He moved to the side of the bed to unfasten his trousers. As he pushed them down his thighs, I watched as more of his body was revealed, biting my lip as his hard length sprang free. I reached out, the urge to touch it unexpected. My fingers grazed soft skin, and Keane closed his eyes like I’d hurt him.
I withdrew my hand. “Sorry.”
His eyes popped open. “Don’t apologize.”
“I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“You didn’t hurt me.” He took my hand and placed it back on him. “See?”
Excitement and anticipation raced through me as he lay back down next to me. His bare skin pressed against mine, fulfilling fantasies I’d had in the darkest hours of night, ones I’d never dared breathe to anyone. Could this truly be happening?
“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, as he smoothed his hand down my body before he palmed the join of my thighs.
I reached for him, parting my legs a little as I did. He dipped a finger lazily toward my center, touching me as no one ever had, and I gasped at the new sensations he conjured in me. He stroked my wet folds, ending in an exquisite buzz of nerve endings at the front of my body, and I began to move against him as I anticipated that last touch. His tongue swept against my lips as his mouth captured mine in a kiss, and I opened my mouth eagerly for him. My head swam with so much heat as desire burned fresh trails through my body.
Keane continued stoking his fire as I grew closer to an eruption or an explosion—I wasn’t sure what I was chasing, but my body knew all the moves as I pressed closer to his fingers. Then he slipped one of those fingers inside me, filling the yearning emptiness, and I released my breath on a sigh. That was what I’d needed. I rocked against him faster as tension wove through all of my muscles, tightening them until I thought there was nowhere left to go.
I sucked in a breath and held it as a feeling of ecstasy rushed over me, gathering strength then leaving me breathless, my heart thundering, my limbs weak.
Keane held me close as I recovered, and then asked, “Are you ready for me?”
I nodded my head at Keane’s gentle question, although my heartbeat picked up a little. He lay over me, his body probing against mine, and I bit my lip.
“I might get it wrong,” I whispered, and Keane let out a short laugh before pressing kisses to my face.
“You couldn’t.” He probed a little harder and my body stretched around the tip of him, surprising me.
He stopped, his breathing rapid. “Is that all right?”
I nodded, and shifted, finding a more comfortable position, and Keane groaned as he slid further inside me at my movement.
“I’m trying to take it slow so you can get used to the feeling,” he said, and tension crinkled at the corners of his eyes as he held himself back.
“Keane…” I hooked a leg over his hip and he slid again, pushing into me, and I gasped.
His eyes widened. “Did I hurt you?”
“No. Don’t stop.”
He withdrew gently then pushed back in, drawing another gasp from me as I stretched to accommodate him. I hadn’t imagined… I’d never thought that to be joined with another would…
He exhaled as he pushed in again, and I watched the emotions play across his face—relief was there, which made me smile, but also happiness and disbelief.
“Keep going,” I whispered, because maybe that expression on Keane’s face was the best I’d ever created.
As his movements became faster and more urgent, I rocked against him, our skin warm, each of us heating the other. He stroked the inside of me again, and the familiar feeling of my muscles tightening approached.
I murmured his name and he kissed my mouth, his tongue adopting the same rhythm of the hard length of him until I was without thought. Passion and desire ran rampant through me until all my muscles gave way to spasm, convulsing around Keane. He groaned and shuddered against me before he stilled and pressed his forehead to mine.
With one last gentle rock against my sensitive body, he rolled to my side and cradled me against him, drawing the blanket over both of us.
I looked up, staring into his beautiful blue eyes. He was the man I wanted. The only man I wanted.
Twenty-Five
Keane
Thin fingers of dawn light crept around the drapes at the window. Lily lay curled against me, her head using my upper arm as a pillow as I caressed the soft skin of her back. Too many emotions ran unchecked through me as I viewed her bedroom from an unfamiliar and unexpected position. Also, an unprofessional one.
