Hero

by Dan Sugralinov

  The Friday had been relatively uneventful if you disregarded the mind-blowing evening of Stacy-a.k.a.-Ilindi’s revelations and the following night’s sleep during which I’d managed to relive the last four days of my second life.

  It had only been eighty-four hours since Vicky had left me — but for anybody else, these events would have been plenty to last them a year.

  It only took me a few minutes to arrange a monthly gym subscription. I had to fill in a form, pay for the first month and wait for the club card to be issued. The gym was quite small, with only a weights room and a few treadmills, but I was perfectly happy with it.

  Deprived of exercise just lately, my muscles were more than pleased to top up with blood and stop their own atrophy. I knew of course that nothing drastic would have happened during such a short hiatus but as far as I knew, if you stopped exercising for more than a month, your body would start ridding itself of all the extra muscle it apparently didn’t need.

  After the gym, I decided I land myself a few social quests in order to level up Insight. After a couple of hours of fruitlessly roaming around the town, I stumbled across an old babushka who’d lost her cat.

  You can’t imagine how happy I was. Finally, a quest!

  Unfortunately, I couldn’t even use the interface because the old lady had no KIDD points to offer me. She had no cat’s pictures or any ID information. According to her, the only “documents” to identify the missing moggy were:

  “A bushy tail! His whiskers are a good foot long!” the old lady spread her hands wide, showing me how long his whiskers were. “He’s a very pretty stripy gray color!” she added before dissolving in tears.

  So once I’d accepted the quest, I was forced to look for the cat the old-fashioned way, by checking all the nearby courtyards and looking in every back door, nook and cranny.

  Finally, I came across a cat which fitted the description in a back yard two blocks away. He was perched on a wooden fence opposite a ginger tom, yowling and howling, preparing to attack.

  Barsik. A male cat

  Age: 6

  Current status: pet

  Owner: Mrs. Eudoxia Moskalenko

  That was him. Shit. He was a real monster, wasn’t he? How was I supposed to catch him? Or even grab him? His claws were just like Freddy Krueger’s. It wasn’t a cat — it was a flippin’ wolverine.

  “Barsik?” I said sweetly. “Puss-puss-puss!”

  As if he gave a damn. I took a picture of him with my phone and hurried back to the old lady to ID him. On seeing the picture, she threw her hands in the air and started clucking like a chicken, demanding to know where he was and whether he was still alive.

  “He’s fine, granny! But that might not last. Come with me, I’ll show you!”

  I took her to the place where the two cats were still having their showdown, apparently unable to come to an agreement and wailing their appeal to the devil. This proved to be enough to complete the quest for which I even received all of 50 XP points — but not a single percent of Insight.

  I spent the evening working on my custom leveling plan.

  Before I went to bed, I decided to bring Agility up to 10. Admittedly, I was undecided whether I should improve Luck instead. Still, it looked like Khphor had given up surprising me while one sole point of Agility would be enough to implement my plan.

  Warning! We’ve detected an abnormal increase in your Agility characteristic: +1 pt.

  Your body will be restructured in keeping with the new reading (10) to comply with your new coordination and neuromuscular values.

  Changes required: new adjustments to your central nervous system as well as the improvements to the elasticity of your muscles, sinews, ligaments and tendons.

  Warning! The restructuring of your body functions requires a considerable amount of nutrients. In order to avoid danger to your life, you’re strongly encouraged to consume a minimum of 7 oz. animal protein, 1.7 lbs. of carbohydrates and 5.4 oz. of animal fats. A shortage of nutrients may result in body function failure.

  Warning! Artificial characteristic boosting of more that 1 pt. at a time is strictly forbidden! Strong chance of fatality!

  It was the first time I’d used system points to bring up Agility. I ate a good square meal, went to bed and activated the upgrade of Agility: my only characteristic that was still lacking.

  Chapter Eighteen. My Sole Shield

  Anyone who uses the phrase “easy as taking candy from a baby” has never tried taking candy from a baby.

  Robert Asprin, Another Fine Myth

  THE OVERCAST Monday morning must have left its stamp on the townspeople’s cheer. The wet streets were packed with traffic; drivers nervously honked, afraid of being late for work. Even I felt exhausted, despite having just had a restful weekend.

  The countdown on the traffic lights[48] made all the pedestrians like myself wait for almost two minutes in order to cross the road. While I was treading pools of rainwater, Alik phoned me.

  “Phil, it’s me again. Mr. Katz and Rose will be here in half an hour. They’re running a bit late,” he reported cheerfully. “All the others are already here waiting for you.”

  “Excellent, thanks. I’m only a couple of blocks away. I’ll be there in a moment. See you.”

  “Phil, wait!” Alik hurried to add before I hung up. “Stace didn’t call you, by any chance?”

  “Why?”

  “She’s not here. Her number is apparently unavailable. I can’t get through. What if she got sick?”

  “Ah, no, she’s all right. She warned me she wanted to go back to her home town. She probably left already.”

  “Really? Shit,” he sighed. “What a shame.”

  “I completely agree with you. It’s a shame to lose such a piece of... er, such a good worker. Okay, I’m gonna hang you up, man. See you soon.”

