by Keeland, Vi
I sprang forward in my seat. “No, I’m not.”
She laughed. “Anyway, I just called to say thank you for doing that. It was very sweet. I don’t want to take up too much of your time.”
“You’re always a welcome break.”
“You working late tonight?”
“Yeah. You and Skye watching your show and talking about me?”
“Believe it or not, not everything is about you.”
“I definitely don’t believe that.”
She chuckled. “I’ll see you tomorrow night?”
“Can’t wait.”
“Me too.”
An hour later, Blake Dickson appeared at my office door. I was on the phone with a client, but that didn’t stop him from coming on inside and taking a seat while I finished my call.
I forced a cheery smile when I hung up. “What’s up, boss?”
He picked up a crystal paperweight of the Earth I kept on my desk and tossed it up and down like it was a stress ball. I gritted my teeth—it had been a gift from Bud when I graduated law school, and was the only personal item to be found anywhere in my office.
“I need a favor.”
I need one too. Get the fuck out of my office.
“Sure, what’s up?”
“I have dinner tomorrow night with Todd Aster. You helped squash an inquiry the feds made about some of his investments a few years back.”
“Yeah, I remember him.”
“Well, he’s going through a messy divorce, and apparently his wife has some documents related to that investment that could be damaging.”
“Statute of limitations still open?”
Blake nodded. “Unfortunately.”
“Okay...how can I help?”
“Fill in for me at dinner tomorrow.”
Shit. “I, uh, have plans.”
Blake sat up a little taller. “So do I. And I’m counting on you to handle this for me.”
Of course I couldn’t say no. So I nodded. “No problem. I’ll rearrange my schedule.”
Dickson got up and headed to the door without so much as a thank you. He turned back at the last minute.
“The vote’s coming up soon. I’ll be honest, I was pretty much team Mills when the candidates for partner were announced. But you’ve proven to be someone I can rely on, someone I can trust to have my back.”
The irony wasn’t lost on me, though I put on a solid fake smile. “Of course. Happy to help out.”
“I’ll have my admin send you the details.”
After he left, I slumped in my chair. I didn’t want to go to a damn dinner; I wanted to spend the evening with Autumn. Her two-nights-a-week rule was already killing me. Going down to one wasn’t an option.
When the email from Dickson’s assistant came in, I asked if we could possibly move the seven o’clock dinner to six.
The rest of the day got away from me, and it was almost eight before I checked my email and found a response confirming she’d been able to switch the time. Hopefully Autumn wouldn’t mind getting together a little later. I knew her friend was over for their Bachelor marathon tonight, so I didn’t want to call and interrupt. Instead, I shot off a text.
Donovan: Would you mind if we had a late dinner tomorrow night? Something came up at work, and I have to go to a dinner meeting with a client at six. I can probably be done by eight or eight thirty.
Autumn responded right away.
Autumn: Boy, I’m going to start to get a complex. First, Skye cancels on me, now you’re changing our date… Just kidding. Sure, that’s fine.
Donovan: Did Skye really cancel on you?
Autumn: Yeah. She thinks she has the flu.
Donovan: Sorry to hear that. I know you were looking forward to it.
Autumn: We’re down to the last five episodes, and I can’t watch TV or go on social media because I don’t want to accidentally find out who won! I told her if she tests positive for the flu, I’m watching without her because I need to go online.
I chuckled. I could never understand how so many smart women loved that dumb show.
Donovan: Spoiler alert. He picks the one no one likes.
Autumn: OMG! Are you kidding me? He picks Meghan?
Shit.
Donovan: I was joking. I have no idea how it ends. Or how it begins, for that matter. Though most of that shit ends the same way—whatever is best for ratings.
Autumn: You almost gave me a heart attack. Meghan sucks!
I laughed to myself.
Donovan: I’ll text you when I’m on my way tomorrow.
Autumn: OK. Have a good night.
