by Jen YatesNZ
‘A good marriage for Holly?’
‘You think Brisco wouldn’t have married her if he’d known her true pedigree?’
‘She would never have met Brisco if she’d remained with her real mother.’
‘Perhaps. But my dilemma now is I have to tell her and I’ve no idea how she’ll handle it. No doubt, she’ll blame herself for Papa’s death. She seems so fragile sometimes.’
Leaning towards the fire again, he propped his elbows on his knees and cradled his head on his hands. Jane had never seen this side of Hades. She knew he cared about his sister, but she’d never realized to what extent—never realized he was capable of such depth of feeling.
Did he have any idea what he’d revealed to her; or that she literally ached with the need to hold him, comfort him? She’d doubted anyone suspected the depth of his honorability or how deeply he buried it beneath the Great Bax image.
‘You’re easy to talk to, Angular Jane,’ he growled. ‘A fact I’m finding it damned difficult to deal with. I’m not used to talking to a woman I desire! Or desiring a woman I’m so comfortable talking to.’
His words set her heart racing and her body heating in a wickedly wanton way. You’re not a green girl, she silently admonished herself. You’re not going down that road, not with anyone, most especially not Hades Delacourte.
The more he revealed of his hidden self, the deeper she realized she could fall in love—with a man who would not fall back.
‘I think you’re wrong about Holly. She’s had to develop an emotional strength we can only imagine.—But I do think she deserves to know who she is. It should never have become your secret to carry, but it has, and I think it’s damaged your image of your father. You need to address that. Allow he was human, not the god you turned him into from your childhood perspective. No one is perfect. We can’t make the right decisions all the time—or see far enough into the future to be able to discern the consequences of those decisions.’
He held her gaze for several long seconds.
‘How did you become so wise? How did you change from that—annoying—plain-Jane into this—beautiful—wise—woman? I’m feeling deprived for not having watched that transformation.’
‘You wouldn’t have noticed it if you’d been watching!’ she said, hoping to lighten the moment.
‘I beg to differ. It would’ve been like watching a butterfly struggling from the chrysalis.’
They smiled at one another and Jane knew herself a fool to be delighted by his words.
‘Will you be there when I tell Holly?’
‘Yes.’
‘What about Brisco?’
‘I think you should leave that to Holly. Let her decide whether she wants to tell anyone else.’
He nodded. Though reluctant to break the mood, Jane rose to her feet.
‘I should look in on Lady Baxendene now, to lend substance to your fabrication. Then perhaps you’d walk me home again?’
‘Sure you wouldn’t prefer the footman?’
His slow smile turned corkscrews of need inside her. This Bax was undeniable. When he rose and opened his arms to her she couldn’t refuse, knew he needed the comfort and his asking for it was rare indeed.
Allowing him to fold her against his chest was easy and her arms rose naturally to circle the breadth of his shoulders.
‘I’m renaming you Serenity Jane,’ he murmured, cocking a quizzical eyebrow at her. ‘Who knew serenity could be addictive? That you would be addictive?’
His cheek against her forehead, his arms a warm circle of strength about her, Jane had never felt so comfortable or content.
Too comfortable, too content. He was addictive. She pulled away.
‘Lady Baxendene,’ she reminded him firmly and led the way out of the library.
***
The thoughts in his head were a crazed vortex and he devoutly wished he hadn’t promised to be a gentleman. Following Jane along the upper hallway and back down the stairs from his mother’s rooms was a temptation he didn’t need yet couldn’t eschew. The indentation of her waist and the lush curve of her hips begged for his caress. Her shoulder blades, partially exposed by the cut of her gown, tempted him to reach out, to taste.
He wanted her—here—now. But somehow, around Jane, being a gentleman was necessary.
Dammit! He needed a woman who would expect him to be very ungentlemanly indeed! His body was practically hopping with need.
Garnet, awaiting them in the front hall, assisted with cloaks and hats then held the door for them to exit.
‘Order the carriage for when I return, Garnet.’
‘Certainly, my Lord.’
