CHAPTER XVI.
SHOWING HOW ROBINSON WALKED UPON ROSES.
"Will it ever be said of me when my history is told that I spentforty thousand pounds a-year in advertising a single article? Wouldthat it might be told that I had spent ten times forty thousand." Itwas thus that Robinson had once spoken to his friend Poppins, whilesome remnant of that five hundred pounds was still in his hands.
"But what good does it do? It don't make anything."
"But it sells them, Poppins."
"Everybody wears a shirt, and no one wears more than one at a time. Idon't see that it does any good."
"It is a magnificent trade in itself. Would that I had a monopoly ofall the walls in London! The very arches of the bridges must be worthten thousand a-year. The omnibuses are invaluable; the cabs are amine of wealth; and the railway stations throughout England wouldgive a revenue for an emperor. Poppins, my dear fellow, I fancy thatyou have hardly looked into the depths of it."
"Perhaps not," said Poppins. "Some objects to them that they're alllies. It isn't that I mind. As far as I can see, everything is mostlylies. The very worst article our people can get for sale, they call'middlings;' the real middlings are 'very superior,' and so on.They're all lies; but they don't cost anything, and all the worldknows what they mean. Bad things must be bought and sold, and ifwe said our things was bad, nobody would buy them. But I can'tunderstand throwing away so much money and getting nothing."
Poppins possessed a glimmering of light, but it was only aglimmering. He could understand that a man should not call his owngoods middling; but he could not understand that a man is onlycarrying out the same principle in an advanced degree, when heproclaims with a hundred thousand voices in a hundred thousandplaces, that the article which he desires to sell is the best ofits kind that the world has yet produced. He merely asserts withhis loudest voice that his middlings are not middlings. A littleman can see that he must not cry stinking fish against himself;but it requires a great man to understand that in order to abstaineffectually from so suicidal a proclamation, he must declare withall the voice of his lungs, that his fish are that moment hardly outof the ocean. "It's the poetry of euphemism," Robinson once said toPoppins;--but he might as well have talked Greek to him.
Robinson often complained that no one understood him; but he forgotthat it is the fate of great men generally to work alone, and tobe not comprehended. The higher a man raises his head, the morenecessary is it that he should learn to lean only on his ownstrength, and to walk his path without even the assistance ofsympathy. The greedy Jones had friends. Poppins with his easyepicurean laisser aller,--he had friends. The decent Brown, who wouldso fain be comfortable, had friends. But for Robinson, there was noone on whose shoulder he could rest his head, and from whose heartand voice he could receive sympathy and encouragement.
From one congenial soul,--from one soul that he had hoped tofind congenial,--he did look for solace; but even here he wasdisappointed. It has been told that Maryanne Brown did at lastconsent to name the day. This occurred in May, and the day named wasin August. Robinson was very anxious to fix it at an earlier period,and the good-natured girl would have consented to arrange everythingwithin a fortnight. "What's the use of shilly-shallying?" said sheto her father. "If it is to be done, let it be done at once. I'm soknocked about among you, I hardly know where I am." But Mr. Brownwould not consent. Mr. Brown was very feeble, but yet he was veryobstinate. It would often seem that he was beaten away from hispurpose, and yet he would hang on it with more tenacity than that ofa stronger man. "Town is empty in August, George, and then you can bespared for a run to Margate for two or three days."
"Oh, we don't want any nonsense," said Maryanne; "do we, George?"
"All I want is your own self," said Robinson.
"Then you won't mind going into lodgings for a few months," saidBrown.
Robinson would have put up with an attic, had she he loved consentedto spread her bridal couch so humbly; but Maryanne declared withresolution that she would not marry till she saw herself inpossession of the rooms over the shop.
"There'll be room for us all for awhile," said old Brown.
"I think we might manage," said George.
"I know a trick worth two of that," said the lady. "Who's to make pago when once we begin in that way? As I mean to end, so I'll begin.And as for you, George, there's no end to your softness. You're thatgreen, that the very cows would eat you." Was it not well said byMr. Robinson in his preface to these memoirs, that the poor oldcommercial Lear, whose name stood at the head of the firm, was cursedwith a Goneril,--and with a Regan?
But nothing would induce Mr. Brown to leave his home, or to say thathe would leave his home, before the middle of August, and thus thehappy day was postponed till that time.
