by J. L. Beck
“Everything okay?” Easton asks as I situate my stuff.
“No, everything is not okay,” I growl. I don’t understand him. We never discussed what we are or if we are exclusive. Which doesn’t even matter because all I did was say hi. I can’t wave at someone like Easton, who I share a class with? What am I supposed to do? Look the other way when he enters the room?
“Warren’s a tough cookie sometimes. When I first met him, I thought he was a douchebag. He fucked girls like it was a competitive sport, then you came into his world, and everything changed.”
“Great, he fucked every girl in this school, but I can’t wave at you.” I snort. “Whatever, it doesn’t matter. We’re just mad at each other and need some space.” Easton nods like he understands, but I doubt he knows a damn thing about relationships. Walking away, he takes his own seat, and the professor starts discussing the reading material from over the weekend.
I’m knee-deep in notes, absorbing every single thing the professor says when the door to the room opens, and a woman pops her head inside. The professor stops speaking and walks over to greet her. They exchange a short conversation before the woman steps completely into the room. Confused, I set my pen down and wait for something to happen.
“Is there a Harper Martin in this class?” the woman asks.
I swallow thickly and raise my hand like a small child. At the movement, her eyes clash with mine.
“Hello, Miss Martin, I need you to please come with me.” I nod and stand on shaky legs, shoving my stuff into my bag. A knot of worry tightens in my gut. Did something happen to my parents? I don’t know who this woman is or why she’s asking me to leave, but something tells me it’s not good. Tossing my backpack over my shoulder, I walk down the aisle, listening to all the whispers as I walk by.
When I reach the woman, I look over my shoulder at Easton, who’s looking at me with the same expression I’m wearing. Confusion. The lady opens the door and ushers me out into the hall, following closely behind me.
“Is everything okay?” I ask.
“We will talk about it once we reach the admissions building.” Even though I have a thousand and one questions, I keep my lips closed and follow her to the building. What could possibly be going on?
When we finally reach her office, I take a seat in the chair in front of her long wooden desk. A metal plaque is sitting on the smooth surface, reading Mrs. Jensen, financial aid. Only then does it occur to me that this may have to do with my scholarship.
Taking the seat opposite me, she crosses her hands in front of her and looks me straight in the eyes, disappointment reflecting back at me.
“Do you have any idea why I have called you into my office?”
I shake my head because I’m smart enough not to question until I have all the answers.
She nods her head, “Blackthorn was recently made aware by a concerned patron that you’re not living in the dorms but are receiving payments for housing through the school. If you don’t live on campus and are receiving payments specifically for that expense, you are committing fraud.”
My mouth pops open and closes and then opens again. This is worse than I thought, so much worse.
“Effective immediately, you will no longer receive housing payment, and furthermore, we need you to repay that money as soon as possible. If you fail to repay the money, we will be forced to pull your scholarship.”
Shock, rage, dread, and sadness all engulf me at once. Through the fog of emotions surrounding me, one name pops into my head. Warren. He did this. He threatened me time and time again, and now he finally did it, and all over what? Me waving at Easton?
“I don’t have that kind of money. I’m using the money to rent a cheaper place off-campus and the rest of the money to pay for food and books. Surely, there is something that we can do to fix this?” I reply desperately, pinning Mrs. Jensen with a pleading stare.
Apparently, she’s not impressed by my admission, either that or she simply doesn’t care.
“The way to fix this would’ve been to have been staying in the dorms all along. I’ve already discussed this with the other school board members, and they’ve decided that you can either pay the payments back, or you can forfeit your scholarship. Might I add, that you’re lucky to be given a chance out of this and that the school is not pressing charges for fraud.”
Tears sting my eyes… he got what he wanted. He got rid of me. I was so stupid to think that Warren and I were moving past whatever it was that was eating him.
“I’m sorry, I don’t know how to pay back the money, and I don’t know how to live on campus. I would have no money for books or food or anything else for that matter.”
“Look, the only thing I can do for you is set up a payment plan for the housing money you owe. It’s only for one semester. It’s not that much.”
Not to you, maybe. Unsure what to tell her, I just stare at my hands in my lap.
“I’ll tell you what,” she continues, “how about I give you until tomorrow to figure it out?”
“Okay,” I agree, knowing damn well that there is nothing to figure out. I pretty much just lost my scholarship. Lost everything I worked hard for. “Thanks,” I mumble, before getting up and heading out of her office.
As soon as I’m out the door, the tears start to fall. With blurry vision, I start walking away from the building and off the campus. There’s no reason for me to go back to class. No reason for me to study or think about tests and homework. The only two things I need to worry about now is where the hell I’m going to live and how the hell I’m going to pay for it.
Everything I worked for is gone… gone.
“What do you mean they want the money back? Who cares where you live?” Valerie asks.
“Because if I’d lived on the campus, I guess the money ends up back in their pockets somehow,” I shrug. “Either way, it doesn’t matter. I broke the rules, and now I have to deal with it. Are you sure I can stay here for a while?”
