by J. L. Beck
The pleasure at the base of my spine builds with every deep thrust inside her tight channel, and I know I should be selfish, come without caring about if she gets pleasure from this or not, but I can’t. I want to feel Harper come on my cock too badly. I want her to feel what she has been missing, what she could have had a long time ago.
Balancing my weight on one arm, I snake a hand between us and find her clit. It’s hard, and as soon as I start rubbing small circles against it, Harper’s whimpers turn into soft moans.
“I shouldn’t let you come, you don’t deserve it,” I whisper against her skin as I press a gentle kiss to her collarbone. “But I won’t deny you, because as selfish as I am, I still want you to feel the same way I’m feeling right now.”
Fucking her harder and faster, I move my finger against her clit at the same pace until we’re both panting and on the verge of unyielding satisfaction.
“You feel too good… I’m going to come…” I grunt, slamming into her. Pulling away so I can see her face, I notice that she too is close. Her eyes are pinched together, and her lips are parted. I grit my teeth and rub her faster, watching with amazement as her eyes flutter open and her mouth forms into a full O. All at once, she bears down on me, squeezing me so tightly, stars appear before my eyes.
At the cusp of her orgasm, mine barrels into me, dragging me down. Forcing me to still, I fill her tightness with every drop of cum inside of my balls until I feel nothing but emptiness.
Sagging against her chest with relief when it’s all over, my heart beats furiously. I swallow thickly, trying to figure out what my next move is going to be.
The need to hold her and cuddle up with her in my bed is almost too much. But I can’t get attached to her, can’t want her any more than I do.
She broke me once, ruined our precious future. This is entirely her fault, and I need to remember that before the guilt sets in.
Pushing off of her, I notice that she winces as I pull out. Maybe she hasn’t been with a guy as big as me? I don’t know. I don’t really care.
“You’re free to leave now until I need your pussy again.” I shoo her away.
She blinks. Confusion, then burning anger filling her eyes. “If this is how you are going to act, then there won’t be a next time.” In a flash, she’s off the bed, tugging all her clothes back on.
“We’ll see about that,” I grin, lying back on the mattress, I interlace my fingers and tuck them behind my head.
Her pretty eyes glisten with tears, and seeing her so distraught, so hurt, tugs at me.
“I hate you, Warren. I really, really do. I thought if I did this, I could understand you better, but as it turns out, there isn’t anything worth understanding. There isn’t a bone in your body that still cares about me…”
And just like that, she walks out, slamming the door shut behind her. It takes every shred of willpower I have to remain on the bed and not chase after her.
Remember, she did this to us. She chose someone else. She lied. She betrayed you. Like a sponge, I soak up every word, repeating them to myself over and over again until the need to go to her disappears.
The image of the bill from the abortion clinic is ingrained in my mind. It’s a never-ending nightmare, one that my heart refuses to let me forget. I can still feel the paper in my hand.
I’m staring at the medical bill, confused and angry. Harper’s name is written on the top of the paper, and right there in the center is the word abortion. I’ve read the thing three times, but the words still don’t quite make sense.
“I wanted you to know, son,” my father’s voice fills my ears, but I can’t hear him. All I can see is the betrayal right in front of me. I want to ask him why he would show me this, but I already know why. He’s hated Harper since the moment I showed interest in her, and this is just another thing to drive his point home.
I’ve defended her for years, to the ends of the Earth, but I can’t justify this.
She wanted to wait…
She wanted to wait…
All so she could go fuck someone else, and get pregnant with his bastard baby? Bitter rage fills my veins. I want to go to her, shake her to death, but instead, I crumple the paper in my hands, my fists clenching with rage.
I need her gone, need her to leave before I do something drastic. I can’t believe I trusted her, believed her. That I fucking waited for her.
“I’m sorry, Warren,” my father interrupts my thoughts.
