by Presley Hall
She nods, still looking dazed. “That’s… that’s what this is, isn’t it? The bond? Is that why I feel…?”
She trails off, as if unable to find the words to describe it.
“Yes.” I nod, desire flooding my veins as I watch a pink flush rise in her face. The small dots scattered across her nose and cheeks stand out against her pale skin, and I feel the sudden urge to press my lips to each one. “You are my mate.”
“And you’re my mate.”
She whispers it softly, her tongue darting out to wet her lips. My cock stirs at the sight, need like I’ve never known building inside me as my gaze devours her perfect, plump lips.
“Yes,” I say roughly. “Yours.”
Her mouth falls open a little. The wild terror I saw in her eyes earlier has faded away entirely, and as her gaze fixes on mine, there’s a softness in the depths of her irises that makes joy fill me. This is how I’ve always wanted her to look at me, I realize. This is how we are meant to be.
I remove my hand from hers where it rests against my chest. Slowly, my hands trail up over the delicate column of her neck to cup her petite jaw in my palms. My thumbs sweep over her cheekbones, tracing every line of her face.
A small shiver runs through her, and my cock hardens fully as I watch her respond to my touch.
She is mine. And she’s so slanching beautiful.
Even when I didn’t trust her, I could see that. And over the past day and a half, as we’ve traveled together and I’ve learned more about her, she’s grown more stunning in my eyes.
Now? Now it almost hurts to look at her, my greedy gaze struggling to take in every bit of her loveliness at once.
My cock throbs, nearly dislodging my loincloth as it pulses heavily, straining toward her, as desperate to claim her as I am. I can’t stop looking at her. Can’t stop touching her, mapping every curve of her features as sparks seem to crackle in the air between us.
When she lifts her other hand and presses it to my chest, my breath catches, a fresh jolt of need flooding my body. Her hands are so small and delicate, and her soft skin against mine brings a kind of ecstasy I’ve never experienced before. And yet, it’s not nearly enough.
I want more. So much more.
Time seems to come to a halt as my gaze drops to her lips again, and this time, nothing on this entire godsforsaken planet could hold me back. With a low groan, I drop my head and press my lips to hers. She gasps softly, arching against me as she tips her head back, and my hands cup her face more firmly, holding her in place as our kiss deepens.
When I lick the seam of her lips, she parts them for me, and I slide my tongue into her mouth, nearly dizzy from lust. The perfect taste of her floods my senses, and I’m harder than I’ve ever been in my life.
“Sadie…” My groan is muffled by her lips, and she whimpers when she hears me speak her name.
My heart beats harder, pounding in my chest. I want to hear her make that noise again. I want to draw more sounds out of her, to hear the soft sighs and moans of pleasure she will make as I explore every inch of her body with my lips and teeth and tongue.
As we kiss over and over again, her hands start to roam over my body. Her movements are tentative at first, but they grow more confident, more desperate, as I begin to touch her too. My hands leave her face, trailing down the delicate line of her neck and over her shoulders. I wrap one arm around her, pulling her closer to me, as my other hand moves down to massage her small, firm breast. Her nipple is peaked and rigid against my palm, and she lets out another quiet gasp as she presses it harder into my grasp, silently urging me on.
Akhi.
My hips jerk, my cock pulsing as I grunt softly. My self-control is nearly at a breaking point already, the bond drawing me toward her with an insistent pull, every fiber of my being nearly vibrating with the need to feel her wet heat wrapped around me.
I wrench my lips away from hers, tasting the skin of her jaw as I work my way over to her ear. I draw the lobe of it between my teeth and bite down gently, and I’m rewarded by a soft cry and the feel of her fingertips digging into my skin as she shudders in my grasp again.
Satisfaction surges through me, and I’m about to repeat the action when I feel Sadie stiffen in my arms. It’s a small change, so slight that I might not have noticed it ordinarily, but I’m so attuned to this woman that even the smallest shift is obvious. I draw back, my brows furrowing. My cock is still throbbing insistently, but a hint of worry rises up alongside the arousal flooding my veins.
