by K. A. Holt
I could ask Becca about camp,
she could borrow my pen.
But for some reason I thought:
nah.
Redwood’s in, like,
all my classes, but
we haven’t really had a chance
to chat, you know?
And I thought maybe
I’d like to say hi right now.
Is that strange?
Becca gestured at me,
from across the cafeteria,
lifting her shoulders
like she was asking
What are you doing?
But I pretended I didn’t see her as
I dropped my tray on the table
across from Tam
and the boy
sparkling at her side.
I didn’t look back at Becca.
Instead, I looked up.
I smiled.
Tam smiled back.
And now here we are,
sitting across from each other,
strangers
at lunch
together.
TAM
She very carefully
unwraps
the plastic
exposing
her straw
and very carefully
pokes it
into her juice.
No drips.
No spray.
No spills.
No mess.
She very carefully
unwraps
the plastic
around
her sandwich,
leaving half of it covered
so her fingers
stay clean
and lettuce
doesn’t spill.
She very carefully
takes a bite.
Rosy starburst lips
pinched tight
as she chews,
mouth closed.
She looks up.
What?
I look away.
Kate
What?
She’s staring.
Has she never seen
anyone eat
before?
I open my eyes wide
chew slower,
a rhino at the zoo.
She laughs.
I laugh.
In the background
Levi, sparkly flea boy,
is talking about . . .
something . . .
but I don’t hear
over the staring
and the laughing,
a moment that only fits two.
Alex
Alyx
Alexx
Two new friends, leaning close.
Redwood.
Ponytail.
Heads bowed.
Eyes staring.
Giggling and snorting.
Space bends around them.
Space bends around her.
Space bends around her.
Redwood and Ponytail.
Ponytail and Redwood.
The plot, as they say, thickens.
TAM
So you survived?
Levi rolls his eyes,
sighs,
doesn’t want to talk.
Fine.
I mean,
I can tell
by his stiff shoulders,
his squinched mouth,
his gaze
distant
over the treetops . . .
I can tell
he wants to say something
but isn’t talking.
I guess his first day
didn’t go as well
as mine.
Kate
Becca wants to know where I was
at lunch.
Becca wants to know why I didn’t come over
at lunch.
Becca wants to know if something was wrong
at lunch.
I don’t really want to talk about
lunch.
It was just . . .
lunch.
And I was just eating
lunch.
And Tam made me laugh at
lunch.
Lunch was lunch,
I tell Becca
while I tie my shoes for practice.
But she leans over me,
her eyes
her face
her half-frown
hungry
for more.
TAM
Frankie?
Hello?
Tick tock
tick tock
kitchen clock
only sound
when I bound
through the door.
Frankie?
Where are you?
Tick tock
tick tock
kitchen clock
Mom still on shift,
so it’s Frankie’s house
after practice.
Out here!
Tick tock
tick tock
kitchen clock
I grab a soda,
grab a Swiss roll,
head out to the backyard.
Tick tock
tick tock
I half expect Kate
to walk through the door.
Have I even gone five seconds today
without seeing that cheerleader?
TAM
I bet she didn’t think
she’d be looking after me
all the time,
almost every day,
but here I am,
here I’ve always been,
born the day after she retired.
Frankie Little,
like a grandma,
but not related.
Next-door neighbor,
but so much more than that.
I call her my Neighma.
She calls me her Grandneighbor.
We are
our own
tiny
team.
TAM
How is Meercat?
Better today.
Meercat blinks at me.
One slow blink, like I am
incredibly boring
or incredibly annoying.
He’s one to talk.
He just sits there,
big fat lizard,
never moving.
How was your first day?
My brain rewinds,
flashing the day
behind my eyes.
All I see is that cheerleader
everywhere I turned,
getting in my way,
but not in a bad way.
I met this kid,
Kate.
She’s in, like, all of my classes.
She’s a cheerleader.
She has this ponytail.
You should see it.
Bouncing side to side
like she controls it with her mind.
Frankie looks at me
some classic side-eye,
just like Meercat.
The more she stays quiet,
the more I talk,
a signature move
of the Neighma Team.
Kate
Chloe made a countdown clock
and shared it with the whole squad.
It’s called
MDOMG,
counting down to the concert.
So then, of course,
everyone was distracted at practice
and Coach
was not
having
it.
She pulled me aside,
told me to rein them in.
She knows I want to be captain,
and she knows I can run the show.
So I put my foot down.
Told them to straighten up
or else forget MDOMG.
I’ll donate the tickets to the homeless
if I have to.
And the rest of practice was smooth
because they know who’s boss.<
br />
They know I’m right.
Kate
Her nails tap on the wood,
reflecting in the gloss.
Her lips pucker;
I squint to see
if I reflect in their gloss.
She was not happy
when she saw the falcon head.
She was not happy when I stuffed it
in the car.
She was not happy I had not
told her earlier.
Her nails
continue
to
tap.
