Left In Good Spirits

by Anne Pleydon

  “Won’t talking about it encourage him to do it more?”

  “We’re not that powerful.”

  “Oh.”

  Kenny returns to her office and sits heavily in her chair. She looks at Farewell’s file. Cody reminds her of Farewell in how polite but aloof he is with adults around him. She wants to read Noah’s file again and go to the notes she wrote after she found out he was put on suicide watch by a staff. She closes her eyes instead. She remembers how much she wished she had been at Merivale when it happened. Where was she that day?

  “I’m sorry about your sister. I’m sorry I wasn’t here this weekend,” Kenny told Noah on the Monday following.

  “S’aright,” he responded. His shaved head was bent.

  “Why are you on watch?”

  “It’s bullshit. I’m not gonna do anything. I was yelling at my Dad on the phone.”

  “Oh,” she replied. He had no history of depression or suicidal ideation. “I’ll take you off.”

  “Okay.”

  “I’m sorry about her though.”

  “She didn’t kill herself,” he said and he wiped the tears from his eyes. “She O.D.’d. She wouldn’t do that.”

  “I believe you,” she said. He did not answer.

  Chapter 21

  THE NEXT MORNING, Kenny walks out on to the Rotunda. She’s restless. She needs something but doesn’t know what. She pushes thoughts about Lana Clearwater from her mind again. Kenny notices that the yard is empty and that there are a number of staff chatting by School Control. She walks to the OIC’s office and waits for McDonough to finish speaking to a staff. The OIC barely gives her a glance when the staff walks away.

  “What’s happening?” Kenny asks.

  McDonough says, “There won’t be any movements. We’re on lockdown.”

  Kenny replies, “I have someone on suicide watch.”

  “Cody’s back in Unit 3. He’d have to be escorted but I don’t have the staff for it right now. All the units are getting searched.”

  “For what?”

  “A cell phone. Possibly drugs.”

  “How did someone get a cell phone in here?”

  “Who knows. Family visit. Volunteers.”

  “Fuckin’ volunteers.” Kenny looks at the ceiling.

  “We’ll find it.”

  “Cody can wait. I’m just going to use the phone,” Kenny says as McDonough leaves the office. She watches him join the staff by School Control. Kenny sits by one of the computers at the back of the OIC office. There is a union wall calendar next to her. She mentally checks to see how many days until Christmas. She knows that is when most staff take time off. She likes to know who will be around and when.

  Kenny logs on to the computer and sends Baird an email: “I know you’re on lockdown. Let me know when you can talk for 5 mins. Whenever. But re: Cody and suicide watch.”

  She receives an email back almost immediately: “I have a few minutes right now.”

  Kenny picks up the phone and dials his extension. A deep voice says, “Unit 3, Baird speaking.”

  “You know it’s me.”

  He says, “How can I help you?”

  “Are you busy doing searches?”

  “We’re done. It started here anyway.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “We’ve been on lockdown since shift change.”

  “Why?”

  “Oh, the boys left something for one of the female casuals to find in the laundry room.”

  “What?”

  “Let’s just say it involved a sock.”

  Kenny laughs. “Ew, what was in it?”

  “It doesn’t matter.”

  “How do you know it wasn’t left by accident?”

  “It wasn’t an accident. It was something they made. They left it for the reaction.”

  “For pleasuring themselves.”

  “Whatever.”

  “Aren’t they allowed to do that?”

  “As long as it’s private.”

  “Someone could get discipline for masturbating?”

  “Yes, we’re not running some barn yard show here.”

  Kenny bursts out laughing. “What if it’s in their room?”

  “Even if it’s in their room. They have to do it privately.”

  “I don’t remember seeing this in the orientation booklet.”

  “We tell the boys the expectations when they come in.”

  “Well, what are they supposed to do? They might get caught by accident.”

  “They know. They can go behind a door or use a blanket.”

  “That sounds kind of brutal.”

  “We’re not paid to be doing our jobs and come along doing room checks at night and see these guys playing with their johnsons. We don’t get paid for that.”

  “Johnsons! How old are you?”

  “Well, these guys are teenagers. You better believe that’s what they’re doing in there.”

  “Oh, I believe it. I just didn’t think you could get discipline for it.”

  “You have no idea what these kids are thinking about.”

  “Oh, I have some idea.”

  “Don’t kid yourself that they’re not thinking about you in there.”

  “Gross. And don’t kid yourself that they’re not thinking about you.”

  Baird exhales. “Whatever floats your boat.”

  “Wait, what does this have to do with a cell phone?”

  “During our investigation we found a charger.”

  “What the hell?”