“What is it?” I ask. “What’s the matter?”
Sadie blinks at me. For a moment, I think perhaps I imagined her brief stiffness, but then she bites her lip and drops her gaze.
“I… I didn’t expect this,” she whispers.
“Neither did I.” I catch her chin with two fingers, tilting her head up so I can meet her eyes. I want to comfort her, to reassure her, but I’m not sure how.
She licks her lips, gazing up at me. “It feels so… real.”
“It is real,” I promise, my voice low. “The bond has chosen us for each other. And I don’t regret it.”
“Neither do I… I think.” She swallows hard, then adds, “I like you, Jaro. You’re not like anyone I’ve ever known. You’re nothing like I expected you to be. You’re brave and kind and selfless. You’re amazing.”
My heart swells at her words. I drop my head to kiss her again, but she pulls back slightly, and I freeze. The happiness in my chest turns cold as I gaze down at her with a question in my eyes.
Her hands are resting on my chest again, and I can feel the pressure of her fingertips as she glances down at the place where our bare skin touches.
“What’s wrong, my kira?” I ask softly, hardly daring to breathe.
Will she reject the bond? Is that what she’s trying to summon the courage to tell me?
If she does not want me as a mate, I won’t force her. I know what it feels like to have choice taken away from you, and I would never do that to another person if I could help it, least of all the woman my very soul urges me to protect. I would never hurt her, even if it means letting her go.
But, gods, I don’t know if I could survive that.
“What I feel for you—what I feel when I’m with you?” Sadie shakes her head, smiling almost sadly. “I don’t know how to describe it. It’s like something was building up inside me from the moment I met you, and now it’s overflowing. It’s so much. I just… I don’t know if I can do it.”
My jaw clenches, and I nod stiffly. I know I should release her from my embrace, let go of her chin and step back, but I can’t bring myself to part with her yet. If she truly is rejecting the bond, it might be the last time I ever touch her like this, and I need one more moment to absorb her perfection before I step away.
“You don’t want me as a mate,” I say, my voice thick.
“What?” Her eyes widen in shock, and she shakes her head. “No. No, that’s not what I’m saying. It’s not that I don’t want you. God, I’d have to be crazy not to want you. It’s just…” She lets out a breath, and more color creeps up her cheeks, staining them a dusky pink. “We’ve all heard Droth and Charlotte. They weren’t exactly as sneaky as they thought they were, slipping off into the woods or into an empty room on the ship. It’s obvious the connection between them is intense, and the sex sounded pretty… well…” She clears her throat. “I’m not like that though. I don’t feel things the way I used to, and I can’t… I’m broken.”
There’s a note of sadness—of something almost like defeat—in her voice as she speaks the last word, and my brows draw together. I don’t understand exactly what she means, but the tightness in my chest loosens a little as I realize she’s not rejecting the bond.
“You are not broken, Sadie,” I tell her quietly. My cock has softened a little, concern for my mate overriding everything else, but as I allow my gaze to roam over her, it stiffens again. “I can see you standing before me, and you’re whole. You’re perfect.�
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She smiles, but her eyes are still shadowed with regret. “It’s not a physical thing. It’s more up here.” She points to her head. “Or maybe here.” She points to her chest, indicating her heart.
“What is it?”
She hesitates for a moment, then sighs. “Back on Earth, I struggled a lot with anxiety. When I feel like things are out of my control, I panic. Someone betrayed my trust once, and it sort of left a lasting effect on my life. It’s not easy for me to trust, and it’s not easy for me to let go. To enjoy things like I used to.” A look of embarrassment crosses her face, and she avoids my gaze as she adds, “I haven’t had sex in years. I haven’t even… you know… by myself in years. I just… lock up.”
I blink as understanding washes over me.
She’s not rejecting me or the mate bond. Instead, she seems to think that she is somehow unfit for it. That because of this “brokenness” she sees in herself, our bond will be less real or less perfect than Charlotte and Droth’s.
