I groaned as I slammed into a ridiculously hard, large body. Drayven’s entire frame vibrated beneath my touch, and I blinked, trying to steady myself. I was getting high off my own magic or something.
“Get off me,” I growled, pushing away from Drayven, or trying to. I thought he was just doing the typical annoying bodyguard role he had assumed since coming here. Unfortunately, I'd clearly missed the extent of the tension in the room.
When I looked up at Drayven’s face, I immediately stilled. His gaze was locked on Adrien, and his expression was frankly beyond chilling. I swallowed nervously, seeing Drayven's jaw tighten as if he felt my gaze. Then he looked down at me with eyes that flashed with neon green. Ah, shit.
This was bad. Very, very bad. I had no idea what his deal was, but this had to stop. Now. I’d never seen Drayven lose it, but I could tell he was nearly there.
“Dray, stop.” My words were a hard command as my gaze flickered over to Adrien, who was watching Drayven with complete indifference. Well, attempted indifference. I had a feeling he was ready for Drayven to attack and more than prepared. His gaze flickered to where Drayven had a firm, nearly bruising, hold on my frame.
“Let go of her, Drayven.” Adrien’s voice was smooth, and there was a lethality to it. “Let go of her and get the fuck out of my house’s quarters.” Is that where we were?
“We are leaving.” Drayven’s voice was rough with emotion that blazed in his gaze as I tugged my body away from his. He let out an ominous growl.
“Ama, this is not the fucking time. We are leaving. Now.”
“No.” I kept my face blank. “No, Drayven, I am spending time with Adrien.”
“Damn it, Ama. Now,” he hissed, and I nearly listened to him, my toes curling as I tried not to think about why his demanding tone was so appealing.
“You don’t have to go anywhere.” Adrien appeared behind me, placing a hand on my hip. “He knows that. He just doesn’t like it.”
“I don’t give a fuck who you are. I will snap your fingers one by one if you don’t get them off her.” My eyes widened at Drayven’s threat and my breathing hitched.
Adrien chuckled softly, “I more than welcome the attempt, but I would much rather be using my fingers for other, more enjoyable things.”
My cheeks flamed with color as I watched Drayven teeter on the edge of control. It was both addicting and dangerous to watch. I shook my head and stepped away from both of them, swallowing and running a nervous hand through my hair.
“I am going to go,” I muttered, hating how confused Drayven had made me feel with his territorial and demanding personality the past two days. I’d been elated that I’d kissed Adrien and felt such a deep connection, and now I was pissed that Drayven had managed to ruin another moment for me. How? How did the man always manage to do that? It had to be his favorite hobby in life.
Adrien raised my hand to his mouth, dropped a soft kiss to the top, and whispered, “I’ll be seeing you, beauty.”
I gave him a soft smile and strode from the room, fury at Drayven growing inside of me. Questions began to gather in my head, and my breaths grew uneven. I was so lost in my thoughts as I stormed towards our room that I barely heard Drayven growling out my name from behind me. After I slammed open the door to our suite and walked to the center of the room, I turned and pinned Drayven with a withering look.
The man looked unraveled—his hair was messy and his eyes pulsed green as if he was barely controlling his magic.
“Why?” I hissed, my eyes prickling with tears of anger. “Why can’t you just let me be happy?”
“He isn’t right for you,” Drayven bit out, his hand raking through his silver hair roughly.
“Isn’t right for me?” I seethed. “Is it so damn hard to imagine a world where someone wants me, Drayven? Where someone actually looks at me as more than just a hybrid? Why can’t you just let me be fucking happy? Why can’t you leave me alone when I manage to find some small measure of happiness? First with Finias, and now with Adrien.”
He was in my space then, and I fell back against the couch, suddenly overwhelmed by him. “I will never leave you alone, Ama. Absolutely never.”
I let out a growl of frustration, shoving him in the chest as he loomed above me, “Why, Drayven? Why won’t you leave me alone?!” I practically screamed the last part, feeling exhausted by this emotional push and pull with him. “Why can’t you let me feel cared about and not so damn alone?” The last part was whispered, and I wished I could shove the words back inside, because it hurt to say them aloud.
