Love at First Fight

by Mary Jayne Baker

  Hattie shook her head. ‘No. I wish… wish I could. No tears.’

  ‘What is it? Not the baby?’

  ‘No. Something else.’

  Bridie sat down on the bed beside her and Hattie rested her head on her friend’s shoulder.

  ‘Now, don’t you worry,’ Bridie said softly, stroking her hair. ‘Whatever it is we’ll get it sorted out, you’ll see. I’ll just message the others to say I’ve found you safe and sound, then you can tell me all about it.’

  She took out her phone, but Hattie rested a hand on her arm.

  ‘Please don’t,’ she said quietly.

  ‘Hat, I have to. Everyone’s worried sick about you. Your mum and dad, Ben, the girls… poor Cal looked like he was going to pass out.’

  She snorted. ‘I bet he did, once he realised why I wasn’t there.’ She looked up at Bridie with pleading in her eyes. ‘Please, Bride. I don’t want them to find out where I am. They’ll only turn up wanting answers, and… I don’t have the strength for it right now. Especially not for Cal.’

  Bridie cast a concerned glance over her friend’s white face. ‘All right, not if you don’t want me to. Still, they need to know you’re safe, Hat. They’re all so worried. Cal was terrified you might be having a miscarriage somewhere without being able to get to a phone.’

  ‘Oh God, Peanut,’ Hattie whispered. ‘I’m going to be a single mum, Bride. How will I… where do I even begin to…’

  Bridie gave her a squeeze. ‘Let me tell everyone you’re safe, then we can talk about what we’re going to do with you and Peanut.’

  ‘Yes. I don’t want them to think I’m in any danger.’ Hattie bowed her head for a moment. ‘Let me do it though. I’ll tell them I’ve gone to visit some of my dad’s family in Wales. My cousin Jen will cover for me if I ask her. Just for a little while, so I can get my head together. I’m not expected back at work for three weeks.’

  ‘You sure you don’t want to be with your mum?’

  ‘Not right now. She’ll only fuss. I don’t want anyone with me but you, Bridie.’

  Bridie took her hand and pressed it tightly.

  ‘All right,’ she said. ‘If that’s what you need. But do it now so they can call off the search.’

  Hattie took out her phone. She’d switched it off earlier, and when she turned it on there was a slew of messages and missed calls – many from her friends and parents, but the vast majority from Cal. She ignored them.

  She texted Jen first of all, asking if she’d mind letting people think Hattie was staying with her for a few days. Her cousin owed her a favour, and Jen quickly replied with a puzzled affirmative. Then Hattie opened up the WhatsApp group they’d created for everyone involved in planning the wedding.

  Don’t worry about me, guys. I’m safe, she tapped out. Staying with Jen down in Bala while I think things through. Cal knows why. I need to be on my own right now and I don’t want to talk to anyone so please respect that. Mum, Dad, I’ll call you.

  She hesitated a moment, then added, The wedding’s off, in case that’s not clear. Ask Cal. Sorry, everyone.

  Then she turned her phone completely off and stuffed it under her pillow.

  ‘There,’ she said to Bridie. ‘They know I’m not dead in a ditch somewhere. That’ll have to do until I feel up to talking about it.’

  Bridie was looking at one of Cal’s notes, frowning.

  ‘What are all these?’

  Hattie snorted. ‘Love notes. Or lust notes in some cases. A lot of them are pure filth.’

  ‘From Cal?’

  ‘That one is, yes. These are all notes from Joanna to Cal, or Cal to Joanna. She gave them to me.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘As an apology, apparently.’ Hattie picked one up and flinched as she read the words. ‘Here. Look at this one.’

  Bridie’s eyes widened as she read it. ‘Bloody hell. Cal wrote this?’

  ‘Yeah.’

  ‘Never knew he had such a potty mouth. It just goes to show, you never can tell.’

  ‘Yes. I’ve learned that today,’ Hattie murmured, half to herself. ‘Never assume you know someone, even if it’s someone you love with your whole heart. Even if that someone is the father of your unborn child.’

  Bridie reached up to stroke the head resting on her shoulder.

  ‘I’m sorry you had to see these, Hat,’ she said softly. ‘I know it must hurt, thinking of Cal with someone else. But these are from his past, when he wasn’t much more than a kid. We’ve all got something like this in our closet, I’m sure.’

