‘Yes!’ Millsy says eagerly.
‘OK, I’ll get it now,’ Oliver replies, springing from his seat with an energy I didn’t know he had.
‘Mum, you kept it?’
‘Someone had to take it,’ she tells me. ‘Flora took all the other ones home.’
‘Maybe I’ll put mine on my wall,’ I say.
‘You’ll have to fight Oliver for it,’ my mum says. ‘He loves it. He says it defies a toxic culture or something, I don’t know.’
I nudge Millsy.
‘I’m a feminist icon,’ I tell him.
‘Oh, for sure,’ he replies playfully. ‘I’m just wondering who will play you in the movie.’
‘I refuse to have anyone but you play me,’ I joke.
I catch my mum just staring and smiling at us again.
‘Can I get you some more food, Joe?’ she asks, spotting his clean plate.
‘Yes, please,’ he says. ‘Nicest chicken I’ve ever had. What is that sauce?’
‘Really?’ my mum replies. ‘Thank you. It’s gooseberry sauce.’
‘It’s incredible,’ he tells her before turning to me. ‘Can you make this?’
‘I can’t,’ I admit. ‘I want to learn.’
‘If you do then you can make it for us,’ he says. ‘Otherwise I’m going to have to keep coming here, begging your mum to make it for me.’
‘Oh, any time,’ she insists. ‘You come here for dinner whenever you like.’
‘You don’t even have to bring Cara,’ my dad jokes.
It’s nice, seeing my family get on so well with Millsy. I think, knowing how much everyone loved Lloyd, I would always worry that, when the time came, it would be hard for my family to accept someone new. And while Millsy might not actually be my boyfriend, it’s still reassuring to see them welcome another person in so easily.
Yes, I think we can safely say that Joe Mills is a big hit with the Brooks family. I just need to hope that my auntie and my cousin feel the same. They’re the hardest ones to impress, after all.
24
If only relationships were as easy as my friendship with Millsy. I’m aware that this plus-one pact has to come to an end some time but in the meantime life is just such a breeze. It’s like having a boyfriend, who gets on really well with your family, and you get on really well with his family, and there’s no sex to complicate things. No need to worry about money stuff or future plans. The last thing on your mind is whether or not your partner might be cheating on you. This really is the simplest relationship I’ve ever been involved in.
It’s quite nice, having someone else’s family stuff to go to. Well, you can relax at other people’s family events in a way that you can’t do at your own, can’t you? You don’t need to worry about your relatives being embarrassing, and it’s genuinely hilarious when other people’s relatives are embarrassing. You’re always the guest, on other families’ turf, so you don’t need to worry about doing jobs. You just get to enjoy yourself.
Today I’m at Millsy’s dad, Rod’s, surprise party. It’s his sixtieth birthday so they’ve thrown a party for him at the golf club where he usually plays. It’s Sunday evening now but, when we surprised him earlier this afternoon, he turned up here thinking he was playing a round of golf, so he’s actually dressed in his golf clothes. He fits right in though, because it's a golf-themed party, so we're all wearing dorky golf attire.
I’m wearing a pink polo shirt and a short white skirt. I think the skirt might be more of a tennis thing but I like it. Millsy is wearing a pair of chinos and a baby-blue Ralph Lauren polo shirt.
I’ve noticed Jay around. He’s gone all out. He’s wearing the trousers, the polo shirt, the cap – he’s even wearing the glove. I haven’t spoken to him yet. At first it was just because Millsy and I were talking to various family members, but for the last hour or so Jay has been sitting at a table chatting with a twenty-something woman who I don’t recognise at all. She’s gorgeous, with long brown hair that doesn’t look as if it’s glued in like mine is. Not that mine looks glued in, I just know that it is. Hers definitely looks real though.
I’ve been watching him for a while, casually glancing over at him, trying to work out what’s going on between the two of them. I don’t know if maybe, just maybe, I might feel a tiny bit jealous.
‘Right, I’m going to go and get the cake set up,’ Millsy tells me. ‘Back in a minute.’
