The parson foundered in a storm of opprobrium, scorn, and ironiclaughter. Though the town laughed, it only laughed to hide its disgustof the parson.
People began to wonder whether the teams would attend in costumecarrying the football between them on a charger as a symbol. No suchmultitudes ever greeted a mayoral procession in Bursley before. Thefootballers, however, appeared in ordinary costume (many of them infrock-coats); but they wore neckties of the club colours, a device whichwas agreed to be in the nicest taste. St. Luke's Church was crowded;and, what is stranger, the churchyard was also crowded. The churchbarely held the procession itself and the ladies who by influence hadbeen accommodated with seats in advance. Thousands of persons filledthe churchyard, and to prevent them from crushing into the packed faneand bursting it at its weakest point, the apse, the doors had to belocked and guarded. Four women swooned during the service; neither Mrs.Machin, senior, nor Nellie was among the four. It was the first timethat any one had been known to swoon at a religious service held inNovember. This fact alone gave a tremendous prestige to Denry'smayoralty. When, with Nellie on his arm, he emerged from the church tothe thunders of the organ, the greeting which he received in thechurchyard, though the solemnity of the occasion forbade clapping,lacked naught in brilliance and efficacy.
The real point and delight of that Corporation Sunday was not fullyappreciated till later. It had been expected that the collection afterthe sermon would be much larger than usual, because the congregation wasmuch larger than usual. But the churchwardens were startled to find itfour times as large as usual. They were further startled to find onlythree threepenny-bits among all the coins. This singularity led tocomment and to note-comparing. Everybody had noticed for weeks past agrowing dearth of threepenny-bits. Indeed, threepenny-bits hadpractically vanished from circulation in the Five Towns. On the Mondayit became known that the clerks of the various branches of the UniversalThrift Club, Limited, had paid into the banks enormous and unparalleledquantities of threepenny-bits; and for at least a week afterwardseverybody paid for everything in three-penny-bits. And the piquant newspassed from mouth to mouth that Denry, to the simple end of ensuring athumping collection for charities on Corporation Sunday, had used thevast organisation of the Thrift Club to bring about a famine ofthreepenny-bits. In the annals of the town that Sunday is referred toas "Three-penny-bit Sunday," because it was so happily devoid ofthreepenny-bits.
A little group of councillors were discussing Denry.
"What a card!" said one, laughing joyously. "He 's a rare 'un, nomistake!"
"Of course, this 'll make him more popular than ever," said another."We 've never had a man to touch him for that."
"And yet," demanded Councillor Barlow, "what's he done? Has he everdone a day's work in his life? What great cause is he identified with?"
"He's identified," said the first speaker, "with the great cause ofcheering us all up."
Denry the Audacious Page 24
