by Brisa Starr
I turn on my heel and leave. I run out to my car and get inside, slamming the door behind me, and the tears come again. Shit!
I’d thought I was done crying.
He’s gone. He left.
32
Ryker
The burnout of heartbreak has made me feel like a walking corpse the past couple of days. It’s evening, and the sun is setting by the time I pull my rental car into the driveway of my new house on Hanalei Bay, on the island of Kauai, Hawaii. I need to sleep and be alone. I don’t even care if there are sheets on the bed, or hell, a bed itself.
I step out of the car, and the dense humidity hits me like a steam room. It’s no joke that Kauai is known as the wettest place on earth. I beg to differ, that honor goes to Aspen’s pu… It’s no time for joking. I have to stop thinking about that. And her.
God, I want her back.
But I know that’s not likely.
I came here to get the hell out of town. It was too hard being within a twenty-mile radius of her. Dad understood, and he didn’t mind when I told him I had to take off. I brought my files and laptop. Though my plans of getting some work done on the plane quickly morphed into dowsing myself in rum-and-cokes and binge-watching Netflix. And a few hours of just staring at the seat in front of me.
I pull out my phone and read the message from Patrick, telling me where to find the keys. In the back, under the red planter. I walk around to the back and take a moment to enjoy the view of the ocean, and the acre of property, ringed by coconut palms. It’s stunning, but it makes me feel empty. All I want is to enjoy this with Aspen.
I let myself into the house and see the remodeling is going well. The workers are almost done. Only the deck and spare bedrooms need finishing.
I find the master bedroom and sit down on the bed. My injured back hurts from the flight, but I’m glad my shoulder is doing better. I didn’t even bother packing anything. I just figured I’d buy whatever I need here. Besides, I don’t like to carry luggage.
I walk around the mostly empty, 5-bedroom, 4700-square-foot house. I chose this house because of its unsurpassed views of the crescent arch of the bay, and the majestic, emerald green mountains, cut by narrow waterfalls that look like strands of diamonds. My plan had been to spend my winters here, and the place has a studio workspace and a full gym, too.
I head to the refrigerator, grateful that Patrick found somebody to stock it with food and drinks. I grab a beer and head to the breezy, screened-in lanai, and I sit down at the 10-seat centerpiece dining table. I’m bored. Aching. I take my journal out of my satchel and start to scribble.
Being here alone, the beauty of this place is dampened. My empty body is unable to feel anything but anguish without Aspen in my life. My chest tightens. I finish my beer.
I need to move on, though.
She wants nothing to do with me.
I walk to the bathroom and wash my face, bending over the sink as I do it. “Ouch. Shit.” My lower back fights me. I head into the bedroom and open the doors that step out onto a big, unfinished deck. I take a deep breath.
I don’t have any patio furniture out here yet, but there are some white plastic chairs for the contractors, so I sit down and open up the browser on my phone and search for patio furniture. I distract myself by ordering a bunch of shit, wondering if Aspen would like the pieces I’m choosing. I buy grey wicker furniture, couches and chairs, and a table with an umbrella. For the cushions and the umbrella, I choose the color red.
Maybe I should call her. I pull out my phone, and I see her last text message to me. Lose my number.
OK, maybe not.
I drink another beer, and silence fills my head as I watch the sun go down over the ocean. Fucking miserable.
Maybe I’ll feel better tomorrow.
The days go by like Los Angeles rush hour. Maddening and slow. It’s lonely, and not only do I miss Aspen, but I miss working with Dad. I chuckle, a minuscule one, because it’s all I can muster right now… I never thought I’d miss being a lawyer.
I’ve spent my boring time here shopping for shit for the house and walking on the beach. It sucks that I’m not well enough to exercise, so I go on long walks, all the way to the far end of the bay and back. I’m constantly thinking about Aspen. What is she doing? Where is she? Is she thinking about me? Does she miss me?
