by C. S. Gunn
“Where is she? I need to see her.”
“Get out of here stone. She doesn’t want to talk to you.”
“Just let me in. Let me explain shit to her.”
“No, there’s nothing to explain. Her heart is in pieces and you’re the cause of it. Now go!” She tries to shut the door but I stop it with my hand.
“Aspen! Please! It’s not what you think. Just let me see you! Aspen!”
“Go the fuck home, Stone. Now!” She shoves the door shut.
“FUCK!” I slam my fist into the stucco wall next to their door. I have to talk to her. I would never hurt her like this, how could she think that I would. I fucking love her. She needs to know that, I need to stop being a pussy and fucking tell her.
I get back to the bar and grab a bottle of scotch so that I can go up to my apartment and drink myself to death. Just as I exit the bar I see Callie. “Hey stud. You okay?”
“No. No I’m not.” I don’t know if I’ll ever be okay again.
“You want company?”
“Sure, come on.”
Callie and I go up to my apartment and I plop myself down on the couch. Not bothering to get a glass, I take a swig from the bottle.
“You can talk to me Stone. You always can.” She sits next to me and rests her palm on my upper thigh.
I look in her eyes and take another swig. “I don’t need to talk.”
“I’ll give you whatever you need. You know that.” I know she will, she loves me. She shouldn’t but she does. And I’m a complete dick for what I’m about to do, because I have no intention of loving her back. My heart belongs to Aspen, even if she doesn’t want it. I fist the back of her hair and crush my lips to hers, it tastes wrong. She moans against my lips, it sounds wrong. She climbs on my lap and grinds herself on my cock, it feels wrong. What the fuck am I doing? Gently removing her, I stand up.
“I can’t do this.”
“Did I do something wrong?”
“No, it’s not you.”
“What is it then?” She looks confused.
“I’m in love with someone.” It feels so good to say it out loud. “I’m sorry, you don’t deserve this. You should go.” How could I have brought her up here? What’s wrong with me?
“I was still hoping that one day it would be me that you gave your heart to. Whoever she is, she’s a very lucky girl. Don’t hurt her, okay?” She gives me a kiss on the cheek and leaves the apartment. She took it better than I expected, I hope she finds what she’s looking for. Callie deserves to be happy. Deciding that the liquor would do more harm than good I put it away, alcohol isn’t going to solve anything. The only thing that will fix this is talking to my girl. I hope she’ll still be my girl.
***
Aspen
“You need to get out of bed, Aspen. You’ve been lying here for days.” It’s been three days since I found out that Stone has been seeing other women, and all I’ve done since then is sleep and cry. My whole world has been turned upside down and I feel sick to my stomach. But Aly is right. I need a shower and something to eat.
“I know. I’m sorry I’ve been such a mess lately.”
“Don’t be sorry. I just hate seeing you like this. Have you talked to him at all?”
“No. He sent me a text again last night asking if we could talk. He said there’s something he needs to tell me. But I can’t face him right now.” How will I ever face him again?
“Maybe you should just talk to him.”
“Are you joking?” She has to be.
“It could give you closure.”
“I don’t need closure. I need distance, Aly.”
“Have you ever met that girl? How do you know she’s telling you the truth?”
“She knows about his tattoo, Aly. There’s no way she could have seen it without the two of them being intimate.”
“She could just be a jealous ex from years ago. He cares about you, Aspen, a lot. At least think about talking to him, okay?”
Maybe she’s right. I’m not ready yet, but I should talk to him. He deserves at least that much. “Okay, I’ll think about it.”
***
The next morning I wake up to a text from Chad…perfect just what I need.
Chad: Hey Bunny. I got into town last night. I know you said you were seeing someone, but can we meet for dinner?
Me: No.
Chad: Come on. It’s just dinner. Just hear me out, if you still want nothing to do with me, I’ll never contact you again.
It’s looking like I have no choice, if I don’t meet with him he’ll just keep bugging me until I do…and I’ll never be rid of him.
Me: Fine, if it will make you leave me alone. When?
Chad: Tonight at 8. I’ll text you the name of the restaurant as soon as I make the reservations.
Me: Fine, whatever.
This is a stupid idea. I really don’t want to see him. I just want him out of my life. Aly is going to kill me when she finds out.
It’s seven thirty now and I’m almost ready to go. Chad text me the name of the nicest Italian restaurant in town, guess he’s trying to impress me…nothing he does will ever accomplish that. I don’t get too done up, I don’t want to look like I actually care. I just dress up enough so that I don’t look completely out of place.
“Where are you going?” Aly asks surprised.
“Dinner.”
“You’re giving Stone another chance?”
“No. I’m not going with Stone.”
“Who then? You haven’t been out of your room, how did you meet someone else already?”
“I didn’t. I’m meeting Chad.”
“Are you fucking kidding me, Aspen? That guy is the scum of the earth. You’re just going to run back to him?”
I feel my anger rise. How could she think I would run back to that dick? “No, that’s not what I’m doing. He won’t leave me alone, Aly! He won’t take the fucking hint! I even told him I was seeing Stone, but he’s still bothering me. If this is the only way for him to go away, then so be it.” I take a deep breath. “I just need him gone, okay?”
