‘Are you kidding? They’re teenagers. Hormones on legs.’ She turned to face him. ‘Listen, why don’t you go up ahead? I’ve got the back.’
‘Trying to get rid of me?’
‘Yes.’ She nodded to Meg and Adrian. ‘Go talk to Meg. I bet you haven’t spoken to her since the night of the party, have you? It’s only good manners to at least pass the time of day with your former one-night stands.’
‘She looks happy enough with the company she’s already got,’ Ben said, glancing at Adrian as he said something to make Meg laugh. ‘I’d rather stay with you, Sweet Pea.’
She frowned. ‘Can you stop calling me that?’
‘You used to like it when I called you that.’
‘Yes, well, that was a long time ago. Look, you’re supposed to be the instructor for this trip. Just be professional, can you?’
‘I am professional.’ He pointed to her compass. ‘I can tell you you’ve got that the wrong way round, for a start.’
‘Ugh.’ She glowered at the compass in her hand. ‘I bloody hate all this stuff.’
He smiled. ‘You never could get the hang of it, could you? Here.’ He took the compass, turned it until the needle was aligned with ‘North’ and handed it back. ‘There you go.’
‘How is that supposed to help me? All I know is which way is north. So, what, if I keep walking I’ll eventually get to the Arctic Circle and be gobbled up by a polar bear?’
‘It’ll help you make sure you’re following the route correctly,’ Ben said, nodding to the map in a waterproof case around her neck. ‘Well, never mind, I’ll look after you. I got you through this before, I can do it again.’
‘Why are you being so weirdly nice to me?’ She leaned towards him and sniffed. ‘And why do you smell like that? Are you wearing aftershave?’
He flushed. ‘Yeah. Hugo Boss.’
‘You weren’t wearing it earlier.’
‘I, um… I bought it when we stopped at the services.’
‘Ben, why’re you wearing Hugo Boss to a Duke of Edinburgh expedition?’
‘Well, I saw it there behind the counter and I… remembered that you liked it. Back at school, I mean, when I used to wear it.’
She flashed him a puzzled frown. ‘What’ve you gone all nostalgic for suddenly?’
He shrugged. ‘I’ve just been doing some thinking lately. About the old days.’
‘What for?’
‘It’s been on my mind, that’s all.’ He looked at her. ‘Can we talk later, Bride? In private, I mean.’
‘Talk about what?’
‘There’s something I need to tell you. Something I want to apologise for.’ He rubbed his neck. ‘It’s not going to be easy, but I’ll hate myself forever if I don’t.’
She shook her head, bewildered at this sudden personality shift. ‘What do you want to apologise for this time?’
‘I’ll tell you later, when there’s no one else around.’ Very briefly he squeezed her arm. ‘I want to call pax, Bride. Make it better between us.’
‘Ben, I don’t understand.’
‘Look, that night – there’s something you don’t—’
He broke off as Kelly, one of the sixth-formers, came to ask him a question about the symbols on her OS map. Afterwards he was commandeered by Mr Duxbury, and Bridie was left alone with her thoughts for the rest of their day’s walking.
Fourteen
‘Oh my God!’ Bridie wailed as she sank onto one of the benches that surrounded the fire circle at their campsite.
Josh, who was helping his friends Kelly and Emma build a fire, looked up at her. ‘What’s up, miss?’
‘I think I’m broken, guys. Have any of you seen my feet? I can’t feel them so I assume they must’ve dropped off somewhere along the way.’
Emma shrugged. ‘I feel all right.’
‘You’re young and newly minted. I’m old and falling to bits,’ Bridie said. ‘All right, hold your noses.’
‘Why?’ Kelly asked.
‘Because I’m about to take my boots off.’
She eased one painful, blistered foot out of her walking boot and rolled her sock down to massage her tender ankle.
‘I can’t believe we’ve got another full day of this,’ she said. ‘My shoulders hurt, my feet hurt, even my nose seems to hurt. And I don’t get a badge at the end of it like you lot do. It’s totally unfair. I want a badge.’
‘You’ve already got a badge,’ Hattie said as she joined them and took off her rucksack. ‘You did your D of E Gold at school, didn’t you?’
