I’m surprised by the way that I feel as I drive away, leaving her behind at the house. I want to go back for her. I even consider saying to hell with all of it and turning my car around. I’m not sure what the hell I’d do once I did, and it’s a reminder of why that isn’t a possibility.
I walk through the front door of my parents’ house and Mum comes into the foyer, kissing the side of my face. “Happy birthday, my boy.”
“Thanks, Mum.”
Her eyes lower and lock on Ava Rose. “Oh, there’s my sweet granddaughter.”
Lying by omission to my parents about Ava Rose’s paternity makes me feel like shite. They truly believe that I had finally changed my mind about wanting a child. They believe that Ava Rose is my biological daughter. Their granddaughter.
I’ve considered being honest with them. Of course, their hearts would initially be broken, but I know that they’d continue to love Ava Rose. They’d make no difference between her and their other grandchildren. That’s the kind of people that they are.
So how did I end up like this? What happened to make me so damn opposed to parenthood? I can’t put my finger on it.
Mum takes the car seat from my hand and carries Ava Rose into the living room where the rest of the family is. “Look who’s here.”
Everyone leaves their seat, and the whole family gathers around Ava Rose, studying her, talking to her, playing with her. They are all so in love with that wee baby lass. I wish that I could feel what they feel. If I could will it and make it so, I would in a heartbeat.
I feel broken. Like my instinct telling me to not have children was there for a reason.
“Oh, Max. I can’t believe how much she’s grown since we saw her.”
“She has a healthy appetite.” At least that’s what the nannies tell me.
Mum rubs her hand over the top of Ava Rose’s head. “She has new hair coming in. Looks even brighter to me.”
“You think?”
“She’s definitely going to have Mina’s red hair and brown eyes.”
“Then she’ll be a lucky girl.” Mina was a beauty. There’s no arguing that.
“True, but I had hoped that Ava Rose would have your blue eyes.”
Impossible for that to happen when she doesn’t have any of my DNA. “Maybe she’ll inherit something else from me.”
“Let’s all hope that she doesn’t inherit your smart-ass mouth,” Ian says.
“My smart-ass mouth?”
I punch my brother in the upper arm. And maybe I give him a nice whack with my knuckles so he’ll really feel it.
“Ow. Fuck, Max”
“Puss.”
“Boys,” Mum says. Her tone. Her narrowed eyes. The combination has always had the power to make Ian and me settle down.
My sister Sara nods in the direction of her sons. “Leo is a sponge waiting to absorb new and interesting words so he can regurgitate them. Mind your language please.”
Nothing would please me more than to teach Leo—and later Mason too—some naughty words to repeat. If she’s wise, my sister won’t allow me to be alone with those wee rascals.
Dinner is delicious as always, and catching up with my family is nice. I enjoy seeing them dote on Ava Rose even if I’m unable to do the same.
“Family picture while we’re all together,” Mum says.
“Max, you have that new fancy mobile. You take the picture and then text it to all of us.”
There are nine of us here tonight. “Exactly how will that work? My arm isn’t long enough to fit everyone into the frame in selfie mode.”
“We can prop it up on something and use the timer,” Sara says.
I’m not a photographer. “I don’t know how to set up the timer.”
“I can do it,” Ian says. Figures. His generation knows everything about mobiles.
“Max, hold Ava Rose. Sara, hold Mason. Leo, stand in front of your mum and dad. And everyone be still and smile for Nana’s family photo.”
One photo. Two. Ten. We finally give up and decide to settle for whatever we happen to have already gotten when Ava Rose and Mason both start crying.
Ian thumbs through the family photos on my phone. “Damn, I don’t think it’s possible for Leo to ever be still. He looks like a blur in all of these.”
“The laddie is on the move all of the time.”
“Damn, Max. What have you been up to lately?” Ian asks.
“Not much. Just busy at work.” I feel like his question is implying something else, but I don’t know what. Until it clicks.
