I’m not sure I believe her. “Do you swear?”
“I swear.”
I stay that way for a while, my cock softening inside of her. “I wish I could stay with you, but I have to go back to the office.”
“I know.”
She watches me put on my suit and then crawls behind me, sliding her arms around my waist when I sit on the edge of the bed to put on my shoes. “I’m never going to make it back to work at this rate. I’ll probably get fired.”
“I don’t think that would be so bad.”
“Losing my job wouldn’t be bad? In what world?”
She presses the side of her face to my back. “Wealth and success don’t equate to happiness.”
I turn my face, looking at her over my shoulder. “What does that mean?”
“There are other things in life that can make you happier than praise and money.”
I turn around and push her down on the bed, pinning her hands over her head. “What kind of things would make me happier?”
“Only you know the answer to that.”
Lou’s words are a spark that ignites a flame. And that flame burns hot in my mind.
Lou has given me something to think about.
35
Caitriona Louden
Tomorrow is the last day of the month. August 31. My final day with Hutch.
It took twenty-three years to find love and only eighty-one days to lose it. Is it possible that life is actually that cruel?
How will we say goodbye? Will he hug me before he leaves for work and tell me that it’s been a blast? Will he hold me in his arms and savor our final moments together? I don’t know. And I don’t want to think about it. I only know that even after I’m gone, he’ll still have a piece of me.
My heart.
He’s sleeping beside me in the dark and I listen to his breathing. It’s a predictable cycle: a slow deep breath in, his lips stick together, and the breath he exhales makes a “puh” sound on the way out. I’ve been hearing it since the first night I slept in his bed. It annoyed the shit out of me in the beginning, but I’m used to hearing it now. I expect it. I love it. And I’m going to miss it.
Lying on my side, I face him, and I cry. I cry like a damn baby. I cup my hands over my mouth, muffling the deep gasps when I feel like I’m losing my breath. He tosses in the bed and I cup my hands tighter, hoping that he won’t hear my sobbing.
“Lou?”
I don’t answer, hoping he’ll assume that I’m asleep.
“Lou?”
“Hmm?”
“Are you crying?
I take a deep breath and my chest makes that betraying sound only associated with crying. “No.”
God, that didn’t sound even a little bit convincing.
“Come here.”
I slide across the bed and place my head on his chest. He wraps his arm around me and rubs it up and down from my shoulder to my elbow. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah.” I lie because it’s easier than telling him what’s killing me inside.
“You don’t sound okay.”
No. Nothing about losing the man that I love is okay. But I can’t tell him that, so I do the one thing that makes me feel closest to him. The thing that makes me feel like he loves me back even if it’s not true. Because it’s a lie that I’ve come to love.
My beautiful illusion.
I move to my all fours and hitch one of my legs across him, straddling his body. My hands are palm side down against the mattress, one on each side of his head. I bend my elbows, lowering my still-naked body down on top of his, and I press my mouth to his for a kiss.
I roll my hips, moving my wet slit up and down the length of his swelling erection. I move a little higher than intended and hook the tip of his cock at my entrance. The angle is perfect for sliding inside of me. So I let it.
He grips my hips, squeezing them and pulling me downward. I rise up and sit back, sinking his remaining length inside me until it can go no farther.
“I feel things with you that I’ve never felt before,” Hutch whispers.
“It’s the same for me.”
He flexes his hips up every time I slide down and a deep groan vibrates from his chest. The sound is so male. Such a turn-on. And I would do this with him every day if it were up to me, but it’s not my choice. It’s his. And he isn’t asking me to stay.
He has my heart.
And I haven’t a chance.
“Fuck, Lou.” His fingertips dig into the fleshy part of my hips. “I’m going to come inside you.”
His cock twitches inside me and he makes a deep growling sound. And I know that he has just filled me with a part of himself, just like every other time we’ve been together this week.
I collapse against his chest, his arms wrapping around me. I don’t know how long I listen to his heartbeat, memorizing the sound.
“I have to get up, mo maise.”
He kisses the top of my head and slides out of bed, walking naked to the bathroom. That perfect ass… it’s another thing that I’m going to miss.
When he’s ready to leave for work, Hutch comes over just to kiss me goodbye as he has every morning since I moved in with him. “I’ll try to leave early so we can do something special tonight.”
“What kind of special?”
“Anything you want. Your choice.”
“You might regret giving me that kind of leeway.”
“Never.” He places a closed-mouth kiss against my lips. “See you this afternoon.”
“Everyone may call you a redhead but you, my sweet Ava Rose, are a carrot top. Your food is the same color as your hair.”
Ava Rose smiles and a little baby giggle fills the kitchen. “You think that’s funny, huh?”
She opens her mouth and I spoon another bite of smashed carrots into her mouth. “Mmm… mmm… that’s good stuff, right?”
Ava Rose finishes her lunch and we go into the living room. We sit on the sofa and I begin reading her favorite book. How do I know it’s her favorite book? She always becomes very still and quiet when I read it to her.
