Control him? She had no control over him at all. If she did, he would love her and this game of push and pull would be over.
“Lord Venmont? Is that you?” a voice called from somewhere, almost impossible to hear over the rushing waterfall and her heart.
Oliver stiffened and then pulled back. Her feet touched the water again. Their eyes met, and his gaze promised there would be more discussion later.
But she didn’t believe there would ever be a later for them. What more could they say?
Venmont turned around. “Lord Jolly!”
Jolly. It was one of the names Belle had mentioned.
Oliver grabbed the lantern in one hand and then Belle’s hand with the other. “Follow my lead. Step where I step. Can you obey that much as least?”
“No.”
“I thought not.” A second later, her feet were off the ground and Belle was over his shoulder.
She didn’t even bother to protest. She didn’t know where she was going, and she still feared drowning. She couldn’t believe she’d almost died. In a dark cave alone, there would have been no one to save her. Jolly likely only came because she and Oliver were shouting at one another.
She heard when his steps hit dry land. There was another mouth to the cave and as they made it to the narrow passage, he set her down. It was brighter here and as she turned around, she saw sconces lining the cave’s walls and leading around a curve.
Jolly stood close and when their eyes met, she smiled.
He was dressed in breeches, boots, and a shirt. The clothes were visibly clean and well attended to.
Jolly didn’t return her smile. “Lady Cebele.” He looked at Oliver with fear and a little anger.
“Lady Belle means no harm,” Oliver said, still unhappy. “She was treated just as foully as you were by Lord Gregory. She is a friend.”
Jolly looked at her again and nodded, but he didn’t smile. He clearly didn’t trust her.
Oliver got Belle’s attention. “Lord Jolly was elected mayor in the caves.”
“Mayor? Well, with their being so many people, I suppose they would need one.”
Jolly turned to Oliver. “She knows how many people are here? Why have you brought her here?”
“I didn’t bring her here,” Oliver bit out. “Belle thought to play Moses and lead you to the Promised Land.”
“That’s a little dramatic,” Belle said.
“But it was your intention, was it not?”
“You can’t keep them down here indefinitely out of fear,” Belle said. “They deserve to be free. Gregory is dead, has been dead for over a year.”
“I’ll decide when the time is right.”
She groaned. “The right time is now. There is no longer reason to be afraid. They should know what it is like to walk the streets of London and not have to look over their shoulders. They deserve to patronize the fine shops of Mayfair and eat ice cream during hot summers in the park. You must free them.” She turned to Jolly. “I have been experiencing it for the last year and it is glorious. Don’t let him keep you here.”
Jolly cleared his throat. “Technically, we’re not locked away, but I think you for championing us, my lady” He blushed slightly. “We can leave when we want, but we took a vote to let Oliver decide the best time.” His gaze had softened as he spoke and finally, he smiled.
“There,” Oliver said. “Are you happy now?”
She wasn’t. “I want to see everyone.” She wanted to see Mark, but she didn’t say that to Oliver. She didn’t want to get into another fight. She was still upset that he’d lied to her.
“It’s late. Everyone is asleep. I can have beds prepared for you. I’ll give you a moment and other leaders of your arrival,” Jolly said before he rushed back down the cave.
When he disappeared, Belle looked at Oliver again.
But he was already moving past her. “Come on.”
She caught up and had to rush to keep up with his legs. He was angry again, which only made her furious. He had no right to feel betrayed! He’d kept this from her on purpose. He’d kept hurting her on purpose.
Why? She didn’t understand it.
Before their moment by the waterfall, before he’d touched her and looked her with such need, she’d thought he hated her. He was confusing and perhaps that was because he was confused about himself. That reminded her about why she was here in the woods at all. He wanted her help to discover if he was afraid of his father.
He was clearly afraid of her dying.
She told herself that didn’t matter, but it did.
“So, your father knew nothing about these caves?” she asked.
He spoke without looking at her. “My father knew nothing about the forest. He went for the annual hunts as most gentlemen do, but his land overseer tended to most things for him.”
Keeping up with Oliver wasn’t easy. Belle took a few breaths. “What drew you here?”
“The peace. The silence.” He gave her a look full of meaning and then turned away.
She bit her lips to stop herself from shouting at him. She’d already embarrassed herself once in this cave. A second later, his feet slowed as if realizing she was struggling to keep up.
But she didn’t speak to him. Instead, she turned her mind to the task at hand. She would help the people in the cave and then she would leave.
She hated the idea of leaving the boys behind, but they’d manage without her. Oliver would see to it. He’d taken care of his brother Nicholas. He knew how to handle boys. It was women he struggled with.
“Actually, the forest isn’t quiet,” he said suddenly.
He kept his eyes straight ahead. His face no longer held his earlier tension. “It’s just… peaceful. Nature makes its own music. The world moves in a cycle. Even when everything else breaks, the world doesn’t. The season changes and life goes on around us.”
Belle had never heard Oliver say such a thing, and she felt as though another part of him had just been revealed.
∫ ∫ ∫
5 4
* * *
Oliver grew anxious underneath Belle’s trained stare. When it seemed to go on longer than he thought reasonable, he asked, “What?”
