by Barry Solway
“Can we lead the rats to the Order troops?” Mel asked. “While they’re dealing with the rats we can get to the endpoint.”
“Presumptuous person,” Simon said. “You assume we don’t get killed in the process.”
“Yeah, not getting killed is definitely a major part of my plan,” Mel said. “I can’t think of anything else though.”
“We can leave,” Simon said, putting his small hand on Mel’s leg. “I don’t think we can win this.”
“We can’t afford to. If we keep forfeiting gauntlets we’ll never get home. I can do this myself. Stay here in the tree and wait for me. You’ll see when I drop the goal and I’ll notify Evan. Be prepared to run back to the ship.”
Simon looked across the field. The Order soldiers were fanning out, but still hadn’t spied the rat things yet. That wouldn’t last long, but Mel couldn’t afford to wait. Simon glanced at Mel then shook his head.
“You’re too slow with your leg. I did say I wanted to be brave, didn’t I?” Simon handed Mel his glasses. “Hold these. I’ll lead the rats to the Order. You wait until it’s clear, then take the goal.”
“Dammit, Simon wait, I don’t think—” But Mel didn’t get to finish as Simon scampered out of the door and veered toward the tree the rats were gathered around.
Simon was halfway across the field when the soldiers spotted him. The Asadharan yelled at Simon, and the Chota soldiers formed a rough triangle and jogged his way. That meant they headed straight toward the endpoint, which wasn’t the idea. But a moment later they passed the endpoint and kept going toward Simon.
Evan, this is Mel. We’re going for the target now. We need a minute. Hold on.
Mel… hurry… Evan down. Mel thought it was Jon. They should end it. But Simon was so close. Another thirty seconds and they would win the game. Biting her lip, she silently urged Simon to run faster. He skirted to the edge of the mob of rats, then veered left to run toward the soldiers.
Jon, hold on. Thirty seconds.
The soldiers spotted the rats, even if they didn’t recognize the danger they were in. The Asadharan in charge yelled at Simon, but he ran at them, several hundred cyborg rats in pursuit.
When he was thirty yards away, the soldiers fired. Suddenly Mel was grateful it was Simon and not her. He ran like a large squirrel, on his hands and feet. He presented a much smaller target, and ran faster than Mel. Even so, the rats were closing in. The soldiers fired over Simon as he ran through their ranks, jumping nimbly over one soldier, the rats only ten yards behind.
It was time. Facing the rats, the solders began to realize what they were up against. Amid screams of panic, they retreated back to the ship. The gunfire inflicted heavy casualties among the rats, but the soldiers were outnumbered at least six to one.
Mel sprinted for the endpoint. The soldiers were to her right, over a hundred yards away. It was too late to worry about it now. She cursed at how slow she ran. Focusing on the endpoint, she ignored the screams of the soldiers and the rats.
A shot fired in her direction, sending up a spray of dirt in front of her. Diving behind the pedestal, she slammed the sphere into the base. A red flare launched skyward, indicating the game had been won. A second later, Simon popped over the edge of the pedestal.
Mel screamed. “Simon! God, you scared me!” She switched to her internal comm channel. Jon, we’ve got it. Call the ship! Call the ship! There was no response. Evan! Jon! Can you hear me?
“I’m not getting a response from the others,” Mel said to Simon.
“We have more immediate problems,” Simon said. Mel focused behind Simon to see the ground strewn with dead Chota. Ten ran back towards the ship. And dozens of surviving rats were now running toward her and Simon.
“Run, Simon!” She sprinted to the woods, Simon loping beside her. Jon, Evan, someone answer. We did it, we’ve won. We need the ship!
Where were the others? Had the rats gotten to them? If so, then she and Simon were surely dead, too. Suddenly, it struck Mel how stupid she’d been to try and get to the endpoint. And then she heard the dropship.
She would have cheered if she wasn’t already gasping for air. The dropship angled through the woods and hovered feet off the ground as they raced toward it. The large bay door swung open. Gem waited to grab Mel and Simon, and she could see Beats lying unmoving on the floor, his white fur matted pink with blood.