Lunch. Book. Nap. It’s become our daily routine. And I’m going to miss it terribly.
“The wee bunny hopped…” I stop midsentence when I see movement in my peripheral vision. Dammit. The snobby sister-in-law is back.
“This must feel very gratifying for you.”
Gratification is the last thing I feel right now.
I’ve had two interactions with this nosy woman, and everything out of her mouth on both occasions was insults and violations of Hutch’s privacy.
“Oh, look, Ava Rose. Aunt Blair is here.” Auntie monster is more like it.
“It’s amusing that you think you can come into my sister’s house and fill her shoes.”
From what Hutch has told me, Mina was a bitch. I wouldn’t want to fill her shoes. “I’m not trying to fill anyone’s shoes.”
“Speaking of shoes… since when does a housekeeper wear Louboutins?”
Well, shit. She’s got me there. “I don’t owe you an explanation about my shoes.”
“It’s funny that you mention explanations. Let’s talk about those.” She takes a folder out of her purse and opens it. “Caitriona Brooke Louden. Born July 8, 1996. Does that person ring a bell for you at all, LOU?”
Shit. How does she know my full name and birthdate?
“It should since it’s me. Lou… short for Louden. Do you have a problem with my nickname?”
“Your nickname? No. But I have plenty of other problems with you so let’s keep going. Your mum, Rebecca Louden, died when you were sixteen. Overdose. But before that, she worked in a bar on Bourbon Street. Not exactly mother material.”
“I can’t argue with that.” I’ll save her the time of reading my dad’s history aloud. “My father, Arran Watson, he’s not parenting material either. At least where I’m concerned. Is this supposed to be going somewhere?”
“It looks as though we have a case of like mot
her, like daughter. You followed in her footsteps by waiting tables at The Last Drop.”
“Unfortunately.”
“Where did you go to work after you left your waitressing position at the bar?”
“I became a housekeeper for Mr. Hutcheson.”
“You mean after you were trained at Inamorata to be an escort?” she says.
Every little detail in her report has been spot-on so far, but I neither confirm nor deny her allegation.
“There’s one thing that the private investigator hasn’t been able to prove. Did Max hire you to be his live-in whore, or did you come to work for him with the intention of weaseling your way into his life and then his bed?”
Nothing I say at this point is going to redeem myself with her, and I don’t really care to, but I can at least save Hutch’s image. “Mr. Hutcheson hired me to clean the house. I thought I could seduce him, but my efforts were useless.”
“I hope you realize that you can’t continue working here.”
Who the hell does she think she is, coming in here telling me I no longer work here? “My employment is between Mr. Hutcheson and myself.”
“Listen to me carefully, Caitriona. You’re going to take Ava Rose to her nanny, and then you’re going to pack your things and leave. Today. Now. I want you out of Max’s life. Out of Ava Rose’s life. Out of my life.”
“I’m not walking out on Mr. Hutcheson.”
“You are because if you don’t, I’m going to tell my father everything that Max has been doing with you.”
“There’s nothing to tell.”
She opens the file and takes out a photograph, holding it up for me to see. It’s Hutch and me. We’re in his bed. Naked. Kissing. Having sex from the looks of it. It looks like the photo was taken outside through his bedroom window.
We were being photographed in bed? What a fucking invasion of privacy. Hutch won’t be happy about this at all.
“I know everything about you and Max. Your friend Chambers was very forthcoming about you and your employment at Inamorata.”
Well, damn. Chambers managed to fuck me after all.
“If you know everything, then what was the point of asking me about Hutch?”
“I wanted to see for myself how you’d react. And now that I know you care about Max, I’m going to use that to my advantage. Leave and never contact him again. Say one word to him about any of this and life as he knows it is over. I will ruin him.”
I love Hutch. And I can’t allow his life to be ruined because of me. Especially when our arrangement is almost over anyway.
He doesn’t love me. If he did, he would have said so by now. And he isn’t going to ask me to stay. If he were, he would have done it already. God knows that I’ve given him every opportunity this week short of begging.
“All right. I’ll go.”
She smiles and she should. She’s getting her way. “I look forward to never seeing you again.”
Tear rolls down my face as I take Ava Rose to the nursery. I don’t want to give up this little girl. I don’t want to walk away and never see her again. I love her.
Mrs. McVey has stepped out of the nursery so it’s only Ava Rose and me. I sit in the glider and she wraps her arms around me, her head on my shoulder. Ready for her nap but I have things to say to her.
“Your daddy loves you. Don’t ever think for one second that he doesn’t.” I rock back and forth with her, sobbing like a baby myself. “This hasn’t been easy for him, but he’s changing. He’s changing for you. He’s not where he needs to be yet, but he’s going to get there. He just needs a little more time.”
Ava Rose falls asleep in my arms, and I hold her against my chest. Against my heart. “You’ll always have a place in my heart. I won’t ever forget you or the time we’ve spent together.”
I get up and place Ava Rose in her crib. I kiss my fingertips and press them to her soft, chubby cheek. “Goodbye, sweet girl.”