Tension crackled in the air as he grabbed my jaw and spoke predatorily, “You think you’re undesirable and that no one wanted you, Ama? No. It’s because I refused to accept that any of them were good enough to lay a fucking finger on you. And I’ve finally accepted why that is. Because you. Are. Mine.”
Excuse me? What the...
My brain stuttered to a stop as my mouth popped open, “What? What the hell are you--”
Soft yet firm lips seared against mine, and everything around me came to a grinding halt. The room crackled with tension and pleasure. Pure, euphoric happiness surged through me as my magic explored him. Panic ran rampant because the kiss deepened, and I wondered briefly how he was still kissing me with such intensity. My magic was out. It was playing with his power, and it should have been draining him like it had the last time…
But it wasn’t.
The magic-filled kiss was suddenly ice cold, and I ripped my face away from his, feeling my heart stutter to a stop. Drayven was fine. My magic was doing exactly what it had last time…and he was fine. I saw when the reality of his mistake hit him, panic and concern flashing through his gaze.
“Drayven.” My voice was soft and dangerous.
“Ama,” his voice choked.
“No,” I shook my head as tears welled in my eyes, “Absolutely fucking not. Explain now. Explain why you and Adrien are both perfectly fine after kissing me. Nothing has changed. My magic is as deadly as ever, so why aren’t you fucking dead?”
Guilt. So much guilt filled his features, and he crouched in front of me, his hands tightening on my legs. My fingers curled in on themselves, nails biting into my skin, as I waited for the truth. The truth that I could feel was about to shatter my heart into a million tiny fucking pieces.
“I don’t know.”
“You don’t know?” I echoed. “You don’t know why you aren’t dead, or you don’t know why you lied? Because that’s what happened, isn’t it? You lied. I never fucking hurt you. Our kiss was never—”
Betrayal slammed into me. I had felt so guilty, so horrible, for so long because of his accusation. People had hated me. People had relentlessly rejected me because of what he’d started. It was bad enough that I was a hybrid, but for people to treat me like I had some kind of disease that could kill them? Tears streamed down my face as he watched me with a helpless expression.
“Admit it.” My voice was far more controlled than I would have expected. Especially considering the man was shattering my heart. Any wall I thought I'd erected against Drayven was obviously non-existent in truth.
His voice was rough as he looked down at the floor, “Ama, you have to understand—”
“Admit it,” I hissed, leaning forward so we were closer. “Fucking admit it, Drayven.”
“Your kiss never hurt me!” he roared, slamming his fist into the couch beside me as his words settled like rocks hitting the bottom of a well in my chest. Hollow and empty.
I blinked away my tears, feeling a cold chill roll over me as I asked, “Why?”
“I told you. Because you’re mine,” he whispered, his voice strained and his eyes pleading for me to understand. “There was only one way to ensure everyone would leave you alone.”
“You made me a pariah in my own home.”
“It didn't start like that.” He sat back on his heels, “Before I even really started spending time with you, I was told that you would be considered the enemy…th
e thing between me and the throne. The council for the House of Death was grooming me to take over your father’s position so that there was a different option available rather than you.”
His words were cold and almost robotic. I knew it. I knew it, but that didn’t make it hurt any less. “I was young, and I ate up what they told me…and then I met you.”
“And?”
“I had never met someone so fucking perfect in my life.” His words were angry—almost hateful—despite what he was saying, “I was filled with so much anger and confusion. I felt betrayed by what I’d been told, but I still felt loyalty to the council. So, I did something to both distance you from the throne and make sure no one else touched you…touched what was mine.”
“You made me an outcast.” A weird numbness settled over me, and I felt like I was having some sort of odd, out of body experience.
“Yes.” His words were whispered as he looked at my shoulder, shame evident in his face.
