But he wasn’t deterred from their discussion. Let’s talk about your schedule. I imposed myself on you today, so I wanted to make sure that we make time for anything else you had planned.
OK, that wasn’t quite what she’d expected, but she could make it work. Most of her plans could be put off until tomorrow. I think all my plans now involve you, me, and my toy bin. She rolled her shoulders seductively.
Dustin laughed and she felt her cheeks grow warm. She knew he wanted her, so how had she messed it up again?
God, you’re cute. I love your energy.
Lena searched his face. Was he being serious? His smile was genuine, like she’d said something adorable and funny. She’d thought that he was laughing at her, but maybe he was laughing with her, like they were sharing a joke.
And he loved her energy? He never seemed to compliment her on the things she thought he would, and it made her feel a little bubbly and warm inside.
Let’s try this again. What were your plans for today? He was still smiling, looking at Lena almost adoringly.
Lena shrugged. Did he really want to hear this? But when she hesitated, his face grew stern and she didn’t want to disappoint him. I was going to do some laundry, but I can do it tomorrow. And I was going to work on a letter to the school district office about their decisions for my program. I need to do some lesson planning, but only for one class. And I was going to make enough of some sort of food to have some leftovers during the week.
He nodded seriously, like all of this was important information. Thank you for telling me. How much time do you need for lesson plans and the school district letter?
I want to say an hour? But maybe two if I get carried away. I can put it off until tomorrow, though. Usually I’m actually much busier, but I hit a week where all of my committee work happens to be a little low, and next week I’ll mostly be teaching lessons that I’ve done before and feel pretty good about.
Dustin smiled, his eyes crinkling. I’d love to see you teach some time. I bet you’re amazing. And I’m sure you’ll tear the school board to pieces. In the most respectful, pointed way, of course.
Lena found herself blushing again, but for a different reason this time. It was like Dustin was crossing all of the parts of her life. She expected her colleagues to compliment her for her work and the men she brought home to compliment her for her body. It was nice, though. Like he was interested in her instead of just what she could do or how she looked.
She wasn’t quite sure what to say, though.
I think we can fit all of that in, he continued. Just remember that you can use your safewords if you need to. Or just ask me if you have a question.
Lena nodded, even though she was still feeling confused. Was she supposed to safeword about doing her laundry?
Then, Dustin switched topics again. What type of movies do you like?
Fuck. She might as well rip up every script she had. I like almost everything. Mostly action movies. Sci fi or rom coms if they’re written well.
He nodded, picking up the remote. Good. Come on over.
This was just… confusing. They weren’t going to have a scene now? But why did it feel so intense? She needed a moment to think. I have to use the bathroom.
He nodded, as though in approval. Did she need his approval to use the bathroom? Did she want to need his approval? You can change into more comfortable clothes if you prefer.
She felt herself bristling. Did he have an issue with her gender presentation after all? Like what?
Pajamas? Sweatpants? A cozy t-shirt? That dress seems pretty soft, though. Whatever makes you feel comfortable. He turned back to the remote.
Alright, so it wasn’t about her gender fluidity. Was he just killing time now that they were supposed to spend the day together?
She headed to the bathroom, then decided that she might as well actually use it while she was in there. And she dragged out a washcloth to wipe away any sweat and freshen up. She checked her makeup, which didn’t really need the touch-up that she gave it.
Then she went to her room. What did “something comfortable” mean? She certainly wasn’t going to wear sweatpants. And she was still very much in Lena mode.
She stripped off her dress, padded bra, and undies, then drew a sheer babydoll camisole from her wardrobe. The white material was almost translucent in the bright light streaming through the windows. The straps were a stretchy lace, and it fit tightly over her chest and then flared out over her middle. She loved how it looked on her, and even more how it felt as it gently swished around her waist.
She usually liked wearing a bit of padding over her chest, but she liked even more the idea of teasing Dustin with a glimpse of skin. Her nipples stood out proudly under the fabric. Then she slipped on a pair of white, satiny panties, made for her anatomy. The camisole hung down to mostly cover them, but the diaphanous fabric left little to the imagination.
She imagined him tracing over it with his hands, kissing her through the fabric. Maybe pulling down the panties and spanking her bare ass, since she still had a punishment coming. Even if she had to stand in the corner or kneel for a long time, which she’d never actually done before but kind of wondered about, Dustin would have something pretty to look at. It was a good outfit for a punishment, and hopefully a reward later.
She strutted out to the living room, feeling sexy and back in control again.
Dustin immediately looked up and she remembered that he could hear her footsteps even though speech was difficult for him to interpret.
She strutted toward him, putting a seductive sway into her hips and ending with a practiced spin.
Dustin looked her over, then shook his head with an amused smile. You’re beautiful. And believe me, I want to rip those right off of you. But they’re definitely not your most comfortable clothes.
She found her arms rising over her chest, covering herself up. His words and eyes both said that he found her outfit arousing, but had she disappointed him somehow? Was he laughing at her?