***
The hearing I had the next afternoon wound up taking two minutes because opposing counsel showed up and asked for a last-minute continuance. Since I was meeting Dickson’s client at a restaurant closer to my house than the office, I figured I’d work the rest of the afternoon from home. I had prep work to do for a trial coming up, and home had fewer distractions anyway.
As I walked in, my cell phone rang.
I smiled and swiped to answer. “Hey, beautiful.”
“Is that a downgrade from gorgeous? I think I was gorgeous yesterday.”
“Definitely not.”
“I was just thinking—you asked if we could have a later dinner because you have to meet a client for dinner, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Why would we go out to dinner if you’ve already eaten?”
I shrugged. “You have to eat. Plus, I want to see you.”
“I want to see you, too. But we could just hang out here. I’ll eat before you come. Skip dessert with your client, and I’ll make you the best ice cream sundae you’ve ever had.”
I smiled. “If you’re sure you don’t mind, that sounds great. Want me to pick up some ice cream on the way over?”
“No need. I have all the supplies from my canceled plans with Skye last night, including fresh, chocolate-dipped waffle cones. They’ll go bad before she’s able to come over. She tested positive for the flu.”
“Sorry to hear that.”
“Thanks. I’m going to drop off some soup for her on my way home from work. But I gotta run. I’m about to go into the subway.”
“Alright. Be careful. I’ll see you later.”
I changed out of my work clothes, grabbed my laptop, and settled in on my couch. My office maintained a portal online where I could sign in and download the depositions I needed to re-read. But as I clicked to the web, an ad popped up for the new ABC streaming app. It advertised some of their hit shows available, including The Bachelor. I smiled, thinking of Autumn, and clicked to close it. But instead of hitting the X, I must’ve hit the icon to make it larger because a preview of a bunch of women getting out of limousines popped up, and some doofus handed them each a rose. I went to click off a second time, but then a girl stepped out of a stretch limo wearing a belly dancer’s costume.
Hmpf. Maybe I’ll watch a few minutes before I dig into my work…
CHAPTER 28
* * *
Autumn
“Hey.”
Donovan grinned at me from the other side of the door, and butterflies started to dance in my stomach. God, he’s delicious. Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to invite him to hang out at my apartment tonight. He noticed my slight hesitation, though he must’ve misread what was going on in my head.
He lifted a duffle bag I hadn’t noticed in his hand. “It’s not an overnight bag, I swear. I just threw in a change of clothes so I could get out of this suit I had to wear to dinner.”
I stepped aside to let him in, and he stopped in front of me, toe to toe.
“I was appreciating the view, not worrying you might overstay your welcome.”
The right side of his mouth twitched to a cocky grin. “Oh yeah? Well, you can watch me change if you want the full view.” He leaned down and planted a kiss on my lips. With our mouths still attached, he spoke softly, “I’ve missed you.”
Three little words and the wa
lls around my heart were already crumbling. It wasn’t because they were sweet—though of course they were—but because I knew he meant it. As a woman who hadn’t trusted a man in a very long time, I felt in my bones that he was being honest. And that made me unsettled when it should’ve made me the exact opposite. So rather than be honest and tell him I’d missed him, too, my sense of self-preservation kicked in, and I backed away from the moment with sarcasm.
“What’s your name again?”
He tapped my nose with his finger. “Smartass.”
I shut the door with a smile.
“Sorry I’m so late. The client wouldn’t shut the hell up.”
“It’s fine.” I pointed to my toes and wiggled them. “They needed to be painted anyway. Skye and I usually do it when she comes over for our binge-watching sessions.”
“How’s she feeling?”
“Achy with a slight fever. When I went over to drop the soup, her boyfriend was there, and she was letting him take care of her. That’s how I know she isn’t feeling well. She doesn’t let people do things for her. She’s very independent.”
Donovan tilted his head. “Sounds familiar.”
I smiled. “I guess so. I’m sure it has to do with our trust issues.”