"There's many a slip 'twixt the cup and the lip," said Poppins,when he was told. "Do you take care that she and Polly ain't off toAldersgate Street together."
"Poppins, I wouldn't be cursed with your ideas of human nature,--notfor a free use of all the stations on the North Western. Go toAldersgate Street now that she is my affianced bride!"
"That's gammon," said Poppins. "When once she's married she'll gostraight enough. I believe that of her, for she knows which side herbread's buttered. But till the splice is made she's a right to pleaseherself; that's the way she looks at it."
"And will it not please her to become mine?"
"It's about the same with 'em all," continued Poppins. "My Pollywould have been at Hong Kong with the Buffs by this time, if I hadn'tknocked the daylight out of that sergeant." And Poppins, from thetone in which he spoke of his own deeds, seemed to look back upon hisfeat of valour with less satisfaction than it had given him at themoment. Polly was his own certainly; but the comfort of his smallmenage was somewhat disturbed by his increasing family.
But to return. Robinson, as we have said, looked in vain to hisfuture partner in life for a full appreciation of his own views as tocommerce. "It's all very well, I daresay," said she; "but one shouldfeel one's way."
"When you launch your ship into the sea," he replied, "you do notwant to feel your way. You know that the waves will bear her up, andyou send her forth boldly. As wood will float upon water, so willcommerce float on the ocean streams of advertisement."
"But if you ran aground in the mud, where are you then? Do you takecare, George, or your boat 'll be water-logged."
It was during some of these conversations that Delilah cut anotherlock of hair from Samson's head, and induced him to confess that hehad obtained that sum of five hundred pounds from her father, andspent it among those who prepared for him his advertisements. "No!"said she, jumping up from her seat. "Then he had it after all?"
"Yes; he certainly had it."
"Well, that passes. And after all he said!"
A glimmering of the truth struck coldly upon Robinson's heart. Shehad endeavoured to get from her father this sum and had failed. Shehad failed, and the old man had sworn to her that he had it not. Butfor what purpose had she so eagerly demanded it? "Maryanne," he said,"if you love another more fondly than you love me--"
"Don't bother about love, George, now. And so you got it out of himand sent it all flying after the rest. I didn't think you were thatpowerful."
"The money, Maryanne, belonged to the firm."
"Gracious knows who it belongs to now. But, laws;--when I think ofall that he said, it's quite dreadful. One can't believe a word thatcomes out of his mouth."
Robinson also thought that it was quite dreadful when he reflectedon all that she must have said before she had given up the task ashelpless. Then, too, an idea came upon him of what he might have toendure when he and she should be one bone and one flesh. How charmingwas she to the eyes! how luxuriously attractive, when in her softermoments she would laugh, and smile, and joke at the winged hoursas they passed! But already was he almost afraid of her voice, andalready did he dread the fiercer glances of her eyes. Was he wise inthis that he was doing? Had he not one brid
e in commerce, a bridethat would never scold; and would it not be well for him to trusthis happiness to her alone? So he argued within his own breast. Butnevertheless, Love was still the lord of all.
"And the money's all gone?" said Maryanne.
"Indeed it is. Would I had as many thousands to send after it."
"It was like your folly, George, not to keep a little of it by you,knowing how comfortable it would have been for us at the beginning."
"But, my darling, it belonged to the firm."
"The firm! Arn't they all helping themselves hand over hand, exceptyou? There was Sarah Jane in the shop behind the counter allyesterday afternoon. Now, I tell you what it is; if she's to come inI won't stand it. She's not there for nothing, and she with childrenat home. No wonder she can keep a nursemaid, if that's where shespends her time. If you would go down more into the shop, George, andwrite less of them little books in verse, it would be better for usall."
And so the time passed on towards August, and the fifteenth of thatmonth still remained fixed as the happy day. Robinson spent someportion of this time in establishing a method of advertisement, whichhe flattered himself was altogether new; but it must be admitted inthese pages that his means for carrying it out were not sufficient.In accordance with this project it would have been necessary tosecure the co-operation of all the tailors' foremen in London, andthis could not be done without a douceur to the men. His idea was,that for a period of a month in the heart of the London season, nonew coat should be sent home to any gentleman without containing inthe pocket one of those alluring little silver books, put out byBrown, Jones, and Robinson.
"The thing is, to get them opened and looked at," said Robinson."Now, I put it to you, Poppins, whether you wouldn't open a book likethat if you found that somebody had put it into your tail coat."