  “Yeah, looks like they’ve been passing it around to different units. Charging it on the power bar for the tv cart. Through their pant leg.”

  “Is anyone saying anything?”

  “Not yet.”

  “Do you think it’s on your unit.”

  “No,” he says.

  “So, I wanted to speak to you about Cody.”

  “What about him?”

  “It looks like I won’t get access to him for a bit because he needs to be escorted.”

  “Now’s not a good time.”

  “I just want to know how he’s doing.”

  “He’s fine. He’s on 15 minute checks.”

  “Anything concerning to you?”

  “No. He’s good. I talked to him a bit this morning.”

  “Okay, I’ll see if there’s a chance to see him again this aft to take him off.”

  “Alright.”

  There is silence on the phone. Kenny says, “Okay, bye.” And Baird hangs up without saying anything. Kenny feels her face flush and she rolls her eyes. She shakes her head then flexes her hands before balling them into fists.

  McDonough walks back into the office. His shoulders appear looser. He hums a little tune.

  Kenny smiles. “You found your cell phone. But who brought it in?”

  “Oh, we’ll have these boys singing soon.”

  “Remind me never get on your bad side,” Kenny says as the OIC takes a seat. He rolls toward the middle of the office so he can see School Control through the door.

  “I guess you can’t do much today,” he says.

  Kenny shrugs. “I have lots of writing to do. I’ll come back this aft to see if I can see Cody. I want to take him off watch if I can. Staff don’t need that hanging over them, too.”

  “That’s nothing. It’s our job,” the OIC responds.

  “I wonder what they were doing with the phone. Hopefully, no pictures.”

  “None of the facility, thank goodness. Just themselves.”

  “Did they have internet?”

  “No, it’s a crappy thing.”

  “Oh, good.”

  “Making threats to the community.”

  “Idiots.”

  “Yeah, and calls to their baby drama mammas or whatever they call them.”

  “No way.”

  “Speaking of, looks like one of our fine minds, Mr. Micheli
n, might be a father. He told me the other day.”

  “He has a baby?”

  “The cycle of life, Doc.”

  Kenny says, “It used to be the girls who wanted the babies, and they still do. But now I hear the guys saying they can’t wait to have a baby. One guy pointed to his chest and told me, ‘This is where I’m putting a tattoo of my kid’s face.’ I said, ‘You have a kid?’ and he said, ‘Not yet.’”

  McDonough shakes his head. “They’re all having kids now. It’s the next generation. I think Marco Hastings has like 5 kids. They’ll be old enough to come here soon. Not before I’m retired, thank god. You couldn’t pay me to work with Marco’s kids. Fuck.”

  “You’re a bit obsessed with that dude.”

  McDonough shrugs. “All these kids work for him.”

  “I always wonder what happens to the kids here after they leave.”

  “I think Eddie Howe and his accomplice, Farewell, have kids, too.”

  “Noah Farewell’s a dad?”

  “I don’t know if it’s his kid or Eddie’s kid. I saw them once when I was down in the city. Farewell is so far up Eddie’s ass I don’t know where one ends and one begins. And those boys are involved with Hastings for sure.”

  “I can’t imagine you in the city for some reason.”

  “I’m never down there. My brother and sister-in-law were in town and they wanted to go in to do some shopping. I ran into goddamn Farewell and Eddie and some real little kid down at the corner of Heddy and Cornwall.”

  “Were you polite?”

  “We just looked at each other. I wanted Howe to just make a move. Just try it. Thank god I was waiting outside the mall for them. I don’t want him looking at my family. I want nothing to do with that kid. I wouldn’t spit on him if he was on fire.”

  “I thought Farewell was off the radar now. Doing better.”

  “I wouldn’t put money on it.” McDonough stretches and rolls back to his desk to look into an empty coffee mug.

  Chapter 22

  KENNY FIDDLES WITH HER lanyard as she walks up and down the corridor in the Mental Health Unit.

  “I can hear you sighing,” Mara says. Kenny turns on her heel and joins Mara at her desk. The young admin is already off her feet and taking her coat off the back of her chair to go for a smoke break.

  “They might let you see someone now,” Mara says, checking her pockets to see if she has her cigarettes and lighter. She pulls out two and shakes them. She puts one back in her pocket and the other in the top drawer of her desk.

  Kenny says, “I can’t believe you get in with that. Aren’t we supposed to lock everything in the lockers up front now?”

  “I’m not going to find my little key and unlock my locker every time I go have a break. Don’t you have your cell phone?”

  “Of course. Don’t you?”

  “Yes,” Mara answers.

  Kenny then pulls open Mara’s desk drawer and points to the lighter. “Can I have that?”