After our cake for Fran’s baby shower went down so well (we’ll just forget about all that business with the balloon, shall we?) we offered to arrange Rod’s cake too. What we have is something truly spectacular. There is a place in North Yorkshire, on the coast somewhere, where they make bespoke cakes, and they’ll have a go at anything you could possibly imagine, if they think it’s possible. So we have a cake man (that looks like Rod), brandishing a golf club, ready to strike the ball. His club is actually the sparkler that you light, when it’s time to sing ‘Happy Birthday’. I can’t wait to see it in action.
Millsy has only been gone for a few seconds when I see Jay standing up too. I wonder if he’s going to help him, as unlikely as that seems. It becomes quickly apparent that he’s walking towards me so I try to pretend I wasn’t looking in his direction at all.
‘Hey, Cara,’ he says. ‘Mind if I sit for a minute?’
‘Oh, hi,’ I say, as though I’ve just noticed him. Not subtle at all. ‘Of course not, take a seat. Millsy has just gone to sort the birthday cake out.’
‘That’s why I’ve popped over now,’ he tells me. ‘He’s been with you the whole time – we haven’t had chance to chat.’
‘You’ve been quite busy yourself,’ I point out. I immediately wish I hadn’t because it sounds as if I care.
‘Just chatting with Amy,’ he says. ‘You know Amy?’
‘I don’t,’ I reply. Now I’m trying so hard not to care I’ve gone too far the other way.
‘My cousin Amy,’ he says. ‘Didn’t you meet her at the baby shower?’
God, and Millsy told me he was the one who is terrible with names and faces. I suppose it’s the little pangs of jealousy clouding my judgement, fogging my memory.
‘Oh, right, of course,’ I say.
‘I’d better make it quick,’ he says, leaning in a little closer. ‘Because I don’t think Millsy will be too happy to see us fraternising.’
‘OK.’
‘When are we going to go on a proper date?’ he asks me.
I’m a little taken aback. I think that’s the last thing I was expecting him to say.
‘Us?’
‘No, that lady golfer behind you. Yes, you.’
I laugh.
‘Whenever you like,’ I reply. Suddenly, now I know that he’s into me, it feels easy to be a little more casual.
‘Are you free on Friday evening?’ he asks.
‘Oh, it’s Ruby’s hen party on Friday, sorry.’
‘Thursday? I could come to Leeds – we could go for dinner?’
‘That would be great,’ I tell him.
‘OK, well, I don’t want to upset Joe but…’ Jay reaches into his pocket and removes a small piece of paper, ‘…text me and we’ll make proper plans.’
‘OK, sure,’ I reply. ‘Looking forward to it.’
‘Me too,’ he replies. ‘I’ve had you stuck on my mind since Scotland.’
I just smile at him.
As the lights dim and Millsy emerges with a cake, we all get ready to sing Happy Birthday to Rod. Jay sneaks off as quickly as he snuck over. The only difference now is that we have a date planned. An actual date. Not a pact date, not a pity date. A date-date.
I wonder whether or not I should tell Millsy about it, but I worry it might upset him. If he hates Jay as much as he acts like he does, then he isn’t going to want him dating his friend, and he definitely isn’t going to want him dating his roommate, because that would mean Jay coming over to the flat. I know, I’m getting ahead of myself. Perhaps it’s best if, for now, I don’t tell Millsy that I’m
going on a date with Jay. I should just go and have dinner with him, see how I feel, see where it goes. And if it goes well, which I really hope it does, then we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.
25
I like to think of myself as a good person. I might not be a very good artist, and I'm certainly not winning any Cousin of the Year awards any time soon, but I’ve never cheated on anyone. I don’t think I could if I wanted to. It’s just one of those things that I find absolutely abhorrent. If you want to be with someone else so badly then there’s obviously something wrong with your relationship and you should leave the person you’re with. You can’t have your cake and eat it, you can’t test the waters, there’s no room for overlap. You get to be with one person at a time – that’s just the way it is when you’re in a monogamous relationship.
But, while I’ve never cheated on anyone before, I have to say that what I’m doing here tonight certainly feels as if it’s in the same family as cheating. A distant cousin, at least, probably not winning any Cousin of the Year awards either.
