by Tessa Cole
My breath hitched, anticipation of what would happen if he just moved his fingers an inch reigniting my desire. I wanted him to touch me, wanted more, and that terrified me.
“Oh, no.” He teased his fingers against my wet and swollen folds. Just a whisper of a touch, and my thoughts scattered. All the reasons I’d run from Sebastian’s bed vanished, and, with just that touch, I was instantly trembling on the verge of an orgasm again. “You weren’t done at all.”
He slid two fingers inside me, and I moaned, my body melting into the sensation. Oh, yes.
“He wants you again.” Hawk slowly slid his fingers out then pushed back in. “Even after you ran, he still wants you. But I think it’s his turn to know someone else is fucking you. He can’t sense it like I can, so let’s give him something to listen to.”
He brushed his thumb against my clit, sending another teasing tremor through me, and I fought to swallow a moan of pleasure.
It came out as a desperate mewl that deepened Hawk’s smile. “Or would you rather he watched?”
The memory of Sebastian’s hungry look when we’d been in Hawk’s tent and the thought of him watching while Hawk pushed inside me rippled pleasure through me, torturously close to an orgasm but not quite.
“Fuck, yeah,” Hawk murmured, increasing the pressure on my clit and sliding his fingers in and out at a torturously slow pace. “How about instead of watching, we invite him to join us.”
Oh, God yes. I wanted that. I wanted all of it. Everything I’d learned about while I’d waited and prepared for my soul mate, and what better way to do that than with men as experienced as Sebastian and Hawk who were without a doubt not my soul mates.
My muscles clenched around Hawk’s fingers and another orgasm swept through me. He captured my lips, swallowing my moan, and slipped a curl of his hot sensual magic into me that made the sensation swell. Stars flashed behind my eyelids, my release stealing all breath and thought.
“You’re going to be so much fun,” he murmured before sauntering away through the living room into the kitchen leaving me panting and trembling and clinging to the wall to stay standing.
Oh, God.
God.
That was—
And I was—
What was wrong with me? I wanted to call him back, wanted him and Sebastian so much it hurt, wanted the escape of not thinking and just feeling. No—
I sucked in a ragged breath. What I needed to do was think. My reasons for leaving Sebastian’s bed hadn’t changed, and I needed to figure out how to pull myself back together. Something, I wasn’t going to be able to figure out in the guestroom any more. It was too small. I needed more space and sky to steady myself. I had to have sky.
I raced out the front door before common sense kicked in but managed to forced myself to slow down so I could notice the moment the leash spell activated. It always started with a pressure before the air vanished. If I felt that, I’d turn around, but not before.
Please, don’t activate. Please let the stairs to the roof be within the limits of the spell. I needed the sky too much. I needed to find my balance.
Thankfully, there was only a hint of weight in my chest, and I crashed out the metal security door onto the roof, the coarse surface rough against my bare feet and the summer’s evening heat wrapping thick and humid around me. A mix of relief and desperation brought me to my knees.
There had to be something wrong with me. I wanted to go back to Hawk and Sebastian. I craved it. But the things I desired surprised me.
And yet just thinking about Hawk’s proposition for a ménage a trios sent an aftershock rushing through me.
I wanted both of them. Together. But did I want them or just two men? I wasn’t sure I’d feel comfortable agreeing to anything with men I didn’t know. Except I barely knew Sebastian and I didn’t know Hawk at all.
Which meant it wasn’t them I craved, but sex… really? No, there was something about them that I trusted… or was that just because my control had finally shattered and my psyche needed to justify my desire for them by making me think I trusted them.
I swept my gaze over the Quarter’s skyline. The lights across from me were tinged purple by the UV-blocking canopy which was attached to the side of the roof — marking this building as being at the edge of the vampire’s section of the Quarter. The canopy rose up seven feet, stretched over to the roof across the street as well as the buildings up the street, protecting a whole, long block.