"Well, I should open it."
"You would be more or less than mortal did you not? If it's throwninto your cab, you throw it out. If a man hands it to you in thestreet, you drop it. If it comes by post, you throw it into thewaste-paper basket. But I'll defy the sternest or the idlest man notto open the leaves of such a work as that when he first takes it outof his new dress-coat. Surprise will make him do so. Why should histailor send him the book of B., J., and R.? There must be somethingin it. The name of B., J., and R., becomes fixed in his memory, andthen the work is done. If the tailors had been true to me, I mighthave defied the world." But the tailors were not true to him.
During all this time nothing was heard of Brisket. It could not bedoubted that Brisket, busy among his bullocks in Aldersgate Street,knew well what was passing among the Browns in Bishopsgate Street.Once or twice it occurred to Robinson that the young women, Maryannenamely and Mrs. Poppins, expected some intervention from the butcher.Was it possible that Mr. Brisket might be expected to entertain lessmercenary ideas when he found that his prize was really to be carriedoff by another? But whatever may have been the expectations of theladies, Brisket made no sign. He hadn't seen his way, and thereforehe had retired from the path of love.
But Brisket, even though he did not see his way, was open to femaleseduction. Why was it, that at this eventful period of Robinson'sexistence Mrs. Poppins should have turned against him? Why his oldfriend, Polly Twizzle, should have gone over to his rival, Robinsonnever knew. It may have been because, in his humble way, Poppinshimself stood firmly by his friend; for such often is the nature ofwomen. Be that as it may, Mrs. Poppins, who is now again his fastfriend, was then his enemy.
"We shall have to go to this wedding of George's," Poppins saidto his wife, when the first week in August had already passed. "Isuppose old Pikes 'ill give me a morning." Old Pikes was a partner inthe house to which Mr. Poppins was attached.
"I shan't buy my bonnet yet awhile," said Mrs. Poppins.
"And why not, Polly?"
"For reasons that I know of."
"But what reasons?"
"You men are always half blind, and t'other half stupid. Don't yousee that she's not going to have him?"
"She must be pretty sharp changing her mind, then. Here's Tuesdayalready, and next Tuesday is to be the day."
"Then it won't be next Tuesday; nor yet any Tuesday this month.Brisket's after her again."
"I don't believe it, Polly."
"Then disbelieve it. I was with him yesterday, and I'll tell you whowas there before me;--only don't you go to Robinson and say I saidso."
"If I can't make sport, I shan't spoil none," said Poppins.
"Well, Jones was there. Jones was with Brisket, and Jones told himthat if he'd come forward now he should have a hundred down, and apromise from the firm for the rest of it."
"Then Jones is a scoundrel."
"I don't know about that," said Mrs. Poppins. "Maryanne is his wife'ssister, and he's bound to do the best he can by her. Brisket is adeal steadier man than Georgy Robinson, and won't have to look forhis bread so soon, I'm thinking."
"He hasn't half the brains," said Poppins.
"Brains is like soft words; they won't butter no parsnips."
"And you've been with Brisket?" said the husband.
"Yes; why not? Brisket and I was always friends. I'm not going toquarrel with Brisket because Georgy Robinson is afraid of him. I knewhow it would be with Robinson when he didn't stand up to Brisket thatnight at the Hall of Harmony. What's a man worth if he won't stand upfor his young woman? If you hadn't stood up for me I wouldn't havehad you." And so ended that conversation.
"A hundred pounds down?" said Brisket to Jones the next day.
"Yes, and our bill for the remainder."
"The cash on the nail."
"Paid into your hand," said Jones.
"I think I should see my way," said Brisket; "at any rate I'll comeup on Saturday."
"Much better say to-morrow, or Friday."
"Can't. It's little Gogham Fair on Friday; and I always kills onThursday."
"Saturday will be very late."
"There'll be time enough if you've got the money ready. You've spokento old Brown, I suppose. I'll be up as soon after six on Saturdayevening as I can come. If Maryanne wants to see me, she'll find mehere. It won't be the first time."
Thus was it that among his enemies the happiness of Robinson's lifewas destroyed. Against Brisket he breathes not a word. The course wasopen to both of them; and if Brisket was the best horse, why, let himwin!
But in what words would it be right to depict the conduct of Jones?
The Struggles of Brown, Jones, and Robinson Page 16