Knowing his master’s erratic nocturnal habits, his butler’s expression never changed. Jane, however, was a different matter. He’d felt her body stiffen against his as he guided her down the steps.
‘At this time of night?’ she burst out. She all but stopped to confront him, no doubt concerned at dragging his staff from their beds. They knew the score. They’d signed on for it. Turning abruptly to continue down the steps, she said, ‘Sorry. None of my business.’
‘Ah, but it is your business, Angular Jane,’ he protested softly, leaning in by her ear and wishing he could see the color he knew would be flooding her cheeks. ‘You’re the repository of my secrets. You, more than anyone, know the problems besetting me and why it would be impossible for me to sleep. And since you insist I must be a gentleman I need to go somewhere I can be—less so.’
She tried to remove her hand from his arm, but he gripped it, holding her firmly to his side. Her mouth would be pursing in disapprobation of his scarcely veiled, indecent insinuation. Not very gentlemanly of him.
‘You’re annoyed at me,’ he accused softly when she continued in silence. ‘But truly, you should be pleased. My first choice would be to take you to my bed and drown out all thoughts in the pleasure your body could afford me. But I’m being a gentleman as promised —and I’m taking my fickle attentions elsewhere.’
In the Brisco’s hallway he kissed her fingers with the aplomb of a practiced gallant. What he really wanted was beyond anything accepted as remotely decent.
‘Will you let Holly know I’ll call after breakfast?’
‘Yes, my Lord.’
He almost sighed aloud at her formality.
‘And—you’ll join us—as promised?’
Her lips tightened as he’d imagined earlier.
‘Jane?’
‘I said I would,’ she said impatiently.
‘And what the devil do we do about Selena? I don’t imagine she’s yet acquired the town habit of late rising!’
Her head came up and she gave him the full benefit of her topaz glare.
‘Ideally—I could take her shopping.’
‘Ideally,’ he growled right back, ‘you’ll be with Holly.’
Her lips tightened again. Did she have no idea how that tempted him to loosen them?
‘Then I suggest,’ she said with asperity, ‘that you send for Selena to sit with Lady Baxendene while you visit with Holly.’
Snatching her fingers from his grasp, she stalked down the hall towards the salon from which he could still hear the guests chattering and someone, probably Selena, playing a pleasing tune on the pianoforte.
As he strode back towards Curzon Street he wondered what story she’d concoct for Holly about his mother’s health, but what bothered him more was the impression of pain he’d noted in Jane’s expressive whisky-gold eyes.
***
‘Just beat the curfew, my Lord,’ murmured Finch, Knightsborough’s butler, as he took Bax’s cloak and hat in the front hall of the Matrix Club.
‘Thankfully, Finch. I did wonder if the place’d be locked up before I got here. And I knew you’d not let me in after midnight, regardless how long and hard I knocked!’
‘Aye, my Lord. Them’s the rules.’
They were, one of several Knight had put in place for his own sanity. Thank God he’d made it in time. He need
ed a woman to turn off the turmoil in his mind.
Mandatory mask firmly in place, he crossed to the bar in a dim corner of the main salon and poured himself a brandy. Leaning back against the wall, he sipped absently and observed the room.
But all he saw was Mama telling him Holly was his father’s daughter, not hers; Ashdown declaring himself Mama’s lover; Jane—in his arms—
Jane. Her arrival in London had been the catalyst for a Pandora’s Box of shocks bombarding him these last few days.
Not to mention the bet he’d lost to Dom. It’d been an idiotic drunken plan to push his cousin into marriage, a direction the man had really needed to go, but he hadn’t thought the thing through! Now his damned cousin owned that bloody horse! The black pit was yawning at his feet, a familiar but hated place. Finding himself again after the darkness claimed him, was always a struggle.
A feisty woman, a bout at Jackson’s or Angelo’s, an enthralling poker game where he had to concentrate, or alcohol, all helped—usually.
When it became unmanageable he disappeared to the country—Bancombe Park or The Chase. The places were his war effort. Jason had given his life for his country while Bax had done what he could in providing retreats for those who, luckier than his brother, had returned. Though some might wish they hadn’t.
