by B. B. Hamel
And didn’t want to, not really, not if I was honest with myself.
21
Owain
Leigh sat in the back seat of my car pinned between Ivan and Igor. Rolan stared out the window at a dark building, the big neon sign turned off. Cars rolled past down a major street and their headlight reflected off another pair of cars parked further up—the other guys, waiting for our signal.
“Are you sure this is it?” Leigh asked.
“I’m sure.” I squinted into the night, trying to imagine what the inside looked like. It’d been a long time since I was last here.
“A bowling alley though? Why would a motorcycle gang use a bowling alley as a clubhouse?”
“Bowling’s fun,” Rolan said. “Plus, the parking lot has a lot of space for their bikes.”
Leigh shook her head and laughed a little.
Nobody else smiled.
They knew this was for real. Bowling alley or not, this was the Jackal’s main clubhouse, the place they spent most of their time, the main front for a lot of their dealings. It was their home, more or less, and they’d do anything to protect it.
Which was why we were going to burn it down.
“What do you think?” I asked Rolan, keeping my voice low.
“No movement for a while. No lights on. No bikes out front.”
“Could be around back.”
He nodded. “Could be.”
“But we’re in position and ready to go.”
“We’re not turning back.” He met my gaze and his eyes were steady and hard. “You know that.”
I grunted in reply and the car lapsed into silence again.
I wasn’t afraid. That wasn’t why I hesitated. I lived with the fact that I might get shot or worse every day of my life, and it had stopped holding me back a long time ago. No, I worried because the alley seemed like too good of a target. Clifton knew me and he knew I liked to be aggressive, so there was a small part of me that thought this could be a trap—and if it was, they’d set it up perfectly.
Rolan was right though. I had the guys fired up and ready. They were in position and eager to get moving. I couldn’t stop this even if I wanted to, and so whether this was a trap or not, we were moving in.
“Send word. We’re going in ten.” I leaned back in my chair and watched the alley, eyes squinted against the night, trying to spot any movement that would give away a trap.
Nothing happened and ten minutes ticked past in tense silence. I could almost hear Leigh trying to talk me out of this, but I kept myself centered and focused on my goal. We were hitting Clifton tonight and hitting him hard.
When I was time, I wordlessly opened my door and stepped out into the night. Rolan and the twins came with me. Igor popped the trunk and took a large plastic cannister from the back, handed it to his brother, and took another. We began drifting across the street toward the bowling alley, keeping hunched forward and low. Nothing happened, no flashes of rifle fire, no booms and screams n the night. I saw the other teams move out, crossing the street further down at the far end of the alley, sprinting across the parking lot toward the structure.
I motioned for the twins to take point and Rolan brought up the rear. I jumped over a small concrete wall and landed on the pavement. Samuel’s team was the closet to the building, their guns out and glinting in the moonlight. Wind blew through nearby trees and I thought I smelled something strange, something metallic and sharp—and it took me a second to realize that it was motor oil.
I didn’t know why I could smell oil. That didn’t make any sense. The lot was empty and I didn’t see any stains on the ground. The smell was pungent, strong enough to linger in the empty lot. Weeds grew through cracks and I thought I saw a shopping cart abandoned near a tree.
Samuel and his guys reached the wall as the first gunshot rang out in the night.
It was a crack, sharp and terrible. I shouted and ran forward. I didn’t know where the gunfire came from, but I saw Samuel get hit and drop to the ground, blood spilling from a wound in his chest. More cracks, more bullets whizzed through the air and smashed into the ground. I grabbed Rolan and threw him against the wall.
“Open the doors!” I yelled.
He grunted and ran forward. More cracks, more shots, and I realized they were on the roof. I caught Ivan’s eye and pointed upward with my gun. He nodded and passed the info down as Rolan knelt in front of the front door and began to work his magic. The guy was incredible with a lock pick and I didn’t think there was a single door in the world that could stand up to him.
More cracks and shots, but the guys were all pressed against the wall. Bullets bounced off the pavement, ricocheting into the air. Rolan got one door open and kicked it in. Samuel’s team barreled ahead, leaving Samuel behind on the ground, gasping for air as his blood pumped from his veins. There was nothing they could do for him now, and I knew the guys would want revenge more than anything in the world. I felt a growl escape my lips as I followed my boys inside, gun up and ready to meet any resistance.
“Spread out,” I barked. “Find the stairs and cover the back. Ivan, Igor, spread the gasoline. We’re burning this fucker down.”
Ivan and Igor grinned at each other and began spreading gasoline from their red cans all over the rug and the tables. The shoe booth and register was straight ahead—the snack stand to the left and a little arcade to the right—and the alleys were beyond the shoe stand taking up the bulk of the building.
The stink of gasoline filled the air as the twins went wild, covering every surface they could find with a maddening glee. I could tell they weren’t being smart or careful, but I didn’t give a fuck. I drifted toward the left, searching for the stairs.
“Haven’t found them yet,” Viktor said, smoking a cigarette.
“No resistance inside?”
