Instead, I changed the subject to something else I’d been meaning to ask her about. “When you volunteered to go with Raith, did you really believe you could have love with him?” I couldn’t hide the naked curiosity in my voice.
“I…I hoped. Isn’t that all we can ever do?” She worked another rune as she spoke, this time a shimmering heart formed of frosted flakes of snow.
“Yes, I suppose so.” But I sighed. “I just can’t see myself finding love with any of these suitors Dahlia has sent.”
“If it helps, I don’t think Raith expected to find love, either.”
“But you harbored something… Your ‘hope.’” I didn’t even have that.
“Yes.” Rose nodded. “And there was certainly curiosity. And attraction, perhaps.” She blushed a little, and my lips pulled into a small smile.
That blush-inducing attraction was missing from any of my interactions so far with the seven suitors. Many of them were handsome, but that wasn’t enough. “I’m not sure I can imagine—”
But my next words were interrupted by the sitting room door being thrown open. It rebounded from the stone wall behind it as Iris barreled inside.
“There you both are!” she cried. “I half-feared you’d left me here to rot in all of this dullness and disrepair. What are you doing in this room, anyway?” She flopped down and watched us expectantly, while she picked at the fraying threads of one of cushions on the sofa.
“I was…” I hesitated. Telling Iris I was practicing magic was tantamount to admitting that I was breaking the laws of Talador.
“I was showing Iris some basic runes she can use as protection, should she ever be in a dangerous position again.” Rose’s voice was calm and measured. In that tone, practicing runes sounded nothing but sensible.
Iris nodded, her eyes wide. “Show me?”
Rose drew a perfectly crafted rune in the air. “This is the basic form,” she said. “But my finger is only proving a focus for my mind’s will.”
I admired her patience as she explained the same principles to Iris that she’d just explained to me.
“Your mind’s will?” Iris stood and went to Rose’s side, watching every movement she made, and I smiled at the intensity of Iris’s gaze.
“Yes. My intent—simply put I just have to want the result badly enough.” Rose didn’t flourish the basic rune this time but left a perfectly crafted spinning slowly in the air.
Iris reached out to touch it, but it crumbled the moment her fingers brushed against it. “Can I try?”
Rose looked to me, and I shrugged.
“It can’t do any harm,” I said. Left to her own devices, Iris would become exactly like Rose—half wild and determined to learn on her own, so it made sense for Rose to guide her if she could.
Iris bit her lip, her concentration and focus evident to anyone watching, and raised her finger, drawing a silver shape painstakingly in the air. When she’d finished, a basic snowflake remained, and she whooped with glee.
Rose patted her shoulder. “Fantastic, Iris. Did you know your magic had emerged?”
Iris shook her head, uncharacteristically speechless as she learned forward to examine her creation. My stomach fluttered again as I fought against pleasure and worry over this new development. I had enough to fret about without the emergence of Iris’s abilities too.
Nineteen
Keane
I stood in the kitchen, glaring at a barrel of fresh apples, each of them an example of glossy red perfection. “And where did these come from?”
A young kitchen maid bobbed an awkward courtesy in front of me, a sheen of sweat on her forehead from the enormous fire that blazed away constantly at the end of the room. “If you please, captain, they’re from the apple tree in the yard.”
“Throw them out.” I issued the command tersely then immediately regretted it when she cowered away from me. Making an effort to soften my tone, I continued. “That is, we can’t guarantee the safety of any of the apples already in the kitchen, so please dispose of them immediately.”
She nodded. “Yes, sir.”
I turned to the guards standing by the door as they approached to pick up the barrel. “Have the maid show you where to put these. Nothing should eat them.”
The cook responsible for trying to poison Lily had already been identified, but I couldn’t take the risk that she’d left other poisoned food for use by the others. The bitter herb she’d used had created residue all over her working area and tools, and the entire kitchen staff was cleaning intensively to eradicate all trace of the poison. They seemed to understand the grave danger of word getting out that a visiting dignitary from Andaria had been poisoned while in the company of our future queen. No one here wanted to be the reason for a new war with another kingdom.
Satisfied everything was in hand, I left two guards to supervise and walked back to the main rooms of the castle to inform Lily of the progress I’d made. Despite the decaying grandeur of the summer palace and the ever-present mirrors, I quite liked it. It had a little of an underdog sense about it, as if it could quickly reclaim its former glory if only the right person championed it. While Grimelda was well meaning, I wasn’t sure she was the right person. However, now that Lily had visited, I suspected things would change for the better.
“Captain Keane?” The call of one of my guard’s caught my attention as Caspar’s hurried footsteps hit the stone floor with increasing tempo. He handed me two letters, both sealed with wax. “These have arrived from Winton Castle.”
One was addressed to Lily, and appeared to be in Violet’s handwriting, which made sense. Camellia was probably out in the gardens ensuring my men maintained their training regimes, leaving Jasmine and Violet to any letter writing duties. The other was addressed to me.
“Thank you.” I dismissed the guard back to his post before I ripped open the wax seal on my letter and skimmed the contents. I didn’t even finish before I took off, running up the stairs to the small living room where I’d left Lily and Rose.