  Hattie barely seemed to hear her.

  ‘He never wrote me anything like this,’ she said, looking again at the note. ‘I had no idea he was even into some of the stuff they talk about in these. He’s obviously a lot more keen on getting adventurous in bed than he ever confided in me – there’s a whole side to him I never knew existed, one Joanna was apparently all too aware of. I guess that’s why…’ She swallowed. ‘Why it happened.’

  ‘Honey, honestly, just talk to him,’ Bridie said. ‘There’s nothing here to really get upset about. So he wrote some dirty notes to his ex, so what? He loves you. These are old news.’

  Hattie shook her head. ‘Not all of them.’ She picked one up. ‘This one’s new. Look, the ink’s still bright and fresh.’

  Bridie took it from her. ‘This is Cal’s writing?’

  ‘Definitely.’

  ‘And you think he wrote this recently?’

  ‘I know he did. Joanna told me.’

  ‘Can you trust her though?’

  ‘I thought that at first. I was in total denial when she first gave them to me. Then I thought, why would she lie? She’s got nothing to gain by it.’

  ‘Hmm.’ Bridie glanced at the note. ‘Except breaking up you and Cal.’

  ‘Why should she want to do that?’

  ‘Well, because she wants him for herself, I’m guessing.’

  Hattie sighed. ‘Bridie, Joanna Fitzroy’s everything I’m not. She’s beautiful, famous, wealthy, desired – do you really believe she could be so desperate to get Cal for herself that she’d stoop to lies and forgery? She could have anyone she wanted. I’m sorry, but however much I might want to, I’m not going to be that woman who contorts herself with mental gymnastics trying to get her cheating boyfriend off the hook.’ Hattie looked over the notes and swallowed hard. ‘You were right, Bride, what you used to tell me every time you came back from another crap date. There’s only one kind of man.’

  ‘I was wrong about that,’ Bridie said. ‘Honestly, I really can’t believe Cal would cheat on you. Call him, please.’

  ‘No, Bridie. He can’t talk his way out of it this time.’ Hattie lifted her head from Bridie’s shoulder to look into her face. ‘It’s not just the notes.’

  Bridie frowned. ‘What?’

  ‘Joanna said it had been going on ever since we were away at camp. Her and Cal. Every time he told me he had to go away to a trade show or made some other excuse not to see me, he was with her. The notes make it pretty clear she had a lot to offer him that he didn’t feel he could get from me. And I’ve felt so tired and gross lately, with the hormones, it’s no wonder he… that he…’ Hattie’s voice broke as she choked back tears.

  ‘It’s just so hard to accept,’ Bridie murmured. ‘If you talk to Cal about the notes then maybe he can—’

  ‘I told you, it isn’t just the notes. I wish it were.’ Hattie turned on her phone again, ignoring all the notifications from WhatsApp of replies to her message, and scrolled to one of the screenshotted Messenger chats Joanna had sent her. ‘Look at this.’

  Bridie looked at the exchange between Cal and Joanna and frowned.

  Hat’s off trying on dresses with the girls all day today, Cal’s message read. Fancy some fun while she’s out? ;-p

  You betcha! Still thinking about last time. See you soon, sexy xxx

  ‘That’s… all right, that does sound bad,’ Bridie conceded. ‘Still, there are apps you can use to fa
ke stuff like this.’

  ‘How would she know though? That’s dated from when we were at the bridal boutique. Joanna can’t have that sort of inside information.’

  ‘Well…’

  ‘And there’s worse.’ Hattie took the phone from her, scrolled to the next screenshot and pushed it under Bridie’s nose.

  ‘Christ, Hat!’ Bridie hurriedly turned her face away, grimacing. ‘A bit of warning might’ve been nice.’

  ‘You can’t fake that, can you? That’s Cal, Bridie, I’d know him anywhere. Go on, read the message with it.’

  ‘I am not looking at that again. You read it to me.’

  ‘“Something to keep you warm until you get here”,’ Hattie read. ‘Then a winky emoji. And then…’ She winced. ‘Then the photo.’

  ‘Yes, but… I mean, you can’t be sure that’s Cal in the photo, can you? Let’s face it, one cock looks a lot like another at the end of the day. She could’ve got anyone to pose for that.’

