by Becky Harmon
“What point?”
“Steph wants you to stay.”
She knew Steph wanted her to stay, and sometimes she wanted it too. She had certainly thought about it enough over the last few days. She wanted to tell Kathleen everything and hear someone else’s logic, but words wouldn’t come. Only Steph’s words kept constantly echoing in her head. “I want my friend back.” She certainly felt the draw between them, but she wasn’t sure she could let go of the past. When they reached the cabin, she held the door open for Kathleen and then followed her inside. Kathleen took a seat in the living room while she poured two glasses of wine. Sinking onto the couch across from Kathleen, Jemini took a deep breath and pulled her legs under her.
“Do you want to know the details of why my mother took me away from Dorothy?”
Kathleen nodded, taking a sip of wine.
“When my mother told Dorothy she was a lesbian, Dorothy released her wrath. She said things it took my mother years to repeat to me. My mother was in shock. She took me and ran. I always dreamed of coming back, but when I decided I liked girls better too, Mom told me what had happened. I knew then I could never come back. Dorothy wouldn’t welcome me back like I’d always imagined.”
Kathleen leaned forward. “And now you have to come to terms with the fact that Dorothy had accepted Steph.”
“And not my mother.” Her tears started to fall again. “Today I found a box of letters from Dorothy to me. Apologizing for everything and asking me to visit.”
“She never mailed them?”
“She mailed them and my mother returned them.”
“Oh, Jemini.” Kathleen moved beside her and pulled her into her arms. “I can’t imagine how painful that must be for you.”
She leaned back, wiping her eyes. “I’ve cried more in the last week than in the last twenty years. I don’t know whether to be angrier at Dorothy for not accepting my mother or my mother for sending Dorothy’s apologies back or at Steph for living the life I always wanted.”
“Have you told Steph all of this?”
She shook her head. “I don’t know if she knows the real reason we left, but she saw the letters from Dorothy. She read one that didn’t talk about the reason we left, only Dorothy’s invitation for me to visit. I think now I might understand why Steph was so angry with me when I arrived. She’d watched Dorothy’s disappointment every year when I didn’t show up.”
“But if the letters were returned why did Dorothy think you would come?”
She shrugged. “Steph and I think maybe she was sending a letter to my mother each year too. We didn’t find any of those, so chances are my mom kept them and probably even read them. Which leaves me with even more questions. Why did she return only the letters addressed to me? And why didn’t she tell me Dorothy was contacting her?”
“Maybe she was trying to protect you from Dorothy’s criticism. I’m sure your mother was doing what she thought was best for you.”
A knock sounded at the door and Jemini quickly wiped her eyes.
Kathleen patted Jemini’s leg and stood. “That’s probably my zombie chasers.”
Chase burst through the door as soon as Kathleen opened it, but Cassie grabbed his shirt, pulling him back onto the porch. “Everything okay?” she asked.
“It will be, I think,” Kathleen said with a glance at Jemini.
“Did the humans survive to fight another day?” Jemini asked Chase, who stood dancing on the porch beside Cassie.
“Oh, yes,” Chase exclaimed. He immediately began to tell them everything that happened in the show they had watched.
Kathleen patted his head, letting him talk while she gave Jemini a big hug. “Chase will be right back with some leftovers from dinner. You need to eat and get a good night’s sleep. Everything will be clearer in the morning, and you can talk to Steph.”
She nodded. “Thanks.”
Kathleen herded her family off the porch before calling over her shoulder, “I’ll see you for our walk in the morning.”
Jemini sat on the porch and watched the stars while she waited for Chase to return. The crickets and frogs chirping around her were comforting and she closed her eyes. So many thoughts rushed through her mind. She didn’t want to be upset with her mother, but how could she not be? Her mother had made all the decisions for her. The decision to leave and the decision to never let her hear Dorothy’s apologies. She would never know if her mother had responded to any of the letters and what she might have said. That upset her too.