“It’s fine. I expected this… And since I’m here, I wanted to tell you that I saw her mother stealing food from the pantry.” It isn’t a lie. I had seen her taking food from the pantry, but never cared to tell my father about it. Everyone needed to eat. That was before though. Before she took my heart and shattered it. Before she made me believe in her love. Before she betrayed me.
Father shakes his head, “Of course, she would be stealing. I’ll take care of this. I’ll get rid of her and her whoring daughter.”
The memory fades, but the pain remains.
Her betrayal is something I doubt I’ll ever forget. It feels like I’ve lost a loved one, and in a way, I guess I did. The girl I loved became nothing...in the blink of an eye.
12
Harper
Last night, I went home and straight to bed. If I had my way, I would still be curled up in that bed right now, but I can’t miss my classes, which is why I’m dragging myself to the coffee shop for some much-needed caffeine before heading to chemistry.
I slept terribly and not just because of what happened yesterday. It was the thought of someone breaking into my place again, that had me worried to close my eyes.
I keep telling myself that it was just some druggy looking for dope or money and that it won’t happen again, but that, of course, is a steaming load of crap. Anyone can break in again at any time. The doors on these apartments are a joke. I’m pretty sure I could kick them in. And if someone comes into my place, I’m completely screwed since my self-defense skills are non-existent.
When Warren first told me to stay at his house, I thought it was stupid, but now I wish I was still there with him… safe.
Ha, safe. I’m not safe with him or at my house, but being with him at night is the lesser of two evils. I might sorta hate Warren, but I know he wouldn’t hurt me like someone else might.
A familiar feeling washes over me at the thought of him, and right away, I know what it is. Dread. It’s the same one I felt when Warren left me kneeling in that bathroom. All over again, I’ve become the used and discarded girl I told myself I wouldn’t become again.
How could I be so stupid? Giving my virginity to him was supposed to be a good thing, but all it’s done is make me feel crummy.
Placing my order with the barista, I walk to the waiting area. My phone starts to ring, and I don’t want to look at it. I swear to god if it’s Warren, I’m going to toss the thing in the nearest trash can. When I see Valerie’s name flash across the screen instead, I’m relieved, but still, I second guess answering it. Every time I talk to her, she treats me like shit. I don’t need that right now. I really, really don’t.
She’s family, and regardless of how I’m feeling, blood is blood. Pressing the green answer key, I bring the phone to my ear, “What’s up?”
“Oh, my god, you’re alive. I thought you were dead. I tried calling you the other day, and it went to voicemail.”
Yeah, ’cause I was trying to escape. “Yeah, sorry, I couldn’t find my charger.”
“Oh, well, how are you? Are you okay? Did Warren say anything to you?”
“Huh? What do you mean? I talked to Warren yesterday. What was he supposed to say?”
“I… I don’t know. I saw him the other day at the gas station. I thought you guys were friends.” She stumbles over her words, nervously. Maybe she’s on something? It wouldn’t be the first time.
“No, no, we aren’t friends, and I’m doing fine, thanks for asking.”
“I’m sorry about the party… how I acted.
I don’t know why I get like that sometimes.”
Because you’re selfish, and you care about being friends with rich kids more than being mine.
“It’s fine. Look, I gotta go. I have to get to classes, but I’ll talk to you later, okay?”
“Okay, talk later,” she tells me and hangs up. The barista calls my name, and I step up to get my drink. I grab the iced latte and give the barista a smile. Walking out of the little coffee shop, I suck the sugary goodness from the straw.
The first taste leaves me feeling a little better than I was a second ago, and I smile. I start walking to my next class, a little more pep in my step than before.
Heading down Kingdom Hall, I open one of the double doors, about to walk through it when I all but stop dead in my tracks. My heart slams into my throat, the air in my lungs ceasing to exist, and I damn near drop my iced latte in the process.