On this morning, I’m out walking before sunrise because my sleepless nights have returned. As I turn to head inside the house, my phone rings. I smile, it’s Dad FaceTiming me.
I answer. “Hey, Dad, what’s up?”
“Just wanted to check and see how you’re doing.”
“So-so. I’ve been walking a lot. The beach is beautiful. You and Nancy will have to come out as soon as you can. And the house is great.”
“Sounds amazing. So listen, just thought I’d tell you that Aspen came by with the pies and quiche today.
My heartbeat picks up at the mention of her name.
“Yeah? How is she?”
“She didn’t seem happy, Ryker, and she asked for you. She was gonna go see you in your office, but I told her you’d left for Hawaii.” He pauses a moment. “Anyway, just thought you should know.”
“OK, thanks,” I say, and I’m about to end the call, but I stop. “Dad, what do I do?”
“I’m surprised you even have to ask, Ryker.”
I stare at him, waiting.
“Go get your juice, son.”
My eyes widen as his words hit me. I didn’t expect him to say that. He was so matter-of-fact about it. No thinking needed.
I narrow my eyes and look at him through the screen on my phone. I take a deep breath, and for the first time, I feel I’m actually breathing oxygen.
“I gotta go, Dad.”
“I’ll bet you do. See you soon, and good luck!”
We end the call, and I walk back to the beach.
To plan.
It’s clear now.
I’m going after her.
After my juice.
I text Patrick and have him charter me a private jet back to Michigan as soon as I can get to Kauai’s airport, which is an hour’s drive from here. I suddenly realize why billionaires have helicopters… I’ll have to get Patrick on that.
As for what happens when I arrive in Michigan, I have an idea.
I’m going to need Popster’s and Gabby’s help.
It’s a bold plan, audacious as Aspen’s cherry-red lips. But I’m determined to get my woman back at all costs. I know we’re meant to be together.
Excited—and ready—I head back into the house. My phone buzzes with a text message.
Patrick: Your plane is waiting, sir.
33
Aspen
I grab some cherries from the box and start pulling off the stems. My Sunday morning will be busy with baking pies at the bistro, which is my favorite way to relieve stress, but I’ve already learned that it does nothing to help mend a broken heart.
I pluck one of the stems, and the memory of Ryker kissing me plays in my mind. Our first kiss… when I challenged him to tie the stem into a knot with his tongue. I even tried to go slow, giving him a sporting chance, but then my competitive nature pulled rank. And then, that kiss…
My face flushes warm.
Dammit. I put down the cherries and walk over to the refrigerator, holding the door open to cool me down. This is not helping me.
I call out to the dining room, where Mom and Popster are getting ready to head over to The Rose to work for the rest of the day. “Mom? Popster? Please open all the boxes that Amazon delivered, and check them against the inventory list. And maybe open all the windows to air out the place more.”
Mom peeks her head around the corner. “Sure thing, honey.” She shoots me a big smile. Too big. She must be trying to cheer me up. She adds, “Isn’t this exciting? Things are moving along, and with the fire damage so minimal, the contractors are really moving fast. In fact, it’s going to be nicer in many ways than before the fire. And we’re
not even that far behind schedule.”
For the first time, my giant goal… the one I thought was the only thing that mattered in the world, isn’t as fulfilling to me as it once was. I force a smile and nod anyway. “Yeah, Mom. It’s going to be great.”
Popster barges into the kitchen. “Aspen, uh, Gabby and I gotta go.” He turns to Mom and says, “Come on, Gabby.” Just before they turn to leave, a thought hits Popster, and he asks me, “Hey, did the fire chief ever get back to you about the cause of the fire?”
My body freezes. Shit. Not ready to tell him.
Thankfully, Mom interjects. “Come on, Dad, we don’t have time for chitchat!” She nudges him, and I don’t understand their big rush, but I’m grateful she distracted him. I holler, “I’ll see you two at The Rose after I’m done here.”
“Okay, see ya,” Mom calls out as they open the door to the bistro and exit.