But what my beautiful, brave mate doesn’t understand is that our bond is not Charlotte and Droth’s. It’s ours. A connection that exists solely between the two of us, and one that will be unique to the two of us.
She doesn’t seem to understand that although I desire her with my entire being, it’s much deeper than just carnal need.
“Sadie,” I whisper quietly, stepping toward her again. She allows me to close the space between us, her body leaning toward mine in a way that makes me certain she feels the same pull I do. “I don’t believe you are broken. Certainly not in your mind or in your heart, no matter what hurts you have sustained. When we get injured and then heal from those injuries, our scars are not a sign that we’re broken. They’re a sign that we are strong enough to survive.”
Even as I speak, I think of the scars on my own body from my years of fighting in the arena as a slave. I bear wounds in my heart and mind too, and I realize with a rush of emotion that perhaps this is why the bond formed between Sadie and me. If both of us had been perfectly whole, unmarked by the hazards of life, perhaps we would not have needed each other. Perhaps we would not have understood each other.
But I understand her perfectly. I recognized the fear and distrust in her eyes from the beginning, and now I know why.
We are so similar, my mate and I. And it only makes me want her more.
Reaching out, I run my knuckles lightly down her arm. Her eyelashes flutter, her chest rising and her mouth dropping open a little as she draws a deep breath.
“Did that feel good?” I murmur.
She nods, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth.
“I will only ever touch you to make you feel good,” I promise. My voice is a low rasp as I trail my fingers lower and grasp her hand in mine. “Can I show you? Can I show you that you aren’t broken?”
13
Sadie
My arm tingles, every bit of skin prickling with awareness as Jaro grasps my hand in his larger one. There are callouses on his palms and on his fingertips, and the light roughness against my skin seems to wake up every nerve-ending in my body.
God, I want him.
I want to be swept up, to be carried away by desire—for it to be simple and easy, like it seems to be for Charlotte and Droth.
But I know it won’t be. When he bit down on my ear earlier, a jolt of pleasure shot through my body, so strong it seemed to travel all the way down to my clit. And then, as always, panic followed on its heels. It’s so hard for me to let go, to just let myself feel. I pretty much gave up dating back on Earth, because between my lack of sex drive and my trust issues, it just didn’t seem worth it. Not worth the embarrassment or the struggle.
With Jaro, though? Everything is different.
Even without the mate bond, I was beginning to see him in an entirely new light, drawn to his strength, determination, and bravery. And now that I know the bond is real, now that I can feel it humming in the air between us like a live wire, I want to follow it wherever it may lead.
I want this.
No matter how fucking terrified I am of it too.
Jaro is still gazing down at me, his dark green eyes serious as he waits for me to say something. He hasn’t let go of my hand, but he’s made no move to touch me anywhere else, and my whole body seems to cry out in frustration at the space between us.
So I gather the courage I’ve only recently found inside myself, drawing it up from the same place that let me scale a canyon wall and fight off a furious boar. Then I dip my chin in a small nod.
“Yes,” I whisper. “You can try.”
A smile spreads across Jaro’s face, and there are so many emotions contained in it that it makes my heart beat harder. I see relief, happiness, and deep desire. Tenderness and fierce passion. For a moment, I think I might drown in his eyes as he gazes at me. And then he leans down and kisses me.
It’s nothing like our first kiss. There’s something so deliberate about it, so sure, that my toes curl a little in my shoes. My body buzzes with arousal and adrenaline, but Jaro keeps the pressure of his lips slow and soft.
I can feel him holding himself back, and the contrast between how badly he wants me and the gentle way he’s kissing me almost drives me crazy. It makes me want to rise up onto my tiptoes, to press my body against his until we’re touching everywhere we possibly can.
But before I can work up the nerve to move, he draws back. His gaze takes in my face, examining my expression before he cups my cheek again.