When I arrived, the door stood open, but only Lily remained inside. I dismissed the guard in the corridor and entered the room. Lily was standing by the fire, staring into it with her hand raised oddly, as if drawing a rune in the air.
Lily spun around with a frown. “Is everything all right, Keane?”
There was no good way to answer that. I held out her letter. “This arrived from Winton Castle just now.”
She tore impatiently through the wax seal. “It’s Violet’s handwriting.”
I watched her eyes moving as she read the contents. “I got a letter, too.” I kept my voice gentle. “It had news about Malren.”
Lily finished reading and her gaze met mine. “He’s escaped!”
“But your sisters are all well.” Frustration filtered through me at the way Malren had slipped through our fingers, and my pride pricked at the idea the man had been able to escape from our most secure jail cell.
She looked at her letter again. “It says here he used ‘magical means.’”
I grimaced. “It would seem so. That either means he’s more powerful than we suspected, or he has the help of someone very powerful indeed.”
Lily tapped her fingers against her lips. “Malren doesn’t have any magic. He must be getting help from someone else. Someone like Queen Riala perhaps.”
“None of my men have found any evidence she has returned. All we have is Lord Malren’s word, which isn’t worth much.”
“I’m worried about my sisters.” Her words were raw and genuine.
“I know.” The desire to be in both places divided me. “But they have the best protection where they are. My men are there, and don’t forget Dahlia and Garon. I’m sure Garon is already investigating this and utilizing his entire spy network to do so.”
“Malren escaped at the same time Lord Vasso was poisoned by a dish destined for my mouth. Do you believe this is a coincidence?” Her last word shook a little, and I stepped forward my arm out, ready to supp
ort her should she need it.
“I don’t believe it’s a coincidence, no.” I almost whispered the words, caught between wanting to protect her and the need to be honest. “The attacks against you are going to continue.”
Her eyes grew darker, but she blinked, appearing to push any fear away, and she stood straighter. “I see, Then I do need to prepare. And practice harder.”
“Your magic could be invaluable.” I needed to support her learning if it could save her life.
“What do we do?” She reached toward me, her hand landing on my forearm, and the touch sent electricity skittering up my arm and through my body.
In that moment, I saw only Lily, the woman I loved, and I wrapped my other arm around her waist, drawing her closer. “I’ll always protect you.”
“I know you will. I trust you above any other man in all the six kingdoms.”
Her words made my chest swell, as my gaze landed on her perfect ruby red lips. She parted them on slight inhale, a gasp of awareness, and my control was lost. My mouth pressed against hers, savoring her soft skin and the way she responded to me, allowing my lips to claim hers as mine.
As the kiss ended, my thoughts cleared, and I stepped back, the movement abrupt. I’d ignored all of the boundaries imposed by my position and my self-control, and horror trickled through me, replacing the satisfaction of Lily in my arms, her warm body pressed against mine.
She could have me arrested for treason. I was guilty of that momentary loss of control and so much more. But Sun and Moon, how I wanted her.
Lily stumbled in my direction a little, but I held her up, supporting her to maintain her distance. “What…”
“We can’t do that again,” I interrupted as I glanced past her and swallowed.
“But…why?” Her confusion continued, and she bit her lip before her tongue flickered out quickly, like she was tasting her lips.
I resisted the urge to do the same. My resolve teetered on a knife-edge, but before it could falter, I interrupted her a second time. “That was a mistake. The future Queen of Talador doesn’t kiss her Captain of the Guard.”
Her eyes narrowed in response. “I believe you were the one who kissed me. Though I did not stop you.”
“You have seven suitors here to choose from,” I reminded her, even though my chest constricted, and I had to force the words out. “They are your choices for a royal marriage.”
Hurt flashed across her features, quickly replaced by a regal expression Lily rarely used with me. It hurt me to see that level of disconnect, especially as she had just been soft and pliant in my arms, like she could love me back if I let her. But I was fooling myself. To imagine Lily would ever feel for me the way I felt for her would only result in further pain.
“If I hear further news from Winton Castle, I’ll let you know.” I added a smart salute at the end of my sentence, further cementing the difference in our positions, and left the room before she could answer me. I didn’t even want to hear her voice in case it made me change my mind and caused me to rush back to her. Luckily, the clatter of my boots on the stone steps as I made my wild escape drowned out the frantic beat of my heart and anything she might have said.
Yet nothing could make me forget the feel of her lips on mine. I’d cherish that memory for the rest of my life, even as she wedded and bedded another man. My throat tightened at the thought. We would never be together, and I had to remember that.
Twenty
Lily
As night fell, Danzin sat opposite me at the small table in a corner of the Gilbrook Castle garden. A fire blazed merrily in a pit nearby, keeping the worst of the chill away, and candlelight twinkled all around us. Grimelda had really outdone herself with the atmosphere of romance tonight. But I was growing very tired of this ridiculous seven-suitor courtship, and had decided it was time to begin its end.
The small flame of a candle flickered between us, and I resisted the temptation to blow it out. I didn’t harbor romantic feelings for either of the two men who’d made my shortlist—there by virtue of being the least bad of the choices. I planned to share one more evening with each of them before I made my decision as to who would be my husband.
