‘Ben,’ she said when she found him on the doorstep. ‘What are you doing here?’
‘Um…’ He looked awkward, and kind of smartly dressed, as if he was going out somewhere. He also reeked of Hugo Boss again. ‘I came to show you the T-shirts. For the Sten weekend.’ He nodded to the box in his arms. ‘Can I come in?’
‘Well, OK. I guess so.’
He followed her into the living room, dumped the box on the coffee table and untucked the flaps to extract a T-shirt.
‘Good, right?’ he said, holding it up against him.
The T-shirts were classic stag and hen fare: blue for the boys, pink for the girls, with two special bride and groom shirts in white and black. Each bore the legend ‘Cal and Hattie’s Stag and Hen’ above the date and a cartoon of a stag and a hen gazing lovingly into each other’s eyes.
‘Stag and hen?’ Bridie said. ‘I thought we were going to have “Sten” and let the picture do the work.’
Ben grimaced. ‘Yeah, but when I came to order them I couldn’t stomach it. It sounds like a pharmaceutical company.’
‘You could’ve asked me.’
‘Sorry, Bride. It was just a spur-of-the-moment decision. You don’t mind, do you?’
‘I don’t mind the change. I mind not being consulted. We’re supposed to be equal partners in this thing.’
‘Well, you’re right, I should’ve asked.’ He smiled warmly at her. ‘Come on, don’t be cross with me. I’ve missed you.’
She flushed. ‘Ben, I…’
‘That’s all right. You don’t have to say anything back. I just wanted you to know, that’s all.’
‘Um, what’s the back like then?’ she asked, hurriedly bringing the conversation back onto the subject of nice, safe T-shirts.
He turned it around so she could see. ‘Just like we agreed. Everyone’s got the nickname we picked for them, and then there’s the list of dares.’
She scanned the dares, each with a checkbox next to it for ticking off. They were the usual sort of thing, although nothing too naughty for mixed company: make a prank phone call, get a selfie with a celebrity, photobomb a stranger, convince someone to buy you a drink. Bridie lifted an eyebrow at the final one.
‘Serenade somebody? I don’t remember that being on the list.’
‘I wanted to add a surprise one just for you.’
‘What for?’
He smiled. ‘Well, maybe I fancy singing to you.’
‘No thanks. I’ve heard your karaoke.’ But she couldn’t help smiling back.
‘So, what do you think?’ he asked.
‘They look great. Thanks for sorting it, Ben.’ She grimaced. ‘I suppose I should order one of those stupid L-plate and veil sets for Hat. Why do these things always have to be so clichéd?’
‘Where is Hattie?’
Bridie smiled sadly. ‘Gone to pastures new. Your brother stole her away from me about half an hour ago.’
Ben pressed a palm to his forehead. ‘Oh God. I’m sorry, Bride, I’d completely forgotten it was today she was moving out.’
‘Well. It had to happen sometime, didn’t it? Still, the sudden empty-nest feeling hit me pretty hard, I have to admit.’
‘Here, sit down with me.’
He took her hand and guided her to the sofa.
‘You’ve been upset,’ he said quietly when they were both seated, examining her bloodshot eyes.
‘Not upset really. I’m not such a selfish cow that I resent my best friend getting the happy ending she obviously deserves.’ She sighed. ‘But… wistful, I suppose. Everything’s changing, Ben.’
‘I know. Everything feels different since…’
‘…since the party.’
‘Yeah.’ He looked at her for a moment, frowning.
‘What’s up?’ she said, rubbing her eyes self-consciously.
‘Nothing. I guess I just don’t like seeing you sad.’
She laughed damply. ‘Times really have changed.’
‘No they haven’t. I never liked seeing you sad.’ He ran a finger under her puffy, salt-swollen eye. ‘You want a hug, Bride?’
‘God, do I? Right now, I’ll even take one off you.’
‘Good, because you’re getting one off me.’ He gathered her up in a tight embrace. ‘You know, you really ought to stop pretending so hard that you hate me. I’m being nice, aren’t I?’
‘Sorry, love. Force of habit.’ She snuggled deep into the hug and let out a sigh, relishing the feel of those big, safe arms – the ones she’d been dreaming about ever since they’d held her at camp – wrapped around her once again.