Come here, he motioned gently. She tried to swivel her hips as she moved toward him, but her balance felt off.
He pulled her into his lap anyway. You’re fine. Come watch the movie.
His chest was warm against her back, and she liked the feeling of his strong arms around her. Everywhere he touched seemed to burn through her, the thin fabric of her lingerie and her bare legs making it all the more alluring. He nuzzled against her cheek for a moment and then rested his head against hers.
He’d started some action movie just past the credits, so she wasn’t sure what they were watching, and she was honestly too distracted and turned on to care. There were federal agents and apparently someone had stolen something. She wasn’t reading the subtitles, so it became a stream of people standing around talking frantically at each other, interspersed with some high-tech maps projected into the air.
Dustin felt so delicious and sexy behind her, but when was he going to get started? Was waiting part of the game? He had pulled her onto his lap, but he wasn’t doing anything. He was just sitting there, with one arm wrapped casually around her middle and his other hand resting on the edge of her thigh. She didn’t even think he was hard.
She shifted experimentally, rubbing against his bulge, but his arms just tightened around her, keeping her in place.
Two of the agents ran after someone and then piled into a car to drive recklessly after him.
Finally, Lena couldn’t take it anymore. What are we doing?
Dustin seemed amused again. We’re watching a movie and snuggling.
Why? Don’t you want to do anything? And I thought you were going to punish me.
I never said I was going to punish you. I said I was going to give you a lesson. This is your lesson.
I don’t understand. This is why she stuck to one-night stands. What the hell even was this?
The lesson is cuddling and relaxing. You said it was a soft limit, and right now we’re pushing it. You can safeword if you need
to.
It sounds stupid when you say it like that.
He shrugged. It’s your limit. You have to let me know if it’s too much.
It’s not too much. But it felt like maybe it was. So I just sit here?
You sit there and try to relax. You can try some other positions, too. The only requirement is that you stay close to me.
Feeling a bit rebellious but not sure why, Lena shifted over until she was next to Dustin instead of sitting on top of him. Even though she sort of missed it. But they were technically still touching.
He just wrapped an arm around her shoulders and drew her head down against his chest. After a beat, he stretched out one of his legs and then pulled her knee over his. Then he pressed a kiss to her forehead and went back to watching the movie.
Lena’s mind was still racing faster than the exploding cars on the screen. Cuddling was what people did in relationships. It wasn’t like she’d never cuddled before.
Obviously, she cuddled with her nieces and nephews when she read them stories. They climbed all over her like a jungle gym. And in college she’d piled up with other teenagers on someone’s bed or couch while they watched movies, feeling illicit and cool for being part of a group that could be so casually affectionate like that, even when she felt a little uncomfortable with her own body.
She’d even awkwardly snuggled with a few dates, back when she was still pathetically trying to do the relationship thing. But it always felt like a prelude to making out, or a cheap substitute for the sex that they couldn’t have if they were meeting up somewhere public like a bar.
Was this about getting to know each other? Was that what this was about? Except that friends didn’t cuddle like this, or at least not in adulthood.
Which led her to the real question of why the fuck this was bothering her so much. She didn’t feel like it should be a soft limit. She hadn’t even thought about it with that language until Dustin had asked.
It just wasn’t something she usually did because there wasn’t any point.
She was confident and independent and happy with her life. Though, the inner voice that sounded vaguely like her old therapist pointed out, it was interesting that she had to remind herself of that.
And now she was feeling nervous and over-analyzing everything.
Maybe that was what Dustin got out of it, though. It seemed like he’d figured her out so quickly. Perhaps he’d actually been looking for somewhere that he could push her, somewhere that he could leave his mark. And since he wasn’t comfortable using the crop, for whatever reason, maybe this was like a substitute for that.
Dustin started gently, almost mindlessly, stroking her arm. It felt nice, but not really sexual. Relax, he signed without taking his eyes off the screen.
She tried to make herself relax. But her neck was a little bit sore from the angle, pushed forward by Dustin’s arm. And it didn’t feel good to be half slumped over like that. She thought that maybe, if they were going to do this anyway, that she might like to lay down more on the couch. Maybe, she thought hopefully, he would play with her hair. But with Dustin sitting in the middle of it there wasn’t space.
She shifted her legs onto the cushion beside her and maybe nudged him a little bit. Dustin didn’t say a word as he moved back to lay along the length of the couch with his head on one of the throw pillows. When he was settled, he pulled Lena down on top of him.
Her head rested on his chest, and although her body was nestled between his thighs, he seemed to be ignoring how she pressed against him. It was intimate, but not sexual.
He ran gentle fingers through her hair, and her eyes drifted closed. She inhaled his clean and faintly spicy scent and felt his soft shirt against her cheek.
Dustin was warm and solid and clearly not going anywhere. Neither was she.
It was kind of nice. And she loved having her hair played with.
She told herself that she could do this. She could accept this lesson just like anything else and just… relax.