The rats were right behind them. As Mel jumped to grab Gem’s hand, a rat landed on her back and another on her right leg, tripping her. Manic chittering mixed with metallic grinding as pain lanced through her calf. She screamed, trying to crawl forward as the rat on her back sank a metal spike deep into her left shoulder.
Simon ran past Mel, but stopped and turned back. She tried to scramble to her good leg, waving him forward. “Don’t stop!” But it was too late. Six more rats swarmed Mel, and three attacked Simon.
Mel crushed a rat with her cybernetic hand. Ignoring the three rats chewing on her cybernetic leg, she swatted at the others in a flurry of panic. She imagined this was what falling into a wood-chipper would feel like. Gem jumped out of the dropship, crushing several rats as others jumped on her. Heaving Mel up in one arm, she threw her into the ship, then turned back for Simon. Mel lay on her side in a stupor of agony. Her left arm hung limply, pain burning in her left shoulder and lower leg. Pausing only a moment, Gem jumped into the dropship and signaled for Jon to take off. Gem cradled Simon’s body in one tentacle, a mound of torn fur and butchered flesh. Through a slowly darkening haze, Mel realized she still held Simon’s glasses in her left hand.
We won. Simon’s dead. We won. Simon’s dead. The thoughts played over in her mind, almost overwhelming the fire of her wounds. Because of me. Moaning, she looked down at her legs. Her eyes flew open in horror at the unrecognizable thing dangling below her left knee, then they rolled back into her head as she passed out.
Chapter 30
Mel leaned against the wall in the training room, sweat dripping down her face as she sipped a bottle of water. Three weeks since the last gauntlet, since everything had fallen apart, and it was happening again. She tried to breathe through it, through the hammering of her heart and the panic that twisted what was left of her stomach. When she looked down at her legs, all she could see was mangled flesh.
That wasn’t entirely true. She could see the loose pants that covered her new cybernetic legs. And the gap between the pants and boots where the metallic surface of the cybernetic parts peeked through. But there were times when she looked at her legs and another image was layered on top of her real body. The cybernetic right leg shredded from foot to hip, bent metal and wires sticking out in every direction. The flesh and bone of her left foot dangling sideways, attached only by a thin strand of tendon. The knee cap showing through torn skin.
She sucked in a deep breath, focusing on her legs. Gem had given her a mental exercise to do when this happened, to focus on what was real.
The floor is real. The wall behind me is real. The cloth of my leggings is real. The metal of my legs and arms are real. My heartbeat is real. The hammering in her chest lessened. At first, she would try to force the memory of that day away, but that never worked. Instead, she focused on something, anything, that would distract her.
She moved her attention to Riley, making his way through their new obstacle course. It wasn’t as sophisticated as what they had on Kathor’s ship, but they had more room here, which was good for Riley. He was working on a balance beam, doing easy handstands and backflips. He didn’t need the encouragement, but it gave her something to do.
“Nice job, Riley. Looking good,” she said.
Riley gave her a thumbs-up. He was really the only one she could talk to. It wasn’t that everyone else was shutting her out, exactly. Everything about the last gauntlet had ended in disaster, and they all dealt with the fallout in different ways.
Gorgeous still wasn’t talking to anyone. Beats had been badly injured, although not at the level Mel had sustained.
But coming off his last leg injury and getting shot in the shoulder twice, he spent most of his time recuperating. Gem’s injuries, if you could even call them that, seemed to have healed within days, although she had something like a scar across the left side of her face to remind her of the rats. A slight gouge, like someone had drawn a thin line through clay.
Evan was a mess. The rats had demolished one of his legs and his cybernetic arm. Mel was glad he’d been able to fend them off with the prosthetics. Even though they could be replaced, it had been tough for him. The parts weren’t exactly like a real arm, but they sent sensations of pain to his brain. And he had endured the rats clawing and sawing through his limbs while trying to protect himself and his friends. But far worse than the physical injuries had been the loss of Simon.
