise?”
“Yep.” Stacy glanced at Marquez. “See you,” she said.
“Yeah,” Marquez replied. “See you.”
Diana wrung out her hair. “I’ll just be a few more minutes.”
Marquez nodded, watching as the door closed behind Stacy and her sister.
“Is she going to be okay?”
“I don’t know. Maybe. She’s tougher than she looks.”
Diana returned to the pool area, and Marquez went back outside. The heat felt good on her face. She watched an old Honda circle the parking lot. It passed her on the way out.
Stacy was sitting on the passenger side. She was looking at Marquez. She waved, and Marquez waved back.
Stacy smiled as if they were old friends.
As if they shared a secret.
21
Reaching Out
For the third time Diver rewound the tape.
Summer stood next to him on the deck of the stilt house, waiting, hoping. Her face was flushed.
Diver fast-forwarded, then pushed the play button. Caroline’s muffled laughter filled the air.
Truth is, I saw that boy run back into the fire three, four times easy, trying to save his no-good daddy, lord knows why.
Diver closed his eyes and he was there again, in that place the dream always made him go.
He could see himself running through the inferno. He could see his father lying under a burning support beam, his clothes on fire, his hair, his skin.
He could hear the screams.
Diver reached for his father’s hand. He pulled, trying like he’d never tried for anything in his life.
There was nothing he could do. Nothing.
The sirens were coming. The fire was roaring like a thing alive.
There was nothing more Diver could do, except, just maybe, save himself.
He opened his eyes. The sun made diamonds of the waves.
In his dream there was always a hand, familiar and yet not, reaching out to him. There was always an old, rickety house, floating over a blue, endless ocean.
There was always hope.
Summer held out her hand. “It’s going to be okay, Diver.”
He took her hand, wiped away a tear, smiled a little. “You did all this for me. Why?”
“I don’t know. I guess because it hurt to see you hurting.” She shrugged. “And because you’re my brother, Diver.”
“I don’t know what to do now.”
“We’ll go back to Virginia. We have the tape. We’ll clear the whole mess up. Maybe Dad and Mom can meet us. It’ll be fine. You’ll see.”
“I can’t ask them to do that. Not after everything I’ve already put them through.”
“What about all you’ve been through?”
Diver shrugged. “Not so much, really.”
“I don’t know…” Summer paused, frowning with concentration, as if she were searching for the very last word in a crossword puzzle. “I don’t know if I’d be as kind as you are, Diver. If I’d gone through all you have, I mean. That’s something I’ve had to realize this summer. I’m not very good at forgiving people. I sure haven’t been very good at forgiving you.”
He smiled. “Maybe I don’t deserve it.”
“Or maybe I needed someone to be mad at. Maybe I needed a reason for the divorce to have happened. That way, it kind of made sense. I didn’t want to think that a relationship could just end for no reason.”
Diver watched as Frank swooped past, searching for an afternoon snack. His life was so simple. Eat, sleep in the sun, survive. Sometimes Diver wished his life could be like that.
He looked at Summer, at his sister who’d loved him enough to help him. Enough to forgive him.
Sometimes he was glad his life was so complicated.
“I don’t think relationships just end for no reason,” Diver said. “Sometimes it’s too complicated for us to understand. All these interconnected things have to be just right before you can have love. That’s why it’s so amazing when it happens. Maybe it shouldn’t be so surprising when it doesn’t last. Maybe we should just be astounded that it happens at all.”
Summer nodded. “I’m sorry I blamed you for the divorce,” she said. “I was wrong.”
“I’m sorry I let you down.”
“You didn’t. I let myself down.”
Summer laid her head on Diver’s shoulder. They stared out at the water, bluer than the sky and just as endless. Frank scooped a fish into his massive beak and returned to the deck, preening and strutting just a bit to show he hadn’t lost his touch.
Diver took a deep breath. “I’m afraid,” he whispered. “I don’t think I have the courage to go see her.”
“Marquez loves you, Diver. All she wants is to have you back.”
“But I ran out, I hurt her—”
“That doesn’t matter. She’ll understand.” Summer grinned. “She’s quicker at forgiving than I am.”
Diver gave her a dubious look.
“Well, okay, she gets madder up front, but she gets over it faster.” Summer pulled on his hand. “Come on. You can’t hide here forever.”
“No, I guess not.”
They walked to Coconut Key together, savoring the sun, saying little. Diver tried to plan what he would say to Marquez, but he wasn’t much for speeches, and besides, what could he really say except “I’m sorry”?
As if that would be enough.
When they climbed the stairs to the girls’ apartment, his heart quickened. He grabbed Summer’s arm. “I’m not ready. I can’t, not yet.”
“Diver, you have to. She needs you.”
Before he could protest, Summer unlocked the door. Diana was lying on the couch. The TV was on. She sat up in surprise and clicked the remote control.
“Is Marquez here?” Summer asked.
“What happened?” Diana asked. “Diver, I thought you were at the stilt house—”
“It’s okay,” Diver said. “Summer worked things out. With a little help from your tape recorder.”
