Natalia

by Jami Alden

  So instead of focusing on the foolish longings for something more, she focused on him, the heavy weight of his body, the feel of his mouth on hers, his big, callused hands on her skin. This was all she could have. And she wasn’t dumb enough to let herself long for anything more.

  Ian awoke to the trill of the alarm on his phone, signaling that it was time to wake up. He didn’t bother to open his eyes as he reached out and turned it off, sighing as the motion brought him flush against Natalia curled up next to him. Damn, she felt good, all warm and soft and sleepy. She lay on her side, one bare thigh flung over his crotch, her hand splayed across his chest.

  He rocked his hips up, rubbing his insistent morning wood against the smooth skin of her leg and rolled on his side to face her. She stirred but didn’t wake when he put his arm around her and ran his hand down the smooth skin of her back. He swallowed hard at the sight of her features illuminated by the morning sunlight leaking through the gap in his curtains.

  She was so beautiful it made his chest tight. Her lashes were thick, dark crescents on her defined cheekbones. Her full lips were parted slightly as she breathed heavily in sleep. He drank her in, captivated, as the memories of the night before ran through his mind. Despite all of the times he’d fantasized about having sex with Natalia, there was nothing that could have prepared him for the real thing.

  To say it was the best sex he’d ever had was an understatement. But it was more than just his body’s physical reaction to her. There was something else there, something about her that brought everything to a whole other level.

  He ran his hand over her shoulder, down her arm. She had the softest skin he’d ever felt, like silk against his callused palm. At the caress, her eyebrows knit into an unconscious frown and she made a little sound of protest. Her eyelids fluttered and then she was staring sleepily at him, her dark eyes still blurry with sleep.

  “Morning, Princess.”

  Her lips curved in a sleepy smile. “Morning, cowboy.”

  At the sight of that smile he felt something well up inside him, an overwhelming sensation like he was free falling off a cliff but didn’t care that he was going to come crashing to the ground.

  A voice, insistent, whispered in his head, I want to wake up to that smile every morning for the rest of my life.

  He gave his head a little shake against the pillow. Where the fuck had that come from? Sure, the sex was great, and they had a great connection, but that was no reason to get carried away. He didn’t believe in love at first sight or soulmates or any of that bullshit. Hell, maybe it was because he was turning thirty and all of his friends were pairing off and getting married.

  Maybe Natalia had reappeared in his life just as some new biological imperative was overtaking him and making him think all kinds of crazy thoughts.

  “You ok?”

  He forced his lips into the shape of a smile. “I spent the night having the best sex of my life with a beautiful woman. Why wouldn’t I be ok?”

  Her cheeks turned pink and her mouth curved in a satisfied smile. She reached out and rested her hand on his cheek. “You just looked kind of angry for a second.”

  He wasn’t about to tell her the crazy shit that was going through his head. Instead he turned his face and pressed his lips against the center of her hand. He slid his hand to the small of her back and rolled them both over, so she was laying on top of him. “I’m feeling a lot of things right now and anger isn’t one of them.” He shifted his hips, rubbing his cock against her smooth belly.

  She gave a little gasp as her eyelids dropped. He cupped the back of her head and pulled her mouth to his. He groaned as her lips eagerly parted against his, her tongue twining with his. Like every time, a simple kiss sent an electric current of lust through him so intense it set off an explosion in his brain.

  And not just lust, but a whole lot of other emotions that he didn’t have the first clue what to do with. But the feel of her, the soft weight of her tits pressed against his chest, of her straddling his thigh and grinding her pussy against him distracted him from the unfamiliar emotions and whatever warning bells they might have set off.

  His hands slid down to cup her ass and he pressed his leg more firmly against her. A moan bubbled up her throat at the pressure and sent a surge of heat to his cock. He reached out with one hand and sifted through the empty condom wrappers on the nightstand until he found an unopened one.