‘Then I want another, shinier badge. In fact I want two, because I’m old and knackered now so it’s even more of an achievement.’
She saw Kelly nudge Josh. ‘Hey, that Ben guy’s a bit hot, isn’t he?’
‘I know. He reminds me of a black-haired Chris Hemsworth.’
‘Yeah, like if you took Chris’s face and put it with Aidan Turner’s hair then you’d get him,’ Emma said. ‘I wonder if he’s hairy under his top.’
Bridie frowned at them. ‘Oi. No letching at teachers, children.’
Kelly shrugged. ‘He’s not a teacher though, is he?’
‘He’s a sort of teacher. Anyway, it’s not appropriate.’
Josh glanced at her filthy trousers and boots. ‘How’d you get so muddy, Ms Morgan?’
‘I stepped in a cowpat. And a puddle. And then another cowpat. I seem to have a knack for discovering filth, like those pigs that can sniff out truffles.’
‘Come on, Ms Morgan, up you get,’ Hattie said, patting her shoulder. ‘I’m hoping you know how our tent goes up, since I’ve got no idea.’
‘Oh, you’ll work it out,’ Bridie said, holding her hands up to the now crackling fire.
‘No I won’t. Get up and help me.’
‘I’m still getting the feeling back in my legs. Ask Ben to do it. He needs to be earning his fee.’
‘Ben’s busy helping the kids with theirs,’ Hattie said, nodding to him showing a couple of the students how to angle their guy ropes at a little distance from where the teachers were setting up camp. ‘Come on, up.’
Bridie groaned as she got painfully to her feet. Hattie looked at her expectantly.
‘What?’ Bridie said.
‘Well, where is it?’
‘The tent? I thought you were carrying it.’
‘No, I gave it to you when we stopped for that last break, remember?’
‘Oh right, so you did. Well, then it must be…’ Bridie turned to her rucksack and trailed off.
Hattie frowned. ‘Bridie? Please tell me that look on your face doesn’t mean what I think it does.’
‘It’s… gone,’ Bridie whispered. ‘Hat, the tent’s gone. I had it strapped to the back of my rucksack.’
‘It can’t be gone. How the hell do you lose a two-man tent?’
‘I don’t know. Maybe it fell off while we were walking.’
‘What, and you didn’t notice?’
‘Well no, obviously not.’ Bridie rubbed the heels of her hands into her eyes. ‘Oh God. I bet I didn’t attach it properly and it’s back at that last rest point five miles away. What the hell are we supposed to do now?’
Hattie summoned an emergency meeting of the teachers plus Ben while they tried to work out what they could do about their sudden tent deficit.
‘Right, so there’s seven adults and we’ve got two two-man tents and a one-man between us,’ Adrian said. ‘I suppose some of us will just have to squeeze someone extra in, that’s all.’
Meg cast a doubtful glance at one of the tents that had already been put up. ‘The two-man tents are a bit small for three, aren’t they? They look a bit small for two, to be honest.’
‘Yes, they’re trekking tents,’ Duxbury said. ‘They’re designed to be as minimal as possible, to keep them lightweight.’
‘I don’t think the one I brought is a trekking tent,’ Ursula said. ‘Anyway, it’s a bit bigger than this one. I think we could get three in it at a push.’
/>
‘It’d only be for tonight,’ Ben said. ‘I can ask my brother to drive over to where we’re camping tomorrow with a spare.’
‘I don’t mind squeezing in with Adrian and Mr Duxbury in the trekking tent, if that’ll help,’ Meg offered. ‘Then you can take Bridie and Hattie, Urs.’
Duxbury shot her a sharp look. ‘Oh no. No mixed-sex tents.’
‘This is an emergency though.’
‘What sort of example is that for the children? I’ll have parents making complaints left, right and centre if they think you lot have been bonking on the job. Besides, ours is too small to fit another in unless they want to lie on top of us.’
‘I’m game if you are,’ Adrian whispered to Meg.
‘We don’t have to mix,’ Hattie said. ‘What if three of us girls share one two-man tent, then the lads can take the other and the spare girl goes in the one-man?’
Duxbury shook his head. ‘Look, we can go round the houses on this until the cows freeze over. I told you: we’re not going to get three of us into that trekking tent, no matter how we squeeze up.’