Regret trickled between the strands of my irritation at this farce. These men, all seven of them, didn’t deserve this either. Being paraded in front of me, a woman who didn’t love them—who couldn’t possibly ever love one of them—was surely not what they wanted in life. After all, I was taking their potential happiness from them. One of them would never find the person who would truly love them if I trapped him here with me.
But melancholy wasn’t the point of this evening. I shook my head to banish it and refocused on Lord Danzin just as he asked me a question and looked at me with interest, waiting for my answer.
“I’m sorry,” I asked. “Could you repeat that?”
“I asked if you’d like to accompany on a walk into the forest tomorrow. I should see if I can replace some of the herb I use to make that tincture I administered to Lord Vasso…” He paused, his expression momentarily startled. “I mean, not that I’m anticipating needing to remedy more than one poisoning, but…” He stopped talking altogether and nudged his glasses back up his nose, his cheeks a little pink.
“I understand,” I said. “It’s difficult to think of much but the welfare of Lord Vasso right now, isn’t it?” A momentary pang of guilt echoed through me at using Vasso to explain away my own distraction. “And, of course, it goes without saying that we are all very grateful to you for your quick thinking and your ability to provide such a quick remedy. The medic was very impressed when he arrived.”
Keane had told me the medic reported that he would have been far too late to do anything at all for Vasso, and that Danzin’s quick thinking had saved his life. And just like that, my thoughts were on Keane again.
I hadn’t meant to think of him at all, but he plagued my thoughts. Memories of the kiss wouldn’t leave me alone. The softness of his lips. The strength in his arms as he held me. The simultaneous feel of desperation versus restraint, like Keane had wanted more, but wouldn’t allow himself to try.
His harsh rejection had come without warning, and it hurt even as I acknowledged it was probably for the best. After all, how could I, nearly a queen, be with the Captain of my Guard?
Keane wasn’t an option for me. For the sake of my kingdom, I needed a sensible match and a political alliance—even if it was to someone I could only tolerate rather than love. At least tolerance would be a step further than anything Father seemed to have felt for some of his wives.
Dahlia had reminded me this was my duty when she’d spoken of my having a strong husband by my side, and I always did my duty for Talador. It was what I had been born and bred to do.
I made myself focus on Danzin while we ate, as he told me more about some of the rare herbs in Rodor. I certainly couldn’t fault his enthusiasm, but his endless passion for plants would certainly wear thin over time. That said, if a husband had an interest beside being king, perhaps that would leave me with additional freedom to rule as I saw fit, regardless of the man at my side. I held back a sigh as the royal side of me saw the potential in the business-like transaction of my marriage.
Danzin insisted on sampling everything on my plate, just in case it had been poisoned, which was equal parts thoughtful and irritating. I couldn’t think of a tactful way to tell him that last part, so I smiled benignly and allowed him to think he was saving my life.
At the end of the meal, after endless talk of the growing habits of certain weeds, I was unwilling to linger any longer when the conversation wasn’t becoming any more interesting. It seemed that Danzin and I weren’t at all a match ordained by the Sun and Moon.
“Lord Danzin, thank you so much for your company this evening.” I stood, and my movement prompted him to stand too. “But as the Moon rises, the air grows colder, and I think the time is right to retire for the evening.”
“Of course.” He took his glasses off and held the
m loosely in his hand, a movement I’d never seen him make. “You’re right. It’s only proper that we end the evening now.”
He approached me in two quick strides before standing far too close and looking down at me. Then he cupped my cheek with his hand and leaned forward, his mouth hovering above mine. As he moved in for the kiss, I stepped back quickly, desperate to be anywhere else.
He fumbled his glasses back into place, his cheeks red in the glow of strings of lights. “I must apologize…”
“No need, Lord Danzin.” I interrupted him, my thoughts scrambled over avoiding an unwanted kiss. “The hour grows late, and I should exercise caution when outside for any length of time.”
I hurried away, leaving the embarrassed man I had just clumsily rejected standing in the remains of our romantic evening. So much for my diplomacy training.
I scurried down a path overgrown with weeds and brambles snaking out to tangle themselves in my hair, and I pulled the hood of my cloak over my head in an effort to ward them off.
Marching footsteps followed me, but I didn’t bother to look at my guard. He wasn’t Keane, and I felt Keane’s absence like a physical pain. I’d never hated my role as much as I did in this moment, trapped by my title, confined by Talador and expected to behave a certain way for the good of my people. Unable to be with the man I wanted.
I turned the corner of the path into an area out of sight of anyone but my guard. A flurry of emotion burst from me, and I drew fast and furious runes until snowflakes hung in the air above me, obscuring me from view, hiding me the way I needed to hide my feelings this evening. Only when I was finished did I realize I drew them in my mind, not with my hand.
“Princess Lily?” The guard’s voice behind me sounded alarmed, and I sighed.
“Yes, I’m here and quite safe.” No matter how much I obscured myself, I’d never be able to disappear.
Kiss Of Snow (Royal Hearts Book 2) Page 10