I felt so much in that moment. Anger, betrayal, sympathy, affection, heartbreak…all of it slammed into me in a confusing mix that had my head pounding. I pressed my hand to his chest, but he refused to move, his hands tightening on the fabric on either side of me.
“Ama, please—”
“Leave.” My words were cold and hard. Unwavering.
“No.” His temper flared again, “Absolutely not.”
“I wasn’t giving you an option,” I hissed, pushing against him with enough force that it surprised him, and he jerked back. I escaped his hold and ran towards my bedroom door. My bedroom. Not fucking his, and most definitely not ours anymore.
“You have to understand—”
I spun around, “I don’t have to understand shit, Dray. Get the hell out of here. I don’t care where you sleep, but it is not going to be here.”
I slammed the bedroom doors closed, locking them and leaning against them, head back as I let out a quiet sob before collapsing onto the bed. This was so messed up. I shoved my head under the pillow, hoping like hell that tomorrow would bring more…more of something. I couldn’t hope for anything more than “something” right now.
I fell asleep feeling more betrayed than ever before in my life.
I was woken by a crash from the other room and a grunt of pain. I blinked my heavy eyes, stinging from crying myself to sleep, as I slid to the edge of the bed. Looking down, I considered changing out of Drayven’s shirt that I had grabbed and put on when I’d woken up still in my clothes an hour after falling asleep, but it was super comfortable, and frankly…fuck him. When a body slammed against the door, I muttered a curse.
I knew it was Drayven. I knew it, and it made me want to ignore him. What time was it even? I squinted at the clock, realizing it was nearly three in the morning.
With my emotions cooled, I still felt pain radiating through me, but now it was paired with concern that he’d done something stupid tonight. Drayven wasn’t usually very reactionary, but his emotions earlier had been lethal and toxic.
“Ama...” His voice was filled with emotion that I’d never heard from him before. A sick curiosity had me pressing my hand against the locked door.
“What, Dray?” I asked softly, feeling emotionally and physically drained.
I heard him lean into the door, the surface groaning under the weight of his massive frame. “Please let me in. I don’t want to sleep out here without you.”
Oh, devil. He was drunk. Like drunk as a skunk. I could tell.
I inhaled sharply, “It shouldn’t be different than usual—it's not like we ever sleep together.”
“Not by my choice,” he seemed to grumble to himself. “Please, Ama? I don’t want to be apart from you. Not after today. I feel like I’m going to lose you.”
“You never had me,” I snapped, and he let out a low, frustrated growl.
“That’s not true,” he ground out. “You were always mine. Which is why I went to beat the shit out of Adrien. No one else should ever kiss you—”
I swung the door open and found his massive form crumpled against the door frame, falling forward slightly as he stumbled. The smell of whiskey surrounded us as I looked up at him, my arms crossed over my chest while I examined the frustrating bastard.
“You’re in my shirt.” He smiled, a goofy, almost boyish grin, “Fuck, Ama, you look so good in my clothes. I want to mark every inch of your—”
I tried closing the door so he wouldn’t see my reaction, but he stopped it and let out a small worried sound, “Fine. Fine. I’ll behave, I promise.”
“You went to beat up Adrien?” I asked softly, concerned for all parties involved. I didn’t want any of them fighting over me. I wasn’t worth that.
“Yeah,” he muttered, stepping closer to me as the moonlight from the main room’s open window showcased dried blood on his face. I cursed and dragged him towards the bathroom, my eyes widening at the number done on his pretty face.
“Adrien did this?” I asked with surprise, dampening a wet rag. I wasn’t going to examine why all of this made me feel…weird. Just weird.
“No.” He barked out a laugh, “Bastard wouldn’t fight me.”
Sadness filled his gaze, “Said I wasn’t worth it.”
Fuck.
“I’m sure he just didn’t want to fight,” I breathed out, still trying to get rid of the blood. “How did you get injured, then?”
“Finias,” he growled. “I was down at the bar—”
“Yes, that much is clear.” I offered him a dry look.