My insides squirmed, my worry and confusion growing. I’d thought seeing the sky would help, but with the glass canopy I still felt trapped. Trapped by my fear and now trapped by my desires.
I couldn’t take back what I’d done with Sebastian and I didn’t want to. I’d hoped my aching need would go away if I satisfied it, but now I knew what I’d been missing, and I wanted more.
A part of me feared I wouldn’t be able to get enough and another part feared if I propositioned Sebastian he’d refuse me.
As it was, Sebastian or Hawk would let it slip, and Cassius would know what had happened by the morning and would no doubt be concerned, since sleeping with Sebastian was out of character for me… because I wasn’t a sexual woman.
Well, if I didn’t want to go crazy and make even worse decisions, I was going to have to become one. I needed to own my desires. I was sure I could still practice some restraint, but I didn’t want the celibacy of before. Surely I could convince the part of me that was still screaming at my lack of control that taking charge of what I wanted was an act of control.
The thought made my cheeks heat.
Taking charge meant being forthright and asking for what I wanted.
Funny how I could say what needed to be said in a medical situation no matter how blunt, but the idea of asking for what I desired embarrassed me.
I drew in a deep breath, trying to calm my fear. I was still in control. My destiny was still my own. Sebastian would break the leash spell and remove my mating brand and I’d be free. I had a lifetime to find my courage to ask for selfish things, sexual things, anything I wanted.
A footstep crunched on the roof behind me and I turned around, my heart pounding with the hope that Sebastian or Hawk had followed me.
But instead it was the stern man from the market who’d been commanding the spring fae and their hired thugs. Behind him stood half a dozen shifters, their fingers extended into razor-sharp claws.
“Just the bait I was looking for,” he said
Bait? My pulse leaped into a rapid tattoo. Bait meant he was going to capture me, use me. The thought shot icy fear through my limbs. I couldn’t be someone’s prisoner again. I swore. Never again.
My mind raced through my options. I didn’t know how to fight and even if I did, there were too many of them. I had to flee. And flying was my best defense. I couldn’t jump off the roof behind me — the way was blocked by the glass canopy — but I was still close to the side of the building. I hadn’t gone too far from the staircase.
I bolted for the edge and release my wings. The leash spell wouldn’t let me get far, but chances were none of these men could fly so hovering just out of reach would keep me safe until I could figure out how to get to Cassius.
The man laughed, the dark sound making the hair on the back of my neck stand up, and a sharp, sudden weight — too similar to the weight of the leash spell — slammed into my chest. I crashed to the rooftop before reaching the edge and the weight disappeared as quickly as it had appeared.
“How far do you think you’ll be able to go?” he called.
I scrambled back to my feet. I just needed to get off the roof. It was only ten feet away.
The man’s laughter grew and I put on a burst of speed as the weight slammed into me again. I hit the rooftop hard, spiking sharp pain up my right wrist in a failed attempt to protect my face. My cheek smashed against the ground and a fiery burn spiked through my knees.
The weight didn’t go away and I heaved back to my feet, flapping my wings to help me
rise. The edge was now only five feet away. If I could get there, I could fight the pressure in my chest and hold myself aloft.
But the weight swelled, stealing my breath, and yanked me around to face the man. He sneered at me, his eyes bright with pleasure, and he curled his finger at me in a come-hither gesture.
The weight jerked me forward a step. I heaved against it, flapping my wings, desperate to keep back. But it was as if a chain was embedded in my chest and fighting it felt like it was tearing out my soul with the same excruciating agony I’d felt when Sebastian had first tried to break the leash spell.
I stumbled forward another few steps, panting against the pain, fighting with everything I had. But I wasn’t strong enough. I was weak. I was always weak. And this man was going to take me.