Jon had been injured as well. One of the rats had stabbed the side of his head, fracturing his skull and causing a concussion. Even though he’d been alert enough to call the dropship, Jon had no recollection of the events of the last gauntlet. The blow had also damaged his translator. When Mel had tried to contact them, Evan had been unconscious, and Jon’s translator wasn’t able to send communications. Even now, his translator no longer picked up on non-verbal signals, which made it harder to understand the aliens. They didn’t have the technology to fix or replace the translator that Kathor had implanted, so Jon became even more of a recluse than before.
Riley was the only one who seemed somewhat normal, now that the surgery to fix his torn tendon was complete and he had returned to training. He had gone out of his way to help her with the adjustments to the new cybernetic parts.
Riley walked over and crouched in front of her.
“Doing okay?”
She nodded. There wasn’t any point in talking about the visions again. They happened and there was nothing Riley could do. Although she had told Riley and Anna about the visions with her legs, she hadn’t talked about the other ones. How she would see Simon’s mangled carcass superimposed on any Chaturee. It was hell to be with Sheila. Even worse, Sheila clearly blamed her for Simon’s death, for letting him join the team, although she had never said so directly. Not that it mattered. Mel blamed herself enough for both of them.
“You did good on the obstacle course,” Riley said.
“It was okay. Weird how quickly you can adapt to these things.” She flexed her new bionic left arm. They had replaced the original cybernetic right leg with a new one, and added the left leg from the thigh down and her left arm and shoulder. While her arm hadn’t suffered much damage, the rat on her back had torn through most of her left rotator cuff. By the time they had made it home, there was nothing that could be done with her original arm. She could feel how the cybernetic arm flowed into her upper back with an artificial muscle and plate that attached to the ribs and spine on her left side. Cybernetics wrapped her lower right torso where the rats had mauled her obliques and abdominal muscles. She hadn’t even felt it during the gauntlet. At least they hadn’t damaged any of her internal organs. It was a miracle she hadn’t died from blood loss.
“It does take a lot of concentration at first. My brain is worn out,” she said. Reaching out a hand, she said, “Help me up.”
Riley stood, reaching down to help her stand. She flexed her legs, getting used to the feeling of the legs and her balance.
“I’m going to go check on Gorgeous,” she said. “And I should talk to Jon. I’ve been avoiding him since I got my new legs, but…” She trailed off. “We’re a mess, aren’t we? Win the gauntlets and we still lose.”
“That seems to be how it works,” Riley said. “You knew this could happen. It was always a longshot.”
“I know. I always have more hope than I should. I guess I don’t really mind when it happens to me, but I wish I could keep other people from getting hurt.”
“Want me to come with you?” Riley asked.
“No need. Gorgeous is probably asleep. She hasn’t wanted to talk since… since the thing.” Mel avoided meeting Riley’s gaze. She still couldn’t bring herself to refer to Gorgeous’s attempt at suicide. “I just want to be there, for when she’s ready.”
They started walking out of the training hall just as Sheila wandered in. The Chaturee looked exhausted and Mel guessed she wasn’t sleeping. Sheila looked at her with mild curiosity.
“I’m looking for Evan,” Sheila said, her eyes bulging slightly. Now it made her look like a lost child. She looked briefly around the room, then back at Mel. “He’s not here, I see. How are the legs?”
“Doing great, thanks. We have to talk to Jon. See you later,” Mel said, grabbing Riley and pulling him past Sheila. Sheila’s gaze followed them, fueling Mel’s guilt. But the real reason she avoided Sheila was that vision of Simon’s corpse.
“You and Sheila okay?” Riley asked.
Mel shook her head. “She’s messed up from losing Simon. She hates me.” I hate me.
Riley sighed. “Yeah. Evan, too. I mean he’s messed up, not that he hates you. I don’t know what to do for either of them. I liked Simon a lot.”
Mel didn’t have a response.
***
The up and down rhythm of Gorgeous’s chest was the only clue that she was still asleep. She thought the oval patches that made up Gorgeous’s eyes might be a darker shade of green, but it could also be the lighting. Mel shifted forward in the chair, staring curiously. At first glance, Gorgeous’s eyes looked solid green, but if Mel looked closely she could make out tiny facets, like little crystals that gently reflected the light. She had never noticed that before.