He nodded. “I get it. Growing up, I never got too close to anyone. If you don’t let people in, it doesn’t hurt when they take off.”
I frowned. “I’m sorry. That’s exactly what I did to you last year, too. We had a connection, and I took off.”
“It’s fine. You had your reasons.”
I’d never really considered how it might not be so easy for Donovan to trust me because of what I’d done. “It’s really not fine. I should’ve at least been upfront about what I was doing and said goodbye.”
“That’s behind us now.”
“But how is it behind you? You’ve let me in when you keep distance from most people. And I already took off on you once. You make it seem so easy to get over your fear of people you care about taking off.”
Donovan stared at me for a moment. “It’s not easy, Autumn. But you’re worth the chance.”
That might’ve been the single most beautiful thing anyone had ever said to me. “Wow.” I shook my head. “I don’t even know what to say.”
He looked away and then back to me with a boyish grin. “You don’t have to say anything. Just don’t take off without talking to me again.”
I closed the distance between us and wrapped my arms around his neck. “I can do that.”
He pulled me flush against him. “Good. Because I know where you live this time, and I’d track your ass down.”
“Hopefully that won’t be necessary.” I laughed. “So did you save room for dessert?”
Donovan’s eyes dropped down between us. From this vantage point, he was looking straight down my shirt. “Always room for dessert.”
He wiggled his eyebrows, and I laughed.
“So do you prefer toasted coconut chocolate chip, cookies and cream, or chocolate peanut butter?”
“Yes.”
“Good choice. I like a taste of each, too. Why don’t you go get changed and relax, and I’ll make us bowls?”
Donovan disappeared into the bathroom and came back out moments later in jeans and a T-shirt. He tossed his duffle on the side of the couch and settled in.
“I was looking through movies before you got here, but I wasn’t sure what kind you liked, so I saved a bunch to my favorites on Netflix, if you want to take a look.”
“Actually, I have something in mind I thought you’d enjoy watching,” he said. “I’ll cue it up.”
“Oh…okay.” I whipped up two bowls of ice cream with chocolate syrup, whipped cream, and crunchies and headed over to the couch. His bowl was twice as full as mine. “This one is yours. I went a little overboard. I hope you like all the junk I put on.”
“There’s not much I don’t eat—except ketchup. My mother didn’t cook much, but when I was about seven or eight, she had this asshole boyfriend of hers move in with us for a while. He used to make us eggs for breakfast and put ketchup all over them. I told him I didn’t like ketchup on mine, and after that he put twice as much on my plate. Haven’t eaten the stuff since the day he moved out.”
“Good to know. I was thinking about adding some ketchup to our sundaes, too.”
He chuckled.
I tucked my feet under me on the couch and pulled a blanket over my lap before shoveling a spoonful of ice cream into my mouth. “So what are we watching?”
Donovan grabbed the remote and pressed a button. The TV illuminated with a half-dozen episodes of The Bachelor.
“Awww. You’re very sweet, but we don’t have to watch that. I know you’re not a fan.”
“How am I going to find out if Kayla’s dad really hits Brad during the hometown visit or not, if I don’t watch the next episode?”
My eyes flared. “You watched The Bachelor?”
“You said you were going to watch the last five episodes if Skye had the flu.” He shrugged. “Figured I had some catching up to do. I got out of court early today, so I binge-watched up to where you left off.”
My insides melted. “I can’t believe you did that.”
He swallowed a mouthful of ice cream and pointed his spoon at me. “If you mention it to Bud, I’ll deny it.”
I pretended to zip my mouth shut over my smile. “Your secret’s safe with me.”
After I finished my dessert, I snuggled next to Donovan on the couch and covered us both with a blanket. At one point, he took a break from his ice cream and rested his hand on my thigh. It felt like it could burn an imprint into my bare skin. I did my best to ignore it. Halfway through the first episode, my cell phone rang. It was on the end table next to Donovan, so he handed it to me. Dad flashed on the screen.