  Hattie shook her head. ‘That’s Cal, Bridie. You think I don’t know my own boyfriend’s penis when I see it? Besides, I can see his birthmark. A little raspberry-shaped thing on his hip.’

  Bridie thought back to the sly glimpse she’d snuck of Cal in the nude the morning of Hattie’s birthday. She hadn’t seen much really, but… there had been a birthmark, hadn’t there? And yes, it was exactly the same shape and colour as the one in the photo Hattie had shown her.

  ‘There’s no way it can be anyone other than Cal,’ Hattie whispered. She blinked hard at the image, then turned off her phone again. ‘She sent me four, all similar but with differently angled dick pics. All dated from the past few months – since the night he saw her again, in other words.’

  ‘I just… I can’t believe it,’ Bridie whispered. ‘I mean, Cal! I know I’ve been harsh on men in the past, but I genuinely thought he was one of the good guys. I’ve known him and his brother all my life.’

  ‘Perhaps those two have got more in common than we thought,’ Hattie muttered. ‘Their dad was a serial adulterer too, wasn’t he? Maybe womanising runs in the family.’

  ‘Jonny always seemed like a nice guy on the surface as well,’ Bridie murmured. ‘You really don’t think there’s any way Joanna can have fabricated this somehow though? Got the photos under false pretences or… or hired a birthmark double or something?’

  ‘Does that sound likely to you?’

  ‘Well, no,’ Bridie admitted.

  ‘Let’s face it, Bridie. Sometimes the most obvious explanation is the only one that makes sense, however much we might want to deny it.’ Hattie covered her face as she let the tears flow. ‘Oh God, Bride, I can’t believe I was so blind!’ she gasped. ‘I mean, the evidence was all there, wasn’t it? The gifts and flowers whenever he came back from a trade show, as if he had a guilty conscience. The boozy date he hid from me. And I was really naive enough to believe him when he said there was nothing to it.’

  ‘Yes,’ Bridie whispered. ‘It does seem pretty damning when you consider it all, doesn’t it?’

  ‘He’s been playing me, Bride, all this time. And I let myself fall hook, line and sinker in love with him. Christ, we were supposed to be getting married in six days! Everything’s booked – the wedding, the honeymoon. My parents have spent a fortune on it all.’ Hattie gave a wet snort. ‘And I… I’m carrying his baby. I mean, what happens now, Bridie? What the fucking hell happens to me now?’ She broke off into sobs.

  ‘Aww, Hat.’ Bridie pulled her into a hug, making soothing sounds over her as she wept. ‘I’m sorry. Just know I love you and I’m here for you, OK? Fighting your corner, the same as ever. You’re not on your own for this – not you or any little yous who happen to come along. With all my heart, I promise I will get you through this. Sisters, eh?’

  ‘Thanks, Bridie,’ Hattie whispered through her tears. ‘Thanks for being here for me. Right now, you’re the only person in the world I trust.’

  Thirty-Two

  Ben watched his brother on the phone from the corner of his eye as he brewed a mug of tea for him in the kitchen at Cal and Hattie’s place.

  ‘Dai, I swear to you—’ Cal broke off, looking half bewildered, half desperate. ‘No! No, you know I wouldn’t ever – yes, I know it’s not something she’d ever just imagine, but – no! Don’t cancel a thing, please. I’m not giving up on the wedding yet, not without talking to…’ He trailed off, bowing his head. ‘Yes. Yes, I understand. Look, just if she calls you, tell her… tell her I love her. I just want to talk to her, that’s all. Please.’ He hung up.

  ‘Any news?’ Ben asked, coming back through from the kitchen.

  ‘Dai and Sandra think I cheated on her,’ Cal said in a toneless voice.

  ‘I guess that’s the natural conclusion people are going to come to.’

  ‘They want to cancel the band and things. See if there’s any chance of getting part of the deposits back.’

  ‘It’s a lot of money for them to just write off.’

  ‘It’s a lot of… life for me to just write off! I mean, we’re talking about the woman I love. She’s carrying my kid, Ben! This is my future – my family.’ Cal buried his face in his hands and let out a despairing groan. ‘Do you think it’d help if I told Dai and Sandra about the baby?’

  ‘I don’t see how, if they really think you’ve cheated. It’ll just worry them more.’

  ‘I guess,’ Cal muttered. ‘Christ, Ben, I have to see Hattie. I can’t give up on the wedding – I won’t. Not without hearing from her what all this is about. We were so happy.’ He choked on a sob. ‘So happy,’ he whispered. ‘I love her so much.’

