by K E Osborn
I turn to peer inside the slightly open window.
Lyri’s mumbling to herself as she moves about the living room. “If this is from Eddie, he should have gotten me something that won’t make me fat.”
I grimace. Great, she doesn’t like it.
“Rawrr... lardass, lardass,” Polly Parton calls out from the back room. It should make me laugh, but instead, I simply feel sad.
Dammit! I miss Polly. I want to be in there feeding him his apples.
Is he still eating his apples or being a stubborn boy for Lyri?
“Quiet, Polly. You’re not such a slender bird yourself.”
“Rawrr... fuck off.”
Lyri groans, placing the basket on the coffee table and stares at it like it’s a foreign object. “Polly, be quiet. This is a serious situation right now.”
She pulls the ribbon and opens the cellophane to look inside the basket. She grabs the champagne bottle first. “This’ll do nicely,” she mutters to herself as she places it on the table, then slowly sifts through the sugared confectionery. She chews on her bottom lip as she grabs the box containing the toy for Polly. She sinks into the sofa for a moment like she’s deep in thought, then she sits forward, seeming to have composed herself, and pulls out the bear, reading its little shirt. “This has got to be from Eddie because he is an idiot.”
She grabs the card. I see the hesitation written all over her face while she slowly pulls it from the envelope. Her eyes brighten, but only marginally. She looks at the goat, slowly sitting back against the sofa. Lyri takes in a deep breath like she’s mentally preparing herself for what she might read. But she flips open the card and starts reading anyway.
“What are ya doin’?” a voice whispers in my ear, making me gasp. I jump, falling back on my ass into the bush. My heart races so fucking fast as my eyes shoot up to see Jase hovering in the bush with a cocky smile on his face. “Ya didn’t think I’d know exactly what you were gonna do when you ditched me, huh?”
Damn him! My adrenaline spikes so intensely, I want to be sick.
“I know you, Eddie. I knew you’d wanna see this through. But we’re a team, and I wanna know how she reacts to it, too.” Jase’s hand comes out, helping me up from the grass.
I dust off my ass, hoping like hell she hasn’t heard the commotion we’ve made out the front of her house. I squeeze his shoulder. “Thanks, Jase, for always having my back, even if you scared me over onto it.”
He nods, then turns, peeking inside Lyri’s living room. I follow suit to see her wiping tears from her face as she sniffs, reading my card.
I weakly smile knowing my words have affected her. I’m glad she knows I’m not joking when I tell her how I feel.
Suddenly, she sits taller, then abruptly tears the card to shreds with such force she seems like a woman untamed. I hold my breath as she throws the pieces into the basket, then picks it up and starts walking to the front door. Jase and I duck down farther into the bush as she heads outside to the trash can, opens it, and shoves the basket forcefully inside. She pushes it down a couple more times for extra emphasis, then slams the lid shut and wipes her hands together. “Good riddance! Take that, Eddie, you lying scumbag.”
My eyes widen as she storms back inside, slamming her door shut, then walks over to the champagne bottle, pops it open as she slumps on the sofa, proceeding to drink straight from the bottle.
Shit.
Jase slaps my back as I turn to him feeling completely overwhelmed.
“I should go talk to her.”
Jase’s eyes widen. “No! You definitely should not. Can’t you see the state she’s in? Going to her now would only make her hate you more. She needs to cool off, Eddie. Nope. We need a new plan.”
I take another peek in the window to see her drowning her sorrows, and it sends an ache deep down inside of me.
I hate that I’ve done that to her.
I hate that I’m the reason she’s drinking alone on her sofa, wallowing in her misery.
Jase grabs my arm and starts pulling. “C’mon, man, let’s go back to your place. Hash this shit out.”
I glance over at Lyri, taking her in one last time. There’s nothing more I can do tonight. I just have to let her drown right now, and that cuts me deep. “Okay, we can go back to mine. But Jase, I need a drink.”