He’d slowed their walk. The main part of the cave was just up ahead. At first, he’d wanted to get her there as soon as possible, let her see the people, and then drag her out. But then he remembered all the walking Belle had done earlier that day and the effort she’d put into tearing down the wall.
“Do you feel broken?”
“What?” He stopped walking.
“Do you feel like everything is changing around you and you’re not changing, and thus that makes you broken? Or different?”
His heart pounded. “Perhaps.”
“What do you believe will put you where you need to be?”
He thought about that and then declared, “First, I’d have to find out where I need to be.”
She tilted her head. “Where do you want to be?”
He knew exactly where he wanted to be. With Belle. It had been his desire since the day they’d met. It didn’t matter exactly where they settled. He’d give up his land for her. He had given it up for years. He’d visited, but unless Gregory sent him on an assignment, he’d stayed as close to Belle as possible.
He was where he wanted to be.
“What do you believe your father wanted?” Belle asked.
“For us to be survivors to the point that we’d sacrifice everyone around us in order to live.” That was simple enough. “Survival meant his bloodline living long after he died. It was all he cared about.”
“And what do you care about?” she asked.
His stomach fell. “You.” He saw her stepping off the path in his head again. Had he not followed her into the cave, she’d be dead.
“I should have told you the truth,” he said. “But instead, I kept it a secret and then pushed you to come here. I’m dangerous to you, Belle.”
She stared at him and the
n turned away. “Very well,” she said over her shoulder.
He caught up with her in two strides. The path narrowed to the point that they were brushing against one another. “What does that mean?”
“You’re the most selfish, prideful man I know. Do you even hear yourself? Me, me, me. I, I, I.” She frowned at him. “It doesn’t matter what you continue to say about yourself. All that matters is that you can only see yourself.”
“That’s not true. You haven’t seen selfish. Also, I’m not blind. I see you—”
She stopped. “You don’t, because if you did, you’d see that I am dedicated to you. I am here. I love you. You want to push me away? You want me to change my mind? You think you’re bad for me?” She leaned toward him. “Get over yourself, Oliver. Because I’m here. I’m staying. Try and marry me to someone else. Try and set me aside. I’m not going anywhere. I’m yours, whether you want me or not.”
“That’s insane.”
“That is love!” She opened her arms. “Have you not been paying attention? Is that so unclear to you? That’s how it works when it’s unconditional. Love doesn’t change when someone upsets you or makes you angry. Love doesn’t give up. So, if you want to, you can keep making me angry and confusing my mind but know that you abuse my feelings along the way.”
Oliver’s heart stopped. He leaned against the wall. “Why? Why would you give me such power over you? You’re beautiful and smart. I clearly don’t deserve you.”
She smiled and laughed. “Oh, Oliver. Even Jesus wept.”
“But you wouldn’t let me kiss you by the waterfall.”
“Just because I love you doesn’t mean I can’t keep boundaries for myself. My heart is yours, but it doesn’t matter what contract you signed with Gregory. My body is mine.”
He frowned. He was grasping for things to cling to, to his former beliefs, anything that would keep them apart, but his reasons were falling away. “So, would you give your body to another in marriage?”
“No,” she said sadly. “But only because it wouldn’t be fair to them. I love you. Everyone deserves real love, and I couldn’t take that away from someone else if even you don’t want it.”
She left again. He was certain she was the most maddening woman he knew. But she was his, as she declared. Her heart was devoted to him and his madness. It seemed she’d made a decision and stuck with it.
He needed to do the same.
He caught up with her and picked her up. She gave a cry when her feet left the ground. He began to carry her.
“What are you doing?” she asked as she settled in his hold.
“What does it look like? Ow!”
She’d pinched him through his shirt. “Don’t be rude.”
He chuckled and looked down at her angry face. “Will you marry me?”
Her eyes widened. “Why?”
“Because you clearly can’t think for yourself. You’re naive and small. People take advantage of you. You’ll need someone like me to make sure it doesn’t happen. Ow!” She pinched him again.
“Why are you so irritating?”
“Why can’t you just give me an answer?” She should be thankful he’d asked at all. He could simply demand it.
She rolled her eyes and sighed. Her arms went around his neck. “So, we’re marrying so you can be my protector and scare all the bad men away?” Though her words were said harshly, her eyes pooled with tears.
His face softened. “I’m going to do more than that. I’m going to love you. I do love you.” His father had made a plan and stuck with it. Oliver’s just needed to be better. Like his brother, he needed to clear his mind of the doubts and focus.
He could do that. Knowing Belle was his, would always be his, he could do that.
“You’ve exposed me,” he said. “I’m selfish, but now I have this gift...” He lifted her closer. “You have given me a gift, and I must cherish that. That is what I need to do. That is what I want to do. It is what I will do. So, thank you.”
She looked away. “I don’t know, Oliver.” Then she buried her face in his shoulder and he felt her begin to shake.
The ground beneath his feet changed from dirt to grass and he crouched down and held her through her tears. “I’m not letting you go now,” he whispered. “Thank you.” He placed his head against hers.