  ‘I know you do.’ Ben pressed a strong cup of tea into his brother’s unresisting hands. ‘Here. Drink this.’

  ‘Dai wouldn’t tell me where this Welsh cousin lives so I could go find Hat and talk it out with her.’ Cal glanced absently at the tea in his hands, as if unsure how it had got there, then put it down untasted and hid his face in his hands again. ‘Shit, Ben, what can I do? Why won’t she see me?’

  ‘You’ve really got no idea what can have happened to make her call it all off?’ Ben asked. ‘She seemed to think you’d know what she meant right away. Could she have found out about the kiss with Joanna somehow?’

  ‘I told you, it wasn’t a kiss. Not a proper one. But I guess she might’ve heard…’ Cal sighed. ‘Ben, there’s something I need to tell you.’

  Ben frowned. ‘OK.’

  ‘Last night, before I came over to yours… Joanna came round.’

  ‘Again! What did she want this time?’

  ‘She was upset. Her husband had walked out on her after a row. And then she…’ He winced. ‘She kind of came on to me.’

  ‘She tried to kiss you again?’

  ‘She tried to do more than that. I spent the whole time batting her hand away from my groin. First she cried all over me, then she made this big seduction play.’

  Ben felt a stab of worry. ‘Cal…’

  Cal shook his head impatiently. ‘Can you stop looking at me like that? I didn’t go for it, OK? I told you, I wouldn’t do that.’

  ‘Well, what happened then?’

  ‘She threw a strop after I turned her down so I told her to sod off, just like you told me I should. She apologised and we parted semi-amicably, mainly because that seemed the best way to get rid of her. And that was that.’ He picked up his tea, looked at it, then put it down. ‘I’m wondering if the neighbours have been gossiping. I was going to tell Hat about it, but I wanted to wait until after the rehearsal. Maybe she thinks I’ve been hiding things from her again.’

  ‘Hmm. Could be. It feels like it’d have to be something bigger than that for her to refuse to even speak to you though.’

  ‘That’s what I thought. For Hat to run off like that and call off the wedding… it must be something major.’ He stopped gazing worriedly at his jeans to look up at Ben. ‘What though? I can’t think of anything serious enough for her to behave like this.’

&nbs
p; Ben looked thoughtful. ‘You don’t think…’

  ‘What?’

  ‘You don’t think Joanna could’ve done something, do you? As revenge for rejecting her?’

  Cal blinked. ‘Like what?’

  ‘Could she have set you up? Said something to Hattie to make her think you’d strayed?’

  ‘You really think Joanna would go to all that effort just to get her own back on me because I turned her down for sex?’

  ‘Do I think she’s a vindictive, selfish, two-faced bitch, you mean? You’re damn right I do,’ Ben muttered. ‘Cal, look. I never told you this before. I knew you loved Joanna a lot once, and I was worried it might drive a wedge between us, but… I’m the reason she broke it off with you. The job in Liverpool was just an excuse.’

  Cal stared at him. ‘You what?’

  ‘I kind of… I kind of blackmailed her into dumping you. I told her if she didn’t end it, I’d tell you something she didn’t want you to know. I thought that that way, she could bow out gracefully and I’d be saving you pain. It was probably a stupid thing to do, but I was only twenty-three. It seemed like a good idea at the time.’

  ‘I don’t get it. Tell me what that she didn’t want me to know?’

  Ben grimaced. ‘That she… she tried it on with me. Sorry, Cal.’

  Cal looked dazed. ‘No. What? She wouldn’t have done that.’

  ‘She bloody would. I bet I wasn’t the first either. It was the weekend we hired that holiday cottage in the Highlands. You’d gone to bed and she made a play for me. Propositioned me with a full-on affair, as if I was the same sort of moral garbage she was. She knew I had a reputation with girls so I don’t suppose it occurred to her I’d turn someone with her looks down. I think she got off on the idea of boffing your own brother behind your back.’

  ‘And what did you do?’

  ‘Well, I told her where to go, obviously. I said she had three weeks to let you down gently and sod off out of your life before I told you what she’d done.’ He patted Cal’s leg. ‘Sorry, kid, I should’ve told you. I knew how hurt you’d be, that’s all.’