“That’s great news.” Diana smiled. “Really great. Look, Marquez isn’t here. I think she’s scheduled to work tonight, though.”
“Do you know where she is?” Summer asked.
“I don’t think I’m supposed to know.” Diana seemed uncomfortable. “I overheard her making a call when we got back from the Institute this afternoon. She was talking to the Eating Disorders Clinic at the hospital. I think maybe she went over there. I didn’t want to push it by asking.”
Summer looked at Diver. “You want company? I’ll walk you over to the hospital.”
“I think I can take it from here,” Diver said. He kissed Summer on the cheek. “Thank you. For everything. You too, Diana. I owe you both.” He paused in the doorway. “It’s too bad you two hate each other. You make a pretty great team.”
He got off on the wrong floor at the hospital and took two wrong turns before he found the Eating Disorders Clinic. The waiting area was empty. Diver took a seat, thumbed through a worn People, paced awhile.
He was so proud of Marquez for coming here, especially in the middle of the mess he’d created. How was he ever going to tell her that?
The clinic door opened. He saw a girl, too thin, too beautiful.
Marquez. Her back was to him.
How was he ever going to make her believe she could trust him not to leave again?
She was nodding, talking to a woman who was smiling. “Okay, then. I’ll see you next week,” Marquez said.
How was he ever going to make her believe how much he needed her? What kind of words were there for that?
She turned. The door closed. She looked past him, then back. Her mouth formed the wo
rd: Diver. She ran to him.
He took her in his arms and held her till she felt like a part of him. She was sobbing softly, and so was he.
He kissed her, again and again and again.
“I love you,” he whispered, and suddenly he realized he’d known what to say after all.
22
Diana Meets Up with Her Past, Summer Says Good-bye to Hers.
The next afternoon Diana made her way down the winding garden path at the rear of Jared’s home. Just as his nurse had said, Summer and Jared were sitting at the edge of the beach. Summer was on a bench, reading. Jared was in his wheelchair, staring out at the ocean.
Diana fingered the envelope from Carlson. Suddenly she regretted coming here. Yesterday, after all the stuff with Diver, it had almost seemed like she and Summer had reached a kind of uneasy truce. But if this was a rejection letter, Diana was going to look as if she’d come over to gloat.
Jared noticed her approaching even before Summer did. “Diana?” he said in that whispery, odd voice of his.
“I’m sorry to interrupt,” Diana said.
Summer turned and took off her sunglasses “What are you doing here? Is everything okay with Marquez and Diver?”
Diana laughed. “Are you kidding? I’ve barely seen them since Diver caught up with her at the hospital yesterday. This morning she was floating around the apartment like she was filled with helium.” She held out the envelope. “This just came in the mail. I thought you might want to see it.”
Summer took the envelope and read the return address. “It’s too thin,” she said flatly. “It’s a rejection.”
“They accepted you once, Summer,” Diana pointed out. “If they reject you now, it’s just because you reapplied too late and they were already full.”
Summer stared warily at the envelope as if it contained plutonium.
“Well—” Diana took a step back. “I guess I should get going. Oh, we got the phone bill too. Your share’s twenty-one bucks and some change.” She smiled. “Good luck.”
“Thanks for bringing this by,” Summer said, not sounding altogether sure she meant it.
“Neither rain nor sleet nor heat nor gloom of night,” Diana said. “See you, Jared.”
“See you.” He was gazing at her out of those penetrating dark eyes again. It was very unnerving.
“And Diana?” Summer said. “Thanks for helping with Diver.”
“He means a lot to me too, Summer.”
“Wait,” Summer said. “You might as well stick around. You’ll hear soon enough, one way or the other.” She tore open the envelope. “Here goes nothing.”
She pulled out the letter and scanned to the bottom. “Idiots,” she muttered darkly. Suddenly she broke into a huge grin. “They’re actually letting me in!”
“Congratulations, Summer,” Diana said.
“Way to go.” Jared held out his hand and Summer clasped it in both of hers.
“I can’t believe it,” Summer said, glowing. “I really can’t believe it.” She passed the letter to Jared. “Read it, okay? To be sure I’m not hallucinating.”
Diana started to leave, then hesitated. She should have been thinking about other things, about how this meant Summer was staying in the Keys, or how upset Seth was going to be when he heard the news.
But something else was troubling her. Jared was holding Summer’s acceptance letter in his uninjured hand. A heavy gold ring glittered on his finger, a lion’s head carved onto either side of a deep blue stone.
There was something familiar about that ring. It was very striking. Expensive, unique.
She’d seen a ring like that once before. On the finger of Adam’s brother, Ross.
Summer looked over at her. “You okay, Diana? You look like you just saw a ghost.”
“Something like that,” Diana said softly as she started down the path.
The Carlson campus was quiet, softened by late afternoon shadows. Summer walked the grounds, taking in trees and statues and buildings as if she owned each and every one. The initial high of being reaccepted had worn off, replaced by a tingling, edgy nervousness that was part anticipation, part dread.