  “Hold on.” He gently pushed her back so he could put it on, groaning when she took the opportunity to wrap her small, soft hand around him. The sight of it, her delicate fingers around the thick shaft, was almost enough to make him come right then and there.

  She pumped him slowly, firmly, coaxing a bead of pre-come to form on the tip. She spread it around with her thumb, ripping a choked sound from his chest as lust thundered through his body. It wasn’t just the way she was touching him. It was the way she was looking at him, with a hunger that matched his own.

  To see his own overwhelming desire reflected back at him threatened to send him right over the edge. He reached down and caught her wrist to halt the maddening motion of her hand. “Stop,” he gritted. “You need to stop, or I’m going to lose it.”

  Reluctantly she released him, but kept her gaze eagerly glued to his cock as he quickly sheathed himself. He barely got the condom on before she climbed on top of him. She settled her knees on either side of his hips and once again took him in hand to hold him in position.

  He rested his hands on her hips and watched as the blunt head of his cock disappeared inside of her. Her head fell back, her throat arching as she moaned and slid lower.

  “That’s it. Take it. Take all of me.” The sight of him being enveloped in her body, combined with the feel of her so hot and tight around him made him feel like the top of his head was about to blow off.

  But that was nothing compared to when she started moving. First at a leisurely pace, rising so that she held all but the tip of him inside before sinking slowly back down. He gritted his teeth, fighting the urge to grab her by the waist and buck his hips up hard and fast against her.

  Her tits bounced softly as she rode him, and he leaned up to take a hard pink nipple into his mouth. He sucked her hard, groaning when she tightened around him in response. As he sucked and licked at the sensitive tips, her movements grew faster, more frantic.

  His head fell back on the pillow and she braced her hands on his shoulders. He rocked his hips up to meet her with every downward thrust. “God, that’s so good,” she murmured as she rode him hard, like she couldn’t get him deep enough.

  She was so gorgeous, with her wild black curls spilling down her back, her head thrown back as her moans echoed up to the ceiling. His balls pulled up tight against his body and the muscles in his thighs pulled as tight as wire cables. He knew he wouldn’t last much longer.

  Thank God she was close too, her face pulled tight with pleasure as she chased down the orgasm looming just over the horizon. He moved a hand from her hip until it rested just above the silky patch of dark curls at the top of her sex. His thumb slid down to cover the swollen bud of her clit. She shuddered at the touch and her body rippled and pulsed around his cock. He circled it once, twice, and then she stiffened against him with a sharp cry.

  With a shout of pleasure and relief he let himself follow her into the abyss. He squeezed his eyes shut as his climax overtook him. His cock pulsed inside her as he came with such force that he felt like every cell in his body was trying to escape through the tip of his dick.

  Natalia collapsed against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her tightly like he was afraid she was going to disappear. As their heartbeats slowed and their breathing grew more controlled, he was overcome with a sense of deep satisfaction unlike anything he’d ever experienced.

  It was more than the sexual satisfaction that left him feeling utterly wrung out and depleted of energy. He felt a sense of deep peace, contentment. Rightness.

  That was it. In this moment, holding
Natalia in his arms, all of the pieces of his life had finally fallen perfectly into place.

  Oh shit. Dread clenched at his stomach, obliterating the sense of peace in a heartbeat. His hand froze against Natalia’s back and he was moved by a sudden urge to get some space, to clear his head of these ridiculous notions.

  “We should get up.”

  She lifted her head. “It’s so early, though.”

  He gently but firmly moved her to his side. “I need to get going. And you better get back to the big house if you don’t want to get caught doing the walk of shame.”

  He swung his legs over the side of the bed and headed for the bathroom. When he got out, Natalia was no longer in the bedroom, but he could hear her moving around the cabin. The coward in him wanted to stay in here until she left, but even his current freak out wouldn’t allow him to be that much of a douche.

  She was dressed in the yoga pants and tank top from the night before, her hair a wild tumble over her shoulders. “I had to hunt for the tank top,” she said with a grin. “Somehow it ended up behind your couch.”