“Okay. Just be careful, don’t let him sweet talk you. He used to be really good at that.” She’s not wrong. He was always able to get me to forgive him with his fake charm. That’s not going to happen this time though. My heart belongs to another cheater….Stone is the only one who can hurt me now.
I arrive at the restaurant just before eight, I see him standing at the entrance with a smile on his face and my stomach turns. What did I ever see in him? “Hey Bunny. You look tired.” Really? That’s the compliment he pays me after begging me to see him?
“Thanks. I try.” I respond dryly.
“Don’t get me wrong. You look great, just tired.” He guides me into the restaurant and the hostess seats us at a candle lit table. “I hear their lasagna is to die for.” I have no idea, I don’t even eat lasagna. He would know that if he paid attention to anything about me while we were together.
The waitress comes by and takes our drink orders. I order their biggest glass of red wine so I can make it through this bullshit.
“Big drinker now?”
“Yup, looks like it.” I roll my eyes…of course he doesn’t even notice. Chad is still the most important person in Chad’s life.
“You were always such a lightweight when we were together.” He laughs to himself like he’s reminiscing about good times. “You were so cute when you got a buzz.”
“Can we skip the small talk, what is that you want from me?”
“Look, Aspen. I’m sorry about what happened. I was just in a bad place in my life.”
“You were? My parents just died!” How dare he!
“I know, and I’m sorry. I handled things wrong. You didn’t deserve that.” He reaches across the table and places his hand over mine. “I was stupid. Can you ever forgive me?” He almost looks like he cares…but I know better.
“Seriously? I saw you in your car with her the day you broke up with me.” He
doesn’t seem surprised. Maybe they did see me after all, probably got a good laugh from it too.
“Candace meant nothing to me. She never did. I’m done with her now.”
“And you thought I would just take you back?” It’s almost laughable that he thinks I’d still be waiting for him when things didn’t work out the way he wanted them too.
“How long?”
“How long what?”
“How long were you seeing her behind my back?”
“Bunny, let’s not do this.”
“Stop calling me that! How long?” I narrow my eyes.
“Six or seven months. But I was just waiting for you to realize that I was the man that you were meant to give your virginity to.” He really just tried to justify cheating.
“Really? Well, you’re too late. My virginity was never for you to have.” I snatch my hand away from his.
“You…you’re not a virgin anymore? You slept with another man?” He actually has the nerve to look offended. “How could you, I worked so hard for that right.”
“That right was never yours. The man I gave it to deserved it far more than you ever did.” I stood up and grabbed my purse. “Don’t ever contact me again, Chad. We will never be anything.” I left him sitting there alone, without looking back.
***
Stone
I can’t believe what I’m seeing. It’s got to be a mistake. Aspen is walking into a restaurant with another man. I feel my blood boil. I want to kill whoever that fucker is and drag her away. I want to shake the shit out of her and ask her if she ever really cared for me at all. Most of all, I want to kiss her, make love to her, show her who the fuck she belongs to. I drive away and head back home. I’m definitely drowning myself at the bottom of a bottle tonight. Maybe I should have fucked Callie….but I couldn’t, I still can’t.
***
Aspen
“So? How was the dinner from hell?” Aly asks as soon as I enter the apartment.
“It was hell. I told him to leave me the hell alone and stormed out.”
“That’s my girl.”
“He actually got upset that I wasn’t a virgin anymore.” I laughed bitterly.
“For real?” She laughs. “Serves him right. Jerk.”
“Yeah. He also tried to justify cheating, said he was waiting for me to realize that I should sleep with him.”
“Are you sure we can’t kill him.” She asks with an arched brow.
“No, that’s still murder.” I smile, feeling better than I have in days. “I’m going to see Stone tomorrow. I think I’m ready to hear him out.” Meeting with Chad made me realize that Stone is nothing like him, not that I ever thought that he was. I was just so scared that he was doing the same thing to me that Chad did. I ran without even talking to him. I need him to know how much I love him. I need to tell him I’m sorry for running away from him instead of to him.
Chapter Twelve
Stone
Idrag myself out of bed and get ready to go down to the bar. Ashe did me a solid and opened for me. I was in no shape to do it myself. This shit with Aspen has me fucked up. I drank an entire bottle of scotch and then I don’t even know how many beers. I can’t think straight, I just want to be numb. I miss her like fucking crazy and it pisses me off. She wouldn’t even talk to me. Then she just moves right the fuck on to someone else.
“You look like shit man.” Ashe pours me a shot and sets it on the bar in front of me. “You probably don’t need this.”
“Thanks.” I slam the shot back. I don’t even feel the burn. “You can take off if you want.”
“Nah, I’ll stick around for a while. In the state you’re in, I’m not sure you should be left alone with other people.” He’s probably right.
“You talked to Aly?”
“A little. Why?”
“She tell you where Aspen was last night.”
“She said she was having dinner with some asshole ex.”
So she ran straight into the arms of an ex-boyfriend? Fucking fantastic.
“You followed her didn’t you?” He shakes his head.