‘Well what do you expect the extra person to do then, Eddie?’ Ursula demanded. ‘Sleep up a bloody tree? We have to find some solution.’
Suddenly, Bridie burst into tears. They all turned to stare at her.
‘Oh God, I’m sorry,’ she said, laughing as she wiped her eyes on her sleeve. ‘It’s just been such a long day, and I’m so tired, and I stink of cow shit and my feet hurt and…’ She choked on another sob. ‘Hat, I’m sorry I lost the tent. Look, you go in with Meg and Ursula. I’ll sleep out.’
‘Out in the open?’ Ben said. ‘Don’t be daft, Bride. You’ll freeze.’
‘Serves me right. I should’ve been more careful.’ She swallowed hard as another sob tried to force its way out. ‘I… I have to go hide, before the kids see me crying. I’m really sorry, all of you.’
Blinded by tears, Bridie ran in the direction of the toilet block where she could cry her eyes out in peace.
When she finally emerged, Ben was leaning against a tree, waiting for her.
‘Got it all out then?’
She sniffed. ‘What do you want?’
‘To tell you I’m not going to let you freeze your peachy little bottom off sleeping out in the open air.’ He approached her and slipped an arm around her shoulders. ‘It’s all right, we’ve got it sorted. You’re taking my one-man tent.’
‘But then where will you sleep? Duxbury’s adamant they can’t fit another in his and Adrian’s tent.’
‘I packed a waterproof bivvy bag. I’ll sleep out.’
She shook her head. ‘No, Ben. I was the one who lost the tent. It should be me.’
‘I told you I won’t let you,’ he said, a gentleness in his voice that she hadn’t heard there for a long time. ‘I’ll be all right; I’ve done it a thousand times. This is what I’m trained for: survival skills. Besides, it’s summer, even if it is a bit of a chilly one. Whereas with your record of bad luck, you’d probably get eaten by a wolf or something.’
She looked up at him. ‘Are there wolves?’
‘Technically they’re extinct in Britain, but I wouldn’t put it past you to attract a couple all the same.’ He gave her a squeeze. ‘Now cheer up, eh? You did well today, tent loss aside.’
‘Are you kidding? I hurt everywhere.’
‘So do I. So does everyone. That’s all part of the fun.’
She managed a weak smile. ‘Masochist.’
‘That’s what made me the rough, tough macho man I am today,’ Ben said, smiling back. ‘Come to the fire. The kids are making a big pot of curry for everyone. I wouldn’t stake my life on it being edible, but it doesn’t smell too bad. Then I’m told that after they go to bed, Meg’s got some aloe-vera-infused vodka we can share.’
‘All right.’ She realised his arm was still around her shoulders, and it occurred to her that she ought to push it away. But it felt comforting, strong and supportive, and right now she needed that, even if the arm in question was attached to Ben Kemp. She still felt very wobbly.
‘And you are taking my tent,’ he said. ‘No arguments.’
‘Thanks, Ben,’ she whispered. ‘I appreciate it.’
‘Bride…’ He looked down at her. ‘You know that I like you, right?’
She frowned. ‘What?’
‘I mean, you know that in spite of everything, I’m actually really bloody fond of you? I’ve always thought of you as a mate. I thought you felt that way too, until… well, I know we wind each other up, but you do know that, don’t you?’
‘I think… I’m not sure. Maybe.’ She stared vacantly for a moment, her gaze drawn by the glow of the campfire in the distance. ‘Was that the thing you wanted to talk to me about?’
‘No. That was… something else.’
‘What?’
‘Not now. Later.’ He gave her a last squeeze and let her go. Bridie felt vaguely disappointed at the removal of the strong arm from around her shoulders. ‘Come on, Sweet Pea, let’s get some grub.’
Three hours later, the kids were all in bed. Mr Duxbury, after staying up long enough to ensure there was no tent-hopping taking place, had retired to his tent likewise, and Ben was with the remaining teachers passing a slightly soapy bottle of vodka disguised as L’Oreal Elvive between them.
‘I know whose idea this was,’ he said, glancing at Bridie. ‘This is how we smuggled booze to our Duke of Edinburgh expedition back in the day.’