“None.” He shook his head. “I only counted two guys up there.”
“You think they’re alone?”
He shrugged and said nothing. I sent him to scout the lanes while I continued searching for the stairs leading up. I found them tucked away with the bathrooms, and kicked open the door, throwing myself forward, expecting gunfire to pin me down.
Instead, the stairwell was silent except for the sound of my breath echoing off the concrete.
Rolan came behind me. I held up a hand, making him pause. I heard the twins laughing, more gasoline splashing. I climbed the steps slowly, gun ready, and Rolan followed. We reached the top and I knelt down, listening for any sounds outside. I gestured at Rolan to wait as I leaned forward and threw the door open.
Gunfire blew it up immediately. I pulled back, cursing to myself. When the shooting stopped, I peered out around the corner and took a couple shots blindly. I saw on sniper leaning up behind a concrete smokestack halfway up the roof and the other stood behind an air conditioning unit a few feet away. Both returned fire, forcing me ack and missing by inches.
“Need a distraction,” I said.
Rolan grinned and reached into his pocket. He took out something round and long with a thick wick at the end.
“How’s this?”
“Don’t tell me that’s a smoke grenade.”
“Even better.” He brought a lighter from his pocket, flicked it own, and lit the wick. It took immediately, burning fast and bright. He moved past me and threw it onto the roof toward the two guys. Gunfire popped off, narrowly missing Rolan, and one of the snipers shouted something I couldn’t quite make out.
Rolan had the good sense to cover his ears as whatever he threw out there exploded.
I grimaced and shrank back. The building shook with a devastating rumble and smoke and debris rained down outside. I jumped out the door with my gun up and found a huge hole where Rolan’s explosive went off. Half of the sniper behind the smokestack got caught in the explosion and his blood, guts, skin, and brains were scattered all over the roof.
The other survived, though he remained crouched behind the AC unit. I fired at him from a crouch, forcing h
im back, until he broke and ran. I took a breath, let it out, and squeezed the trigger, hitting him with the last two bullets in my magazine.
He dropped and went still.
“Nice shot, boss.” Rolan laughed and looked around at the devastation. “Holy shit. I didn’t think that would do so much damage.”
“What the hell was that?”
“TNT.”
“You had a fucking stick of TNT in your pocket?”
He shrugged. “The guy I got it from said it was stable.”
“Jesus fuck, Rolan. Don’t do shit like that.”
He laughed and walked over to the first dead guy. He picked up a rifle off the corpse, checked it over, and slung it across his chest.
“I’ll hold up here. You go finish down there.”
I nodded and went back down the steps. The twins were out of gas and the stench of it made my eyes water. Most of the guys were destroying things, smashing signs, slamming bowling balls down as hard as they could over and over, splintering the lanes and wrecking the equipment.
Viktor approached, still smoking that fucking cigarette. I wyted to knock it from his mouth except I knew it’d make the whole place explode.
“What happened upstairs?” he asked.
“Rolan got a little wild with some TNT.”
“Sounds right.”
“Get the guys out of here and light this place up. I want to be gone in two minutes.”
He nodded and started barking order. I walked through the men, grabbing them, pushing them back to the door. Danny cackled as he smashed the glass display case in the concession stand then stole a bunch of candy bars. He stuffed his pockets full of them like a greedy toddler then followed the flow of guys heading out front. I waited for Rolan to come back down, his new rifle bouncing with every step he took, then flagged down Viktor.
I took the cigarette from his moth.
“Ready?” I asked.
“Go ahead, boss.” Viktor started walking away. “I get te picture.”
“Pussy,” Rolan said, grinning huge. “Light her up, boss.”
I tossed the cigarette into the entryway and watched the carpet flare into an intense inferno. The fire spread rapidly into the room and the heat was so intense that I had to back out there.
“Come on.” I pulled Rolan away and steered him toward where Samuel lay on the pavement.
I knelt down and checked. No pulse, empty eyes.
“We gotta go,” Rolan said. “Jackals might be here nay second. Cops won’t be far behind.”
“Fuck.” I stared down at Samuel and cursed myself for not being prepared for this. I stood, leaving my man behind on the ground, even though he didn’t deserve that, didn’t deserve it at all.
We ran back to the cars. Leigh looked wild with fright as an explosion went off in the alley and the flames spouted up through the roof. Glass scattered all over the parking lot like snow.
“What happened in there? I heard gunshots.” She stared at me and reached out.
I let her touch my shoulder. “Lost Samuel. Everyone else is fine.”
“Samuel’s dead?”
I nodded and started the engine. The twins were silent, both of them staring at the burning building, and Rolan shifted in his seat. I could feel the adrenaline still running in my veins.
“But those fuckers got it worse. Two dead and their clubhouse on fire.”
“They got what they had coming to them.” Rolan grinned viciously. “The bastards.”
Leigh took a deep breath and slowly let it out. “It’s not enough.”
Everyone stared at her. I smiled a little and looked straight ahead through the windshield.