Warren. I hate him. I hate him so much, but I also want him. Want him in ways that I shouldn’t because he’s a horrible, cruel monster. Forcing myself to make my legs work, I keep walking, taking quick steps. As much as I tell myself not to look, it’s not that easy, and even harder when I spot the incredible looking woman hanging off his arm. She could be a model.
She looks nothing like me, and maybe that’s the point. I tell myself it’s nothing but a game, but that stupid jealously bug rears its ugly head anyway, and I’m left wanting to bite the chick’s head off velociraptor style.
Getting closer, I notice another couple is standing with him, I was too consumed with Warren’s presence before, but now I see that it’s Parker and his girlfriend, Willow. I’ve never actually talked to either, but I’ve heard Warren talking about them.
Willow stares at me, I can feel her eyes burning into my skin as I walk past them. When our eyes clash, she smiles at me. I don’t know how to feel about that, so I skew my facial features. Parker has his arm wrapped around her and gives me a brooding look before leaning in and whispering something into Warren’s ear.
I don’t stick around to see what happens next, and instead, haul ass into the chemistry room. As soon as I enter the room, I find the nearest seat and sink down into it. My lungs burn, and it feels like I wasn’t breathing the entire time I walked down that hall.
You’re nothing to him. Nothing… I don’t know why, but I had stupidly hoped that the way I left his house that day might’ve knocked some sense into him. After a few minutes, I calm down enough to get my books out. My thoughts are still racing, right along with my heart, but at least I can breathe again.
It’s funny how even after everything he’s done to me, this jealousy hurts more than anything else. I’d rather have him threaten me, use my body, and humiliate me than go through seeing him with someone else.
The class drags on forever, or at least it feels that way. When it’s finally over, I don’t think anything we’ve talked about has stuck in my brain. As I’m packing up my stuff, the professor announces that we have a test next week, and since I couldn’t comprehend a single thing today, I know I have a lot of studying to do if I want to ace it.
Since I don’t feel like going home to be all alone, going to the library seems like a win-win. The walk to the library takes all of five minutes, and I’m thankful that I don’t run into Warren and his flavor of the day on my way.
That would be my luck.
The librarian greets me with a wide smile as I pass the circular desk. I try to give her a similar greeting, but the corners of my mouth just don’t want to curl up. I think I’m stuck with a permanent frown now.
Finding some extra reading material, I browse through the shelves, trying to forget anybody that starts with the letter W. When I find three books, I sit down at one of the tables, all the way in the corner. The area is secluded, and it makes me feel like I’m in my own little reading fort.
This is another plus of attending this school. The library is pristine in every way. The chair I’m sitting in right now is so comfortable, I bet it cost more than the entire contents of my apartment. No, I don’t think, I know.
Opening the first book, I take a deep calming breath. The smell of the paper actually helps my nerves. Running my fingers along the pages, I calm further. I spend the next few hours with my nose between those pages. Studying enough for the next three tests.
By the time I’m done, the library is closing up, and it’s already getting dark outside. I quietly curse under my breath, I shouldn’t have stayed this long. Walking through my neighborhood after dark is not the best idea, the break-in is a stark reminder of that. But what choice do I have now? Call Warren and ask him to take me in? Ha… not in a million years. I’d rather get mugged.
I check out the books and stuff them all into my backpack. Slinging the heavy bag over my shoulder, I walk outside. Cold wind penetrates my clothes, making me shiver deeply as I start walking toward my place. I’m not even off the campus when I get this eerie feeling that someone is watching me. Turning, I look over my shoulder a few times but don’t see anyone.
Making my feet move even faster, my slow walk becomes a slow jog, but I don’t make it far before a large figure steps in front of me, cutting me off. It takes a second for my eyes to adjust, but when they do, all I can do is shake my head.
James. The creep from the party.
“Well, hello there,” he greets, the tone of his voice is like nails on a chalkboard to my ears. If he’s trying to be seductive, it’s not working.
“Hi,” I say, only trying to be polite and attempt to move past him. He steps sideways to block my way, shaking his head at me.
