Tom got the Range Rover out of the parking lot under the building and we set off out of London.
We reached the house just after one and were greeted by Sara, the housemaid who’d been taking care of things in our absence.
‘The baby’s grown so much!’ she said. ‘Are you sure you don’t need me, Mr Carlisle? I could do with taking a trip home to make sure my mum’s okay.’
‘Yes, that’s fine, Sara.’
Tom took our case inside, but the thought that Sara wasn’t staying and we’d be alone made me very nervous. This was ridiculous, of course, because we were always alone in the flat in London and being alone here changed nothing.
‘Will you be back tonight?’ I said to her.
‘No, Mr C gave me the day and night. Is that okay Mrs C?’
‘Of course it is,’ said Tom coming out again. He took Melody from me and went inside.
‘I’ll see you in the morning,’ Sara said.
Sara left and I entered the manor house for the first time in weeks with a great deal of trepidation.
‘She needed a break,’ Tom explained. ‘Please don’t get paranoid. I want us to have a nice visit. See how it feels to be here again.’
I forced a smile. ‘I know. Let’s go and see the renovations.’
***
The nursery was finished with white cupboards from floor to ceiling and lavender walls. There was a new cot for Melody and a pretty mobile attached to help her sleep. Tina’s quarters were expensively furnished. I hadn’t seen the choices she’d agreed with Tom, so it was a surprise to see the rooms so bright and cheerful. Her kitchen and bathroom were nice too.
‘I have a surprise for you,’ he said.
He placed Melody in her cot and set the mobile going. The little girl gurgled at the moving animals as they lit up and flashed light around the room.
‘That’s nice,’ I said.
‘Oh, not that.’
He took my hand and led me away from the nursery back to the main landing. We were outside Isadora’s room.
‘Ta Da!’ he said opening the door.
The room had been transformed. The bed removed and a new, luxurious bed stood in its place. There was a large dressing table in antiqued glass and it had all of the perfume and creams that I used already on it.
‘I brought some of your things over a few weeks ago. Stuff I knew you wouldn’t miss. Look in the wardrobe.’
‘Tom … I.’ I frowned.
‘Please, darling, you said you’d try.’
I was feeling bulldozed again but I opened the walk-in wardrobe and discovered it had also been rearranged. Gone were the heaps of shoe racks.
‘You’re not a shoe obsessed girl. Not like …’ he stopped himself. ‘Anyway, I found this in your wardrobe. Darling, I don’t think you’ve ever worn it.’
Tom pulled out the purple velvet dress that I’d wanted to wear two years earlier at the charity fundraiser, when Isadora had different ideas.
Tom’s hand ran over the dress.
‘Will you wear it for me?’
I didn’t see how I could refuse without being accused again of not trying. ‘Maybe later,’ I said. ‘Let’s look at the rest of the work. I’m sure you have other surprises.’
‘I do,’ he said. ‘Let’s go for a walk.’
We collected Melody, and Tom got the pram out of the car. Then I placed her inside. We took a walk around the house and there, near the woods, at the back of the kitchen was the beginnings of a small play area.
‘This will have a swing, slide, seesaw. Everything. And the ground will be surfaced with this soft substance that looks like tarmac but is actually spongey. If she falls it will be hard to hurt herself.’
‘It’s lovely!’ I said genuinely impressed.
‘Pick her up. Let me get a photo of you both as a before and after picture with the play area behind you.’
I let him take the picture and then found myself enjoying both his company and being back at the Manor. It was the most relaxed I’d felt in a long time.
‘We can be happy here, Char,’ he said noticing my change of mood. Then he kissed me on the lips for the first time in a while.
I let him be the one to pull away. He was happy and smiling after that and was delighted to be out in the open air.
‘This is what we can’t have in the city,’ he said.
‘I know. It’s lovely here,’ I said. Then I bit my lip.
‘It’s okay to relax with me,’ he said. ‘I want us to get back to being normal. I can’t stand how distant we are these days. Please. Please …’
His eyes filled with tears, and I had to hug him.