She heard Chase’s cowboy boots scuffing along the path and looked up to see him carrying a large shopping bag.
“Leenie wanted you to have a variety so she packed a lot,” Chase said as he dropped the bag onto the step beside her.
“Thank you, Chase,” she said, smiling at the nickname he apparently used for Kathleen.
He gave her a quick hug. “I was told to come straight back and to not disturb you.”
She hugged him back and then watched him hurry in the direction of his house. She waited until he was out of sight, though she knew there were two adults on the other end waiting for his return. Two women that she had grown very fond of in just a short amount of time. She couldn’t think of anyone in Chattanooga that she felt this way about. She cared about Karen, but they weren’t really friends. Karen worked for her and there would always be a division between them. She would never confide in Karen the way she had with Kathleen.
The scent of garlic bread finally reached her nose, and she realized for the first time in days that she was starving. Tomorrow she would come clean with Steph and see if they could find a middle ground together. She stood, taking her bag of leftovers, and walked into the cabin.
Chapter Fourteen
Another all-nighter with too much coffee was making Steph’s head feel fuzzy. She looked around the squad room at her fellow deputies. Everyone had chipped in to help her iron out the details from this crazy case, and now they were all hurrying to type out reports so they could get home.
She looked up at Jared as he approached her desk.
“Let’s go get some lunch,” he suggested.
All of the boys, even John, had been released to their parents. She didn’t expect any charges to be brought against them, although Jared had suggested some community service to help educate them. Charlie Ripkin was in a cell and wouldn’t be going anywhere for a while. Steph had filed multiple charges against him already, and the prosecutor’s office was preparing more. Charlie’s employer was bending over backward to convince Sondra Pace that her personal information had not been shared with anyone else. She was starving and couldn’t think of a single reason not to go with Jared—except maybe that she needed sleep.
She also wanted to see Jemini. Every spare minute through the night she had thought of her beautiful face. They still had things to talk about, but she was relieved to know it wasn’t Jemini’s callousness that stopped her from returning at Dorothy’s invitation. Though she did wonder what reasons Jemini had for not coming back, Jemini’s tears had broken Steph’s heart. She longed to bring back the smile she was growing so fond of.
“Lunch?” Jared nudged her.
“Sorry. I was lost in thought.”
“Clearly.” He laughed. “Was she beautiful?”
She ignored his question though she was afraid the heat on her face might already have confirmed his suspicions. She needed food before she could think anymore. And probably some sleep. She slowed to allow Jared to keep pace with her as they exited the sheriff’s department.
“I’m driving,” he said, taking the keys from her hand.
She was too tired to argue. She opened the passenger door and slid into the cruiser. The comfort of the seat pulled her into it, and she was afraid she wouldn’t be able to get out again. She should be going to find Jemini so she could apologize for her behavior the previous evening. Jemini was willing to let Agnes and Kim remain in their homes and that was wonderful. She shouldn’t have acted like a spoiled brat who wasn
’t getting her way.
Well, she wasn’t getting her way. She wanted Jemini here in Riverview with her. She wanted to go home now and crawl into bed with Jemini. And to wake up every morning beside her. She rested her head against the headrest and closed her eyes. Her head was so fuzzy. Maybe food wasn’t the best idea. Apparently she needed sleep more, but now they were on their way so she would eat first.
“What a night!” Jared exclaimed as he started the car.
She could only nod.
“Want to tell me about her?”
She looked at him and frowned. She had never discussed anyone she was dating with her coworkers, not that she’d ever really had any women to discuss. She considered Jared a friend. Someone she could call if she needed to move something heavy or needed backup. Not someone with whom she’d discuss the woman she couldn’t get off her mind.
“I’m really glad we could clear things up enough to release the boys to their parents,” she said slowly, hoping Jared would take the hint without being offended.