I don’t love this, Katherine.
I don’t either.
(Even though
I think
maybe I do.)
You know how busy I am, right?
With Dad out of town for work,
I have a million things to handle,
and this is NOT something
I’d planned to have on my list.
Dad has been out of town
“for work”
for months,
living in a new house,
but it feels like maybe
I shouldn’t bring that up
right now.
You do realize . . .
only cheerleaders
can be cheer captains.
A mascot is NOT
part of the squad.
I know.
It’s only temporary.
I am a little upset,
if I’m being honest.
Maybe I should call Coach.
No, Mom, please don’t.
It’s just for a game or two.
I’m taking one for the team,
like you always say.
They love me for it.
You should have seen me today,
I—
Of course they love you!
They aren’t the ones
looking like fools.
I won’t look like a fool.
You’ll be wearing a falcon head
the size of a school bus.
Not a lot of art or skill in that,
Katherine.
Her nails keep tapping.
Her lips stay pursed.
You’re the most athletic of them all.
This is ridiculous.
Though I will say,
I’m much less upset now,
to be missing the first few games.
You can act the fool
while I’m taking care of the remodel,
and then . . . back to business.
Back to campaigning for captain,
if the squad even remembers
who you are.
I’ll be a giant falcon, Mom.
Not invisible.
It’ll be fine.
They’ll want me to be captain.
You should’ve seen—
We’ll see.
There’s a bang at the door.
Oh!
Mom’s eyes light up.
The new flooring!
The delivery truck is here!
She jumps up,
kisses my head,
walks briskly away.
I pick up the falcon head,
its giant eyes stare at me.
Well, whew, dude.
Looks like we’ve got a few more
games together.
TAM
Kate
Did I have a good day?
Did I have a good day?
It felt mostly . . . the same.
It felt mostly . . . the same.
But there was a tiny light
But there was something different
something different
a little bit of light
I wonder
I wonder
will it still be there tomorrow?
will it still be there tomorrow?
This new discovery
An unexpected lightness
A lightness
A discovery
A spark—
A spark?
Of something new.
Alex
Alyx
Alexx
Have you heard?
Oh, I’ve heard.
Big news, big news.
A new mascot.
A concert.
Big news, big news.
Have you seen?
Oh, I’ve seen.
Bigger news, bigger news.
A shake-up at lunch.
Tables asunder.
The only news.
Kate
I heard her before I saw her,
that echoing laugh
turning the corner
before those long legs
strode into view.
And when she spun by
she gave me a high five
even though she never stopped
moving,
and I
felt the sting on my palm
as I watched her rush by,
little Levi
nipping at her heels.
I hear a snap snap snap
as I touch my burning palm
and Becca yells,
Yearbook!
as her camera flashes,
this moment caught,
like a Tuesday morning butterfly,
held tight.
TAM
When I get here early, I do a spin
from hall to hall
locker to locker
just to see who’s in,
just to say hi,
cause why sit still
if you can fly?
Today we flew,
Levi and I,
beating the bell,
knocking shoulders,
slapping high fives
and I came around the corner,
catching Kate off guard,
smacking her hand hard
and laughing at her surprise,
her ow-shaped mouth.
Then I realized my own hand
still stung,
a zinging, singing redness
from when our palms smacked,
and I could still feel its warmth
even once I got to class.
TAM
Oh no she did not.
I spin in my desk.
She waves from the back.
I point at her.
She smiles and shrugs.
That little Ponytail
just smacked my head,
right when she walked by,
an open palm to the skull
like I’m the volleyball.
Girl.
I am untouchable.
Everyone knows that.
But Ponytail just smirks and waves,
so confident she can get away with it.
Kate
I mean, how could I resist?
She smacked my hand,
I smack her head.
Redwood’s sitting down,
so it’s the only time
I can reach it.
And oh the look on her face
when she sees it’s me.
Her shock turns to
surprise.
I love that this girl
who knows everyone and everything
still can’t figure me out.
Kate
Another day, another sandwich.
I scan the cafeteria.
Cheer table: the same everything.
Tam’s table: empty.
Cheer table: still the same everything.
Tam’s table: still empty.
Becca waves me over.
No Tam in sight.
Cheer table, it is.
Where’ve you been?
What’s up, Kate?
We’ve missed you!
We all chat,
it’s just like always,
my crew, my squad.
Except, I don’t know . . .
it’s like eating pizza when
you’re craving cake.
Fine, but not satisfy
ing.
Fun, but not what I want.
I scan the room for Tam.
I chew a bite of sandwich.
The clock ticks slowly.
Cheerleader Kate stays
on display.
TAM
Yes, I let Levi climb me like a tree.
Yes, we might have been loud.
Yes, it was disruptive in the hallway.
Yes, I will accept lunch detention.
Yes, let’s just do it today and get it out of the way.
Yes, I’m wondering if Kate
is wondering
where I am.