I go back to pitting my cherries, and I decide some music will help. As I’m about to put in my ear buds, I hear the bells jingle above the door, and I call out, “Whadya guys forget?”
No answer.
A second later, I hear my name. “Aspen.”
My hands freeze, and electricity overwhelms my body. I think I’m hearing things, but I know I’m not. I look up.
It’s Ryker.
I stare at him, partly in shock, and partly wanting to smile, but my face remains impassive. Then a slight frown tugs at my mouth. Why is he here?
Dread punches me in the gut. It hurts so much to see him.
He steps cautiously into the kitchen. He continues, slowly, and steps in front of me. He’s close, but not close enough to touch. Like he’s keeping his distance.
I sigh then. He’s probably here to talk about the terms for paying back the money to repair the fire damage. I turn back to the counter and resume pitting the cherries. “What do you want, Ryker?”
“I miss you.”
I don’t look at him, but I close my eyes as his words wash over me, creating excitement and nausea.
“Aspen…”
I finally look at him. My heart melts, and my legs shake. His green eyes are full of emotion and need. He continues, “I’m here… for you.”
My lips part to say something, but no sound comes out, and he boldly steps forward. He sees the longing, the aching behind my eyes.
“Aspen, I’ve done a lot of stupid things since I first saw you that day, here in the bistro. I started falling for you that night in Crossbow Dixie’s parking lot.”
My brain takes over, and I put up my hand. As badly as I want him, I won’t go down that road again. “I can’t do this anymore, Ryker.”
“Yes, we can do this! What I did was wrong, but I knew I would tell you,” he says, and he reaches up a hand to cup my face. I close my eyes and turn my cheek into his palm. “I knew we would be married someday, and I focused on that future, a future where we share everything, and it clouded my judgment.” He strokes my cheek with his thumb. “I knew we’d be together, this connection we have, this pull we have between us… it’s love.” My eyes flash open and find his gazing back at me.
Love?
Is this love?
My mind spins out of control as my heart giggles at me. I’m sure it knew all along.
“I was cocky, Aspen. I still am, but I know we’re meant to be. I dismissed your feelings about your goals. I’m so sorry. I thought I knew what was better for you. For us. Sometimes I think I can solve any problem with money, and while that’s often the case…” he says, and a devilish smile plays on his lips, spreading warmth through my body, “I have to be careful when it comes to other people.”
I exhale. “You’re not the only one to blame, Ryker. I shouldn’t have pushed so hard against us. I almost gave you no choice, but you were determined and, well, it’s kind of romantic.” I grimace, but then smile. “The lengths you went to. You were ahead of me, and you saw something I hadn’t opened my eyes to see yet. My mind wasn’t in the same place my heart wanted me to be.”
He raises his other hand to cup my face, and that word—love—swirls around my heart, taking over my brain, and I feel dizzy.
“You said… love,” I breathe.
He leans his forehead to mine and says, “Yes, Aspen. I love you.”
I exhale, and it feels like every cell in my body is sporting a sappy smile, bouncing through my body like it’s drunk.
“I love you, too,” she says. “And I forgive you. Will you please forgive me? For being so blind to what was right in front of me, for making you work so hard. For not giving you a chance. And I found out it was all Popster’s idea, and I blamed you. I’m sorry for that, too.”
His lips find mine, and we kiss.
And I melt.
He wraps his arms around me to help hold me up, because he senses that I’m about to pool into liquid on the floor. I wrap my arms around him, and I want to pull him tighter, but I almost don’t have the strength. I’m emotionally spent. But, as he kisses me, he breathes renewed energy into me, reviving my empty body, and fueling it with love.
And oh my god, it’s love.
And it was love all along, which is why everything was easier. Even when my dream was going up in flames, everything was easier to handle… because of love, because I had him with me.
I kiss him back with all the passion pent up inside of me, pulling him to me, squeezing my body next to his.