‘We’ll be okay? Won’t we?’ he said.
‘I am relaxed,’ I said. ‘I’m having fun. This is a good start.’
Melody was worn out with the fresh air and we put her to bed in her new room. Tom had thought of everything. He had even had a baby monitor wired in that had a portable console we could carry around the house with us. It was such a big house I don’t think either of us would have relaxed otherwise.
‘I’ll make dinner. Why don’t you try out the new bathroom and change?’
I didn’t object because Tom was like his old self. Stress-free and happy and I did enjoy seeing him this way. It was so exhausting being unhappy all the time and so it was a relief to feel better, even if it was only temporary. I went upstairs and ran a bath. When I came out into the bedroom to remove my clothes I found the purple dress laid out on the bed and thought, why not?
***
‘You look … stunning,’ said Tom as I came downstairs to the formal dining room.
I hadn’t tried the dress on since that night and I had forgotten how it clung to me; I’d lost weight recently but the dress made my slender frame look curvy.
Tom handed me a glass of champagne. ‘To us,’ he said and he chinked my glass.
I sipped the wine and felt very calm. There was no anxiety or panic and I was happy to feel attractive. Tom’s admiration wasn’t so repellent either. Maybe the pills were working to soothe my nerves after all.
‘Dinner is almost ready,’ he said. Then he pulled me into his arms and delivered a warm, gentle kiss to my lips. He held me for a while, stroking his hand down my back until it rested on the top of my waist. Then it slipped lower and he cupped my bottom.
I pulled away and reached for my glass again.
Tom came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me.
‘Sorry. You look amazing and …’
His hand cupped my breast. The champagne was doing its job and I felt a surge of lust, but also a rush of nerves
‘What about dinner?’ I said trying to distract him.
He let me go and I was both relieved and slightly disappointed. There was a nervous sexual tension between us. It was confusing. I liked it and feared it.
‘I’ll go and get dinner,’ he said. ‘Sit down.’
He came back with two bowls of a beef casserole.
‘You didn’t make this,’ I laughed.
‘You got me.’ he smiled. ‘Sara put it on for us before she left. It’s been stewing all day.’
I shook my head. ‘Well, thank you for serving it!’ I said.
Earlier, Tom had brought an expensive bottle of red wine up from the cellar and decanted it. He poured us both a glass to have with the casserole.
He brought in a plate of warmed crusty rolls and butter as well.
The food was delicious and I found myself relaxing more as the wine went down too easily.
After dinner Tom attached his iPod to the stereo and put some music through the speakers in the room. Then he pulled me to my feet and into his arms for a slow dance.
‘It’s okay,’ he said when I tried to pull away. ‘You’re like a frightened little bird. I won’t force anything. Can’t we just enjoy this? Touch each other a little? It’s been so long, Char?’
I tried to relax in his arms and accepted the groping.
‘Your arse looks and feels w
onderful in this dress.’
He kissed me again, more insistent but not forceful. Then, just like that, he stopped.
‘Okay. I guess we need some sleep.’
I was relieved that he hadn’t pursued things as we went upstairs. But a little confused as he went from being aroused by me, to completely shutting down. He was either pretending or had developed a great deal of self-control.
‘Are you okay?’ I said as we went upstairs.
‘Yes. I’m doing as I’m supposed to,’ he said.
‘What do you mean?’
‘Louise told me I had to keep my hands off you if I hoped to keep you.’
I was surprised to hear him say this and that he took so much notice of his therapist. It was a good thing though.
‘Thank you,’ I said and then I kissed him on the lips.
‘I’ll get you some water so that you can take your meds,’ he said.
I checked on Melody and found her sound asleep. She was settling well at night and sleeping right through.
‘You’re such a good girl,’ I said to her.
Back in the bedroom I found the water and pill by my side of the bed. Tom wasn’t there and so I took the pill and then went into the bathroom. This time I couldn’t finish brushing my teeth; I became overwhelmed with exhaustion.