“Yes, I’m sure. As long as you want,” she reassures me. I couldn’t bring myself to go to my parents’ place. I don’t want to face them yet. Face the disappointment that I know they will have when they hear I fucked up, and I definitely won’t go back to Warren. Which left me with Valerie as the only other place I could go. It might not be the best choice in the long run, but it’s the best for me right now.
“Thanks, Val. I mean it.”
“It’s okay. I owe you anyway. For all the times I’ve been a major bitch to you.”
“I’m not going to argue with that.”
“I know, and I’m sorry. Maybe this can be our new beginning? You and me, roommates. It doesn’t sound that bad.”
“Yeah, not too bad. So, are you still working at the diner?”
“Sure do, got a raise too, and tips are great.”
“Maybe I could start working there? So I can help out with rent and stuff?” I’m going to have to get used to a minimum wage job, so why not start at a diner? I’m sure the pay won’t be that great starting out, but I can get tips which should cover it.
“Ah, well… I-I don’t think they need anyone right now,” she tells me, suddenly sounding nervous, her eyes darting around the room. “We’re pretty well staffed. Should be like that for a while too. You could definitely look for a job elsewhere though.”
“Oh, okay…” I guess she doesn’t want me to work with her. Or maybe she thinks I won’t be able to do the job well? Whatever it is, if Val won’t help me find a job, I can do it on my own.
“I have to get to work. Working the graveyard shift, but you’re free to stay for as long as you would like.” I give her a tight-lipped smile and take a seat on the couch. I guess I’ll sleep here for the night, and just take it day by day.
“Thanks again, Val. I might not be here in the morning. Going to try and start job hunting early.” Valerie nods as she reaches the door. She looks a little more dolled up than I would expect a waitress to be, but if it gets her good money, then I get it
. You have to do what you have to do. As soon as she’s gone and I’m left alone with my thoughts, I look around the small apartment and am reminded of how much it looks like mine did.
I have nothing now. No scholarship, no home, nothing, and all because I believed that things were different between Warren and me now. Fishing my phone out of my pocket, I power the thing down before he can call me. I don’t have it in me to fight with him right now.
Nothing he says can fix this. He threatened me, warned me, and I basically gave him the ammunition he needed earlier today.
Stupid me. Stupid heart. I should’ve used my brain. The tears start to come then, and there isn’t any way to stop them.
I gave my heart to Warren again, but this time he didn’t just break it, he destroyed my life. He took everything from me.
17
Warren
I kicked myself in the ass the entire time Harper was in class. I never should’ve spoken to her like that. Like a territorial asshole. I know she’s mine, and she knows she’s mine, and yet, I had to go and make a stupid comment.
Leaning against a tree outside the science lab, I wait for Harper to be done with her class. An apology already sitting on the tip of my tongue. Students start to filter out of the building. But Harper isn’t one of them. The moment I see Easton walk out, his eyes meet mine, and I know something is wrong.
Pushing away from the tree, I meet him halfway. “What’s wrong? Where is Harper?”
Easton shakes his head, “One of the financial aid people came and got her out of class. She never came back. I figured she would have called you by now.”
Worry bubbles within my gut. “Shit. How do you know it was financial aid? Who was it?”
“Brian told me who she was,” Easton shrugs. “I don’t know her name, but she had brown hair, glasses and was wearing a gray suit.”
Spinning around on my heels, I sprint away before Easton has even finished speaking. The jog, well, more like run, to the admin building seems to take forever, and when I arrive, I ask for financial aid at the front desk. A middle-aged woman points me in the right direction with a questioning brow. There are three offices for financial aid, but only one is a woman, so I decide that it has to be her.
I knock but don’t wait for her to say anything. Pushing the door open, I walk into the office at the same time.
“Excuse you,” she half yells while pushing up from her desk. The woman looks exactly like Easton described her, so I don’t ask her anything but the most important question.
“Why did you pull Harper Martin out of class?” I take another step and stop right in front of her desk, pinning her with a dark stare.
“And you are? Legally, I can’t give you answers to questions like that.”
“I’m her boyfriend,” I answer without thinking. It sounds weird saying those words again, but I don’t have time to dwell on the thought.
“If that’s so, then you know where she lives?”
“With me.”
“And, are you aware of the fact that Miss Martin is receiving money to live on-campus?”
Fuck, so they found out.
“So what? Who cares? And how do you even know about this?” Since I have her talking, I might as well keep getting whatever information I can out of her.
“It doesn’t matter who made us aware of it, what matters is that it happened and needed to be addressed immediately.” I don’t know if she mentioned a who on purpose, but either way, I know someone ratted her out, and I have a good idea about who it might be. I’ll deal with him later though, because right now I have to fix this. Fix this big-ass mess for Harper.
“What do you mean addressed? What’s going to happen? Did she lose her scholarship?”
“Not yet, but she will if she doesn’t pay back the money, and she won’t be receiving any further payments for housing. So even if she does manage to pay the school back, she’s going to need to find a place to live.”
Without a second thought, I pull out my wallet and grab my credit card, throwing it down onto the shiny wooden desk between us.
“Here, I’ll pay for it.”