She was right. This wasn’t enough. We might’ve killed more of their men and burned down their clubhouse, but it wasn’t enough, not even close to it. The Jackals were still out there somewhere biding their time and licking their wounds and I wanted to make sure that they couldn’t come back ever again. I wanted to destroy them and bury them in shallow graves.
I drove away as the sound of sirens screamed out in the distance.
22
Leigh
The image of Samuel lying on the ground in front of the bowling alley while the building burned was scarred into my brain.
I didn’t even know him. I met him that one time and he barely left an impression, but for some reason when we got back to Owain’s house I was seething with rage—and could barely get to sleep.
Maybe it was a weird reaction. I couldn’t completely tell how Owain felt about what happened. He was happy the alley went up in flames but upset about losing Samuel, and the whole operation seemed like it was a mixed result at best. I was angry for him, angry for Samuel, and pissed off at the Jackals. They thought they could do what they wanted, when they wanted, and even when we hit them back it didn’t seem big enough.
I got up early the next morning and made coffee. Owain came down ten minutes after me wearing a tight black t-shirt and a pair of boxer briefs. He looked surprised to see me and accepted a mug of coffee.
“What are you doing up?”
“Couldn’t sleep.”
“I hear that.” He sat at the table and stared at me. I stared right back. “Something’s on your mind.”
“I’ve been thinking about what happened last night.”
“The raid?”
“Yeah, and Samuel, and just—was that enough?”
He raised an eyebrow and sipped his coffee. He didn’t answer right away and I felt antsy, like I had too much energy to burn. Maybe it was nervous energy, or maybe it was anger, I couldn’t tell, but ever since I accepted a partnership into this crew I couldn’t help but feel like everything got a little bit more personal. Now I wasn’t here against my will. Now, these guys were on my team.
“Can’t say for sure.” He put his mug down and cracked his neck in one violent pop. “Can’t say Samuel dying sits well with me.”
“He was one man and you killed two.”
“True, but he was my man.” Owain stared into my eyes. “What are you thinking, why are you asking me this?”
“Because I have an idea.”
He took a deep breath and slowly let it out. “So you’re strategizing for me now.”
“Hear me out.”
“I’m not sure I want to.”
“I’m a partner now, remember?”
He stood abruptly and stalked into the living room. I followed him but kept my distance. Although we’d gotten closer than I ever thought possible over the last few weeks, he still seemed like a caged tiger that could attack at any second.
“You’re a partner in selling drugs, not in fighting wars. I can’t have you out on the front lines. I only brought you last night so that you could see what we were willing to do—how far we were willing to go.”
“I’m in this now, you pulled me into this and promised that I could have a seat at the table. Are you going back on your word?”
“I don’t go back on my word.” His voice was a low growl as he turned to face me again. His arms were muscular and bulged out his sleeves and I couldn’t help but let my eyes roam up and down his body.
He showed me his teeth.
“Then at least listen to my plan.”
“Go ahead. Tell me.”
“No, not here. I want you to hear it in front of everyone.”
His eyes narrowed. “Excuse me?”
“Call the guys together at my store. I’ll explain what I think there.”
“We don’t do that very often. It’s too dangerous to have everyone in one room in case something happens.”
“Take the chance. We need to plan if we’re going to attack them.”
He shook his head nice and slow and took a step toward me. I didn’t move—only stared up into his eyes and tried to keep my heart from slamming itself out of my chest. He reached out and touched my cheek, fingers curling down my skin, and stooped forward, lips coming near mine.
“Since when did you turn into a little warrior?”
“Since you made me like this.”
“Oh, little diamond.” He smiled big and I could see the real joy in his eyes. “I didn’t make you like anything.”
“You made me want to fight.” I chewed my lip as he leaned down and kissed my cheek.
“I only showed you a path. You decided to walk it.”
“Don’t give me that bullshit.”
“It’s the truth. I talk about testing people, but my tests aren’t meant to shape or mold, only to show what’s already there. I call you my little diamond because I found you in the coal mine, but the truth is my darling, you’ve always been a hard thing. Maybe you hid it well and maybe you walked a straight path for most of your life, but inside that chest is pure steel and grit and killer instinct. You can’t hide it any more than a lion can hide its mane.”
He kissed my then and let it linger. I sucked in a breath then kissed him back, pressing myself against his muscular chest and letting the feeling overwhelm me. I felt like I was going insane, like I was shifting into an entirely different person and I had no clue who she really was—but maybe he was right and I always had this inside of me. I’d always been ruthless and hardworking and I never let anything stand in my way. I made my shop work where most people would’ve failed, and I rarely let my emotions get the best of me.
God, his taste flooded through me, and I was so scared that he was telling the truth—scared, but also excited. I needed him to be right, needed this to be the person I was always meant to be, because it felt too good to ignore. Standing here with him in his living room, knowing that I was about to suggest a dangerous plan that might very well end with my own death, I never felt more alive in my entire life.
It was because of him. He pretended like his tests didn’t shape and mold, but I saw through that. His tests took me and woke something up inside of me, something that might’ve never woken if he hadn’t guided me.
