by Max Henry
“I assume a place like this has free WIFI.”
“Sure.” I cross the room and retrieve the room card that details the password.
She takes it from my hand without eye contact. I fight the urge to pull a Rey and smash up half the room to expel the anger rumbling inside.
“You can go do whatever you need to.” She taps the code into her settings. “I’ll be fine here looking for work.”
“Jeanie.”
“I said go, Toby.”
I make it as far as the door before the sense of wrongness tugged tight in my gut gets too large to ignore. “I don’t want to.” She doesn’t lift her head when I stride back to where she sits. “I want to talk this out.”
“What’s there to say?” Her frown deepens. “My reputation is non-existent, and you have a career to continue.”
“Don’t.” I drop into the seat adjacent to hers. “You can’t put this all on me and kill what we’ve got.”
“What do we have?” She slams the lid of the laptop down and sets her vitriol-laced glare on me. “An unconventional start? Secret sex behind closed doors? Hell of a relationship we develop between us, don’t you think?”
She’s angry—I get it. But the woman runs a blunt knife through my guts and takes pride in the mess she creates. “Why come, then?”
“Because until fifteen minutes ago, I thought you gave a shit about me.”
“I do.”
“And yet, you’re taking me to court!” She sets the laptop aside, presumably before it gets broken. “Now is not the time to talk, Toby, if you want this to go well.”
I love her when she’s herself, playing those stupid fucking video games. I love her when she’s deep in her passion, stubbornly arguing her right to pen her words. And I love her even now when she looks ready to kill me in my sleep.
There’s something seriously wrong with my standards.
“I told you I’d fix this,” I say as level as I can manage. “And I meant it.”
Jeanie leans closer. “You. Can’t.”
I snare the front of her jacket and tug her forwards. She crashes to the floor on her knees, matching my stance as I slide off the chair. Knee to knee, and hip to hip, I demand this fucking woman tell me what I already know.
“What the hell?” she seethes.
Jeanie loves me too, and that’s why she hurts so bad.
“Your reputation doesn’t mean a fucking thing to me.” My words feather across her shocked face. “And you know why?”
“Because you’re an egotistical ass?”
“Because I’d love you either way.” I stop her from making some bullshit argument with my mouth against hers.
She bites my fucking lip.
“Cut it out.” I lick the offending spot and then go for round two, my hand wrapped under her jaw.
She kisses me back this time. At least, for a little while. Hands hard against my chest, she pushes me until I fall on my back, legs kicking out. “I’m still mad. This doesn’t change a thing.”
“You can be mad all you like, babe.” I prop myself on my elbows. “But don’t get yourself confused and start thinking you don’t care about me.”
She stalks over top of me, stopping with hands braced either side of my shoulders and legs encasing my thighs. “I don’t care about you.”
My left eye pinches, snarling as I formulate my argument.
“I dumb enough to fall in love with you too.” Her hair shields us from the world, her mouth hot against mine before she mumbles against my lips. “Even though you’ll keep on hurting me.”
“It’ll never be intentional.” I whisper the promise and slide one hand behind her head, pulling her to the floor with me. “You’ll ruin me before it is.”
“We’re already ruined.” She sets her weight on top of me. I fucking love it.
I pause to pay attention to her pulse against my chest, the cadence of her breaths as they mingle with mine in the space between us. Rich honey eyes search for something—perhaps honesty. That’s all I have left to give.
It’s in these moments of utter silence with her that I’m reminded why I can’t deny the way I feel. As an intellectual, I’ve always felt the need to be stimulated by something other than our base instincts. But on the floor of a hotel room with what should be my enemy pressed down on top of me, I know there’s nothing else I’d rather have.
She’s enough as she is. Epically flawed and painfully real.
Anything less, and she’d be like anyone else.
“You still want me to go?” I give her nape a gentle squeeze.
Her scowl breaks, face softening until she gently smiles. “Not yet.”
“Don’t stop fighting for what’s important to you,” I plead. “Don’t stop testing me. Ever.”
“On one condition.” She brings a hand between us to gently stroke the slope of my nose.
If I could purr, I would. “Name it.”
“That you never stop telling me when to pull my head in.”
“It’s not in my nature to be submissive.” I nip at her full bottom lip and then roll us, so I’m on top.
She laughs. “Could have fooled me.”
“Or did I fool you?” She grins while I push up to sit, straddling her thighs. “I’ve got half an hour before I need to be back at the studio. So, this is how things are gonna go.”
FORTY-SIX
Jeanie
“Do Your Worst” – Rival Sons
The muscles flex in his back as he buckles his belt, feet bare against the plush carpet. I sit on the end of the hotel bed, legs folded, and do my best to ignore the creeping feeling I gave in too quickly. Perhaps if I hadn’t been the first to strike with that goddamn story, I might have stood my ground a little longer. But there was only so long I could stay angry with Toby before it became two-faced after what I’ve done.
“Do you think you’ll be able to get my involvement struck from the record?” I bunch Toby’s T-shirt tight around my waist. “Tell me, honestly.”