No, please. I couldn’t go through that again. Even if it was just being trapped here on the roof while this man made his demands. My life for Titus’s. And I had no idea what Cassius would choose. It wasn’t right to give Titus over to this man, and the JP didn’t negotiate with hostage takers, but Cassius’s need to protect people was also strong. Would it be stronger than his need to follow the rules? He’d already turned a blind eye to the illegal activities in Lincoln and at Mavis’s. Would he sacrifice Titus to protect me? And could I live with that?
I took another staggering step and another, my mind screaming — fight. Resist. Be stronger. Stop. Please stop — until I stood before him, straining to breathe.
I glared at him. It was the only act of defiance I could manage, and the man’s sneer deepened.
“Grab her and let’s go,” he said.
“Go?” I gasped. I couldn’t go. If he took me out of the radius of the leash spell, I’d suffocate. Titus would suffocate. “No, please. I’m caught in a leash spell—”
“I’m aware.” The man flicked his finger and the air around me vanished.
I futilely gasped, instinct making me draw breath even though I knew there was nothing to breathe, and sagged to my knees. Dark specks crowded my vision and my lungs burned as the world began to spin.
The man grabbed my hair and yanked my head up to meet his gaze. Dark pleasure filled his eyes, making cold fear churn in my stomach.
“I’ve hijacked the leash spell.” Then he flicked his finger again and the air returned — although the crushing weight of the spell remained. My fear grew, making me tremble no matter how hard I tried to hide it. This man wasn’t just going to kidnap me. He was going to hurt me.
“I can’t kill the beast, but I’ll make him suffer through you until he comes to me and admits I’m his master.” He jerked my head back, shooting agony through my neck and making me whimper. “We’re going to have so much fun together.”
Chapter 20
Cassius
I lay in the dark on the couch in Bane’s office surrounded by floor-to-ceiling bookshelves unable to get to sleep and my fire burning under my skin as I fought to contain it. With the exception of the window at the back — its UV-blocking glass tinting the Quarter’s streetlights purple — and the fireplace across from me, there wasn’t an inch of wall that didn’t have a shelf filled with flammable material.
If I was smart, I’d go down to Bane’s patio and relieve some of the pressure by releasing my flames on the concrete.
Except I didn’t want to go that far from Amiah. It was already driving me crazy that she was out of sight.
Which was also driving me crazy.
I shouldn’t have to literally watch her to watch out for her. She could be perfectly fine in another room.
But my need to protect her squeezed my chest and made my fire threaten to roar out of control.
She shouldn’t be in this mess. She should be safe at Operations, back to life as normal — or as back to normal as it was possible for her given she’d just had her heart broken.
But I’d failed her. Once again I’d been unable to protect the people I cared about. It didn’t matter that it was Amiah’s magic that had gotten her into this trouble by locking onto Titus. Somehow I should have been able to stop that, or gotten her out of the situation once I knew what a mess it was, or something.
I should have been able to do God damned something.
My fire flared, billowing smoke from my hands, and I clenched down on it, the heat searing my skin.
I couldn’t believe I’d said we had to go after Faerie’s Heart. Except no matter how I looked at the situation — and I’d spent all day trying to come up with any other solution that ensured Amiah’s safety — there wasn’t any option… if, of course, Bane was telling the truth.
I really wanted to doubt him, wanted him to be the lying bastard I’d thought he was before he’d helped my brother fight Lilith, but given how much he’d wanted us out of his apartment last night, he’d never come up with a story that forced us to stay together.
Which meant until we could get Faerie’s Heart, Amiah was in danger, and even then, unless we could make an iron-clad arrangement with someone who I seriously doubted would keep their word, she was still in danger.
It also meant we were stuck with Bane. The man who made sexual advances on everyone.
God, he drove me crazy. He’d propositioned my brother’s mate and now he kept propositioning Amiah. Not that she’d ever say yes. He wasn’t her type. He was a one-night stand guy. Have some fun and be done, and I doubted he even bothered to learn his lovers’ names. He made no attempt to hide that, and if I knew one thing about Amiah, she was a full commitment kind of woman. She was careful with her heart, so damned careful, and she’d never say yes to his advances.