  I slid the phone back into my pocket and quickened my step. I could sense the flow of events around me accelerating; my intuition was screaming that every moment counted. Very soon, I’d have no time left, and I’d better be prepared.

  For better or for worse, I couldn’t concentrate on my leveling alone. Deep inside, I could feel that the company’s development was just as important — if for no other reason than now I had others to take care of.

  This morning, as soon as I had come back from my training session with Kostya, I called each and every one of our future shareholders and invited them to the office for an important conversation. None of them declined. This Monday could become the founding day of our company the way I envisioned it. And judging by the interface’s forecast, it completely agreed with me.

  As for last Sunday, I’d spent it very productively. I’d had a good jog and sat down to study my management and administration books. No matter how many times I’d scrolled through my skill list, I hadn’t found the Administrator skill. I did have a level-2 Leadership, but leadership alone wasn’t enough to build a business.

  I’d managed to wade through The Shorter MBA: A Practical Approach to Key Business Skills before my sister Kira had called me to remind me that we’d had an agreement to go see our parents. She was already downstairs — and when she realized that I hadn’t yet even thought about getting ready, she got on her high horse again to tell me I was an irresponsible moron. Still, how could I be angry with her?

  A family dinner in a warm and heartfelt atmosphere was just what I needed after all the latest developments. My parents and Kira cheered up no end after hearing about my company. I told them about everything we’d done and what we were still planning on doing. Mom said she knew nothing about these things but she was happy that I’d got my act together. Dad, however, pulled a serious face and told me not to cook the books and make sure I paid all my taxes. And most importantly, he added, I had to treat my staff with respect.

  All right, Dad. I think you can be proud of me.

  At some point, Kira took me aside and began grilling me about all the details. It was a good job I was by now quite well-versed in
all the legal and financial issues, courtesy of Mr. Katz and Rose, so I was able to answer all her questions rather competently. And as for our business model, I already knew everything about that myself.

  Kira was pleased even though she warned me she might pay us a visit at the office in her official capacity as a tax controller, just for her own peace of mind.

  I spent the evening roaming the most criminal area of the town, looking to pick a fight. The best I’d managed was to start a punchup with some harmless drunk who was no threat to anyone — and even so, we were promptly dragged apart by onlookers, so my attempt at improving the environmental safety index had gloriously failed.

  That was the extent of my Sunday — so now as I ran upstairs to the office, I couldn’t wait to start implementing everything I’d dreamed up.

  Still, there was one more thing I had to do before the shareholders’ meeting.

  The office door was ajar. When I walked over to it, I saw that we had a new client waiting inside.

  It was Yanna.

  I'd always had a problem with stumbling into my exes. Not that I’d had many of them, you understand, but I’d never been prepared to such a turn of events. For instance, having spent a night playing online, I’d pop out to the corner shop first thing in the morning before even brushing my teeth, unwashed, disheveled and wearing a pair of worn-out sneakers and a filthy T-shirt. And there I’d bump into an ex of mine looking as fresh as a daisy, dressed to the nines and smelling of an expensive perfume. You can’t just walk past, can you? Even if I pretended I hadn’t seen her, she might have noticed me already.

  And then what? You walk over to her to say hello and just stand there awkwardly, not knowing what to say and wishing the earth would swallow you whole, all the while thinking, ‘dammit’!

  I don’t think Yanna realized who the agency belonged to. Had she wanted to just meet up with me, she could have simply phoned me. Which meant she was here looking for employment. Being between jobs isn’t always the best time of your life.

  Which was why I didn’t want to embarrass her — not just by our accidental meeting but also by the fact that she had to come to me cap in hand.

  I stepped away from the office door, walked over to the stairwell and went up to the next floor.

  There, I dialed Alik.

  “Yes?” he whispered conspiratorially.

  “Alik? Do you think Yanna recognized you?”

  “No, she didn’t. She’s filling in the form.”

  “I see. I’d like you to take her paperwork and tell her that we’ll call her back. I don’t really want to see her at the moment.”

  “Got it. Will do. I’ll call you back,” he hung up.

  As I waited for Yanna to leave, I studied her profile. This was a habit I’d recently picked up, ID-ing everyone I came into contact with. With her new statuses — Divorced and Unemployed — and her Mood deep in the orange, her stats were screaming that my ex-wife needed help.

  I wondered if she knew that she was “pregnant with a baby girl, Term: 26 days”?

  The problem was, I couldn’t just walk over to her and ask her how she was doing. In order not to waste time, I searched through the database for a few employment options for her: some which were guaranteed to hire her even though the pay wasn’t up to much, and a few potentially better paying ones even though there was no guarantee of them employing her.

  After about ten more minutes, Alik texted me to let me know she was gone. I waited another couple of minutes and walked back downstairs.

  Just as I was heading for the office, I bumped right into Yanna as she was leaving the ladies’ room.

  Dammit!

  “Phil?” she sounded surprised, and not in a nice way, judging by her plummeted Mood indicator.

  “Yanna?” I faked surprise. “Oh hi! You look great!” I lied through my teeth.