Fuck. Ian is looking at the pictures of Lou on my mobile.
I dash across the room and reach for it. “Give me my fucking mobile. Now.”
“Not so fast.” He holds me at arm’s length with a hand on my chest and continues thumbing through the pictures as I shove him out of the living room into the adjoining hallway.
“Give it to me, Ian.”
“It’s a good thing I didn’t call Mum over to pick which one of the family photos she wants you to send.”
“Give me my mobile. Now!” I hiss through gritted teeth.
“She looks familiar.”
Shite. He’s probably seen Lou at uni. “She’s no one.”
“She doesn’t look like no one to me.”
He twists the mobile to examine a picture from a different angle. “Damn, Max. Just damn.”
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
This is bad.
I yank my mobile out of his hand, and he has this look in his eyes. I think it’s respect? Admiration? Maybe envy? “You have a girlfriend. A hot-as-fuck girlfriend.”
“Shut up. You can’t say anything to anyone. And she’s not my girlfriend.”
Ian chuckles. “You are such a fucking liar.”
“She’s not my girlfriend. We’re just having a wee bit of fun together.”
“Those pictures look like you’re having a lot of fun.”
I don’t want to have this conversation with my brother. He’s still a kid on so many levels.
“A guy does what a guy has to do. I get it. This is a judgment-free zone. But I feel like I know her from somewhere.”
He’s going to figure it out. I might as well tell him the truth. Or part of it. “She’s a student at uni.”
“Fuck, Max. You’re dating a college girl?”
Oh hell. I didn’t even think about the age difference.
“She took some time off from school so she’s not that young.” Not a complete lie. Lou did take off a year. “And again, we’re not dating.”
I don’t want to talk about Lou this way with him. She’s my secret—one I don’t want to share—and he’s showing way too much interest in her.
“Are you serious about this lass?”
“No way.”
Ian laughs. “I think that you don’t like it worth a damn that I saw nudie pics of the girl you’re shagging.”
That part I can’t deny. It makes me sick that he saw parts of Lou that were supposed to be for my eyes only. “She’s not naked in these pictures.” Well, she is, but she’s mostly covered by the sheet.
“I have eyes and they work, you dobber.”
Sara comes into the hallway and sees the scowls passing between us. “What are you two fighting about now?”
I glare at Ian, a warning to keep his mouth shut about Lou. “We aren’t fighting.”
Sara comes over and stands beside me. “Let me have a look at the pictures.”
“No need. I’ll just send all of them to you.”
“No, Max. The pictures are really good. Let Sara see them.”
I give Ian a look that says I’m going to beat the fuck out of you later. “Sure.”
I hold my mobile, controlling Sara’s preview of our family photos, beginning at the end. Fuck, I can’t go too far back. How many did we take?
“Mum, you need to come see the pictures,” Ian calls out.
Fucker. I’m going to beat his arse into the ground.
“Hold on a second. I ne
ed my glasses.”
Fuck me.
Mum comes to me and takes the mobile from my hand, wearing her reading glasses. Grand. She’ll be able to clearly see Lou’s barely covered tits when she flips beyond our family pictures.
“Here, Mum. Let me help you.”
She slaps at my hand. “I know how to work a mobile, Max. I’m not that damn old.”
She holds my mobile at a distance, studying the first photo. “Ugh, my eyes are closed in that one.”
She thumbs through the second, third, fourth, and fifth pictures. And my stomach is in a huge knot. I’m about to be fucked. I feel it coming.
She has to be looking at the last family photo. “I think that’s it. I’ll send them all to you.”
Here it comes. One more flick of her thumb and it’s over. She’s going to see the proof of what I’ve been doing.
Her smile fades, as does the color from her face. And I know that she’s looking at it—the picture of Lou and me in bed together. The one where I’m kissing the side of her face.
She passes my mobile to me and smiles. “Your screen is too small. Email them to me so I can have a better look on my laptop.”