  He tried to smile back. Her smile turned into confusion. “Are you all right?”

  “Of course,” he said, his voice tight. “I just have a lot I need to get done today.”

  “I’ll get out of your hair then.” He didn’t miss the confusion and hurt in her eyes. His heart pinched in his chest and guilt curdled in his belly. “I had a really nice time last night, Ian.” Her cheeks flushed. “And this morning.”

  “Me too.”

  She took a hesitant step towards him but stopped at what he knew was a strained expression on his face. “Well, I guess I’ll see you later.” As she turned and headed for the door, he balled his hands into fists to keep from taking her in his arms and telling her he never wanted her to leave his side.

  Instead he said, “Yeah, see ya.” Her shoulders stiffened and he felt another punch of guilt. Once again, he was pushing her away because he didn’t know how to deal with his too intense feelings for her. But right now, he didn’t have a goddamn clue how else to deal with it.

  Chapter 7

  With three days to go before the wedding, Natalia had officially entered the phase of event planning she liked to call crazy town. This was the part where she needed to make sure everything would be delivered on time and set up properly so that on the big day she would be free to deal with whatever last minute snafu lifted its ugly head.

  And it always lifted its ugly head. It didn’t help that Olivia, Emily, and Cora’s cousin Krystal who was also part of the bridal party, had arrived this afternoon. They promptly whisked Cora into town for manicures followed by dinner and drinks. Olivia insisted that they do it as sort of a bachelorette party lite, even though Cora’s official bachelorette party had taken place at the exclusive Holley Cay Resort a little more than a month before.

  Even though Natalia planned to join them for dinner later, right now she was too busy getting the barn ready for the photo shoot to join them. As a result, she was suffering from a serious case of FOMO as she directed the helpers Ian had helped her hire from town to position hay bales and hang tulle from the rafters.

  On the morning of the wedding Josie the florist would arrive with all of the flowers as well as the garlands for the horses. Despite Ian’s protests, she was totally going with that idea.

  Her jaw clenched at the thought of Ian. She’d gotten a very weird vibe from him that morning, the way he’d done a total one eighty from “you’re amazing and that was the best sex of my life” to basically, “Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.”

  Since he’d been so helpful in the last couple of weeks, she’d fully expected him to be around today and tomorrow to help with all of the last minute details, but she hadn’t seen him since she’d left his cabin earlier that morning.

  Was he avoiding her?

  Stop being such a narcissist, she scolded herself. Ian has an actual full time job that doesn't involve decorating his barn with tulle and flowers and coaxing his horses to stand still for a photo shoot.

  Satisfied that they had done all they could do to the barn’s photo shoot set up until the morning of the wedding, she dismissed her helpers and walked over to the big house, pulling out her phone as she moved. She dialed the caterers to make sure everything was all set with the menu, and as she did, she saw Ian, riding toward her on the four-wheeler.

  Her stomach flipped as she waved and smiled. Instead of stopping to greet her, he blew right past her, sparing only a quick nod of his head in greeting.

  If that didn’t convince her that he was avoiding her, his behavior over the next two days sealed it. The few times he was in her presence, he greeted her politely, yet distantly, and quickly turned his attention elsewhere. As if she were a casual acquaintance with whom he hadn’t spent several hours a day for the last ten days. As if he hadn’t had her, naked in his bed just two nights ago.

  Clearly, he was still the same jerk he’d been twelve years ago. That helpful attitude and friendly banter? Just a ruse to seal the deal. And now that he’d gotten what he wanted, she was yesterday’s news.

  This was why, until now, she’d never had sex outside of a committed relationship. Clearly, she was one of “those girls” who wasn’t capable of having a casual attitude about sex. Call her old fashioned, but this feeling of being used and tossed aside like a soiled tissue? Not something she ever wanted to experience again.

  “What’s up, Nat?” Emily, who was seated next to her at the rehearsal dinner, leaned in close to ask her question. Trey’s parents, who were in charge of the rehearsal dinner (thank God because Natalia couldn’t handle one more thing being added to her plate) had chosen to have it at one of the nicest restaurants in Bozeman.