There was no alcohol, no women, only men who needed him to listen, or help them in some physical way they couldn’t help themselves. Or read to them. Sword play in wheelchairs or on crutches. Or he’d wander with one or other of them in tow, sketching. Or lose himself in painting in his studio at Bancombe. Bancombe was his country bolt-hole of choice. Never The Dene. Too many ghosts there.
He’d not slept there since Jason died.
Bancombe Park—or the Matrix Club. He was sure of finding Knight here. Sometimes Rogue and Wolf—though Rogue hadn’t darkened the doors since shortly after his marriage. Now Wolf was planning marriage, to the Divine Sheri no less, and Bax had a sneaky suspicion he wouldn’t be visiting the Club much from now on either. Everything was changing.
Did nothing stay the same?
How long had he been leaning against this bloody wall when there was a perfectly good chair in the ‘snug’ where his cousin habitually held court? Filling his glass again he carried it across the room.
Settling into the ‘snug’ he raised a salute to Knightsborough, a man of dark shadows. Shadows, Bax understood. And yet there was about his cousin a steady watchfulness, calm in a rough sea, compassion that put him in mind of Angular Jane. Knight was the only other person to know who really lived beneath the skin of the Great Bax. Rogue and Wolf might have caught glimpses over the years, but they’d been away many of those years, at war.
Knight knew. He’d played the father/big brother role for the young Bax when he’d first come to town. He was the one family member who knew about Bancombe Park and The Chase.
What would Jane make of the places, he wondered? Broken men, officers whose families preferred to keep them hidden away where they didn’t have to see or know of the degradation caused by war. In some cases it was the men themselves who wanted the seclusion and anonymity the places afforded them. They could do with someone like her there.
The Chase housed mainly able-bodied but mentally damaged men. Each was assigned a carer and most of the staff except for the facility managers, were returned common soldiers Bax had recruited from the streets, usually injured in some way but abjectly grateful for shelter and work.
‘You’re dashed boorish company,’ Knight growled when they were finally left at the table alone. ‘You’ve scarcely uttered a word since you arrived. Is there a purpose to your presence? Your brow is furrowed with cart tracks—as if you might be thinking? Not like you!’ Knight taunted him.
The bastard, saw too much.
Bax rubbed a hand down his face, dragging himself back from the dark place in his mind.
‘You’ve been steadily imbibing brandy since you arrived; haven’t even bothered to check out the female offerings!’
A grunt was all he could manage! Truth was, he hankered only for Jane. He’d be content with only her companionship.
What the devil had come over him?
Rising abruptly to his feet, he was surprised to discover his legs unsteady.
‘Sorry. Thanks for the company,’ he muttered.
Ignoring his cousin’s raised eyebrow he left in as surly a mood as he’d arrived.
Perhaps if he went to bed thinking about Jane, he’d sleep and not dream.
***
Jane was relieved to find the guests starting to take their leave when she returned from Baxendene House. In the bustle of farewells, allaying everyone’s concerns and convincing them Lady Baxendene was definitely on the mend, was easy.
Holly was not so easily gulled and Jane wasn’t surprised when a brief knock preceded her entrance dressed in a silk wrapper and with her soft golden hair flowing about her shoulders.
About to get into bed, Jane abandoned that plan, pulled on her own silk wrapper and pointed to the chairs in the window embrasure.
‘A midnight session? This calls for hot chocolate and cookies!’
Holly grinned. Many a night they’d slipped late into the kitchens at The Dene for those treats.
‘Shall I ring for some?’
Jane shook her head, curled her bare feet under her in the seat and wrapped her arms about her body.
‘So—how was Mama?’ Really?’
Closing her eyes didn’t dispel Holly’s presence—or the memory of how Lady Baxendene was—really.
‘She wasn’t ill at all, was she?’ Holly carried on. ‘Hades wanted an excuse to get away. He must’ve been so bored!’
‘I—yes—I guess.’