It was like diving into a lake without knowing how deep it was. Sure, the admissions people had decided she could handle this school. Her high school teachers had told her she could handle it. But part of her was still convinced she was being set up for an elaborate practical joke. She’d show up for class the first day, laden with heavy textbooks, only to have the entire college leap up in unison and yell, “April Fools!”
The University of Wisconsin, with all her friends—and with Seth—seemed like such a comforting choice now that she’d sealed her fate and decided against it. She would have felt secure there, safe. Here she was going to feel utterly and completely alone.
She went back to the car, which Marquez had lent her, and waited for Seth. She’d asked him to meet her here. She wasn’t sure why. It seemed like the right place to say what she had to say.
A few minutes later he parked alongside her, smiling shyly. She led him to a bench beside a shimmering fountain.
“So,” he said, “everything’s going to be okay with Diver?”
“I think so. I talked to my dad last night and he’s making some calls. And Diver called me right before I drove over here. He confronted Caroline today with that tape I made. I don’t exactly know what he said to her. But I do know I haven’t heard him laugh so much in a long time.”
Seth dipped his hand in the fountain pool. “That’s cool. I’m really glad. Diver’s a good guy. Man, he’s been through a lot.”
Summer nodded. The fountain whispered, filling the air with the musical sound of first rain.
“I was wondering why you wanted to meet here,” Seth said. “But then it clicked. You got reaccepted, didn’t you?”
“Yeah. I just got the letter.”
“And you’re definitely going to go here? UW’s out of the picture?”
“I’m going to try it for a semester, anyway. I have to try, Seth, or I’ll always regret it.”
Seth nodded, his expression stony.
“It’s like your internship, Seth. You really should go back to California, finish it up.”
“I know. I guess I was just…waiting. In case.”
“I’ve been thinking a lot about us. About all the mess this summer, Austin and Diana and you and me. I realized when I was trying to help Diver that I’m not very good at forgiving people. What happened between you and Diana, it really hurt me, and I couldn’t see past that to the fact that I’d hurt you too. I couldn’t forgive you any better than I could forgive Diver.”
“There’s plenty of guilt to go around,” Seth said with a grim smile.
“I think I’m ready to forgive you, Seth. I think I can even start to forgive myself for messing things up so badly.”
Seth reached for her hand. “Then you want to get back—”
“No,” she said gently. “When I got past the anger and the forgiving, I realized something else. I’ve changed this summer, Seth. I’ve started to see how complicated life is. My parents divorcing. Diver’s problems. You, Austin, Diana. All the stuff with Marquez. I mean, I thought all I’d do this summer was get some minimum wage job and perfect my tan. But it’s ended up being a little more work than that.”
“So what are you saying?” Seth tightened his grip on her fingers.
“I’m saying that if life’s going to keep being so damn complicated, I want some time to get my head on straight. I want to concentrate on school. And on knowing I can count on myself to get through the tough stuff.” She looked away, fighting tears. “I don’t want to have to devote all my energy to trying to fix us, Seth. The truth is, I think we’re past the point of fixing.”
He released his grip. “Okay. Okay, then. I hear you.”
“Diver said something to me, about how it’s amazing love ever happens at all. Think about it. Two people have to get their brains and their hearts and…other elements of thei
r anatomy…all in sync. And then the circumstances of their lives have to be in sync too.” Summer sighed. “It seems to me we got the first part right, but the timing on that second part, the other stuff in our lives, isn’t quite on track.”
“This is because of Austin, isn’t it?”
“I do love Austin, Seth. Just like I think some part of you, whether you’ll admit or not, is in love with Diana. But that’s not what this is about. It’s not about Austin. It’s about me. I know that seems selfish. But if I’m not sure of who I am and how strong I am, how can I ever really be someone you can trust and love?”
Seth kissed her, an achingly soft kiss that made her wish, for just a moment, that she could take back everything she’d said. “I’ll always love you, Summer. And I’ll always trust you. But I think I understand why you have to do this. Just be sure you understand one thing.”
“What’s that?”
“I will always be there for you. I don’t care if I’m in Wisconsin and you’re in the Keys. I don’t care if I’m on Mars and you’re on Venus. It doesn’t matter. I’ll always be there.”
He touched Summer’s cheek. He gave a small, sad smile. And then Seth walked out of her life forever.
23
The Pretenders
When Diana found him the next morning, he was in the bus station, duffel bag at his feet, dozing lightly.
“Seth,” she said. She took the seat beside him.
He opened his eyes. “How’d you—”
“Summer told Marquez what went on between you two yesterday. I wormed it out of Marquez, then I called your grandfather this morning.”
Seth rubbed his eyes. Outside, a Greyhound belched black smoke. A line of passengers was forming.
“I’m glad you’re going back,” Diana said. “It would have been a shame to blow off the internship.”
He shrugged. “I didn’t want the whole summer to be a loss. Although it sure hasn’t turned out like I’d planned.”
“Me either.” Diana smiled. “Not even close.”
“I thought about calling you to say good-bye. But I figured you’d take it the wrong way.”
Tan Lines: Sand, Surf, and Secrets / Rays, Romance, and Rivalry / Beaches, Boys, and Betrayal Page 32