‘So can we talk?’ Ben whispered in her ear. ‘You said we could.’
‘I know. I ought to have called, I’m sorry. I just… wasn’t sure what to say to you.’
‘I’ve been struggling to get the words right too. I actually came here today to…’ He relaxed his embrace a little so he could look into her eyes. ‘You know now, don’t you, that what I told you at camp was true? I really did have those feelings back in school. You were very special to me, Bridie. That’s why I chickened out of going to bed with you.’
‘Yes. I believe you now.’ She tried to bury her face in his chest again, to lose herself there in the warm oblivion of his embrace. That aftershave, the same stuff he’d wear on a big night out when they were teens – the scent she’d always associated only with him – was so familiar and comforting. But he held her back.
‘Wait,’ he said quietly. ‘I want to see your face.’
‘Why?’
‘What are you feeling, Bridie? No snark today, just God’s honest truth. I need to know.’
She took a deep breath. ‘I guess I feel… confused, because everything I knew – or thought I knew – is different suddenly. And relieved that there was more to what happened at school than I thought, and… hurt, I suppose, that you only told me now.’
He drew a finger over her cheek. ‘I’m so sorry. I’d have told you sooner if I’d known it was still causing you pain.’
She smiled at him. ‘How long have you been like this?’
‘Like what?’
‘I don’t know. Sweet. Gentle. Emotionally articulate. Where’s that shagging, bragging, swaggering bastard we all know?’
He smiled back. ‘That guy? I heard you hated him so I thought it was time he retired.’
‘I didn’t hate him; not really.’ Half unconsciously, she reached up to run her fingers through his hair. ‘I mean, he drove me insane, constantly. I always felt that what him and his ego needed more than anything was a really good boot in the balls from one of the many women he’d humped and dumped around here. And yes, I never could quite forgive him for rejecting me when we were kids. But he was fun, and he made me laugh more than anyone else I know, and secretly I missed him like crazy when he wasn’t around. Deep down, I knew that if I was ever in any trouble then he’d drop everything to help me out. And… he was one of my best friends. That’s the truth.’
‘Aww, Bride…’ He pulled her closer and buried his face in her hair. ‘I always knew you loved me really.’
‘Don’t go all insufferable about it, will you? I was just starting to like this new you.’
‘Don’t worry, he’s not going anywhere.’ He inhaled deeply against her neck, getting her scent. ‘You’re right, I would’ve done anything to help you out. It pissed me off that every guy you went out with was too much of a prat to see how incredible you were.’
She smiled. ‘Fibber. There’s no way you thought that.’
‘Hey. Just because I wouldn’t have been caught dead admitting it doesn’t mean I didn’t think it. I even warned one of them off.’
She lifted her face from his shoulder to look at him. ‘You never did.’
‘Yep. Chris. You remember, he dumped you after your third date? It was right before I went away.’
‘What, you were behind that? Gee, thanks. I quite liked him as well.’
‘But you deserved better. That guy was bad news,
Bride. He’s got a worse reputation than I have, and with none of the cuddliness. He’d only have hurt you.’
‘A worse reputation than you? Is that possible?’
‘There are bigger twats than me in the world, hard as that might be for you to believe. All right, so I’ve slept with a few girls—’
She snorted. ‘A few?’
‘More than a few,’ he conceded. ‘But I’m not a Chris. I’m not one of these bastards who gets off on making women fall in love with them just so they can break their hearts. It’s not a crime to have safe sex with people who want to have sex with you, is it?’
‘What, so you’ve never broken a heart?’
‘Just once,’ he said quietly, his fingers stroking the nape of her neck in a way that made her shiver. ‘And I regret it every day.’
She smiled. ‘How many women have you slept with anyway?’
‘Not nearly as many as you think I have, I reckon. I’m sure I’m not half as bad as this despoiler of maidens and wrecker of marriages you make me out to be.’ His eyes darted over her face. ‘God, you’re hot, aren’t you? When did that happen?’
‘Why, was I really such a moose at school?’ she said, laughing.
‘You were gorgeous at school. Now you’re something else as well though. Sort of… sensual.’
She raised an eyebrow. ‘Sensual?’