“You are my mate,” he murmurs, his voice a low rumble. “My perfect match. I can feel it.” His thumb drags over my bottom lip, and the feeling of it makes my breath catch. “I will take care of you no matter what. I will protect you no matter what. And I will always want you. You will never be broken to me.”
I blink, tears burning the backs of my eyes.
If I were back on Earth, still living my old life with no idea of the things I know now, I would think the man standing in front of me was crazy. I would think it’s insane to essentially declare your undying love for someone you’ve barely known for a week.
And I’d tell myself I was nuts for believing him.
But I’m not the same woman I was back on Earth. And after everything I’ve seen, everything I’ve learned about, Jaro’s declaration somehow seems like the least crazy part of all this.
Because I know he means it. And somehow, in some primal part of me that doesn’t listen to logic or get swept up by my anxiety, I know he always will.
He’s my mate.
My stomach flutters, and I nod, still holding his gaze.
As if that’s the sign he’s been waiting for, Jaro grasps my hand a little tighter and leads me away from the clearing where we fought the boar-thing. We walk in silence for a few minutes, and it’s a miracle I don’t trip over every rock and root in my path.
My whole body is vividly aware of the feel of Jaro’s hand wrapped around mine. His palm is broad and rough, and his fingers are so much larger than mine. It makes me feel small and fragile by comparison, but for some reason, that doesn’t scare me.
Instead, I feel safe.
My gaze darts over to him several times as we walk, drinking in the sight of his muscled frame and pearlescent blue skin. The white markings that curl over his body are glowing a little brighter than normal, as if lit from within.
After another minute or two of walking, Jaro makes a satisfied noise in his throat, veering to the right. At first, I can’t tell what he’s leading me toward, but then he reaches out and sweeps aside the drooping branches of a tree. It’s almost like a willow tree, except the bark is covered in a fine fuzz and the branches are so numerous that they create a complete canopy around us as we step inside their perimeter.
He lets the thin branches fall back into place behind us, blocking out some of the late afternoon light from outside. Beneath the tree, it’s shadowy and cool, and it only makes the glow of his markings more obvious.
Releasing my hand, he tilts my head u
p and finds my lips with his own again, as if he’s resuming our kiss from earlier. And he might as well be, because the same feelings that were rising up inside me before flare back to life again now. His lips are warm and firm, and his rich, spicy scent fills my nostrils as we kiss.
At first, he doesn’t touch me anywhere else, almost teasing me with the pressure of his lips on mine. I can still feel the coiled restraint in him, and when he steps a little closer to me, the bulge of his cock brushes against my stomach. I tense, and he stills, his lips clinging to mine by the barest touch until I tilt my head upward again, sliding my tongue out to taste his skin.
He accepts that as the silent invitation it is and resumes kissing me. Every time his mouth moves over mine, it seems to stoke a fire inside me, making my breath come faster and my heart pound unevenly in my chest.
I’m leaning into the kiss so much that I’m practically on my tiptoes, and when I reach up to steady myself, my hands land on his chest.
He moans softly, a low noise in the back of his throat. Finally, he begins to touch me. His hands drift up my arms and then slide through my hair, angling my head a little so he can take our kiss deeper.
“Sadie,” he groans. “You taste so slanching good.”
His words send a little thrill of nerves through me, but the fire in my veins burns it away. I nod, my voice breathless and barely recognizable as I gasp, “So do you.”
“Do you want me to stop?” he murmurs, sliding one large hand beneath my shirt and over the plane of my stomach so that his fingers graze the underside of my breast.
My heart lurches into my throat, my nipples instantly going hard. We’re only inching toward second base, but this is farther than I’ve gotten with anyone in a long, long time.
“No,” I breathe. “Don’t stop. Please.”
He pulls away from me a little, and when I see the tension in his jaw, I think for a moment that he’s angry. Then I realize it’s not anger at all. It’s desire. It’s the effort of holding back.
This fierce warrior, the man I’ve seen battle monsters several times his size, is nearly undone by me.