“I didn’t go there with that intention. I went there to see if I could talk to her. She came out dressed up and got into her car. I wanted to see what the hell was going on. Now I know.”
“The way Aly talked about this guy, it doesn’t seem like it’s what you’re thinking. He cheated on Aspen, and broke things off with her right after her parents died. She caught him fucking some girl the same day, man.” Then why was she with him? Why the fuck would she run to that motherfucker after all of that? Why didn’t she just come and talk to me? Fuck!
I’ve been in the back, inside the office, for about an hour now. It’s a slow day so Ashe can handle the customers while I do some reports, even though reports aren’t actually getting done. I can’t fucking concentrate. I go out to the main bar to grab a beer, when I see her, my heart stops. She’s beautiful, even with her eyes puffy and red. She’s been crying. Was it because of me, or him?
“Can we talk somewhere?” She whispers. Fuck I’ve missed her voice.
“Yeah, in the office.” I turn back toward the office and she follows quietly.
As soon as she closes the door behind her I push her against it and slam my lips to hers, kissing her until we’re both breathless. I couldn’t control it. I can never control it with her. “Who was he?” I ask, pressing my forehead to hers once I break the kiss.
“Who was who?” Why is she lying to me?
I release her and step away. “You know who, Aspen. The guy you went to the restaurant with yesterday.” My anger rises. “Who the fuck was he?”
“You followed me?”
“Answer me! Who was that fucking dead man!?” She flinches, and I instantly regret yelling at her like that. The thought of her with another man drives me out of my mind with jealousy.
A tear rolls down her cheek, tearing my heart out as it falls. “Chad, my ex. He’s been asking me to meet with him.” She whispers so quietly that I almost don’t hear. “I kept telling him no, but he wouldn’t take no for an answer. He said that if I met with him once, he’d back off.”
“Did he try anything? Did he touch you?” He better hope the answer is no. Aspen is mine.
“No, I told him to fuck off and stormed out.” I relax my tense muscles. I should have trusted her. I should have just asked her. I would have if she would have talked to me. “Who’s Synthia?” I cringe just hearing that bitch’s name.
“Just some girl that used to hang around the bar until I kicked her out.”
“Did you ever sleep with her?”
“No, never.”
“Then how does she know about the tattoo? How could she have seen it?”
“She blew me once in a moment of desperation after I met you. I couldn’t get you out of my head and it was driving me fucking nuts.”
“Before or after we slept together?”
“Before. And I regret every fucking second of it.” I can see relief wash over her. “And before you ask, I’m not sleeping with Callie anymore.” I step toward her and cup her gorgeous face with both hands. “I haven’t been with her since the day before I met you.”
“How did you know I was going to ask about her next?”
“Synthia stopped by after she talked to you. She told me about the lies she told you. The crazy bitch thought that I would want her if she got you out of the picture.” I brush my lips against hers. “But that would never happen. I’ll never want anyone the way I want you. I love you, Aspen. So fucking much it hurts.”
Tears well up in her eyes and she smiles. “I love you too.” I kiss her again, this time slowly. I’ve missed kissing her, I’ve missed holding her. It felt so good to tell her how I feel, and to know she feels the same. She’s my world. I would bleed for her, kill for her, burn cities down for her. I want her to be happy for the rest of her life, and I want to be the one to ensure that.
We make love on the desk in my office, slowly, passionately,
savoring every inch of each other’s bodies. It feels like it’s been so long. I want to burn all of her into my memory. She’s where my home is, she’s the only place I belong.
When we finish, I help her dress before replacing my own clothing. Covering that body of hers has to be a sin…maybe I can convince her that it is. “Want a drink?”
“Dirty martini?”
“Anything for my dirty angle.” I wink as I open the door and guide her into the main bar. When we walk out we see Aly sitting at the end of the bar talking to Ashe, he must have called her, unless she came with Aspen, I have no idea. When they notice us, they both start clapping. The five customers in the bar join in, wide smiles on all of their faces. I look over at Aspen, she’s blushing, redder than I’ve ever seen her. I flash a triumphant smile and walk behind the bar. I got my girl back, and everyone here knows who she belongs to now, what’s there not to feel triumphant about?
***
Aspen
We spent most of the day at the bar with the guys, talking and laughing… and flirting. I don’t just mean Stone and me. But I’m not bringing it up. It seems like a lost cause for now. Leaving Stone today was hard, very hard. We’ve spent so much time apart lately, due to the lies and jealousy of another woman, that I wanted nothing more than to stay with him all night. But I have to work tomorrow, and I know that if I stayed, that wouldn’t happen. I can’t miss another day. I called in for a couple days when Stone and I were going through our uncertainties. I really don’t want to lose my job.
“Pizza, movie, then bed?” Aly asks, ready to dial for delivery.
“Yes! You read my mind.” She always knows just what I need.
After we eat and finish the movie we head to bed, I’m exhausted. This week took a lot out of me. I hear my phone and grab it, if it’s Chad, I might just let Aly murder him after all.
Stone: You thinking about me?
Me: Always.
I smile, body on fire. It’s always on fire when it comes to Stone.