  She smirked. “Are you kidding me? Never mind. What if we pretend we don’t know each other? I really don’t wanna talk to you right now.”

  “Not a problem. I’m in a hurry too.”

  “Leave it at that, then. See you! Actually... what are you doing here?”

  “I’m looking for work. There’s an employment agency here somewhere, right?”

  “No idea,” she said through clenched teeth and left.

  I shrugged and went into the office. According to my interface map, all my future partners were already there, including Mr. Katz and Rose who’d arrived a bit late.

  I greeted everyone cheerfully, shook the men’s hands and gave Veronica and Rose a peck on the cheek.

  “So what’s this important question you’ve dragged us all here for already?” the old lawyer asked with a mocking Jewish accent as he gave me a cunning squint.

  “One moment, Sir,” I said. “I need to print something out and give you all a copy.”

  I pulled out my laptop, switched it on and began printing out my company’s vision.

  This was a mini strategy I’d tried to make as concise as possible, fitting everything — all the bullet points, figures and graphs — into six pages. I hadn’t bothered to format it as a PowerPoint presentation. I just wasn’t very good at it yet even though I knew I should have leveled it up while I still had the interface and the Learning Skills booster. Never mind. I really should put it on my to-do list. Knowing how to throw a presentation together would never hurt.

  While the document was being printed — thanks to Kesha who’d lent us a cheap laser printer — I called Alik and gave him a Post-It note on which I’d jotted down the potential vacancies for Yanna, listing the better-paying ones first.

  “Please give her a call straight away,” I said, “and tell her to start from the top of the list.”

  He nodded. “Will do,” he reached for the phone to call her.

  Seeing as Stacy wasn’t with us anymore, I scooped out the printed sheets and handed them out to everyone present. “Guys! Before we start discussing the document — and it won’t be quick — I suggest you all take a look at it first.”

  Everybody started reading: Mark and Rose huddling comfortably on the couch, Alik perched on the windowsill and Gleb at his desk. Kesha and Veronica were sitting opposite me at my desk on seats normally destined for clients.

  As I waited for them to finish reading, I printed out a quick notice informing everyone that the office was Closed Until 2 p.m. For A Maintenance Break. I then hung it on the outside of the office door and locked it from the inside.

  Then I returned to my place and began studying their stats to the accompaniment of rustling pages. Someone cleared their throat; another voice chuckled pensively over their pages.

  Their respective Mood numbers were high; their Interest in the upcoming conversation all maxed out.

  I coughed to attract their attention. “Have you all read it?”

  “One sec, I’m just finishing it,” Alik mumbled, then added after a pause, “Yes!”

  Everyone held their breath, waiting for me to speak. Silence fell.

  Looking at their faces one by one to make sure they were all listening, I began my story.

  “Let’s get on with it, then. As you all understand, I’d like to unite our efforts by creating a company for all of us. Our activities in the immediate future are all listed in the document, as well as my suggestions for the company’s development.”

  “I’m sorry to interrupt you, Phil,” Mr. Katz butted in. “I want to apologize in advance if my words are going to clip your wings but my natural pessimism regarding some of your ideas... wait a second, where was it now...”

  He ran his finger across the page, searching for the necessary section. “Found it! Here, listen: prospecting, pharmaceuticals, a chain of medical clinics, augmented-reality projects, stock exchange, scientific research, sports scouts and a sports boarding school? Plus a number of other rather irrelevant ideas. Don’t you think it’s a bit too... er... ambitious?”

  He was dead right there. It was “a bit too ambitious” — especially for a wannabe start
up who’d just launched his first business. Still, my level-3 Insight would now allow me to get into at least half of these projects straight away. My ability to see any person’s potential enabled me to start recruiting budding young athletes — like soccer players, for instance — anywhere in the world, and then either sign them up or invest in their development using our own training base and the best coaches available.

  As for prospecting — that is to say, looking for new natural deposits — it would become possible in the very near future once I’d leveled up Insight some more. Also, by now, I realized perfectly well that an augmented reality interface would be developed in the very near future — I knew it better than anyone else! — which meant that investments in this particular branch of research could garner us considerable profits.

  And pharmaceuticals? This was not only super-profitable but above all else a socially meaningful business, provided you did it honestly. With the interface to help me, we could finance new research in this area and hand-pick the best young experts with the biggest potential.

  The same went for innovation projects — and we could also use the Synergy forecast in order to put together the most effective teams.

  So basically, it was all doable provided you had the money. Which was why the first stage (or the second, rather, if you counted our initial activity as an employment agency) would have to be creating a successful and profitable company.

  “You’re absolutely right, Sir,” I said. “In these conditions,” I swept my hand around the office, “I can’t blame you for having little faith in my ambitious ideas. You might even think they’re crazy.”

  “Yeah, sorry, man,” Kesha grinned, “I’m afraid you’ve slightly lost the plot. Had we lived in some other country, yeah, maybe, but here? Who needs science in Russia these days? There’s no money in it.”

  “Well, you can say what you want but I like it. You’ve gotta aim big,” Gleb grinned goofily, then quoted a line from a ribald jailbird song, “If you’re gonna steal, you’d better make it a million!”