Her breathing changed as she strayed from her deep sleep and stretched, her hand brushing against my cheek. Her eyes popped open and she stared at me for a moment, her lips parted.
“Hello,” she murmured. “How pleasantly odd to have you here beside me.”
“I should be outside the door, not inside your bed,” I said, my voice quiet as regret filled my chest for compromising my position.
Lily moved until she was looking down at me, her face imperious and regal, even though she’d just woken up. “You should be wherever I say you should be. And right now, you should definitely be in my bed.”
She stroked a hand down my chest and my skin prickled at her touch, but I caught her fingers in mine, holding her still.
“I’ve crossed a line I can’t uncross.” Making that admission hurt me. I’d held myself apart from Lily so that I could do my job, so that I could make my father proud, so that she could marry someone befitting of her position, and I’d ruined it all.
I’d selfishly taken her as mine, to have and to love, and I’d ruined her. I sat up, the high-quality sheets rustling as I shifted them to one side and ensured they still covered Lily in some pretense of protecting her modesty that I couldn’t explain or justify—not when I’d already seen and explored her body as if I had a right to it.
I couldn’t even look at her as she sat up behind me and rested a hand on my shoulder. “Keane, what is it?”
Threads of panic turned me cold, and I stood and reached for my clothes. “I have to step down from my position.” I pulled my trousers on, the fabric stiff and cold. Then I shoved my feet into my boots. “I can’t continue as your Captain of the Guards. Not when I’ve…I’ve disgraced you like this. Especially after I failed to protect you last night due to my own selfish jealousy over your suitors.”
Without hesitation, she shook her head, and anger flashed in her eyes. “I don’t agree to this. In fact, I quite forbid it.”
“Please, Lily. We must move quickly to ensure no one discovers us. If anyone finds out what we did, it would ruin any chances of a diplomatic marriage to one of these men.” I pushed my arms into the sleeves of my shirt. “I nominate Simeon in my stead. He’s my second in command and has guarded you before, so he’s familiar with your routines.” I nodded as if the deal was done. At least I’d found a reasonable solution.
“I said no.” Lily’s eyes flashed again, the blue now as pale like ice. “I refuse to accept what you’re saying—any of it. And I certainly don’t want another guard. I don’t trust anyone but you.”
My throat dried at her misplaced confidence in me, and I swallowed around the lump there. “But look what I’ve done. You have seven men here, seven worthy suitors and…” I couldn’t finish. I couldn’t voice my own shame.
Lily stood, the sheets wrapped about her as if she were some sort of ancient queen in traditional dress, and stepped closer to me. I swayed toward her, everything about her drawing me in, and I curled my hands into fists to avoid touching her again. But I knew how soft her skin was, and I knew how warm and receptive her body was. Even her scent called to me.
“I don’t want any of those suitors Dahlia found.” She reached as if to touch me, but I stepped away, pain winding through my chest. “I only want you.”
“We both know that isn’t possible.”
“Why not?” she asked.
“It wouldn’t be good for Talador, and no one would accept me as your husband. We both know
that. But I cannot be your guard anymore either.” I shrugged my jacket on, bringing myself back to business, back to my role. It was my best disguise and my best hope to make it through this. “I’ve allowed my feelings to get in the way of my duties. I’ve endangered your life. Trusting me is dangerous.”
“You endanger me? I very much refute that. No one has my welfare more in focus than you do. I’ve never felt in danger when you’re near.” She paced a little, her sheet swishing back and forth over the wooden floor.
“That’s just it. I wasn’t near you.” I turned my attention to the fire dying down in the fireplace, poking it back to life so Lily didn’t become cold, but she grabbed my shoulder. I stood and looked her in the eye. “Lily, I chose not to be near you last night. I didn’t guard you at your dinner because I couldn’t bear to watch you with another man.” I closed my eyes briefly. Everything could have happened so differently. I’d nearly lost her by allowing my feelings to supersede my duty. “And while I wasn’t there, while I was nursing my hurt feelings”—I spat the words, disgusted by my own behavior—“you were attacked and nearly taken by Malren.” I shook my head. “I nearly lost you. The entire kingdom nearly lost you because I can’t separate my job from my feelings. That’s why I must step down.”