Holly reached out, laying a hand on Jane’s arm.
‘Is my brother trying to seduce you?—Oh!—Do you want me to speak to him?’
That thought made Jane smile. She couldn’t help it. The vision of fairy-Holly taking the Great Bax to task over his nefarious amatory adventures was comical.
‘D’you think he’d listen?’
After a heartbeat Holly let out a breathy squeal.
‘I knew it! That great lump can’t keep his eyes off you! Oh, Jane, I can think of no one I’d prefer as a sister-in-law!’
Jane almost leapt out of her seat. That was never going to happen. And that realization quickly settled into Holly’s sparkling green eyes, dimming their light.
‘Oh, if only my brother was seeking a wife!—But—you know, Jane, you could have an affair with him. You’re a widow. You could be discreet and no doubt you’ve learned how to prevent conception since you and James never had children. No one would think anything of it. And who knows what could—’
‘Stop! Enough!’
Jane pulled her arms tightly about her midriff in an effort to kill the terrible longing to do exactly as Holly suggested. But no matter the perfectly valid reasons Bax’s sister might toss at her, the idea was impossible.
Discreet? Knew how to prevent conception? Even to this dearest of friends she’d not admit the only way she knew to prevent conception was not to lie with a man in the first place!
‘I couldn’t do that! Could you? Have an affair, that is?’
Holly’s eyes went wide with horror at the thought.
‘You see? It’s not our style,’ Jane pressed. ‘We’re conventional souls, made for love and fidelity, commodities your brother doesn’t deal in.’
‘I still think—’ Holly began.
‘No!’ Jane all but snapped. ‘I’d fall in love with him. It’d be too easy. I’m not going down that road! Falling in love with a man like Hades would be foolish in the extreme.’
‘I believe making love with my brother can be—exciting,’ Holly murmured.
‘I’ve no doubt,’ Jane muttered, her cheeks burning. ‘But he’s not for me!’
Holly sighed wistfully.
‘I don’t believe he even keeps a mistress. Just—enjoys—then moves on!—Kind of lo
nely, I think,’ Holly ended with another soft sigh.
Jane said nothing. She’d had the love of a good man, though they’d not carried that into the bedroom.
‘I have a good life. I want for nothing. James made sure of that.’
‘Except some excitement!’ Holly exclaimed. ‘James turned you into his ‘Lady of the Manor’, frightfully proper—and a tad boring! You’re stagnating, Jane!’
Despite herself, Jane burst out laughing at Holly’s vehemence.
‘So now I know what you really think of me! And you’ve just described the perfect chaperone—which is what I’m here for!’
Holly sank back in her chair with a mischievous grin on her face reminding Jane so much of Bax. The likeness between brother and sister wasn’t obvious, but occasionally was unmistakable.
‘He asked me to tell you he’s going to call on you after breakfast.’
‘Whatever for?’
Jane fiddled with the ribbons on her wrapper. She’d never been any good at dissembling, especially with Holly, who knew her too well.
‘He has something he wants to talk to you about.’
‘Do you know what it is?’
She hesitated only briefly before admitting she did.
‘Is it about Mama? Is she really ill?’
‘No, it’s not. I really do believe Lady Baxendene will recover entirely, though it will likely take a while. Don’t tease. I won’t tell you—and I’d like to go to bed now.’
They’d never kept secrets from one another. But this was not her secret to tell—and Hades would reveal all in the morning anyway.
Holly pouted, as she’d done when they were younger and Jane found herself laughing again.
‘There is something going on between you and Hades, isn’t there?’ Holly needled slyly.
Holly had made up her mind and Jane knew from experience nothing would change it except the unfolding of events.
Chapter 7
‘The ladies are in the family parlor, my Lord.’
‘Thanks, Denby,’ Bax murmured absently as he strode down the back hall of Brisco House, tugging at his neck cloth to ease it a little. He wasn’t sure what was disturbing him most, the disclosure he meant to make to Holly or facing the censure he knew would be in Jane’s eyes this morning.