  The venue was beautiful, and the food was delicious, but if Natalia had been in charge, she would have taken one look at the dining room and nixed it. As gorgeous as it was with its polished wood floors, massive stone fireplace and high ceiling framed with heavy wooden beams and chandeliers made of antler horns, the acoustics were terrible. With fifty people seated around five tables of ten heavily engaged in conversation, it was no wonder Emily had to practically yell straight into her ear to be heard.

  Across the room, she caught sight of Trey’s mother, Priscilla, her expression strained as she said something to the waiter leaning over her table. She felt a burst of sympathy - she of all people knew how it felt when an event didn’t go as you hoped. But, as the saying went, not her circus, not her monkeys.

  “I’m fine,” she took a sip from the glass of cabernet in front of her. It was her second, and it had to be her last. She couldn’t afford to be the least bit hung over in the morning. “I’m just stressed about tomorrow.”

  Sure. It’s all wedding stress. It has nothing to do with the way Ian is over at his table, completely ignoring you while he flirts with Cora’s friend Devon with the shady wine business.

  Objectively, she couldn’t blame him. With her cat like hazel eyes and long mane of honey blond hair, Devon was undeniably attractive. And the way she laughed at whatever he said and repeatedly touched his arm and shoulder, it was clear she was ready and willing to take a ride on his hobby horse.

  The few bites of venison loin Natalia had managed to consume solidified into a lump the size of a bowling ball in her stomach.

  “It’s going to be great,” Emily hollered into her ear. “Just as long as no one gets food poisoning or goes into anaphylactic shock.”

  “Thanks for that.” Natalia shot her friend a dirty look and tossed her napkin on the table. “Be right back.”

  She headed for the restroom, carefully avoiding looking to her left so she wouldn’t have to see Ian and his latest target. Three days, she reminded herself. In just three days, after she dealt with the aftermath of the wedding, she would return to New York and would never see Ian again.

  Just days ago, the thought had made her heart squeeze in her chest. Now she felt like she couldn’t get away from him
fast enough.

  The restroom was thankfully empty. She had pasted on her party face and made small talk with distant friends and relatives of the bride and groom for the past two days until her cheeks and mouth felt stiff from the effort. It felt good to let her guard down, even for a few minutes.

  She used the toilet, washed her hands and did a quick check in the mirror. She smoothed her hair, straight again thanks to the blowout she’d gotten this afternoon.

  I like it curly. It makes you look sexy. Maybe a little wild.

  She shook her head, shoving the memory of Ian, the way his voice had dropped and his eyes had darkened as he reached out to wind his fingers through her curls. Her nose was a little shiny so she dusted it with powder. She dabbed on some ruby red lipstick and called it good.

  She stepped out into the corridor and stopped short when she saw Ian approaching. And damn it if her stomach didn’t flutter with butterflies and her heart didn’t pitter patter stupidly in her chest. But who could blame her? The guy was certifiably gorgeous, his tall rangy body clad in freshly pressed Wranglers and blue plaid pearl snap shirt that deepened the color of his eyes.

  And then there was the fact that she had intimate knowledge of what was under those clothes and just how amazing it was to roll around naked with Ian Blackwell.

  So, he’s gorgeous and good in bed. That doesn’t make him any less of an asshole.

  He started when he saw her walking toward him, and she saw something that looked an awful lot like guilt flash in his eyes.

  Good. You should feel guilty. Her jaw set and her eyes narrowed into a glare as she held his gaze and walked past him without a word.

  Only to have her progress halted when he reached out and caught her forearm in a gentle, yet unyielding grip.

  Fuck, he shouldn’t have touched her. Ian knew it the minute his hand made contact with the bare skin of her forearm and awareness spread like wildfire through every cell in his body. He had fully intended to let her pass. It was clear from her face that she was angry and thought he was a jerk.