He pulls his lips away, just far enough to say, “I love you, Aspen. I will love you forever. This is it. We are it. You and me. A team. Forever.” He dots kisses between all of his words, and I feel like a rainbow of fireworks are exploding all around me, like every flower is blooming at the same time all over the world. My body sings.
And I feel unstoppable, but not from my own efforts. I’m unstoppable because of our love. And that’s what love is about. Taking on life together.
He steps back and puts his hand in his pocket, and he leans against the counter, watching me. A cocky, sexy grin spreading across his face. He knows what he plans to say next, but he’s making me wait.
“What?” I ask, impatient.
He pulls a little, blue velvet box out of his pocket and he says, “If you can tie a cherry stem in a knot with your tongue faster than me, I’ll marry you.” I snort and laugh a hearty guffaw at his silly boldness.
He closes his eyes and says, “God, I love your laugh.”
“I know,” I whisper.
I look at the box he’s holding, and I’m sure it has a ring in it. My palms sweat, and I wipe them on my apron.
“Again, Ryker, you need to work on your proposals.”
“I’ve already proposed a million times, every time I told you we were going to get married.”
He steps closer to me.
I step closer to him.
He continues, “And I know I’ve thought it at least a million times more. Every time I look into your eyes, I see my future wife.”
With that, he gets down on his knee, opens the box, and holds it up to me. “Aspen, will you marry me?”
I gaze into his beautiful, tender green eyes. “Yes,” I say. “But as you said, you already knew the answer.” And as he stands up, I look at the box and have a heart attack. “Holy shit, Ryker!”
“Swear jar,” he laughs.
“This is… so… beautiful.” I whisper, barely able to speak, as I pull out the biggest diamond ring I’ve ever seen.
“I hope you don’t mind that I spent a nice little chunk of our money on that ring,” he says and winks.
Our money.
Boy, he’s determined. I blush, and he adds with a wicked smile, “I want to see that 7-carat ring sparkling on your finger when your hand is wrapped around my cock.”
My body tingles with need, and he kisses me long and hard, making up for lost time. And I want him. Now.
“Let me go lock the front door and close the blinds,” I say, between kisses.
“Wait, not yet,” he says. “I have another surprise for you.”<
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34
Aspen
“Another surprise?” I say to Ryker, intrigued.
“Yes. But I’ll need to blindfold you and take you somewhere.”
My eyebrows reach my forehead, but at this point, I’d do anything for him.
“But wait. My pies.”
I look over at the counter, and I hadn’t done more than just pit the cherries, so I can finish them later. “OK, I’m game. Let me put the cherries back in the fridge and go pee.”
We get in his car and he blindfolds me with a navy-blue silk tie. We drive about twenty minutes, and I keep trying to guess where we’re going, but he’s keeping his secret. I finally feel the car come to a stop, and he puts it in park.
“Stay here. I’ll come around and get your door for you.”
He opens my door, and I take his hand as he guides me out. We start walking, and I’m nervous because I can’t see a thing, but he’s holding my hand, and I know I’ll be fine. As if he can read my mind, he says, “Just relax, babe, I’m here. I’m in charge, and I’m guiding you. I won’t let you fall.” And his words seep into my soul.
“Can you just please tell me where we’re going?” I say, my heart thumping erratically.
He ignores me.
“Come on! Give me a hint. Is it something kinky?”
He laughs. “Shhh. We’re not alone.”
My cheeks flame. Fuck.
We stop walking, and he says, “OK, I’m going to remove the blindfold.”
He does that, and I see we’re at a hangar at a small airport. Standing before me are my mom, Popster, Ryker’s dad, and another woman, who I’m guessing is Ryker’s stepmom. They all yell, “Surprise!”
Mom pops open a bottle of champagne, and they all throw confetti. Popster yells, “Congratulations!”
Mom runs over to give me a hug, and then pulls away from me with the biggest expression of excitement I’ve ever seen on her face. “Turn around,” she says, pointing to something behind me. I turn around and see we’re all standing in front of a private jet.