‘All right, so I was just trying to find a fancy way to say sexy. Could’ve been worse. I could’ve said voluptuous.’
‘True. That would’ve been unforgivable.’
He smiled. ‘Be patient with me, eh? I’m still finding my feet with this romance stuff.’
‘Is that what this is?’
‘That’s what I was hoping.’ He stroked her cheek. ‘I’ve been a pillock, haven’t I? We could’ve been doing this for years, if I’d only told you…’
‘Told me what?’
‘When I said you were special to me, back at school… Bridie, I want you to know that’s still true now. That’s why I came here this afternoon, to tell you. The T-shirts were just an excuse.’
She frowned. ‘What are you saying, Ben?’
‘Well, I…’ He rubbed his neck. ‘Fuck, this is hard. If you laugh when I say it I’ll die on the spot. I mean, you know anyway.’
‘I can’t be sure until you say it though, can I?’
‘All right, then I… Christ.’ He closed his eyes for a moment, as if it was a struggle to get the words out. ‘Fine. I love you then. Happy?’
She laughed. ‘No need to sound so grumpy about it.’
‘I’m fighting a battle with the other guy here, Bridie. The one who’s convinced I must’ve gone off my head to even consider it.’ He drew her to him. ‘Well? What are you thinking?’
‘I’m just wondering when you’re going to pull your finger out and kiss me.’
He smiled. ‘I thought you’d never ask.’
Ben covered her mouth with his, a soft kiss at first, but growing deeper, harder, as all the feelings they’d been bottling up for the past ten years were finally unleashed. Bridie pushed her fingers into his hair, loving the feel of his fingertips pressing into her back, and loving the kiss and his lips and his tongue, so familiar, and yet so strange and new now the two of them were all grown up. She could feel his arousal, his body quivering against her and the echoing tremors that rippled through her own.
‘Wow,’ she gasped when he broke away for air. ‘We’re not eighteen any more, are we?’
‘Bloody hell.’ Ben laughed breathlessly, pushing a few unruly curls out of eyes that had fogged with lust. ‘I didn’t see that coming. We’ve seriously been missing out, Bride.’
Already needing to feel him again, she claimed his mouth for another deep kiss, her fingers reaching for the buttons of his shirt.
‘Will you stay?’ she whispered as she planted kisses on the now exposed flesh of his chest.
‘With you? Here?’
‘No, with Bug-Eyed Billy in Timbuctoo. Where do you think, thickie?’ She nuzzled against his shoulder. ‘I don’t want you to go away from me just yet.’
‘Well…’
She glanced up at him through lowered lashes. ‘You don’t want to?’
‘If you can’t tell I do, then I’m seriously worried about how much you know about men.’ He stroked her hair. ‘I know you’ve been upset today, that’s all, with Hattie moving out. I don’t want to take advantage.’
She shook her head. ‘You really have changed.’
He smiled. ‘You can’t possibly have thought that badly of me. Just because I’ve been a bit of a slut doesn’t mean I wasn’t always a gentleman. More or less.’
She trailed one finger over his moist, parted lips, still panting slightly from their last kiss. ‘It’s OK, Ben,’ she said softly. ‘I know what I want.’
He kissed along her neck, letting his lips linger tantalisingly in each sensitive spot before moving down. ‘Dunno, Bride. I’m not sure I’m that sort of boy.’
She snorted. ‘I’m sorry?’
‘Well, if you’re just going to treat me like a sex object. I told you how I felt. I think you owe it to a guy to make him feel valued before he drops his pants.’
She drew her breath in sharply as his lips fell on the exposed skin above her breasts.
‘What do you want me to say?’ she whispered.
‘Come on.’
‘All right. I… I suppose… you’re very special to me, Ben.’
‘Nope. Give it another go.’
‘And… I’ve been thinking about it for weeks and I’ve realised… I care a lot about you.’
‘You’re not going to get in my boxers with that sort of talk. That’s top-half-only material at best, Bride.’
‘Ugh. Fine.’ She pressed her eyes closed as his hand slid up her inner thigh. ‘All right, I… I love you. There.’
He smiled. ‘That’s the one.’
She smiled too. ‘Feels good to get it out, to be honest. Although it doesn’t half sound bloody weird. I never thought I’d say that to anyone, least of all you.’