36
Maxwell Hutcheson
Today has been one of the more miserable days of my life. That’s saying a lot after everything I’ve gone through during the last few years.
The life I’ve had with Lou for the last three months is coming to an end. I’ve put it off for as long as possible, but it’s time for me to make some hard decisions.
I see three options:
One—I let Lou go. Allow our contract to expire at midnight and never see her again.
Two—ask her to extend the contract and continue our relationship with the same terms.
Three—allow our contract to expire and ask her to continue our relationship without terms. No contract. No arrangement. No exchange of money.
Option one is a no. I can’t never see Lou again.
Option two is a possibility but not what I really want. I’ve tired of the secrecy. And I want more.
Option three is the only choice where I get what I really want.
Decision made. This arrangement is ending and not only because our time is up. I want a real relationship with Lou.
I have my family’s approval. And Ava Rose’s. Neither are necessary for Lou and me to be together, but I’m happy to have their acceptance. It means a lot because they’re the most important people in my life.
And everyone else… to hell with what they’re going to think or say. And that goes double for the Lochridges. They’re done dictating what I should and shouldn’t do with my life.
I feel good about this decision. Very good. And I can’t wait to talk it over with Lou.
I tap on Thomas’s office door. “I’m leaving for the day.”
“You’ve been doing that a lot lately, haven’t you? Leaving early?”
“I don’t think four-thirty is considered all that early by most people’s standards.”
“Perhaps not, but we have different standards at this firm, don’t we?”
I’ve always worked seventy to eighty hours a week for Thomas. I earn more money than any other employee at Lochridge Investments. I’m quite certain that he isn’t a fan of my decreased hours.
Wealth and success don’t equate to happiness. There are other things in life that can make you happier than praise and money.
What kind of things would make me happier?
Only you know the answer to that question.
I haven’t stopped thinking about that conversation with Lou. I want to find the happiness that she was talking about and claim it as mine.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Thomas.”
HUTCH: I’m leaving the office. Can’t wait to see what you have planned for tonight.
I look at my mobile every few minutes, eager to see what Lou’s reply will be. Nothing. And still nothing by the time I arrive home.
It’s not like her to not respond within a few minutes. Maybe she’s running late and is in the shower? Or maybe she’s busy tending to the details of something she has planned for tonight?
I enter the house and I’m surprised to find Sonny still here. Guess we’re having dinner at home. And why wouldn’t we? Lou has no idea that I’m ready to take this relationship public. She wouldn’t have planned on us going out for dinner.
“Something smells good. Did Lou request something special for tonight?”
“I haven’t seen Miss Lou today. I chose salmon for tonight. I hope that’s all right.”
How odd. I would have expected her to choose the menu for tonight.
“Aye, salmon sounds delicious.”
I go to the bedroom and no Lou, which contradicts my theory about her not replying to my text because she was in the shower.
Perhaps she’s in the nursery? She’s been spending a lot of time with Ava Rose.
“Good evening, Mr. Hutcheson. Come to visit the wee lass?”
She isn’t in the nursery either. “I’m actually looking for Lou. I thought that she might be visiting Ava Rose.”
The corner of Mrs. McVey’s mouth tugs downward. “You’ve not spoken with her?”
You’ve not spoken
with her? Something about that sounds ominous.
“Not since this morning.”
“Oh… Mr. Hutcheson.”
“Has something happened?”
My first thought goes directly to Cameron Stewart. Did he call again? Find a way to get to her?
My next thought is of her father. Has that bastard done something else to cause her pain?
Or Chambers?
“Miss Lou brought Ava Rose to me just after lunch and she was in tears. Completely beside herself.”
“About what?”
“She didn’t say. I only know that it happened after Miss Blair’s visit.”
Oh, great. Another visit from my nosy, overbearing sister-in-law.
“Where is Lou?”
“She’s gone.”
“What do you mean gone?”
“She said her goodbyes to Ava Rose and me and left.”
“Did she say when she was coming back?”
“She isn’t coming back, Mr. Hutcheson.”
“What time did she leave?”
“One-thirty. Maybe two.”
Fuck, that was three hours ago, and she didn’t call me? What is going on?
“You don’t know where she went?”
“No, sir.”
I don’t understand what is happening. We had plans for tonight. Surely, she wouldn’t have left me without so much as a goodbye.
Except that she has.
I call her mobile as I return to the bedroom, and it goes straight to voicemail. I immediately end the call and message her.
HUTCH: I don’t understand. What happened?
HUTCH: Where are you?
HUTCH: We need to talk.
I search the bedroom while I wait for her reply. Her purse is gone. No laptop in its usual place or its charger plugged into the wall. But what causes me the most anguish is that her birth control pills are gone. She has left with no intentions of coming back.
Why have you done this, Lou?
HUTCH: Why have you left me?
HUTCH: We aren’t finished. I have so many things to say to you.
Beautiful Illusions Duet Bundle: Eighty-One Nights and Beautiful Ever After Page 23