He turns, a smirk tugging his lips higher on the left when he sees what I’ve done. “I’m gonna let you away with it… this time.” His hair falls forward, partially shielding one eye when he leans down for a kiss. “Don’t think you can start stealing all my clothes.”
“I like roomy shirts.”
“And I like you in it.” He places his lips to mine briefly and then stands. “To answer your question, though, I don’t know for sure.” He crosses the room and tugs a clan T-shirt from the drawers.
I find it curious he unpacks as though he lives here when most people continue to live out of their suitcases.
“Rick wants me to tell him why it matters.”
“Why won’t you?” I choose to ignore the swirl of acid in my gut.
“Because if I tell him, it admits that I went against his word and kept in touch with you.”
I snort. “What is he? Your father?” Fuck—I hope not. I didn’t research that deep into Bauer Media.
“Obviously not,” he sasses with a roll of his eyes. “But his old man is our boss.” He stops at the foot of the bed and folds his arms, stance wide. “If I admit we have something going on, it jeopardizes the credibility of the rest of the case.” Toby sighs, pushing one hand through his hair. “To have a case accepted for the publishing of private facts, I have to prove that the shit Better Beats shared isn’t in the public interest or that any reasonable person would find it offensive or not necessary for them to know.”
“Okay.” I think I understand. “So, you need to prove that there’s no reasonable reason for people to know those things about you?”
“Pretty much how I understand it.” He shifts to sit at the end of the bed beside me while he laces his boots. “If I go public with us, it makes the rest of it seem unlikely. To be massively put out by what Devon wrote, I’d have to hold hostility toward you, too.”
“And if you don’t, it makes it look like you don’t care.”
“Yeah.” He leans forward, elbows
on knees. “Stay here while I figure it out.” Toby stands and then leans down to place a kiss on my cheek. “I’ll find a way around it.”
His words are no more convincing ten minutes after he leaves than when he said them. I shift back to the living area and tug my laptop onto my lap, still in his T-shirt but now paired with my jeans. I try my best to focus on the job-listing sites, but after scrolling the same page four times, I set the computer aside.
I get where Toby comes from with this. But what if he does find a way to drop my involvement without letting on that we’re… ugh. What are we? Involved, I guess. Seems ambiguous enough. Does he keep me a secret? How long would be long enough before he could come clean without risking anything?
I wander around the suite in an attempt to clear my head. It takes all of a minute to tour the standard hotel room. A person can only look at so many contemporary pieces of furniture before they start to question what they’re doing with their life. For me, it took about three. I make a coffee from the complimentary stuff in the kitchenette and then get comfy next to the window. The weather is too cold to go outside, and besides, I have an irrational fear of balconies. Heights? No issue. Small spaces way up high where you could trip and fall off the side? Fuck no, thank you very much.
The wind changes direction; the flag on the building opposite whips to the other side of the pole. I cast my eyes higher and trace the outline of the darker clouds coming in underneath the speckled blue sky. It’s been an age since I saw a good storm and, on a day when my head is one of its own, watching the weather turn sounds like a good idea. I find a soft faux fur throw over the chair in the bedroom and drag it back to my spot by the window. The rain starts, the spots erratic on the glass before the steady stream draws pictures with the flow.
My phone rings.
“For fuck’s sake.” I tumble out of my blanket mound, knocking over the empty coffee cup in the process. I barely make it to my bag before the voicemail can click in. “Hello?” I didn’t even have time to check the display.
“You fucking cunt of a whore.” Mole.
“I’ve missed you too.”
“I have a fucking subpoena!”
“Yeah. Me too when they figure out where I am.” I don’t have time for this asshole to blame me for his lack of morals. “What do you want?”
“You told them who I am. You gave them my number.”
“Afraid not.” Kind of wish I had thought of that now, though. “I didn’t say a damn thing about you.”
“Then, how do they know who I am?”
“Ask yourself that, jackass.” I return to my spot and then shift to a seat. “You mustn’t be all that great at covering your tracks.” No way do I want to sully my storm-watching spot with his drama.
“What are you going to do about it?” he growls.
“What am I going to do about it?” I sit a little straighter. “Why the fuck do I have to do anything?”
“I’m out of a job thanks to you.”
“And I’m out of one as well, thanks to your useless information. I guess that makes us even.”
The asshole laughs. “Well, isn’t that poetic?”
“Hardly, you pucker-faced mole.” I rise to my feet to burn some pent-up frustration. “Whatever happens to you is justified. You brought this bullshit on yourself by not being grateful for the position you had.” I stride back and forth in front of the growing storm outside. “People dream of getting as close to the action as you did, but you couldn’t be satisfied with that. No. You had to be greedy and try to make a buck off other people’s private lives.”
“Do you hear yourself?” He snickers. “Pot calling the kettle black, honey.”
“I never published private information. Every story I wrote, including the passion pieces in college, were sourced from public fact or willingly given information from the subject themselves. I don’t fuck with people’s family.”
“Really?” He snorts. “You’ve fucked with mine. See you in court, bitch.”
The angry little shit hangs up, leaving me with an awful taste in my mouth. I never, not once, considered that he might be a family man. Sure, it sucks that I’m out of a job too, but I don’t have anyone depending on me. Don’t feel sorry for the fool now. He brought this on himself; he deserves what he gets.