I decided it was probably for the best that I didn’t tell Millsy I was going on a date with his stepbrother. I felt awful, keeping it from him, telling him that I was going out with a friend, but it just felt for the best. And he didn’t suspect a thing – but why am I thinking things like that? I’m not having an affair. I’m just not telling Millsy about my love life in real time. I, for some strange reason, actively avoid knowing the ins and outs of his love life too. I was aware of times he would go out but I would never ask where.
While it does feel wrong sitting here having dinner with Jay, behind Millsy’s back, it also feels so right. We’ve had an amazing dinner, in a gorgeous Italian restaurant, we’ve chatted without worrying who was listening or how it might look, and now we’re tucking into our desserts. The conversation just flows so easily between us, and Jay seems so undramatic, which I like. He’s looking pretty good in his shirt and chinos too.
We’re in Vici, the best Italian restaurant in Leeds. It’s such a romantic place, dimly lit, with little twinkling fairy lights dotted around the room, and sweet Italian music gently drifting from the speakers. I had the most incredible roasted vegetable pizza for dinner and now I’m tucking into their signature Italian doughnuts. Little balls of yummy wonder dipped in a cream that I could happily eat until I died.
‘This really has been the most amazing date – even better than I had hoped,’ Jay says after polishing off the last of his cheesecake. ‘It’s gone so well that I think we might need to mention the M-word.’
‘Marriage already?’ I joke. ‘It hasn’t gone that well.’
‘Very funny,’ he replies. ‘But I’m talking about your M-word.’
I’m tempted to make another joke but I keep a lid on my relentless sense of humour.
‘I have to tell Millsy,’ I say seriously. ‘If it hadn’t gone well then maybe we could have just forgotten about it, but I’m just having such a wonderful time.’
Jay reaches across the candlelit table and takes my hand in his. He caresses it gently as he talks.
‘Me too,’ he replies. ‘And if you think you need to tell him then you have to do what you have to do but, if it were me, I wouldn’t tell him yet. He’ll only try to poison you against me.’
‘He’s my best friend,’ I reply. ‘I trust him more than anyone. He’s done so much for me – he always has my back. Why wouldn’t I just be honest with him?’
Jay looks a little frustrated.
‘Because he doesn’t live in the real world,’ he replies. ‘Everything he’s ever had has come so easy to him. I have to work myself stupid every day, exhausting myself, dealing with animals, getting covered in mud and God knows what else. I earn my money the hard way. Not Millsy though, oh no, instead of working for his money he just flashes his genitals at a camera for a few minutes and cashes a big cheque for it.’
I feel as if I might have just accidentally tapped into the Jay Millsy warned me about, that’s been lurking inside him somewhere. Millsy did tell me that he wasn’t the perfect man he seemed and, as I’m figuring all of this out, it seems as if Jay has noticed his halo slipping too.
‘I just mean that he’ll overreact. He won’t take it like a normal person. He won’t be happy for us,’ he backtracks.
‘I think he’ll be happy for me if I’m happy,’ I tell him. There’s a snippiness to my voice that I hadn’t intended. It’s just coming out naturally as I defend my friend. ‘I don’t really know what I’d do without him now. I don’t want to risk losing him.’
‘You don’t want to risk losing him for me?’ Jay asks, starting to sound a little pissed off. ‘Tell me, I’m dying to know, what the hell is it that you women see in him? The muscles? The money? The man’s a joke, you can’t tell me it’s his personality.’
Jay stares at me expectantly, waiting for an answer. For a moment I just stare at him. The intense glare of his eyes. The tightness in his jaw making my own ache just by looking at it.
Wow, I can’t believe it. Everything Millsy told me about him was absolutely right. Jay really is a dick. Why has it taken me so long to see that?
If I felt bad about being here before, I feel even worse now. I am a horrible, shitty, disloyal friend. And after everything Millsy has done for me, I’m going on dates with his stepbrother behind his back? Things have been great between us. Really great. Why would I risk ruining it?
I’ll finish my dessert, because I’m not stupid, but I’ll make my excuses and leave after that. I don’t want to spend another minute with Jay. Suddenly all I want to do is get home to my friend.
