Holy shit! Are you going to lose your job?
Lena shrugged. I’m a middle school teacher with a certification in math, science, and special ed who can sign. I can get the same awesome job with the same shitty salary anywhere. No, I’m just pissed because the kids really need that socialization. They need Deaf community. And a lot of them are several grade levels behind, either because of the language barrier or because they have multiple disabilities. Without someone like me teaching them in small classes, like eight to ten at a time, they’re not going to catch up.
Some of them, though, they’re brilliant. I’ve got two eighth graders now who finished algebra with me in seventh grade and now they’re taking geometry in this class with, like, six hearing kids. Because I know what they can do, and I push them hard. They wouldn’t get that anywhere else.
And, she continued, in case you’re not familiar with the IDEA Act, my classroom is the least restrictive environment for a lot of those kids. Some of them are going to end up in special ed classrooms anyway, which means they’ll be even more spread out over the school and the aides won’t be able to cover as many fun electives. Not to mention that they won’t get as much support with a hearing teacher who’s having to work with other kids.
Dustin admired her fire as she continued her rant.
And I don’t even know where it’s all coming from. The program’s been in place for decades and I’ve been there for six years. We get all of the Deaf kids from the rest of the district, which is four other middle schools, and the parents love the program. My classroom is a crappy little room in the basement without any windows, but the kids really like it. She started to sniff, not quite crying. They know someone wants them there.
Dustin leaned over his plate and pulled her chin into his hand, then signed with the other. No one could be better for those kids than you. Whatever the district says, I know that you’re doing the right thing and you’re giving it your all. If they don’t agree with you, that’s their own stupidity. But what you’re doing matters.
He could feel her trying to look down, but he fought her on it. Her skin was pink all the way down to her chest. He watched her until she returned her eyes to his. I’m proud of you.
Tentatively, Lena rubbed her cheek into his hand, her faint scruff rough against his palm. He stroked his fingers through her hair, tracing the shape of her ear.
They sat like that until she started to relax again. Eventually she took a bite of enchilada, which she’d been neglecting so far.
Deciding that he’d put her through enough for the moment, he dropped his hand and went back to his food. This is delicious. We’ll definitely have to make these again sometime.
She nodded in agreement, not contradicting him about the plan and even seeming eager. Which was really good news because he wanted to spend a lot more time with her.
But he didn’t want to push too far or too fast, so he turned the conversation away. Tell me about the plants on your shelves.
He expected to hear the usual, about how they were easy to take care of or something.
But she launched into an excited monologue, and when she was excited like this she absolutely shone. He wondered if he would ever get tired of her passionate enthusiasm, and he didn’t think he would.
Talking about her plants, though, was entirely different from when she was talking about her work. Before she had been fiery and dedicated. Now she was happy and bouncy, sometimes literally hopping around in her chair.
He just couldn’t get enough of watching her in all of her moods.
She didn’t just tell him about each species of succulent and where she’d gotten it. They each had names. Not like scientific names, although she knew those too, but sign language names, like people.
And personalities.
The spiky one was mean and cold. The one that sometimes grew a red flower was difficult. The one with the yellow flowers always wanted attention. The rounded one that looked like Shrek’s ears was cuddly.
It was convenient that their names and personalities mostly matched what he would have assigned to them based on their characteristics, because he was pretty sure this was something he needed to get right.
God, she was fucking cute.
He felt like he could watch her like this all day. She gave another little bounce in her chair. She’d clearly forgotten again that she was wearing that seductive outfit, and watching her be so innocent and sexy at the same time was addicting.
When the monologue wound down, and he was pretty sure that he could remember most of the plants’ names, he put in a suggestion. Because as much as he wanted to keep her to himself, she also needed some friends. Naming her plants was adorable, and he hoped she wouldn’t stop, but he suspected that she was also lonelier than she wanted to admit.
I was just thinking, would you like to join me and my friend, Zhong, for a game night?
Lena looked at him, scowling, and then it was like a whole different personality dropped into place. She gave him a pleasant smile, the accommodatingly happy one that she’d used on him before. Maybe. If I'm not busy.
OK, so he had fucked that up. But because she didn’t want to spend more time with him or because she did, but didn’t want someone else around? Or maybe because she actually didn’t want to meet new people? Or because he was asking too much when he was really just a booty call? Aw, fuck.
Dustin took a gamble. He knew this was just supposed to be practice or something, but he’d do his damndest to try to give Lena what she needed while it was happening. And he wanted to be honest about what he wanted, too.
He’s my closest friend. And I’m really enjoying spending time with you, so it would mean a lot to me if you would meet him.
She shrugged and gave another noncommittal gesture. She looked distracted now, though, like she didn’t know what to do with the request and it was stressing her out. Ah, fuck.
He put his hand over hers. Hey, it’s just a game night. We’ll be hanging out, and maybe we can invite a few more people we want to get to know. Like Simon from the munch. It doesn’t have to mean anything more or less than you want it to. And you already committed to one evening that’s not about sex.