I look down at my mobile and confirm it. It’s Lou and me in bed. Fuck.
The image isn’t graphic so thank God for that. Her eyes are looking right at the camera and her hand is cupped around my jaw while I’m kissing the side of her face. It’s actually a very romantic-looking picture. We look like two people in love. There’s nothing shameful about it except for the fact that my wife has only been dead for three months. And that alone makes me feel ashamed.
My mum must think that I’m a pure bastard. And that kills me.
I wait until I find Mum alone in the kitchen. Of course, everyone goes missing when it’s time to clean. That’s always the case.
“Need help, Mum?”
“No, darling. It’s your birthday. You shouldn’t have to clean up.”
I ignore her decline for help and stand beside her, holding a dry towel. “You wash. I’ll dry.”
“All right.”
She passes one, two, three plates to me, and I dry each. It takes that long for me to grow the bollocks to bring up what she just saw. “I know that you saw the picture.”
I don’t have to say which one. We both know which picture that I’m referring to.
She hesitates a moment before replying. “I saw it.”
“I need to know what you’re thinking.”
Mum doesn’t answer immediately. “She’s a bonnie lass. No doubt about it.”
“You’re also thinking she’s a bonnie lass who is not my wife?”
Mum breathes in deeply and exhales slowly. “Mina is gone. No one expects you to be a grieving widower forever.”
“Mina’s family doesn’t feel that way.”
“They can’t expect you to not move forward with your life.”
Has she met the Lochridges? “Trust me. They can and they do.”
“They can think whatever they like but that doesn’t make it so, Max.”
“And what is your opinion? Do you think it’s too soon for me to have another woman in my life?”
“I think that only you can know when it’s time to move on. If you feel ready, then it’s time.”
I wasn’t expecting to hear this out of my mum.
Have I made this situation into something it’s not? I’m not sure.
21
Caitriona Louden
I’m alone in Hutch’s house. But I’m not scared. I’m bored. And lonely. I want Hutch to be here with me. And Ava Rose. I’ve gotten used to my playtime with her. I miss her too.
I call Rachel but don’t get an answer. Only voicemail. “Hey, Rachel. I guess you’re out with Claud, but I’m alone tonight. Hutch has gone to his parents’ house, and I thought you might want to come over and watch a movie or something. Call me if you get this message in time. If I don’t hear from you tonight, I’ll still see you tomorrow.”
I turn on the television but can’t find anything to watch. I decide that Hutch and Ava Rose’s absence might be the perfect time for me to take advantage of the huge tub. A bubble bath and soothing music. That’s what I need.
When the bathroom is nice and steamy, I twist my hair into a topknot and slip into the hot tub of bubbles and water. The fragrance is delicious—vanilla and black cherry. One of my favorites.
I close my eyes and relax against the back of the tub, listening to “Someone Like You” by Southern Ophelia. I love that song so much. Damn. Charlie William’s voice has that perfect country rasp. My kind of music.
I’m singing the slow-tempo lyrics when I see motion in the mirror through my peripheral vision. I turn around to see if my eyes are playing tricks on me, which is a real possibility considering how easily I get spooked, but there’s nothing wrong with my eyes or my mind.
Holy shit. I jolt when I see the woman standing in the doorway of the bathroom staring at me, my heart galloping like a racehorse out of the gates. How long has she been standing there watching me? For some reason, I suspect a while.
I gather bubbles in my hands, covering my body. “Who are you?”
“Who am I?” She laughs. “I think the question is who are you?”
“I’m Lou.”
“Where is Max?”
“He’s gone to visit his family in Glasgow.”
“Looks as though you’ve made yourself quite at home while your employer is away.”
She assumes that I’m part of the staff. That’s good. Very good. “It was hard to resist this tub while Mr. Hutcheson is away.”
“I don’t think that my brother-in-law would approve of you taking such a liberty.”