‘Char?’ said Tom as I staggered towards the bed.
He caught me before I went completely unconscious. He picked me up and carried me to the bed.
‘The pills work so fast …’ I said.
His eyes looked down at me, I was still wearing the purple dress, and they became filled with excitement. His hands stroked over the velvet again.
I tried to fight the sleep as it overtook me.
‘I want you so much,’ he said.
Chapter Forty-Eight
Tom was leaning on his arm watching me when I woke. He was smiling and flirty.
‘Are you okay?’ he said.
‘Groggy.’
I lay back and stretched. I was still very sleepy and I hadn’t much enjoyed the feeling of completely blacking out fully clothed.
My eyes fell on the purple dress, now lying across my dressing table stool. I lifted the covers and found I was wearing one of my nightgowns. I squeezed my eyes shut. I tried not to think about Tom stripping and changing me while I didn’t know what he was doing.
I opened my eyes and found Tom still looking at me.
‘Did you …?’
‘Of course I didn’t. You were unconscious.’
I sighed then rubbed the sleep from my eyes trying to ignore the intense way he was studying me.
‘Char?’ he said.
I glanced at him and then away. I wished he’d stop looking at me like that. So needy. So … He pulled me to him and kissed me. I didn’t resist, or respond.
‘Please,’ he begged between kisses. ‘Please, Char. I love you so much!’
The situation was as it was. And so, I let him. I knew I was falling back into my old submissive patterns again but I couldn’t help it. He was so intense it made me feel vulnerable: I didn’t know what would happen if I refused.
After breakfast I went up to our room and started to pack the overnight case while Melody lay on our bed. Then I heard something outside. I picked up Melody, left the bedroom and traipsed downstairs.
‘Another surprise, darling,’ Tom said. ‘We’re moving in today!’
I had no opportunity to object as he opened the door and there was Tina and a removal van.
‘Hey!’ Tina said. ‘Surprise!’
Tina’s smile dropped when she saw my expression. I couldn’t hold the disappointment and shock from showing on my face even as I stepped back and watched the movers bringing in all of my personal things. I watched them taking boxes upstairs to Isadora’s old room under Tom’s direction. A sick, sinking feeling consumed me. I hurried into the downstairs bathroom and vomited.
***
‘You should have warned me he was planning this,’ I said. ‘I wouldn’t have come. I don’t like to be tricked and I’m not ready.’
‘I’m so sorry, Charlotte. He told me things were okay with you two!’ Tina said.
She was distraught that not only had I been tricked but so had she.
I shook my head. I was trapped and very scared. I didn’t know what to do. All the time I fought the rising panic that wanted to take hold of me. The urge to flee was so strong that all I could think of was what Becki would say about it: follow your instinct not your head.
Tina put her hand on my arm. It broke the spell my dread had me under.
‘I’m really sorry. I know things have been … difficult … but I’m here as well. You aren’t alone. Let’s see how things settle. If it doesn’t work out then we’ll leave with Melody. I’m on your side, Charlotte.’
I took a breath and forced myself to calm down. She was right. Having her and the residential staff did guarantee that Tom and I were never really on our own. Perhaps this would be better than being in the flat with him where it was just him, me and Melody. At least the house was big and I could always find somewhere to be away from Tom if I wanted.
I regretted giving in to Tom that morning though. I was uneasy because I knew this meant I’d agreed to our relationship normalizing sexually. A situation I wasn’t a hundred per cent ready for. With everything that had happened in recent months it was difficult to reconcile all of my emotions against all of the revelations. This meant that, typically, I had fallen back into my role of capitulation. It frustrated me. It angered me too.
I left Tina and went off to find Tom to give him a piece of my mind. I had to stand up for myself, and insist on those boundaries. Maybe I’d even move into one of the other bedrooms. At least here there was a choice.