‘Nor me. I didn’t believe I was capable of it.’ He lifted his head from her chest to kiss the tip of her nose. ‘Or maybe I told myself I wasn’t, because I never thought I’d meet anyone who’d think I was worth loving back. And then… there was you.’
‘Let’s go upstairs,’ she whispered. ‘After all these years, I don’t want our first time to be squashed on the sofa.’
‘Lead the way.’
Twenty-Two
Bridie took Ben’s hand and led him up to her bedroom. He followed her in and closed the door.
‘Oh,’ he said, glancing at her George Clooney cut-out. ‘I didn’t realise we’d be having company.’
‘Don’t mind my friend. He’s terribly discreet.’
‘He’s a bit off-putting though, Bride.’ Ben swayed from side to side, keeping his gaze fixed on the cut-out. ‘Look, his eyes follow you around the room. I don’t think I can get naked while he’s smirking at me.’
She pushed him down onto the bed. ‘Just shut up and get your clothes off. I’ll see to George.’
‘Bloody hell, this is what you’re like in the bedroom?’
‘Sometimes.’
‘You’re terrifying.’
‘You want me to stop?’
‘Are you kidding me?’ he said, laughing. ‘Keep going, please.’
Bridie left him taking his shoes and socks off to go to her cupboard. She took out a scarf and tied it around George’s eyes.
‘There, happy?’ she said, turning back to Ben. ‘Or do you want me to dig out some earmuffs for him too?’
‘No, the blindfold’ll do.’ Ben shrugged off the shirt that was already hanging open and stood up to remove his jeans and boxers. ‘I’d hate to intimidate him.’
He was completely naked now. Bridie looked his body over and gave an appreciative nod. ‘I see what you mean.’
Ben walked towards her and pulled her into his arms. He heard her inhale sha
rply as his erection pressed against her leg.
‘So? Are you going to get undressed as well?’ he whispered.
‘You do it for me,’ she said, smiling. ‘This is your area of expertise, isn’t it? If we’re finally doing this then I want the full Ben Kemp experience.’
‘All right.’
He kissed her neck as he removed her top with trembling hands, then reached for the catch of her bra.
Christ, what was wrong with him suddenly? Why was he shaking like that? He’d done this so many times he could usually manage it with just a flick of his thumb and forefinger, yet now he was fumbling away with both hands like a schoolboy on his first go at it.
‘Hurry up,’ Bridie breathed in his ear. ‘Don’t tease me, Ben.’
‘I’m not teasing.’ He leaned over her neck to look at his fingers fiddling with the bra catch. ‘Where did they manufacture this thing, Fort Knox?’
She laughed. ‘Seriously? That’s disappointing. I thought you were an expert in the art of seduction.’
‘I was until it was you. Typically you’ve Bridied it right up. Here, turn around.’
‘Oh, give it here. Honestly, you’re rubbish.’ She pushed his hands away so she could unfasten her own bra and tossed it to one side, then removed her jeans and knickers.
‘Fuck,’ he whispered, looking down her body.
‘What?’
‘Nothing, just… you’re beautiful, you know that?’
She smiled and stepped forward to kiss him. ‘Come to bed with me, Ben.’
‘Right.’
Bridie slid under the duvet. Ben climbed into bed next to her, skin pressing against skin.
‘So, um, now what?’ he asked.
‘Don’t you know?’
‘Well, yes, obviously I know.’ He ran a hand over her hip and thigh, trying to smother this strange awkwardness that had arisen in him all of a sudden. It had only got worse when he’d finally seen her fully naked for the first time. ‘Is that all right?’
‘Yes,’ she whispered, peppering kisses over his neck and shoulder. ‘That feels good, Ben. Don’t stop.’
He shuffled down to kiss her breasts, but as incredible as they were, he knew that things weren’t right with him. Somehow, he seemed to have forgotten everything he’d ever known about the art of foreplay. If there was one thing he thought he knew how to do it was please a woman in bed, and yet with Bridie he seemed to be all thumbs. This time it really mattered – this time it was with someone he loved, and knowing he had to get it exactly right was making him a bag of nerves.
Love at First Fight Page 19