Shit, shit, shit. This woman is one of Mina’s sisters. “I’m certain that you’re right. I’ve overstepped my boundaries.”
“You don’t have luxuries like these where you come from.” I can’t tell if that’s a statement or a question.
“No, ma’am.”
“You’re American?”
“I am.” I see no reason to discuss my circumstances with her.
“What do you do for Mr. Hutcheson?”
I fuck him. “I help with the housekeeping.”
She laughs, but it’s easy to see that she isn’t amused. Her eye-roll tells me that she’s irritated by the thought. “You’re much too pretty to be a housekeeper.”
Being told that you’re pretty is typically a compliment, but it doesn’t sound like one coming from her.
“You never told me who you are.”
She’s tall and slender, wearing an elegant taupe dress with matching heels. Her natural red hair is cut in a medium-length bob with bangs that are too blunt, reminding me of the blunt manner in which she walked into this house uninvited and began interrogating me.
“Blair. I’m Mina’s sister. In case you didn’t know, Mina is Max’s late wife.”
“Yes, he told me about her. I’m sorry for your loss.”
“I’m sure that you are.” Her voice is low, low enough that I’m not sure if she intended on my hearing her catty remark. The only thing I know for sure is that my gut is telling me there’s something more to Blair’s unannounced visit.
Is she checking up on Max? Trying to catch him with a woman? From what Hutch has said, that’s a stunt Mina’s sister would try to pull.
“I’ll tell Mr. Hutcheson you came by.” Bye-bye.
“I left a birthday gift for Max in the living room. Make sure he gets it.”
“Birthday?” I whisper.
“Yes, today is his birthday.”
“Oh. I didn’t know.”
“I wouldn’t expect you to know. There’s no reason for the hired help to be told anything about his personal life.”
Wow. She really enjoys putting me in my place.
It’s Hutch’s birthday and he didn’t say a word. And why should he? I’m only his paid fuck buddy. Nothing but an employee, just like all of the other staff members. She’s right. There’s n
o reason for him to tell me things about his personal life.
If there was ever any question about where he and I stand, it’s now clear.
22
Maxwell Hutcheson
Lou. I’m missing her. I’m missing her far more than I ever thought possible.
I wanted to leave my parents’ house after dinner and go home to her, but I couldn’t. My family was enjoying their time with Ava Rose too much. They don’t get to see her as often as they’d like, and it would have been cruel to take that time away from them.
A compromise struck me: leave Ava Rose with my parents and go back to Lou. The house staff is gone for the weekend because I’m away. It would be just the two of us in the house again. Another weekend alone. Exactly what I want for my birthday.
I enter the house and go to my bedroom, turning on the bedside lamp. I smile when I see Lou sleeping on my side of the bed… and wearing one of my T-shirts. Isn’t that a sign that she’s missing me too?
It’s one in the morning and I only want to get naked and climb into bed with her, but I don’t. She’s easily spooked, and I don’t want to frighten her. Instead, I sit on the bed next to her and brush her soft cheek with the back of my fingers. “Lou.”
She stirs a wee bit but doesn’t wake. Such a deep sleeper. “Lou, baby.”
Baby? Where did that come from?
She opens her eyes and smiles when she sees me. “You came back.” She looks over at the clock. “At one in the morning?”
“I wanted to be with you.” I cup the side of her face. “It’s sort of a habit I’ve developed.”
She places her hand on top of mine and turns her face, kissing my palm. “I sort of have the same habit.”
A wrinkle forms over her brow. “You had a visitor this evening. Your sister-in-law Blair.”
Oh fuck. It’s never good when one of Mina’s sisters drops by. “How did that go?”
“How do you think it went?”
“Not fab.”
“I was taking a bubble bath in the tub… your tub… in your bathroom… in your bedroom.”
“Shite,” I mutter under my breath.
Beautiful Illusions Duet Bundle: Eighty-One Nights and Beautiful Ever After Page 15