“Okay,” the lady chirps, taking my card without question. I guess they don’t care where the money comes from as long as it’s paid. She runs the card, and I sign the receipt and put my card back in my wallet before heading out. I don’t even think about how much money I spent, or what is happening between us. Right now, the only thing of importance to me is ensuring that Harper can continue her education.
In the beginning, I wanted her gone, but now… I just… I need her close, need to know she’s okay.
Pulling the office door shut behind me, I tug my phone out of my pocket right away. Dialing Harper’s number, I hold the phone to my ear just to be met by the sound of her voicemail. Fuck. Squeezing the phone so tightly, I fear the device might crumble under the pressure of my grip.
She turned her fucking phone off… again.
Acid burns up my throat and panic grips me. Even as angry as I am, the worry of her leaving is worse. Where the hell did she go? What is she thinking? Fuck, I know exactly what she is thinking. She blames me. She thinks I did this, just like I threatened I would.
On my way to my car, I call Valerie’s phone just to get her voicemail too. I don’t think she is there anyway. There is only one place I can think of to go, and that’s her parents’ house. I find the address she gave me before and put it in my GPS. Ten minutes later, I’m on my way, hoping that it’s not too late.
How could I fuck this up? I should have already paid the stupid housing money. I should have told her that I wanted her to stay, that I would never tell the university about this. But my stupid head got in the way. I wanted to have something to hold against her, and all because I was scared that she would leave me if I didn’t.
I only get about halfway to Harper’s parents’ house before my phone starts to ring. I grab it from the passenger seat, surprised to see Valerie’s name light up the screen.
Answering, I say, “Hello.”
“Did you rat out Harper to the school?” Valerie’s accusing voice comes through the line. Caught off-guard but totally expecting it, I tell her the truth.
“No, I fucking didn’t. Do you know where she is?”
“Yes…” She pauses, and I wait for the but to come, “She’s at my place. I told her she can stay with me, but I kinda don’t want her to stay. You know, with my job and all. It won’t take her long to figure out I don’t work at a diner.”
Valerie is still talking while I make a U-turn at the next road.
“Send me your address, and I’ll be there in thirty minutes.” I punch the gas and squeeze the steering wheel in my hand.
“Fine, I’m on my way to work now. Can you maybe not tell her that I called you? I don’t want her to be mad at me.”
“Yeah, yeah… I get it, you don’t want her to know what kind of person you really are.”
“It’s not like that, Warren,” Valerie huffs.
“Send me the address. I won’t tell her your secret; you can do that.” Hanging up the phone, I start back in the direction of Blackthorn. After a few minutes, a text comes through with the address, and I punch it into the GPS on my phone.
The entire way back to Harper, I contemplate what I’m going to say and how I’m going to say it. I can’t imagine what she is thinking right now. How upset she is, how shitty she thinks of me. Anger surges through me, and I hit the steering wheel with my hand, needing to lash out at something.
As the miles dwindle down, a nervous knot forms in my gut, and by the time I pull into the apartment complex, I’m a wreck. I park the car and look up at the building. It’s similar to the one Harper lived in before, which only enrages me more. I told her she would never stay in a place like this again, and I meant it.
Getting out of the SUV, I walk across the parking lot, and up the front steps. There is no buzzer at the front door, so I go right in. I have to climb two flights of stairs and follow the long
hallway toward Valerie’s apartment number.
When I reach it, I let out a harsh breath and try to get my anger and breathing under control. I’m so fucking angry that someone did this to her. Yes, I had threatened to do it, but that was before everything happened.
Making a fist, I beat it against the wooden door.
Nothing.
I repeat the action, a little harder this time.
“Open the door, Harper. I know you’re in there.”
A second later, I can hear footsteps coming toward the door. “Go away, Warren. I hate you, and I never want to see you again.”
“Too bad. Open the fucking door, or I’ll kick it in.” I don’t bother hiding my irritation. All I need is to have her in my arms, to tell her what happened, that I didn’t do it. That will ease the anger, the madness threatening to overtake me.
“No,” she replies, and I scrub a frustrated hand down my face. I doubt anyone would bat an eye if I started to kick in this door. Again, the neighborhood is shit, and the door is flimsy enough that it wouldn’t take much effort.
“Harper,” I warn. “I’m going to kick in the fucking door, and then Valerie’s going to be pissed. Open it or make me go through it. Either way, I’m going to get my hands on you.”
A second later, I hear the lock disengaging, and the door opens up a sliver, Harper’s sleepy face fills the small space.
“Please, go away. You’ve already ruined everything, taken everything from me. What more could you want? Did you come here to embarrass me further? To break my heart all over again?” She sounds as defeated as I feel, and all I want to do is wrap her up in my arms, but I doubt she would let me touch her right now, not without lashing out like a feral cat at me.
“Let me in,” I order, and take a step forward.
“No,” she shakes her head.
“Okay,” I shrug, and then rush forward, shoving the door open. She stumbles back and almost falls on her ass, but I grab her arm in time to steady her. She tries to shrug me off, but I don’t let her. Never letting go, I close the door behind me.