“Not so fast.” He puts his arm out.
“What do you want?” I grip onto my backpack strap a little harder. As it turns out, it’s not just the people in my neighborhood I have to worry about. It’s here too.
“I heard what you’ve been telling people about me. That was a mistake, bitch,” he growls, taking a step toward me. “Maybe I should show you how big my dick is? Maybe take some pictures while I fill your mouth with it?”
I know a bad situation when I see one, so before he’s even done talking, I spin around and start running. I only make it about three steps before he slams into my back, knocking me to the ground. My kneecaps hit the ground so hard, I’m pretty sure I’ve shattered the bone. Pain shoots through my body like lightning, making me cry out.
On my hands and knees, I try to crawl away from him in a last effort to get away. But his meaty fingers are digging into my arms, pulling me backward. This is a nightmare, a complete nightmare.
Looking around, I hope that someone might see us, anyone, but I wouldn’t get that lucky. No one is going to save me. James is going to hurt me, and no one will even know.
“Hey, where do you think you’re going? I’m not done with you, not by a long shot.” He pulls me back to my feet and starts dragging me behind him. “I’m going to show you what I would have done to you if you were in your apartment than night I came to visit.”
My mind is too busy, too panic stricken to make sense of what he is saying right now. All I can think of is fighting him. I don’t know where he’s taking me. I’m frantically trying to get away from him. Screaming and trying to pull away, doing anything I can to succeed in getting away.
My thoughts get hazy. Then, as if he knows I’m going to draw attention to us eventually, he starts yelling at me to shut up and slaps a hand over my mouth. I do everything I can, bite him, scratch him, and kick him, but he is too strong. He easily overpowers me and continues to drag me to wherever the hell it is he wants to go.
With his arms wrapped so tightly around me, it’s hard to breathe, and black spots appear in my vision. No. I gasp. For a moment, I think I’m going to pass out, my limbs grow heavy, and my vision blurs.
Then it happens. One second, I’m in James’ clutches, about to get raped or worse, and the next, his arms disappear, and my whole body sags to the ground. I fall, landing with a hard thud, but at least I’m not going anywhere with him anymore. My lungs expa
nd, and I suck air in like I haven’t been able to breathe for years.
Gentle hands move over my arms and end up engulfing my shaking hands.
“Are you okay?” A girl’s voice reaches my ears. With my vision still blurred, I glance at her face. It’s hard to make out her features, but I find kind eyes looking at me with nothing but concern. It only takes me a moment to realize that I’ve seen her before. She’s the girl who was standing with Parker earlier.
“I- I think I’m okay,” I say. Even my voice is shaky, and I hate it. I hate being scared and weak and I hate that she’s seen me like this.
“You’ll be okay. He won’t hurt you anymore.” She assures me.
Only then do I hear grunts and fists meeting skin in the background. Turning my head against the grass, I see Parker and…Warren, hovering over James. Warren hits him over and over again, and I wonder if Parker is going to stop him.
“He is out, dude, come on,” Parker puts his hand on Warren’s shoulder, but he just shrugs him off and continues beating James’ face relentlessly.
“Warren, stop,” Willow calls out for him. “Harper needs to see a doctor.”
That gets him to finally stop. Shoving off the grass, he gets up, leaving James’ lifeless body on the ground.
Oh, god, did he… kill him? Just as the question enters my mind, James groans and moves around on the floor, but he seems too out of it to get up. Good.
“What’s wrong with her?” Warren asks bitterly, and walks over to us, his eyes scanning my body from head to toe.
“Her knees and hands look really bad,” Willow explains, making me look down at myself. My jeans are ripped, and my knees are bleeding, and so are my palms. I must have scratched them open pretty good on the rough asphalt.
“She doesn’t need a doctor. I’ll bring her back to my place and clean her up.”
“Are you sure about that?” Parker interjects. “You’re not right in the head at the moment. I don’t know if this is a good idea.”