“Last night wasn’t your fault.” She reached for my hand, but I stepped back and avoided her touch.
“I should have been there.” My words were simple. I’d failed in my duty, and Lily couldn’t argue her way around that, no matter how hard she tried. I bent over in a formal half-bow. “It is with the greatest of regret, Your Majesty, that I tender my resignation as your Captain of the Guard, effective immediately.”
I didn’t look at her again as I spun and marched from the room. I didn’t want to see the pain in her face. I didn’t want her to see the matching pain on mine.
Twenty-Six
Lily
After the door clicked softly closed behind Keane, I strained to hear his footsteps marching away down the corridor. He’d send another guard shortly to replace him outside my door, regardless of what I’d said. He was wrong in thinking he’d let me down—no man had a greater investment in my personal safety than Keane. Of that much, I was sure.
My heart both swelled with affection for him and his ridiculous attachment to his duty at the same time it crumbled with his loss. After last night, I’d been certain that the only man I could spend my life with was Keane. It seemed so obvious, and I thought he felt the same way too. His rejection stung, even if I understood why he’d done it.
He’d removed himself as an option for my future husband, which left me with only the seven suitors. One of them would have to be my king, and I’d have to choose the least bad option. Which was unfair, because none of those men was inherently bad. I just couldn’t imagine loving any of them.
Maybe Keane was right. I had seven suitors, and it was my duty was to marry one of the lords Dahlia had selected so we could rule Talador together. I’d always been the dutiful daughter, the perfect heir to the throne. That mattered more now than ever, if Queen Riala was going to try to usurp me and declare herself the true monarch. Everything in me screamed out against being with anyone other than Keane, but no matter how much I hated it, it was the way things had to be.
Once I was ready, I glanced out of the window. The sun was still rising in a pale gray sky, but I had no doubt Iris would already be awake and puttering around her room or reading a book. Perhaps seeing my sister would make me feel better about the start to my morning.
I hurried down the corridor toward her room and nodded to Caspar, the guard posted outside her door, leaving my new guard with him.
“Come in,” Iris sang out, happy and—as expected—wide awake. “Lily! You’re up early today.”
“Keane just resigned,” I blurted.
Iris stopped what she was doing, her hand hovering above the plant she was watering. “Why would he do that?”
“What are you doing?”
“Practicing my magic.” She shrugged. “But what do you mean, Keane resigned? Keane can’t resign. He’s your Captain. Who’s going to keep you safe?”
My shoulders slumped and I walked toward her bed before flopping onto it, the very picture of melodrama. “Keane said he’d instate another guard, Simeon, in his place.”
“What? But why?” Iris’s mouth hung open and she came to perch on the bed beside me.
“Because I love Keane and he loves me, and he knows I have to marry one of the suitors to make my rule over Talador strong.” I rushed the words out and didn’t look at her until I finished.
When I finally turned to her, her nose was scrunched up as she cast a critical gaze over me. "Well, that’s stupid.”
I laughed at her quick assessment. “Perhaps so, but it’s the truth.”
She rolled her eyes. “You’re going to be Queen. You can do what you want. Are there rules that say you can’t marry Keane?” But she didn’t wait for me to answer. “If there are, who cares? Make new rules. Better rules.
“If only life were so simple, Iris. I’m not even sure Keane actually wants to be with me. Being King is a lot to ask of someone not born into that life.”
Iris opened her mouth to reply but her door opened wide, and we both turned toward it.
Grimelda hesitated at the threshold, her eyes wide. “Oh, Princess Lily. I didn’t expect to find you with Princess Iris so bright and early.”
“She’s only in here because K—” Iris started.
“Because I needed to check how Iris is today after witnessing the attack Lord Malren launched,” I interrupted.