Her shoulders dropped a little, and he watched her exhale a measured breath. OK, that sounds like fun.
Well, even if she didn’t sound convinced, that was all he needed. That protective spot inside his chest felt good. And it would feel even better when she had some close friends.
Now he needed to get her mind off it. He knew that she was expecting some big scene or something, but the mood didn’t feel right for that. He’d been painfully hard for most of the evening, and he was definitely still very interested.
But she was worth so much more than a quick scene, and he didn’t think she realized that.
She was skittish, like a wild animal. He needed to tame her a little bit first. Maybe not too tame, but enough to take food from his hand. I was thinking we could watch the second movie.
She blinked for a second, and then nodded. Yeah, I’d like that.
She was lying, but this seemed to be a little lie, a social fib instead of a mask. You didn’t watch the first movie at all, did you?
She smiled back at him impishly. You made me fall asleep!
Fucking adorable. I did. And I had a wonderful time holding you.
This time when she blushed and looked away, her face held only bashful happiness. That, right there, was what he wanted. Do you want to watch the second one anyway?
She leaned forward, looking up at him. We could do something else…
Nope. Absolutely not. She wasn’t running the show, and he wasn’t going to let her believe that those moves would work on him. He might not know everything about this whole D/s thing, but he knew that she needed to know that he was in control. He made his face stern. It looks like you need another lesson.
She rolled her eyes. More cuddling?!? She signed it like it was an outrage.
He grinned. More cuddling.
>
She let out a huff and took a frustrated bite of salad. But her eyes were smiling. Perfect.
When they finally put away the dishes, cleaned up the kitchen, and made it over to the couch, Dustin expected her to fight him on it again.
She sank into his lap easily, though, resting her head back against his shoulder and facing the TV. He flicked on the movie and found the closed captioning settings, glad he’s seen it a dozen times and didn’t really care about seeing it now. He hadn’t paid much attention to the first one, either.
Lena was still a little tense in his lap, and he just wrapped both arms around her waist until she started to settle.
It took almost ten minutes, by his estimate, but he wasn’t in any hurry.
When she was relaxed and soft, he started running one hand down her arm. He kept his touch comforting and friendly, like something he would do with Zhong. It felt nice to just relax with Lena like this, and he watched the movie go by with half of his attention.
But that gave him an idea, something that he’d read about somewhere and half remembered. He wasn’t a stranger to making out on a couch with a movie. What he wanted, though, was to keep her cuddly and close while he stayed in control. He wanted her both relaxed and completely at his mercy.
He wanted to give her that feeling she’d had when he slipped the handcuffs on last time. She’d seemed both tranquil and completely aware. Completely attuned to him.
And then there was the idea of controlling her orgasms, which she’d seemed embarrassingly excited about last time. He’d been teasing and refusing her all day, and it hadn’t escaped his notice that she enjoyed being told no almost as much as she liked yes. He wanted to give her more of that.
He found his own pulse racing. It was an exhilarating notion, teasing her and snuggling her until she was beyond thought, but not letting her come. Edging, for now, but a taste of what it would be like if she gave him more control.
And she was so beautifully pliant in his arms now. He wanted to just absorb her through his skin. She was cuddly and soft now. Which meant it was time to move things up a level.
He started stroking across her belly with his other hand. And fuck, was that amazing. There was something about lifting up that little scrap of filmy fabric to find the warm skin beneath that was driving him crazy.
And she had the sweetest little rolls of flesh on her belly now that she was sitting down. He wanted to nibble on them. Teasing along the edge of her panties was maddening. But instead he kept his hand relaxed and sure, almost mindless.
She sighed and pressed a little bit into his hand. That made Dustin grin, glad that she couldn’t see him.
He inhaled the scent of her shampoo and gave her a soft kiss on her shoulder. The dark scruff of her beard was just starting to fill in across her cheek, and he nuzzled against it, enjoying the soft scratch across his cheek. Just because he could. Because at least for today, she belonged to him.
Eventually he let the hand that was stroking her arm explore a little bit further. He traced down to her fingers and up to her elegant shoulders, letting the back of his hand brush along her chest on the way. On the third time, when he “accidentally” brushed over that spot below her armpit that always provoked a reaction, she let out a little sigh.
The next stroke he turned into a caress, just whispering over her skin with the tips of his fingers.
She turned her face to his, asking for a kiss.
Watch the movie, he scolded. He wanted to kiss her. But he wanted her to let go and give him her submission even more.
She huffed, and he went back to the comforting, non-sexy movements he’d used before. He wondered how long it would take her to figure it out.
Only when she was completely relaxed did he start again. This time, he ran his palm up and down her thigh where it was draped over his. He kept his touch solid, moving from her knee most of the way up her leg and then returning.