Because Dustin was in control. That’s what it was really about. It was a weird sort of scene, but it was still a scene. Just a scene where Dustin was… taking care of her? Maybe that was it.
She let her eyes drift closed, not even worrying about the movie. Dustin really did feel good, with his muscular chest and the way his other hand was now gently stroking up and down her back. He’d lifted up the camisole to reach her skin, but that’s still all he was doing, just rubbing her back in the same soothing motion.
She snuggled in closer and he pulled her a little tighter for a moment, a kind of hug when they were already embracing, and then went back to stroking her hair.
At some point, she must have drifted off, because she was awakened with a string of kisses on her forehead and the gentle rocking of Dustin’s body as he sat up and pulled her with him.
He stretched and she followed suit, though their legs were still tangled together. She rubbed her eyes, trying to shake the sleep out of them.
How are you feeling? he asked.
Fine. It wasn’t a total lie. She was feeling relaxed and cared for and appreciated. She was also feeling nervous and confused. So, on average, fine.
He raised one eyebrow, but she didn’t change her answer. She felt grateful when he let it go and changed the subject.
I recall that you like to cook. Maybe we could make a meal together?
That hadn’t been what she’d expected either. Not that she had expectations, exactly, but she kind of thought they’d either be talking about BDSM 101 or, well, doing BDSM 101.
She finally had to ask. Are you still punishing me for cancelling on you?
He narrowed his eyes and looked almost sad. No. It’s just dinner. Was he feeling sorry for her? Because if so, there was nothing to feel sorry about. She didn’t need a relationship to be happy.
Was it weird that she didn’t usually have people over for dinner, though? She went out to dinner with people. Usually in large groups or when she was organizing something. And she brought people back to her place for hook-ups. It was just weird to kind of merge the two.
Dustin stroked a soft hand over her knee, making her realize that she’d probably been thinking for too long.
She liked cooking. She even liked cooking with other people, like her sister Maggie. And she’d committed to spending the day with Dustin, which meant that they had to eat sometime.
She wasn’t sure where this confusion and worry was coming from, really. It was dinner. She could do this.
She put a smile on her face and popped off the couch to head for the kitchen.
Only then did she realize what she was wearing. What she’d actually been wearing the whole time she was cuddling on the couch, while Dustin played with her hair and completely ignored her sexy outfit.
I’ll just go change and then we can decide what to make, she signed brightly.
Dustin shook his head in mock regret. I don’t think so. I told you to put on something comfortable and this is what you chose. Now you can wear it for the rest of the evening. He walked past her and gave her a small slap on the ass. It’ll be quite enjoyable for me, too.
Shame and arousal tangled up inside her and she wasn’t even sure where it was all from. It was such a small punishment that it shouldn’t have turned her on so much. Maybe it was because it was a real punishment, a real response to her actions, not some fake story line in a club. She’d been disobedient and now she was paying the price.
And then there was the fact that Dustin was obviously enjoying it. The way that his eyes had devoured her when she first stepped into the room said it all. And there was something daring and sexy about making dinner in her lingerie.
That thought quickly spun out into a fantasy of Dustin walking in the door and finding her like that as she cooked a meal for him. He’d push her to the floor and make her service him, praising her for her cocksucking and culinary skills together. Maybe he could come home to find her like that every day…
No, that thou
ght wasn’t an option. Maybe she’d ask him about a role play sometime and she could get a tiny white apron. That could work.
Eager to get started, she strutted into the kitchen, buoyed by his avid perusal of her body. She opened the refrigerator and made a show of bending over to look inside, her legs straight and ass in the air.
Just as she’d hoped, he came up behind her, his warmth a delicious counterpoint to the cool air in front of her. She rubbed her ass back against his bulge and was rewarded by his hands tightening on her shoulders.
But then he pointed out a few things that looked good and asked what she wanted to make. So… this wasn’t going to be a prelude to sex.
They finally decided on enchiladas, since Dustin pointed out that they still had plenty of time before dinner and Lena mentioned that she loved them but rarely made them since she was cooking for one.
Lena thought that cooking together would be awkward, but they quickly got into a flow. Dustin prepared the veggies while she browned the chicken. Then, they both filled and rolled the tortillas together, hands flying as they signed while covered in the spicy red sauce.
They talked about farmers markets and taking long runs through the park on the weekends. They talked about how they’d both grown up eating food from cans and boxes, but expanded their palates and cooking repertoires as adults. They shared a love of cilantro and a dislike for avocados.
Lena told stories about growing up as the middle of seven children and Dustin talked about being an only child. He said that he had Zhong, his college roommate and best friend, as a brother though.
It was relaxed and fun, more like hanging out with a friend than anything she’d done in a long time. Since college, really, and even then she’d been busy all the time and confused about her gender.
But then there was the other side to it. The way that Dustin made sure to run his hand along her ass or nibble on her neck every time he walked by. The way she made sure to “look” for things in tall shelves and low cabinets, just to make sure he was paying attention. The way that Dustin watched her like she was something precious.
Love Lessons (Love Language Book 2) Page 12