I sighed. “He’s been relentless the last few days. His wedding is next weekend, and I still haven’t given him an answer. My therapist thinks I should go.”
Donovan pushed a button on the TV to pause the show. “But you don’t want to?”
I shook my head and silenced my phone. “I don’t know. We used to be so close, especially right after my mom died. I don’t have much family other than him. My mom was an only child, and both her parents passed away when I was little. But…it’s hard for me to forget how he handled things six years ago.”
Donovan’s eyes roamed my face. “You mentioned he wasn’t supportive after, but did he not stand by you when things went down?”
“He insisted I get into therapy, and he did anything I asked. But he was kind of distant during the entire thing. At the police station, when I finally decided to come forward and report what had happened, I cried the whole time, and the policewoman comforted me. My father just kind of sat there, almost detached. And I couldn’t understand how he could stay partners with Braden’s father after everything he’d heard me say.”
“What did he say when you told him that?”
I frowned. “I didn’t—not at first, anyway. I let all of my anger toward him build for a long time. About a year after everything happened, my therapist convinced me to talk to him. Unfortunately, I did that after having a little too much to drink one night, and the talk didn’t go as it probably should’ve. I was very emotional and said some horrible things, and then I refused to talk to him once I’d sobered up—not very mature, I know.”
“A person who went through what you did handles it however they need to handle it. It sounds to me like you shouldn’t even have had to have that discussion, or deal with any of it.”
“When I refused to listen to him, he went to talk to my therapist. She wouldn’t discuss anything with him, but he asked her to listen to him and talk to me on his behalf. He claimed he’d been in shock for a while, that he saw himself going through the motions with me, but was checked out mentally, sort of like watching a movie about what was going on. That’s why he wasn’t emotional or sympathetic at the time.”
“And you don’t be
lieve that?”
“I don’t know. My therapist says a lot of the things he described to her are classic symptoms of psychological shock. But I just…” I shook my head. “I felt so alone back then, and it’s hard for me to forget. Plus, then there’s his string of marriages and the crazy stuff he’s done over the years.”
“Is he still partners with the father?”
“No, he’s not. The week after my drunken tirade, he split from his partner. He claimed he didn’t realize how much it upset me because I hadn’t said anything, and because they’d fired Braden after I went to the police.” I shook my head. “Honestly, he’s tried to make it up to me for years. He handled things wrong, but maybe he did have his reasons. I would like to forgive him and forget, but I don’t know how.”
“Do you have to do both?”
“What do you mean?”
“Forgiving and forgetting—I think they’re two different things. When you forgive, you allow yourself to stop harboring resentment so that you can be at peace with something. I’ve forgiven my mother for the shit she did when I was growing up—for disappearing for months at a time and leaving me on the streets to fend for myself. She’s not perfect, that’s for damn sure. But I needed to let go of the resentment for me more than I did for her. Now, I haven’t forgotten. Every time she calls to hit me up for cash, I remember. But I ask her how she is and talk to her anyway. Sometimes we even meet for dinner, if she doesn’t hang up on me after I tell her I’m not giving her any money so she can put it up her nose.”
He stroked my cheek. “I don’t think you can forget, and I think that’s probably a good thing, because we learn from all the shit in our past. But you can still choose to forgive, if you want.” Donovan put his hands up. “To be clear, I’m not taking your father’s side. Everything you told me makes me dislike him more than I already did. But I am on your side, and if you want to move on, you should. You can’t wait until you’re able to forgive and forget. Because you probably will never forget.”
Oh my God. Waves of emotion swept over me. For years, my therapist had been trying to talk me through moving on with my dad, and in five minutes, this man had gotten through to me. He was absolutely right. If I was waiting to have any relationship with my father until all of this was behind me, I’d be waiting forever. It felt like a great weight had been lifted off my shoulders.