“So, she’s off limits, huh. Okay, but if you ever want to talk I’m here.” He gave her a quick glance, and she met his eyes. “You listened to plenty of hours of me whining about Clare when we almost broke up. It would be no hardship for me to repay that friendship.”
She nodded. Jared and Clare had recently set a date for their wedding and she barely remembered their short separation a year ago. She certainly couldn’t take any credit for the reconciliation because all she had done was listen. Back then she didn’t have any advice for someone in a long-term relationship. Now she would tell him not to give up and do everything it took to make things work. Luckily Jared had figured that out on his own.
He continued to talk. “I can’t believe the boys fell for Ripkin’s crap so easily. I know we’re a small town, but I’m pretty disappointed in them.”
She felt the same way, and she didn’t know the boys like Jared did. It was surprising that someone could manipulate them so easily. She hoped Jared would be able to use this to teach other teenagers. She climbed out of the car when Jared pulled to a stop in front of the diner. They entered together, giving Vikki and Sally a wave as they chose a table in the corner.
After they placed their orders, she tried to concentrate enough to continue their conversation. “I can understand why you’re disappointed. You work with them almost every day.”
“Right, and I thought I had enough of a relationship that the kids would come to me if they ran into something they couldn’t handle.”
“Maybe you can use it as teaching experience. John did mention he thought about talking to you, but by that point they all feared for their families’ safety not just their own.”
“I guess Ripkin knew how to play to their fears.”
Vikki set two lunch plates on their table and refilled their water glasses before disappearing without a word.
“Looks like word has spread around town already,” Steph said as she watched Vikki walk away quickly.
“She just graduated last year, so I’m sure she knew all the boys involved. It’s sad that our kids can’t enjoy their childhood. You know, that’s why I volunteered to work the position at the high school. I wanted to help make a difference in their future.”
“I’m sure you have. Don’t base your years working with the kids on one situation. Besides, these were fairly good kids that didn’t go to their parents for help either. Unfortunately sometimes kids take advice from each other.”
“Yeah, that is unfortunate.”
As with every other customer in the diner, she looked up when the bell over the door sounded. Her heart raced at the sight of Jemini, and she choked on her water when Jemini started their way.
She could feel Jared’s eyes on her, but she wasn’t going to resist the opportunity to be close to Jemini. She slid over in the booth, making a space for her to sit.
“So this is where you hang out on a Sunday,” Jemini said with a grin, her eyes slowly moving away from Steph and looking at Jared. “I’m sorry to intrude.”
He reached his hand across the table. “Jared Miller.”
“Jemini Rivers.” She turned her focus back to Steph. “Are you still working?”
“We’re finished for the moment.”
“Have you been up all night?” Jemini looked back and forth at both deputies.
Steph nodded. “Do you need something?”
“I noticed the cruiser outside and was hoping to catch you. I wanted to talk with you before I meet with Mr. Cross tomorrow. I left him a voice mail about what we discussed yesterday.”
“I need to go back to the station and grab my car, but then I’m free.”
Jemini stood. “I’ll meet you at the house then?”
“Sure, in about thirty minutes.”
Jared was silent until Jemini had left the diner, but the huge grin plastered on his face was more than she was prepared for.
“So, the rumors are true. It’s the newest resident of Riverview that finally turned your head,” he teased.
She glared at him, giving her best shut-up stare. “I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Okay, Steph. I’ll give you a break today because we’ve been up all night. Just so you know, though, I think it’s good for you.”
She shook her head. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Standing, she tossed a few bills on the table. “Are you ready to go?”
He shrugged, throwing money on the table as he stood. The sunlight blinded her as she stepped out of the diner, and she quickly pulled on her sunglasses. She was surprised to see Jemini’s car sitting at the curb behind their cruiser.
Jemini opened her door. “Do you want a ride? Neither of you should be behind the wheel.”