“Yes. Alcohol, takeout, and we have to make another plan. We need to up the ante. It’s time for phase two.”
I steady my shoulders, checking back inside her living room.
Yes. Time for phase two.
Chapter Eighteen
THE NEXT NIGHT
Working today with Jase felt like a blur.
I know he means well. I know he’s trying everything to get this train back on its tracks, but I couldn’t seem to concentrate. This new phase we’re putting together? It’s going to take timing and planning. We’re going to need to do recon to figure out our next move. Until then, I’ve been left to wallow like the pussy-whipped man I am.
Right now, I’m at home in my giant, empty mansion, wishing I were at Lyri’s eating Indian on her sofa with Polly on my shoulder.
It’s how my life is meant to be.
But it’s not.
And I’m left here sitting on my sofa, pondering how shit’s gone so fucking bad. I’m missing her like damn crazy and feeling like I might be losing my mind.
The dim lights of my living room send an ominous tone over the sunken room, while I sip back the remainder of my coffee. My chest squeezes as I rock my jaw back and forth.
I want to do something.
I can’t sit just here.
I have to be proactive. I need to fucking see her.
I make a split-second decision. Reaching out, I grab my dark coat. I storm through my cold foyer, grabbing my keys from the buffet and head for the giant double doors. I push through them, slamming them shut behind me, and make my way to my car. I don’t know what I’m doing. All I know is I need to get to her. My heart pummels my chest, my breathing frantic as I start the car, then speed off as fast as I fucking can.
The radio flicks on and Savage Lies play over the speakers, singing of unrequited love. I grunt, feeling like her father’s either giving me a pep talk or warning me off. I just can’t decipher the message the universe is sending me right now. Tension runs through me. A bead of sweat forms on my brow. My fingers clench the steering wheel so tight my knuckles turn ghostly white.
I pull down her street not having any clue what the hell I’m doing.
Am I going to demand she talk to me? Am I going to throw myself at her mercy? Fuck, I haven’t thought this through. I’m too busy freaking myself out.
I pull the car to a stop across the street, taking a deep breath. I glance over at her home to see her front bay window is open.
I shake my head—woman needs to learn to close the blinds.
Steeling my shoulders, I prepare myself to go talk to her. I will beg if I need to. I slide out of my car and slowly walk over to her home, to the home I thought I might have made my own with her, to the place where I feel more at peace and relaxed than I do anywhere else in the world.
I am the only reason I’m not in there with her now. It’s my fault, and I own it.
With each step I take toward her door, my chest pounds a little harder. My breathing starts to come faster as tension rolls through me. I wipe my sweaty palms on my suit pants as I stride down her path toward her front door.
Suddenly, the outdoor sensor light flicks on. Fucking hell! My eyes shoot open wide as I stealthily duck into her bushes beneath her bay window to try and keep myself hidden. My breathing staggers as I wait for the light to flick off. I take in the noise I hear coming from inside her home. The thumping bassline and heavy reverberation let me know that it’s music. It’s loud, and for this time of night, I find it strange that she’s listening to something with that level of noise attached to it. So, instead of knocking on her door, I want to see what she’s doing before I disturb her. With small step
s, I edge up to look inside her living room.
Damn! The sight almost knocks me on my ass.
She’s in a long T-shirt and panties, binging on a tub of Ben and Jerry’s with tears streaming down her face.
She’s a mess.
Queen’s ‘The Show Must Go On’ plays loudly through her speakers, and it smacks me right in the chest. I sink into myself as I watch her. She’s attempting to build herself up, but I know she’s struggling. It’s obvious. I mean, she’s practically bawling into her tub of Chunky Monkey.
I did this to her.
I’ve made her this way.
“I’m so sorry, Lyri,” I murmur.
Suddenly, her head jerks up as if she’s sensed me.