Gorgeous’s breathing skipped as she shifted and turned her head to face Mel, then her breathing settled back to normal. Mel studied Gorgeous’s features. The way her lips parted and the rising beat of her chest seemed so human. But little things were out of place—the alien eyes, the sharpness of her cheekbones, even the texture of the light fur that covered her body.
“Why are you staring at me?”
Mel jerked back in surprise. “Uh… sorry. I thought you were asleep. It’s weird that you sleep with your eyes open.”
“It’s weird you can close your eyes,” Gorgeous replied. Her voice was raspy and Mel had to strain slightly to hear her.
Mel tentatively reached out a hand, placing it on her friend’s arm. “How do you feel?”
Gorgeous looked away. “I’m fine,” she lied.
“You had a close call,” Mel said. “It’s okay… I mean, it’s not okay, but… I mean, I don’t understand…. What I’m trying to say is… oh, crap. I have no idea what I’m trying to say.”
“Is this your idea of cheering me up?” Gorgeous said. Mel picked up on the slight scowl on her face right before the translator told her Gorgeous was amused.
Mel squeezed Gorgeous’s arm. “I’d like to cheer you up. But no, that’s not really what this is. I… I want you to know I’m sorry. That I wasn’t there for you before. I know you were struggling, confused, whatever. And I kept pushing you to do the gauntlets instead of listening. When I thought you might die, I was so scared I would lose you.”
Gorgeous looked away again, but reached over with her hand to grip Mel’s. Mel started to say something, but the thoughts were confused and wouldn’t come out. The urge to yell at Gorgeous for being so stupid fought with an overriding guilt—that Mel had pushed Gorgeous too hard. So hard she had attempted to kill herself.
“It’s not your fault,” Gorgeous whispered.
“People keep telling me that. After a while it gets hard to believe it.”
“It wasn’t. It was me. And I’m sorry,” Gorgeous said.
“Sorry for what?”
They sat in silence for a moment before Gorgeous spoke. “These thoughts I had. I couldn’t stop the thoughts.”
“What thoughts?” Mel prodded.
“It started with Samor, I think. Maybe before that, it’s confusing. He saved me, and I thought I didn’t deserve to be saved. And then I kept thinking that… that you didn’t save me. That you swam back d
own to fight Polliwog. That you would rather fight than save me.” Gorgeous glanced quickly at Mel, then looked away. “It sounds crazy. I know it’s not true.” She looked back at Mel, the translator indicating a quizzical look that Mel couldn’t see with her own eyes. “Right? That’s not true, right?”
Mel shook her head. “No. That is definitely not true.”
Nodding, Gorgeous absently stroked Mel’s hand. “I can’t tell anymore. What’s true and what isn’t. I don’t want to hurt anyone, but when I’m training or in the gauntlets, I want to kill everyone who gets in my way. To hurt them, the way everyone has hurt me.” Sighing, she gripped Mel’s hand. “It was too much. Fight, run, hide, kill, be killed. Just racing through my mind. I thought the Order was chasing us. I thought I saw my mother in the crowd in the market once. That she had started working for the Order and was chasing me. It was in my dreams, then my dreams were in my waking life and I couldn’t tell the difference. I just wanted it to stop.”
“You should have told me,” Mel said, then stopped herself. “No, I’m sorry. I should have asked. I thought about it, but I didn’t know how.”
“I’m sorry about Simon,” Gorgeous said. “I wish it was me. I should have been there.”
Mel shook her head. “I cared about Simon too. He was a good… person. Alien person. But I’m glad you weren’t there. You’re my friend Gorgeous. Maybe my best friend. I can’t lose you.”
Her eyes shifted from green to a light orange color, then back, but she scowl-laughed. “Only maybe?”
Mel laughed in return. “More than maybe. You’re definitely my bestest alien friend. I’m glad you’re feeling better.”
***
Images flickered by, then faded. Floating in a pool, warm water relaxing her. In the training hall of the ship, firing her pistols. Standing in some kind of lab, typing at a computer, then staring into a chamber at a robot working on a helmet. It was similar to the one she’d worn in her third gauntlet. Now she was lying on a bed in a large cabin with a desk, chair, and luxurious bathroom that had something like a Jacuzzi tub. She really liked the tub.