Steph looked at Jared and then back at Jemini. She wanted to be with Jemini so badly, maybe too badly, but why not? Why shouldn’t she spend as much time with her as she could before she left? She walked toward Jemini’s car and climbed in without a word.
“Deputy Miller?” Jemini gave Jared a hard stare.
He shook his head. “I’m good. One night doesn’t wipe me out.” He nodded toward Steph. “She’s had several in a row.”
Jemini gave him a wave and climbed in the car. Steph leaned back against the headrest and closed her eyes. She felt Jemini’s hand rest on her thigh as the car began to move. It felt comforting. She hoped Jemini would leave it there for the entire drive.
“Steph. Steph.”
She lifted her head from the seat. Jemini stood beside her with the door open.
A hint of a smile played on Jemini’s lips. “Unfortunately, I can’t carry you so you’re going to have to walk.”
She nodded, her head heavy with sleep. She let Jemini help her from the car and leaned against her as they walked to the cottage. She pulled the keys from her pocket, and Jemini took them from her hand, opening the door. She stumbled into the bedroom and pulled off her boots. Locking her pistol inside the metal box on her dresser, she undid her belt and dropped her jeans into a pile on the floor. She knew Jemini was watching, and the fog filling her head didn’t keep her from being aroused. She wanted to throw Jemini on the bed and cover her with her body. As her fingers found the buttons on her shirt, she looked up to meet Jemini’s dark eyes.
Jemini crossed the room and clasped Steph’s fingers, dropping them to her side. Walking her backward, Jemini moved them toward the bed until their bodies were in full contact. Steph looked down and watched Jemini slowly unbutton her shirt. Her arms felt rubbery, but she lifted them anyway and cupped Jemini’s chin. She couldn’t stop herself from pressing her lips gently to Jemini’s. Pulling back, she studied her face and eyes, searching for resistance. She saw only arousal, and she met Jemini’s lips again, pressing harder this time as she gave in to the desire to have her.
She felt Jemini’s fingertips graze her breasts and her nipples hardened beneath her touch. She slid her hands under Jemini’s shirt, feeling the fire of her skin. Jemi
ni opened Steph’s shirt and pushed it off her shoulders, dropping it to the floor before taking a step back and breaking their contact.
“Jemini,” she groaned. “Please don’t stop.”
“I can’t. No, you can’t. Not right now.” Jemini cradled Steph’s head until their eyes met. “You can barely stand and as soon as you lay down you’re going to be asleep.”
“Then I won’t lay down,” Steph mumbled.
Jemini pushed her hard onto the bed. “I can only be strong for about two more seconds so I’m going to walk away now. Get under the covers and I’ll check on you later.”
* * *
Jemini didn’t think anything could hold her attention more than the purple sports bra Steph wore until Steph whipped it off, tossing it to the floor. The glimpse she got of Steph’s body was fleeting as Steph pulled the blanket over her body, but Jemini knew she would never forget the imprint of each curve. She was glad she had moved as far as the doorway before the unexpected display. She knew she shouldn’t approach the bed again, but she did. She leaned down to give Steph a quick kiss good-bye, and Steph grasped her arms, pulling her closer. Steph’s lips were soft and sweet like a banana the day before it’s too old to eat. In this kiss was the beginning of something she had waited for her whole life. Something lasting and beautiful. She quickly retreated again. She could wait however long it took to have this opportunity. Steph’s eyes were closed and the soft sounds of her breathing told Jemini she was already asleep. She backed out of the bedroom, knowing she was doing the right thing. Now if only she could convince her body of that.
The blinds in Steph’s bedroom had been shut, blocking out the afternoon sun, but Jemini could still tell the walls were a light foamy sea green. The room wasn’t large, and dark shadows marked the few pieces of furniture that were placed around the bed. She closed the bedroom door to block the sunlight from the living room as it spilled down the hallway. The coral color of the walls spread into a more vibrant red in the living room, making the bright and airy room feel like a beach cottage. The white plush furniture invited relaxation.