Bridie smiled too – and did she colour slightly, or was he just imagining it? Perhaps that was the glow from the fire, but he was sure she looked pinker than she had a second ago.
‘Happy days,’ she said, sighing. She took a swig from the shampoo bottle and passed it to Ben. ‘You know, this part of the great outdoors really isn’t bad at all.’
‘What was Bridie like at school, Ben?’ Ursula asked. ‘I bet she was a little hellraiser, was she?’
Ben smiled. ‘Nah, just a big old swot. Shy too. Hard to believe now that there was a time when she was all quiet, blushing maiden modesty, right?’
Bridie nudged him. ‘Oi. Unfair.’
‘I didn’t say it was a bad thing,’ he said, shrugging. ‘I thought you were cute.’
She raised an eyebrow. ‘Cute?’
‘Sexy cute. But adorable cute as well.’
‘And you were an arrogant, strutting knobhead who thought he could charm any lass in our year into bed just by winking at her,’ she told him. But she was smiling.
Hattie yawned and stood up. ‘Well, I think I’m going to get to bed. We’ve got a long day again tomorrow. Night night, everyone.’
Ben was sure he saw her flash a look at the other two women before she disappeared into their tent.
‘You know, I’m pretty knackered myself,’ Ursula said, glancing at Meg. ‘How about you, Meggy?’
‘Mmm. I could sleep.’
Adrian shrugged. ‘I’m not tired.’
‘I think you are,’ Meg said.
‘Eh? No I’m not.’
‘Yes, Adrian, you are.’ She lowered her voice. ‘Or maybe you don’t fancy a quick kiss and cuddle behind the toilet block before bed?’
‘Oh. Right.’ He faked a yawn. ‘Wow, suddenly I can barely keep my eyes open. Night, chaps.’
Fifteen
‘Just us then,’ Ben said when they were alone. He passed Bridie the shampoo bottle. ‘Nightcap?’
‘Thanks. Better make it the last one though.’ She swallowed down a mouthful and gave it back to him.
‘Look, I’m glad I got you to myself.’ He took a swallow too and put the bottle down on the ground.
‘Yeah, what is this mysterious thing you’ve been wanting to talk to me about?’
Ben looked into her face. Perhaps it was the vodka or perhaps it was just the warm, fuzzy feeling that came after a day of releasing endorphins out on the moors, but she looked softer to him, somehow. Sort of faintly amused, like she always did around him, but without the famil
iar prickliness he was used to seeing alongside it. He shuffled a bit closer.
It was funny, how suddenly the realisation had hit. He’d tried so hard to lie to himself; to convince himself that love was a nonsense, and his feelings for Bridie strictly friendly with just a healthy amount of lust for an undeniably attractive woman mixed in. In the end, though, all it had taken was that evening in his kitchen, and the tender concern she couldn’t conceal when she was worried he was ill. As soon as Ben had seen the look of genuine love in her eyes, his walls of self-delusion had shattered and he’d been forced to acknowledge the answering stirrings inside himself. Now he knew about the velvety cushion of soft, lovely Bridie-ness that she kept hidden under her scathing wit and acid tongue, he couldn’t help wanting more of it.
He’d believed he was immune to love, his emotions remaining unaffected by any woman he’d been with. What Ben realised now was that he wasn’t incapable of love at all; he’d just been lying to himself about the fact he’d fallen long ago.
But that didn’t matter. He couldn’t tell Bridie any of that – at least, not yet. There was something he needed to put right first.
‘I wanted to talk to you about…’ He took a deep breath. ‘About the sixth-form leavers’ ball.’
Her expression hardened instantly, the way he’d known it would, and the old hostility flared in her eyes. But Ben had been thinking about this for weeks and he was determined to see it through. Even if he got a slap in the face for his trouble, he was going to apologise for that night – ten years too late or not.
‘What the hell makes you think I want to talk about that?’ she demanded.
‘Because you’re still upset about it. Aren’t you?’
‘Christ, Ben, get over yourself. Do you seriously think I’m still dwelling on something that happened when we were teenagers? I mean, do you actually believe you were ever important enough to me to even give it a second thought?’
‘That’s all right. You can tell me off if you want – I know I deserve it,’ he said. ‘Just promise me you won’t flounce off until I’ve explained.’
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