Then, he started drifting slowly higher. A little bit further in on her thigh. A little bit closer to those alluring white panties. Then down again. A few regular strokes. And then an accidental brush just at the edge of her cock.
She squirmed back against him, which felt fucking amazing. He was going to come in his pants if she kept this up.
But he realized that he needed to check in about something. He wished he’d done it earlier, so he didn’t need to interrupt. He tilted her face up toward him. Her eyes were glazed and begging, so he gave her a moment to focus. Should I treat your body differently or touch you differently when you’re Lena?
She shook her head, her blond tresses rippling with the motion. He waited for her to elaborate and eventually she did. My gender is about how I look and how I feel. My body parts are just there, and they feel good. It doesn’t confuse me or bother me. She looked a little nervous, now. Is that OK?
I think that you are exquisite. Thank you for trusting me. She blushed and looked down.
He was awed, honestly, by her trust in him. No matter how confident she was the rest of the time, it still had to be difficult to put herself on display like this. To be so vulnerable about who she was when society might not understand.
But instead of explaining that it would be easier to show her. Dustin pressed a finger to her lips, like a kiss. Now watch the movie.
She puffed out a loud breath. She wanted to be kissed, and fuck if he didn’t want to. But he also wanted to keep up this, well, this scene they were in. He was starting to understand it a bit more, now, how they were both playing roles.
Watch the movie.
She seemed a little more annoyed this time, but also a lot more squirmy and turned on.
He just held her for a while, then returned to the solid touches. First, he nudged her forward and gave her a little shoulder massage. She loved that, making a pleased hum, and he could feel her muscles start to relax. If they kept this thing going, he’d definitely have to work in some more massages.
Then he rubbed with both hands from her neck, over her shoulders, and down her back. She let her head drop lazily in front of her, but he didn’t bother correcting her to watch the movie. The point was just that she let him take control.
He slowly started shifting his hands, moving them just a little farther outward. He ran his hands down the center of her back, and then his fingertips back up her sides. Slowly, he lightened his touch to just trace along the enticing path over her ribs that he’d discovered last time.
She was shaking a little now, her breath heavy and her body squirming just the smallest amount. She turned back to look at him, pleading with her eyes for more.
Watch the movie.
She turned to the front, but he could see the change in her this time. She’d realized that she wasn’t in control and she relaxed completely.
He felt euphoric. Almost giddy. This feeling was what he’d been looking for all of his life. And Lena was the one giving it to him. Somehow the fight she put up made it even sweeter.
Dustin pulled her back against his chest again and wrapped his arms around her middle again until she relaxed fully. Then he returned to the slow strokes along her arms. Eventually he added those light touches, just a few, along her sides.
She was relaxed and squirmy now, just like he’d wanted. He let his hands explore further now, intentionally not following a pattern. He stroked her neck and then her chest. He traced over her wrist and then across her thigh. Along the way he’d visit her sensitive sides, her nipples, her cock, that tender place behind her ear.
But he never stayed there for long.
She was resolutely keeping her head forward, but she was panting now. He could feel the strain in her body as she forced herself to remain calm and still. It was intoxicating.
When he noticed that the movie was about two-thirds of the way through, he changed his tactic.
Laying out a few throw pillows on the cushion beside him, he shifted Lena’s body until she was stretched out across the couch, still draped over his legs.
She
looked up at him with eyes full of hope and need. God, was she kissable like that. He wanted to devour her.
Watch the movie, he commanded, feeling the thrill of it jolting through him. He was getting wrapped up in this little fiction that they were both watching a movie while he did dirty things to her body without ever talking about them. He remembered a line that came up surprisingly often in porn and tried it out. I’m going to play with my toy.
He nearly missed it as she turned back to the television. He almost thought he’d imagined it. But something had changed. Her sparkling eyes had gone dull. Her mouth, which had been open and panting, was now closed with her lips pressed together.
And he could feel it in her body. She was still rocking against him, but her torso was a little stiffer, even as she’d started whimpering again.
He’d fucked something up again. Dammit. He hated not knowing what he was doing.
Even if this was just supposed to be practice or whatever they were calling it, he wanted to get it right for her.
It was clear that she didn’t like being called a toy, and to be honest, he didn’t much like the idea either. Toys were things that you owned, but they could also be ignored and neglected. He wanted her to be cherished and coddled.
Subtly feeling her up under the guise of watching a movie was hot. Ignoring her felt wrong. The opposite of what he wanted. He wanted her to know that she had all of his attention.
So, he’d have to fix it. Hopefully he could still get it right.
He cupped her chin and made her face him. I’m sorry. I was wrong. You’re far too precious to be a toy.
Her lips actually parted in a little O.
I know you haven’t been watching the movie, and I haven’t either. I haven’t paid attention to anything but you. And you’ve been doing such a good job of relaxing and letting me take care of you. Can you keep doing that? Let me give you everything you need?
Love Lessons (Love Language Book 2) Page 14