And I did the same. So, why then do I luck out with the main prize?
FORTY-SEVEN
Toby
“Save Me Some Sunshine” - Rafferty
"I've done something stupid."
Cassie chuckles on the other end of the line. "That is not something I ever thought I'd hear you say."
"I need a woman's point of view."
The jovial lilt to her voice vanishes. "Okay? Is this about that journalist girl?"
"Perhaps." I sigh and head for the studio door. "Fine. It's about Jeanie."
"First name basis, huh?"
I scowl event though she can't see me. "The goddamn court issued a subpoena for her. A server tried to slap it on her at the airport."
"Okay. Back up." Cassie huffs. "First, why is this your issue? And second, what the hell is there an airport involved?"
"You haven't been on your socials today?" Even me, with one fucking account, has seen the aftermath of my stunt at the arrivals lounge.
"Briefly. But believe it or not, my first port of call, when I do, isn't to check up on my big brothers."
"I flew her in to see me. While I'm here, recording."
"Jesus, Toby." The face-slap is in the tone of her words. "You don't mess with your creative time. You know that."
"Can't do much about it now," I snap, ripping the front door open. "She's here." I punt through the next one and into the control room.
Emery gives me a lift of the chin before returning his attention to Rey and Kris, who currently battle it out with something seemingly impromptu, given what the tech does. Or doesn't.
"Where does my advice come in then?" Cassie pauses to let the music infiltrate the line. "Say hi to Rey for me."
"Will do." I flop onto the sofa and give Em the side-eye. He doesn't notice, a broad smile on his face as he watches the other two go stupid with the sounds they create—I hesitate to call it music. "She thinks we're impossible."
"I would have said the same thing at face value. You're suing her for crying out loud."
"Exactly her issue." I pause while Emery crosses the room and busts into the sound booth with the other two morons. "She's got every right to be mad about it, but what I need from you is an objective opinion. Is it enough to always be a wedge between us, or do you think she'd get over it?"
Cassie sighs. "It's hard to say, Tobes. What's the potential fallout of this for her?"
"Nobody wanting to work with her because she's untrustworthy."
My baby sis snorts. "Are any media trustworthy?"
"Not entirely, but there's an ethics code they try not to break."
"And these proceedings prove she knowingly did so?"
"Yeah." I lift a hand to greet Rey when he exits the booth. "Sis says hi."
"Hey, Cassie," he hollers. "We're all behaving. The strippers make sure they stay hydrated between shifts on the pole."
"He's not funny," she drolls.
"She says that's good to hear," I tease, eliciting a mischievous grin from my brother. "Am I being unreasonable, though?" I ask Cassie.
She exhales heavily. "I don't think so. But I think perhaps you push it too soon. Do you get where I'm coming from? She needs to process one thing at a time, and if you push the envelope with whatever you two have going on, then she might get overwhelmed and bolt."
"I understand."
"Be careful, okay? What does Rick say about this?"
"He doesn't know." Rey lifts his head at my words, and I mouth, "Not you."
"Wow." Cassie hesitates before continuing. "If you break the rules, then this must be serious."
"Feels like it." I lean back on the seat and set my free hand on top of my head. "Thanks for the insight.
"
"You need to talk to Rick about it."
"Not going to happen."
"Why not?"
I flick my gaze to Rey and find him bent over his phone—probably messaging Tabitha. "Because he told me to drop it otherwise, I jeopardize the court case."
"Who is this for? The legal shit? You, or them?"
"Them, now." I take a moment to absorb the new backline Emery strikes inside the booth. "I better go and pay attention to what's going on around here."
"Well, if you won't talk to Rick, maybe you can talk to Rey." She adds softly, "It involves him too, your decision, doesn't it?"
I rest my attention on the guy. "Yeah. You're right."
"Let me know how you get on, okay?"
I promise to give her a call tomorrow and end the call. Rey glances across and gestures toward the sound booth. "You heard him play this one?"
"Nope. New to me."
"Awesome, isn't it? Never thought he'd be able to write sober, but he comes up with some epic shit so far."
"We're all full of surprises." I draw a deep breath and glance to the technician's back. The guy had to sign an NDA like all our employees, but after the shit with Jeanie's rat, I can't say I trust anyone anymore. "Can we talk in the meeting room for a moment?"
Rey frowns. "Whatever it is, I didn't knowingly do it."
I roll my eyes and shake my head. "It's not about you, princess."
"Makes a change," he mutters, rising to his feet. "Come on then. I'm enjoying listening to this." He leads me through to the adjacent soundproofed conference room.
The stark contrast from the control room puts me on edge. It feels so much more comfortable, homely when surrounded by the notes and beats of what it is we're here for. Silence leaves room for so much else.
Rey drops his ass into the seat at the table's head and promptly kicks his boots onto the table. "You have ten minutes, Mr. Thomas. Stun me with your presentation." He does a flourish with his hand.
"You're such a smartass." I sit adjacent to his and rest my elbows on the table, hunched forward. "I need to talk to you about the court proceedings."