My eyes flash open wide as my body reacts without thinking. I fall back into the shrubs, trying to hide myself from her. “Shit!” I cuss as I scuffle into the bush to hide myself. The music turns off, so I duck into the bushes farther. Luckily, I’m wearing black, and I hope like fuck she won’t see me. I hear her window creek open, and I smell her fruity perfume. I inhale deeply, my senses coming alive, my cock jerking as I close my eyes and try to keep myself in check. She’s right above me. My heart leaps into my throat. All I want to do is look up, to tell her I’m here, and that I love her. That I’m sorry, and I’ll do anything to stop her hurting like this.
“Must be a skunk or some other rodent,” she murmurs to herself. Her voice is all nasally, obviously from her copious amounts of crying. She closes the window, and I let out a relieved sigh.
“That was close,” I whisper.
I hear her pull her curtains closed, and I smile. Good girl.
Rolling my shoulders, I risk glancing up to see the window completely covered, and I let out a heavy exhale. Dusting myself off, I quietly extract myself from the bush and stand staring at the giant window as the light turns on again. I wish I had more time to watch her. I know how creepy that sounds, but catching a glimpse of her, just seeing her for a moment, even though she is a mess, somehow makes me feel close to her again.
I’m not sure I’m ready to let go of her just yet.
I can’t go to her door, not in the state she’s in. It will be too much for her. I crack my neck and do something I thought I’d never do.
Hell, I’m already a creeper. I may as well add snooping to the list too.
My eyes dart around to see if any of her neighbors are watching. There’s no one around, so I make my way to her bedroom window. I feel all kinds of mixed emotions. Like I’m invading her privacy, like I definitely shouldn’t be here. But I need more of a fix, and it’s outweighing my need for her privacy.
She’s like a drug.
I can’t help myself.
Her blinds are drawn, but there’s a tiny slit in the middle where she hasn’t closed them properly. I know I’m a fucking creep, but I sink down low and peek inside her bedroom. She’s standing by her mirror, wiping the tears away from her cheeks. I frown, wishing I was there to do it for her—although I am the one who put them there. She pulls the top knot from her head, her perfect blonde waves falling around her face as she switches off her main light, leaving the room in darkness. The sensor light has flicked off again, and I can’t see her except for her silhouette. She makes her way to her bed, pulls back the covers, and slides in. She fluffs her pillows, then snuggles into them.
I wish more than anything I was behind her, cuddling into every inch of her perfect body.
“Goodnight, hotshot, wherever you are,” I hear her say through the slightly open window.
I tense, wondering briefly if she knows I’m here. But she couldn’t know… could she?
I relax a little, hearing her breathing calm as I keep my eyes on her body. I’m glad she isn’t crying anymore. Seeing her so worked up like that fucking kills me.
I’m honestly not sure what I’m doing. Squatting outside her window, watching her fall asleep—it’s fucking creepy, even I know that. I’m taking this too far. She would probably feel violated if she knew. But I want to know she’s okay. I want to make sure she’s coping. I want to be here if she falls into too big of a heap. I want to be the man to put her back together, even though I am the man who broke her apart. I don’t know if I can be her knight, but fuck if I’m not going to try.
I turn my back, gently sliding down against the side of her house under her window.
I don’t have a plan.
Do I intend to stay here all night? I honestly don’t know.
I don’t know where my mind is at right now. All I know is I want to be close to her. I need to be close to her. And if being here while she drifts off to sleep is what I have to do to accomplish that, then so be it.
The moon shines bright, hanging in the velvet sky. A barred owl hoots in the distance, making tonight feel like something more out of a Halloween movie. Opossums run up and down the tree in her front yard, trying to find nuts or whatever the fuck it is they’re after. It’s amazing how when we go to bed, the whole world comes alive. I had no idea how beautiful the silence can be. The glow of the moon lighting the street, and the stunning garden Lyri has created, I never take the time to admire the small things. But now that I have a moment to literally stop and smell the roses, I can see all the hard work she’s put in. She works extremely hard at this gardening stuff.