Iris shot me a skeptical glance, but I gave her a slight shake of my head. Keane was my secret for now.
Grimelda nodded. “I’ve brought Princess Iris her breakfast. I know she likes to be up before anyone else, and she’s a growing girl, so I assumed she must be hungry.”
I glanced at Iris, a little side-eye from one sister to another. “But I thought you ate breakfast with me every morning.”
Her cheeks pinked. “This is a pre-breakfast snack.”
“I’ll just leave this on your desk.” Grimelda put down a tray of food, and I glanced at it.
Everything looked beautiful. Someone had cut fruit into tiny delicate pieces, a small sprig of fresh flowers decorated the tray, and toast had been shaped into hearts and stars.
“What a lovely…pre-breakfast snack. Thank you, Grimelda.” I smiled at her, and she gave me a tight smile in return as she shuffled backward from the room.
After she closed the door behind her, I turned to Iris, who already had a strawberry ready to pop into her mouth. “Do you seriously eat this much breakfast every day?”
She shrugged and swallowed the mouthful of strawberry. “Grimelda brings me the food. What else am I supposed to do with it?”
“True,” I conceded, but I didn’t tell Iris the other thing she could do with it was throw it out of the window to join my soup on the courtyard floor. Grimelda certainly did love feeding us.
Iris grabbed a piece of toast as she lounged about. “Grimelda’s kind of annoying though. She’s always around. Every time I turn around, she’s there. Sometimes I think she watches me.”
Suspicion snapped through me, and I fought to keep my face neutral, looking down as I smoothed my hand over Iris’s quilt. “I’m sure she’s just lonely. She’s been at Gilbrook Castle for a long time and she hasn’t had many people to interact with, or cook for. She’s probably just impressed at how you’ve grown since you last saw her.”
“Probably.” Iris shrugged and grabbed more fruit. An apple, this time.
Like the one that almost poisoned me.
I knocked it from her hand without thinking, and she let out a shout of protest. “Sorry,” I said. “There was a bug on it. Perhaps you should avoid all the apples today.”
“Yuck,” Iris said, as she shoved them off her plate.
As I watched her, dread stole through my body, my mind making connections I ne
ver wanted to make. I’d been attacked several times, each time by a wizard skilled in illusion magic. Queen Riala had vanished from Talador eleven years ago, and no one had seen her even since. She needed to be close by for her illusions to work, and she had access to my food, or she wouldn’t have been able to attempt to poison me.
My heart beat faster as I tried to calm my breathing. Grimelda had been at Gilbrook Castle for years…but what if she hadn’t? The level of disrepair certainly suggested no one had been here at all. I gazed around, taking in the detail with fresh eyes. The worn fabrics, the dust in the air, and the ever-present silver mirrors in every room. The place looked run down, but I’d just put it down to Grimelda’s age. I probably might have still believed that if not for Iris’s confession. But now I realized Grimelda was taking care of Iris the way a mother might.
My breath lodged in my throat. Could she be Queen Riala?
Twenty-Seven
Lily
I left Iris to enjoy her pre-breakfast and said I’d join her for a proper one later in the small dining room. My new guard trailed me back to my room, and I tried not to care he wasn’t Keane. I only had time and emotional space to deal with one crisis at a time.
Leaving him outside with instructions not to allow anyone in, I slipped through the door and pressed it closed behind me. Grimelda had that nasty habit of entering rooms without knocking, and I couldn’t afford for her to interrupt me with a plate of unwelcome food.
I walked straight to my bed and reached underneath it, right in the back shadows for Mother’s spellbook. There had to be something in there that could help me. Something to make me invisible or just make it so Grimelda couldn’t see me.
I flipped through the pages carefully. They were fragile and musty smelling. Every so often I stopped and traced unfamiliar runes with my finger. Some of them were beautiful and almost called to me to try them out. But that was for later.
Kiss Of Snow (Royal Hearts Book 2) Page 13