“I’d been drinking for a bit when Adrien and Damien arrived. I figured I would tell Adrien to fuck off and leave you alone because you’re my girl—”
“Which I’m not,” I muttered quietly, but he ignored me.
“He wouldn’t fight me,” he hissed. “And fucking Finias appeared out of nowhere and tried to tell me you’d be upset if I ‘did this’. I tried to tell him he didn’t know you, Ama. I tried to tell him he didn’t understand us.”
“And he hit you?” I knew there had to be moments missing from this timeline.
Drayven’s ears turned pink, “No. That happened after I told him he would never be good enough for you.”
Ah. Damnit.
“Well—” I started but was immediately cut off.
“Then, when we were fighting, the fucking House of Fallen prince came out of nowhere and tried to separate us.” He rolled his eyes, grunting as I touched his nose, which was thankfully not broken. “I have no idea why they were all there—maybe being a royal means you have to drink at a special time every night or some shit, and I was just misfortunate enough to have chosen the same bar.”
I snorted at that, shaking my head as he offered me that cute smile again. His eyes went serious suddenly as he cupped my face, and my entire body froze.
“I don’t know how to fix this, Ama” His voice was filled with agony. “I can’t change the past. I don’t know how to fix what I’ve broken.” That was the true question, wasn’t it? Had he irreparably broken our relationship—and any potential for the future that might have existed there—with his actions? I honestly didn’t know.
I inhaled and shook my head, “Let’s just get some sleep, Dray. It’s been a really long day.”
His eyes filled with hope, “Can I sleep with you?”
My body lit up at that, despite knowing what he meant. I sighed, “We have to share a bed, don’t we?” And come morning, we would have to talk—about everything.
As I slid into bed, Drayven got in behind me and immediately wrapped his arm around my middle, practically engulfing me. My cheeks heated as he splayed his hands possessively on my skin, and a soft, unintentional sigh of contentment slipped from my lips.
“Goodnight, Ama,” he murmured as his body went heavy, locking me further against him.
I closed my eyes, feeling overwhelmed by so many emotions. I wasn’t ready to deal with any of them. Instead, I let sleep take over and floated in the abyss of unconsciousness. I hoped when I woke up, I
would be ready for everything to come.
Chapter Eighteen
Ama
Drayven was gone when I woke up.
Of course he was.
I tried not to let that get me down as I rolled over in bed, the large imprint of his frame still evident on the pillows and sheets. As my fingers traced over it, I realized the sheets were still warm. Well, he clearly hadn’t been gone for long.
I glanced over at the small bits of sunlight trying to peek around the curtain. What time was it? I swear, this entire trip was messing with my delicately balanced sleep schedule, which operated on the principle of “I sleep almost twelve hours each night.” Hopefully, it wouldn’t be too hard to correct when I went home.
When I went home...would any of these men still be interested in me? It was a question that was far too real and elicited far too many emotions for barely having been awake a few minutes.
A knock on the main door had me yawning, stretching my arms above my head, and padding across the room. I didn’t bother pulling on a robe or anything, figuring the visitor was someone that worked here at the estate. I was sorely mistaken.
Opening the door, I first saw coffee. That made me happy.
The coffee, unfortunately, was being held by…Colt. Why? Why was Colt here?
My displeasure at the situation must have been evident on my face because he quickly said, “Calm down, Princess.” Colt stepped forward as I retreated, and he crossed the room, invading my space and placing down the tray of breakfast and coffee on the table near the couch.
“You got me breakfast?” I frowned in confusion. How perplexing.
He barked out a laugh, sitting down on the couch as I closed the door and crossed my arms over my chest, becoming increasingly aware of how not dressed I was.
“No. This was delivered and sitting outside,” he corrected. “I am here for a different reason.”
“I see.” I blinked, walking over and grabbing coffee before sitting in an armchair and offering him a curious look. I felt both lighter and more depressed about yesterday, so instead of thinking about it, I took a long sip of coffee and kept my eyes on the House of Fallen asshole.
Insurrection (Monarchs of Hell Book 1) Page 15