Tom was in the garden looking at the groundwork of the mini-playground again. He was smiling as he looked over the ground and the thin grove that had once been Isadora’s spring flower beds.
‘You shouldn’t have done this,’ I said behind him. ‘You’ve taken control from me again. It’s bang out of order!’
His expression went dark, he looked angry, then his features smoothed and he smiled again.
‘Your therapist won’t be impressed by how you’ve pushed things.’ I was angry and I let him know it.
‘Sweetheart,’ he said, ‘I don’t know why I did it. I should have consulted you. It was impulsive … Look, I’m heading back to the flat this afternoon and you will have all the time you want here. You’re right. But I know we can make it work. I just thought here, we might have a fresh start. Thank you for this morning. It was wonderful to feel close to you again.’
The wind was taken out of my sails again. He was an expert at doing that. Tom kissed me on the head and hugged me.
The anxiety washed away from me with the thought of him gone.
‘I’ll leave you the Range Rover so that you can go out with Melody and Tina,’ he continued. ‘Let’s go and unpack. My suits and some personal stuff are still at the flat, but I’ve had everything of yours brought here. I thought you’d be upset otherwise.’
Everything of mine had been brought here … Had every trace of me and Melody been removed from the London flat? I tried not to think too much about what that meant.
I went up to Isadora’s bedroom – I still couldn’t think of it as ours – and waded through the boxes, hanging up my clothes and storing my jewellery and toiletries, while Tom unpacked all of his more casual clothes onto the other side of the walk-in. I didn’t speak to him while we worked, pretending to be concentrating on the task. But each time I took out a personal item I weighed up whether I would need it if I took Melody and left. I was even more ready to flee than I’d been before. And I felt, instead of anxiety, a burgeoning rage.
A few hours later Stefan turned up in the limo, and Tom returned to London with a small bag containing his toiletries.
‘I’ll need two sets. Some there and some here,’ he had said. ‘I’ve left you a list of things to buy for me
this week. It’s on the dressing table.’
I didn’t answer. He kissed me on the head and left.
Sara made a roast dinner for Tina and me that night.
‘Mr C said you both had to be looked after,’ she said.
It wouldn’t be usual that Tina would eat with us as the plan was she had her own space in the house just as we did. It was difficult for me to know how to behave in this situation ultimately. Whenever we’d visited Isadora, the help had never joined us for dinner. But Tina had become closer to me than that. This was someone I trusted to care for my child and we had a growing friendship too. Equally, it would be just as weird to have her around us all the time.
After dinner we retired to our rooms. I took Melody’s monitor with me, even though Tina was in the room next door. We’d agreed certain days and nights when she wouldn’t be working just as we had in London. That night was one of Tina’s but I was finding it difficult to relax and leave Melody to her if she woke.
Although I knew I didn’t need to worry, I wasn’t sure I wanted to take another of the pills – they were making me too sleepy too quickly and I needed to be more alert for Melody on my ‘on’ nights.
I relaxed and watched some television instead and I let the day’s stresses wash away.
Tom’s absence relieved a huge amount of pressure. I didn’t have to talk, or be polite, or ‘try’ to make things work. I didn’t have to do anything. It was the most relaxed I’d felt in a long time.
I heard Melody stirring a little on the monitor. Tina was on the ball and she hurried into the room.
‘There’s a good girl,’ she cooed.
Melody settled down and all went quiet, then Tina’s phone rang. Tina answered it in hushed tones.
‘Hi Tom,’ she said.
I sat up and picked up the monitor, turning up the volume.
‘All is okay … No, Melody is fine … Charlotte was angry with me for not warning her.’
There was a long pause as Tom obviously replied at length.
‘Paranoid?’ said Tina then. ‘Yes. She is. You’re right. But don’t worry, things will improve.’
The call ended and I didn’t know how to react. My brain was overloading again. Could it be that Tina was conspiring with Tom?
The Stranger in Our Bed: An absolutely gripping psychological thriller that will keep you hooked Page 23