It just goes to show that even the least complicated relationship in the world can be complicated when you try to factor in any kind of romantic relationship – even if it is with someone else.
I just need to be completely honest with Millsy and hope that he still wants me to go to Ruby’s wedding with him, and that he still wants to go to Flora’s wedding with me, but most importantly of all that he forgives me. More than anything, I just really hope he forgives me.
26
Millsy and Ruby might have stopped hanging out all the time since she got together with Nick, but that’s not to say Millsy isn’t still totally on the same page as her.
As Ruby’s bridesmale – or male of honour, which seems to be the term being thrown around this evening – Millsy was solely in charge of organising her hen party, and, my God, has he delivered with something amazing.
I didn’t get in too late last night. Millsy was nowhere to be seen so I figured he’d gone out to see some of his friends and get drunk, even though he doesn’t do that as often as he used to. I suppose he has been pretty busy with all of our joint activities. Millsy might be used to having lots going on but I’m finding it exhausting. Between my events and his, we’re pretty much doing at least one thing every week at the moment, and even when it is just one thing, there are usually a few things that make it up. Like, it’s not just a birthday party, there’s all the prep. Buy an outfit, buy a present, arrange the cake. And all the while trying to work from home too. There’s always that worry, when you work from home, that you’ll get distracted or purposefully procrastinate – or think of something way more fun than working that you can do with your flatmate and do that instead.
When I woke up earlier today I walked into the living room to find out that Millsy had made me breakfast. Pancakes – the ready-made ones that you pop in the microwave, I noticed, lest we have another fire – and fruit. I was already feeling pretty guilty about being out with Jay last night and not telling him, but then when I saw the lovely breakfast he’d made I didn’t think I could feel worse. And then I found out that Millsy wasn’t actually still out when I got in last night, he hadn’t been out at all, he was asleep, in bed, making sure he was well rested for tonight.
The Millsy I first met didn’t care about being well rested. He certainly didn’t get early nights. Perhaps I’m having a positive influence on his life too.
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br /> After we had breakfast Millsy went straight out to make preparations for this evening – insisting on keeping the plan from me, so that I could appreciate the surprise too – which means I've been alone in the flat all day today. I had time to work, and plenty of time to get ready for tonight, but I mostly spent my day thinking about what I had done. I still can’t believe I was so sucked in by Jay’s act. I’m supposed to be observant. I guess I just saw what I wanted to see.
If I allowed myself any time to think about anything else, other than kicking myself over Jay, it was to wonder what Millsy had planned for tonight. I expected quite a lot from him – he never does things by halves – but he’s really impressed me tonight. I never would have guessed what he was planning but it’s perfect.
Back in the day, when Millsy and Ruby were both younger, freer and singler, they would spend all of their time going out in the city. Visiting every bar, trying out new restaurants, going to clubs. At one point (Millsy tells me 2014 is when they peaked) they were the toast of Leeds, apparently. So that was their thing, but then Ruby met ‘sensible boring Dr Nick’ (as Millsy calls him), and they stopped going out all the time until eventually it became a once-in-a-blue-moon kind of thing. So, to give Ruby the send-off she deserved, Millsy planned one last bar hop around Leeds – the ultimate bar hop.
We started the night in Thin Aire, which is where my friendship with Millsy started too, but I felt far less nervous walking in there this time, with my fake-haired head held high. There was a table waiting for us on the terrace, already decked out with silver balloons and bottles of champagne on ice. The waiters poured our drinks and Millsy raised a toast to his friend, and while his words were encouraging about Ruby starting the next chapter of her life, I could tell that he was sad to close the book on the friendship they enjoyed together as singles. I don’t think anyone else noticed though, only me, but my heart felt heavy as I watched him.
So not only have we spent the evening visiting various bars, but we’ve been transported from point to point on an actual tour bus – a real one. A big sleeper bus like the ones rock stars travel around in. The idea was for us to be able to hop around different venues in Leeds all night, essentially taking our hotel around with us. So, at any point, if you just wanted to sit down or use the loo, or even if you wanted to bow out early and go to bed, the bus would be there waiting for you, ready for you to make yourself feel at home wherever you were.
The Plus One Pact Page 19