It’s just another reason to love her.
The sound of a car making its way down the street makes me tense as the headlights come closer to Lyri’s house. The thought of someone seeing me sitting out the front of her bedroom window rings alarm bells. I don’t want to go to jail tonight, or any night for that matter, so I creep in behind another bush by her bedroom window. Fuck, I’ve never been so glad that she has a green thumb as I am right now. The car slows down on approach. I wonder if whoever’s in the car can see me as a spotlight comes out of the window shining right on her home. I stand stock-still, narrowing my eyes on the side of the car.
Culver City Security.
Fucking hell, she has patrols on her house? Figures. She is rock royalty. I need to remember this.
My heart races in my chest so fucking fast, waiting for the guard to get out of the car, but before I have a second to break into full panic mode, the spotlight flicks off, and the driver speeds off down the road in a hurry like he’s missing out on a special at McDonald’s.
I let out a relieved exhale as I try to control my breathing.
Edging out from the bush, this time I attempt to keep away from the sensor light as I turn to her window and peek into her room, the shards of silver moonlight illuminating a light on her beautiful face.
She’s fast asleep.
Possibly dreaming of a better life.
With me in it?
I don’t know. I can only hope.
I check the time on my watch—it’s almost three in the morning. My eyes are heavy, and this is getting a little ridiculous now. I know she’s fine. She’s asleep, and nothing’s going to happen if I leave.
My eyes take her in one last time as my chest tightens. Leaving her is harder than I’d thought. But I have work tomorrow. Well, technically, it’s today. Actually, in a few hours, so I’d better get some sleep.
“Goodnight, Lyri… I’ll be back tomorrow. Sleep well,” I whisper quietly, so I don’t wake her. I place my hand on her window in a last-ditch effort to be near her. I take a deep breath, then turn and head for my car.
I feel lighter somehow.
Tired but lighter.
Seeing her falling apart like that was fucking awful. But knowing she got through it, and I was there to make sure she was okay made me feel like even though she doesn’t know it, I will always be her rock. I will always be there for her. Until she gives me a reason not to, I’m sticking by her. Even then, I probably will, anyway. Because the thing about endless love is it’s just that—endless. And I would walk to the ends of the earth for Lyri. I simply need to find a way to prove it to her. I need to work on phase two with Jase.
But in the meantime, eac
h night I will come to her home and watch her go to sleep.
Just to get me by.
It might not be helping her, but it sure as hell is helping me.
And hell, if I don’t need all the help I can get right now.
Chapter Nineteen
A WEEK LATER
I’ve been stopping by Lyri’s house every night just to check on her.
I’ve found a route that takes advantage of the dead spots of the sensor light, then I leave before the patrol car drives by.
She’s much the same, though. Wallowing in her misery.
I hate seeing her this way. I just want to make her feel better, but Jase has a plan.
Phase two.
Today is Monday morning, and after a little more than a week of planning, we will be starting our game plan. I just hope this goes down better than the gift basket. We pull up in Jase’s car near Lyri’s place but down the road a little so she can’t see us. My heart is rapidly firing in my chest.
This will work.
It has to work.
I need her back in my life.
Jase turns to me and exhales. “Okay, man, you got the first one?”
I pull open the folder. We thought the best way not to fuck up was to be organized. So, everything’s in order.
Note one—check.
We thought I should start off with a compliment. Something to break the ice. Something to make her feel good. I take in the note with my handwriting scrawled across it.
You’re as stunning today as you were the day I met you.
Have a good day at work, hummingbird. xo
I don’t have to see her to know she will look amazing when she reads this note. I know it will be telling the truth because Lyri is the most gorgeous woman in the world.
In my world.
Because she is my world.
“Let’s do this,” I mutter as I grab the handle of the car door and slowly edge out. It’s early, but I know exactly what time Lyri goes to work. I know, because I know her. And this last week, Jase and I have been madly doing recon for this exact moment.