She sniffed and lifted her head. Her eyes were red. Her voice was rough from crying. “Are you sure I’m what you want?” She seemed nervous. “Is it real this time?”
“It’s real this time,” he vowed. “I love you, but I’m scared.” He couldn’t keep that from her.
“Scared I’ll leave you?”
He shook his head. “No, and I won’t leave you either. But I’m scared that I’ll lose focus.”
She cupped his cheek. “I won’t let you. You’re no longer alone, Oliver. I’m here. Always. We’ll work together.”
Together.
He’d be able to partner himself with this strong forceful woman.
He looked into her eyes and finally relaxed. “Together.”
She nodded. “I’ll give you my decision on your request later.”
He went as still as a statue. “Your decision? But you just said...”
She crawled from his lap and stood. “Everything is happening too face. We both need time to think.”
He stood. “I’m done thinking. All I ever do is think and worry.” He took her hand. “I want this.”
She squeezed his hand back. “I want you to be sure.”
His jaw hardened.
She touched his cheek. “Stay focused. If this is what you want, show me.”
He closed his eyes. He hated that she was denying him. Yet at the same time, he was glad for it. He would show her he could make her happy and that she was all he wanted in the end.
∫ ∫ ∫
5 5
* * *
Belle woke with the sunlight in her face. Opening her eyes, she looked straight up and gasped at the foliage around her. She was inside the cave, perhaps the heart of it. Walls with vine and grass-covered edges surrounded her. A few small trees had grown on the stones, some leaning toward the top of the cave. And at the top was an opening that allowed just enough light to illuminate her surroundings.
The people around her were awake. Groups sat around fire pits. The scent of smoked meat filled the space and made Belle hungry. She counted nearly two dozen people, including a few children. It appeared she was the only one still laying down. She’d been very warm tucked in her pallet last night.
She didn’t see Oliver, but she felt eyes looking at her and searched for them. Her gaze caught that of a man she didn’t recognize. Then the man smiled and her mouth fell open.
Mark.
He was across the space on the other side of a stream that cut through the cave on one side and went out a hole on the other. Mark was different. His eyes were the same, a sleepy gentle blue, but without his usual pomade, his dark hair fell to his forehead and had a soft attractive curl at the ends. He’d matured in the fourteen years since she’d seen him last. His features were harder, like a man. Why she’d thought he’d still be a boy when she saw him, she didn’t know.
He started toward her and Belle stood.
Mark smiled. “Lady Belle.” He bowed.
But the moment he straightened, Belle hugged him and he wrapped his arms around her without hesitation.
“I’m so glad you’re alive.”
“I feel the same, about myself and you.” He pulled away and grabbed her arms. “I’ve worried about you for years. I asked Lord Venmont about you every chance I got.”
“You did?” She thought he’d forgotten her.
Mark pulled away and one of the young boys ran to him. A pretty young woman followed. Belle recognized her even as Mark introduced them. “Belle, meet my wife Lady Hannah and our son Matthew.”
“We’ve met.” Hannah hugged Belle and then pulled away. “Belle, there aren’t enough words to express how thankful I am that you sent
Mark away when you did. If you hadn’t, we’d have never found one another.” Hannah smiled up at her husband. She was the daughter of one of Gregory’s former doctors.
Gregory killed the man himself when he realized he wasn’t getting any better and then asked Oliver to kill the rest of the family in spite. Belle’s heart constricted with so much elation that she could barely speak. Tears came to her eyes. People she’d cared for were not only alive but happy. “I’m so happy for you.” She looked at Matthew, who seemed to be two or three. “Was he born here?”
Mark nodded. “We have more than a few of Gregory’s former doctors. A cook. A few maids taught us how to care for ourselves. Honestly, we’ve everything we need.”
“Including a priest,” Hannah added. “He married us a few years ago.”
“And Venmont makes certain we have everything we need,” Mark said. “We are only allowed out by the beach, but that’s fine with us. We’re alive and honestly, couldn’t be happier.”
Their lives were simple, and they couldn’t be happier.
Belle knew it was mostly the love they shared that put the smiles on their faces.
They spoke for an hour more as they ate. Mark told her about life as a nameless laborer before Oliver found him. Then he met Hannah and his life changed. She told him and Hannah about how the world had changed since Gregory’s death.
Deciding that they all would speak later, they left to attend to their duties. Everyone in the cave had duties. Belle was about to ask if someone would return her to the boys’ camp when she noticed Oliver standing by the entrance they’d come in last evening.
He stood leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. The people who walked past him smiled or bowed, even though the paid them no mind. Everyone respected him. Those who’d joined in on her conversation with the Lumbar family had nothing but kind words to say about Oliver.
A few of the younger women blushed whenever anyone said his name, and Belle couldn’t blame them. Not when he looked like this. So relaxed.
He was so handsome. She didn’t know if it was the light or the greenery in their surroundings that enhanced his already exuberant appeal, but he dominated the cave.
The Marquess Who Kissed Me: (The Valiant Love Regency Romance) (A Historical Romance Book) Page 28