  “It’s empty, but yes. Why?”

  “To burn the place down, maybe?” Kenny grips the lighter in her right hand.

  “We’re bad,” Mara says, with a little smile as she heads to the door. “Where’s your student?”

  “Who cares? Just kidding. She’s not in today.”

  “Oh.”

  “I don’t even know where my locker key is. They’ll have to break the lock off for me. I’m too embarrassed to tell them.”

  “McDonough would freak.”

  “I know. Remember when that social worker, what’s her face, lost her fob like twice in a week?”

  Mara leans against the door. “Was that Stephanie?”

  “Yes, McDonough was gonna have a stroke. But more so because she didn’t tell him the second time for like a week.”

  “She was an interesting girl.”

  “That’s putting it mildly. Any time we get these non-forensic people, they’re just nuts. But, my key is just a baby one for my locker. If someone in here has it they would have to somehow make it to the locker area by Front Control. And, find my specific locker. And then, they would have access to all my deep, dark secrets. And the biggest secret would be … that I don’t use my locker.”

  “I hope you didn’t leave any food in there.”

  “I think there is a banana in there. Oh, help me, Mara, obviously I’m going stir crazy.”

  “Just call them,” Mara tells her as she goes out the door.

  Kenny sits on Mara’s desk and flicks the lighter. There is a little bit of fluid left. She looks at the flame. She dials School Control. “Can I have Cody escorted to the Rotunda?” She listens and stares at the picture on Mara’s computer desktop. It is photo of a black cat, curled up in a ball on a sofa. Its eyes are glowing. “Well, he’s on suicide watch, so.” She waits again and then says, “Excellent. Thanks, Rodney, you’re the best.”

  Kenny swings off the admin’s desk and puts the lighter in her pocket. She heads to the Rotunda. School Control is quiet with only one staff. “You see there’s only me here,” Dunny says the minute he sees her. His voice is stern. He is not really looking at her. What is that? she wonders and then dismisses it.

  “I know but I have to see Cody. It’s policy.”

  “I don’t have anyone to escort.”

  “Rodney just told me you could escort.”

  “Well, I don’t know where he is.”

  Kenny sees Rodney emerging from the OIC office. “I’m getting him,” Rodney calls and disappears down the Unit wing.

  “So, guess what?” Dunny says. Kenny is taken aback as this staff hasn’t addressed her directly for weeks or possibly months.

  “What?” she responds, fingering the lighter in her pocket.

  “I was certain you wanted to know about a young man who is coming back to our fine institution.”

  Kenny frowns. She can tell he’s going to go off about Garrett. Wolcott and Dunny used to be absolutely merciless about that kid.

  “That’s okay,” she responds.

  “Yes, a certain patient of yours. I was sure you wanted to know.” Kenny turns from the desk and starts to head to the interview room as soon as she hears the mocking tone in the staff’s voice.

  Kenny is startled when Dunny comes from behind the desk and follows her into the interview room. Kenny feels the space is too small and she wants to laugh but merely feels tears in her eyes and hotness in her face. Dunny says, as he shifts his weight from one leg to another, “Now, don’t tell me, what’s his name?”

  “I already know,” Kenny says. It feels like her heart is jumping out of her throat. “Just not now okay?”

  “Are you sure? Are you sure you know who it is? Now, I don’t think you know who it is.”

  Kenny’s voice is grim and not steady, “Can you just stop being you right now? Just stop.”

  Dunny looks uncomfortable for only a split second and then leaves the room. Kenny is immediately awash with regret. Shit. She admonishes herself for her momentary lack of control. The silence between the interview room and School Control feels like a deepening gulf. She leaves her paperwork in the office and returns to the Rotunda. Dunny has already been joined by Wolcott. Kenny braces herself as she does not want anything to do with these staff. But it feels like damage has been done.

  Kenny says to Dunny, “I’m sorry about that. I’ve just had a really bad time with kids coming back.” Dunny busies himself with a radio and battery pack and does not acknowledge her. Wolcott looks at Kenny blankly and then back at his partner. He is trying to read the situation but will not interfere.

  At that moment, Rodney comes into the Rotunda escorting Cody. Kenny smiles. “Thanks, I know you’re short.”

  Rodney shrugs. “It’s not a problem.”

  Kenny sees that Cody looks well-rested and also a bit restless. The youth scans the Rotunda for information. He is all eyes and ears. He joins Kenny and they retreat to the interview room.

 
; “You’re kind of lucky to get out,” she says.

  “What do you mean? Oh, the lockdown.”

  “Yeah, and I’m only seeing you because of the suicide watch.”