And really, he was the least of my worries. Now we were stuck with an incubus who didn’t care who his magic affected.
I’d thought Essie’s incubus mate had been a sexual harassment complaint waiting to happen, but he was restrained compared to Hawk. I couldn’t feel the incubus’s magic, but I had no doubt Hawk did little to hold it back. It was the only thing that explained why Amiah hadn’t resisted his kiss in the abandoned bathhouse, why it looked like she’d wanted him to touch and kiss her like that.
The thought made my heart clench and my fire flared again.
I jerked off the couch, strode to the fireplace, and shoved my hands inside.
I wanted to touch her and kiss her like that… well, not like that—
Actually. Yes. Exactly like that.
I wanted to kiss her, comfort her, and convince her that while I’d never be as passionate as a shifter, I could fulfill her desires and be a good mate.
Fire sparked from my hands, proving just how wrong I was. I couldn’t be passionate. I’d burn her if I ever let go enough to show her how I felt. Hell, just thinking about her like that made it impossible to control my magic. How could I be a good mate if I couldn’t even touch her?
I sagged to the floor, keeping my hands in the fireplace and letting my flames drip onto the cleaned concrete hearth and metal grate. I had to focus on my priorities: keeping her safe.
That was the only thing that mattered.
It had barely bothered me to see the stolen goods as well as the health and magic code violations at Left of Lincoln or at Mavis’s. My need to protect overwhelmed everything else. I’d failed my youngest brother, Dominic, and I’d been useless protecting my other brother, Gideon. I couldn’t fail Amiah.
Something banged against the floor out in the hall and I jerked up to my feet.
“Seireadan!” Titus roared. “Seireadan. She’s gone.”
My pulse skipped a beat. There was only one she Titus would be yelling about.
I threw open the office door. The bedroom door across from me — Titus’s door — had been ripped off its hinges and lay half on the bed, while Titus, dressed in the sweatpants Bane’s assistant had provided him, was already at the end of the hall. He shoved open Bane’s bedroom door, revealing the naked fae scrambling out of bed. Of course the fae slept naked. Had Amiah walked in on that when she’d gone to check on him after dinner?
“She
’s gone,” Titus said, his grip crushing the doorknob, his massive muscular chest heaving with rapid breaths. God he was strong and dangerous. And another one I needed to protect Amiah from.
“She can’t be gone,” Hawk said rushing from the living room into the hall. “She knows the dangers of the leash spell.”
Titus wrenched around to face Hawk and snarled. “She’s gone. I can feel it.”
I hurried into her bedroom and turned on the light. The bed was still made, and the scrubs Chris had brought over yesterday were still neatly folded at its foot. My stomach bottomed out and fire snapped from my hands.
“She’s not in her room.” I sucked my flames back before I burned anything and returned to the hall. “Would she be in the other room?” I asked, pointing to the only other door in the hall.
“That’s my clean room for complicated spell casting. No furniture or windows,” Bane said, pulling on a pair of slacks. “Would she be in there? Last I saw her, she said she needed to think.” Bane’s gaze flickered to Hawk before jumping to me.
“She’d want open sky,” I said as Titus threw open the clean room door. “She’d go to the roof if she could.”
“Would she risk the roof access being outside of the leash spell?” Bane asked.
“If she was upset enough.” And God, she had so much to be upset about.
I shoved past Hawk and stormed out the door.
If I really thought about it, it should have surprised me that she hadn’t gone to the roof sooner. Amiah’s need for open sky was stronger than most angels’. I didn’t know if it was the way she’d always been or if her captivity at the hands of that human had exacerbated the compulsion, but for as long as I’d known her, she’d sought out rooftops and large open spaces.
The others caught up to me and I fought to keep my pace even. There was no point in panicking. She was on the roof thinking. She probably just wanted some peace and time to think and was going to be upset we’d all come up to find her.
