by Adele Abbott
“I wouldn’t have thought so.”
“You should have told her to get some in.”
“For goodness sake, stop moaning, will you? There’s no wonder Stewart wanted rid of you.”
“Don’t mention that loser to me. He was even worse than you lot.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment.”
I tried to get Buddy to walk from the car park to the office, but we’d only gone about halfway when he stopped dead in his tracks and refused to budge, so I had to pick him up. We hadn’t gone much further when someone shouted from across the road.
“Is that your dog, Jill?” It was Blaze. He and Daze were once again cleaning windows.
“Yeah, this is Buddy.”
“He’s a lot smaller than the last time I saw him.” Daze grinned.
“You’re thinking of Barry. That’s my other dog. Are you two still on the lookout for roof sprites?”
“Yeah, but no joy so far.”
“What exactly have they been up to?”
“Thieving. Roof sprites are renowned for it. They work in gangs, as many as ten or fifteen at a time. They always gain access to a house or office via the roof—hence the name.”
“And you still think they’re operating in this area?”
“I’m beginning to have my doubts,” Daze admitted. “We’ve more or less exhausted all the roofs around here, but we’ll catch up with them sooner or later.”
“Hey, Jill,” Blaze shouted. “Why don’t you ask Daze if you can see her dress.”
“Shut it, Blaze!” Daze gave him her patented death stare.
“Dress?” I was intrigued. If Daze wasn’t wearing her trademark catsuit, she was usually in jeans and a sweatshirt. “Tell me more.”
“Go on, Daze, tell Jill.” Blaze was clearly enjoying this, although I suspected he’d be made to pay for it later.
“I’m up for an award at the annual RR awards next weekend, so I thought I ought to make the effort.”
“Do I get to see it?”
“Definitely not.”
“I’ll send you a photo,” Blaze said.
I made my way up the stairs, and without thinking, I walked straight into the office.
“Jill!” Mrs V sighed. “I’d almost finished recording then.”
“Sorry, Mrs V, I totally forgot about the knocking rule.”
“Who is that little beauty?” She stood up. “What a little darling.”
“Is this her?” Buddy said.
“Yes, make sure you’re on your best behaviour.”
“I’m always on my best behaviour around animals,” Mrs V said. “Can I hold him?”
She didn’t wait for an answer before she took him in her arms and started to tickle him under the chin. “I’ve got something for you, little doggy.”
Mrs V took him around the desk, opened the drawer, and pulled out a packet of treats, which she sprinkled on the floor. As soon as she put him down, he began to vacuum them up.
“When did you buy those?” I said.
“Last week, as soon as you told me you were going to bring him in. I couldn’t allow him to pay me a visit and not have a treat for him.”
“You’re spoiling him.”
“He’s worth it. He’s such a lovely little thing. He must bring you lots of joy and happiness.”
“Oh yeah. Tons of it. Are you alright to watch him for a minute while I nip next door?”
“Of course. Go ahead.”
“I smell a dog out there,” Winky said. “Have you brought that big daft thing in again?”
“No, it isn’t Barry. I’ve brought Buddy in to meet Mrs V.”
“You mean the rat?”
“He’s a Chihuahua.”
“I hope you don’t intend to bring him through here.”
“Don’t worry. As soon as Mrs V’s finished making a fuss of him, I’ll take him back home.”
“Good.” He reached under the sofa. “I’ve got a little present for you.” He handed me a Fitbit.
“You bought this for me? How come?”
“I didn’t buy it, exactly. I got it through a friend of a friend.”
“I hope it’s not stolen.”
“It isn’t, I promise. Come on. Put it on.”
“Okay.” I slipped it onto my wrist.
“Right, let the challenge begin,” Winky said.
“What challenge?”
“When I told you how many steps I’d done last week, you said that you’d done more.”
“Of course, I did. I’m always on the go whereas you’re stuck in here all day.”
“We’ll see, won’t we? Whoever does the most steps between now and Friday is the winner.”
“You’re on, Winky. I can’t lose.”
“If you’re so confident, how about a small wager?”
“Sure, how much?”
“Fifty pounds?”
“You’re on.”
This was going to be the easiest money I’d ever made.
I waited another ten minutes and then went to rescue Mrs V. I figured by then, she’d be ready to strangle the annoying dog.
Not so.
Buddy was standing on Mrs V’s desk, and his little tail was wagging ten to the dozen. I’d never seen him so animated or so happy.
“It looks like you two are getting on well.”
“He’s such a little darling.” Mrs V beamed. “I could play with him all day.”
“I’d better take him back home now.”
“I hope you’ll bring him in to see me regularly.”
“We’ll see.”
“It was lovely to meet you, young man.” She gave him another fuss. “See you again soon.”
“I like her,” Buddy said, once we were out of the office.
“I can’t believe you actually like someone.”
“Why wouldn’t I? She’s a nice old lady. She gave me some treats and she didn’t expect me to chase after a stupid ball. Can I go and live with her?”
“I wish you could.”
“Why can’t I?”
“Because Florence would be devastated.”
“That little squirt? Who cares about her?”
“I do. She’s my daughter.”
“Why don’t I ever have any good luck.” He sighed.
“Stop moaning. Are you ready?”
“Ready for what?”
“I’m going to magic us back home.”
“What do you mean, magic us? What’s wrong with the car?”
“I don’t have time to drive all the way to Middle Tweaking and back again.”
“Is this going to hurt?”
“Of course not. Don’t be such a wimp. Are you ready?”
“No.”
I ignored him and cast the spell anyway. Moments later, we were in the kitchen at the old watermill. Jack must have heard us arrive because he came through from the lounge.
“How did it go with Mrs V?”
“Much better than I expected. This one was very taken with her. He even asked if he could go and live with her.”
“That sounds like a great idea.”
“I agree, but I don’t think Florence would. She’d be devastated.”
“You’re right. Maybe when she gets fed up with him.”
“Excuse me,” Buddy said. “I’m standing right here.”
“What did he say?” Jack asked because all he could hear was the dog barking.
“He was reminding us that he’s right here. I don’t think he appreciated us talking about him.”
“Right. Sorry, Buddy.”
I put the dog down and he went outside.
“I can’t stay, Jack. I’ll see you tonight.” I gave him a kiss and magicked myself back to Washbridge.
When I walked into the outer office, Mrs V gave me a puzzled look.
“What have you done with Buddy?”
“Taken him home.”
“But you’ve only been gone a few minutes.”
Oh bum!
“I—e
rr—Jack came to pick him up. He was waiting outside.”
“You’re so lucky to have that little darling.”
“I know. We count our blessings every day.”
In my office, Winky was fast asleep on the sofa. Bobby and Bertie were on the windowsill, and they seemed to be much happier than the last time I’d seen them.
“Good morning, Jill,” Bobby shouted.
“Hi, Jill.” Bertie waved a wing at me.
“Hello, you two. The last time I saw you, you were down in the dumps. What’s happened to cheer you up?”
“We have great news,” Bertie said. “Do you remember we told you we were struggling to find girlfriends? Well, there’s a new dating app available just for pigeons; it’s called Pigeon Love.” He held out his phone to show me.
“That’s great.”
“It only came out yesterday, and it’s a bit on the expensive side, but we decided to sign up, anyway. If it helps us to find girlfriends, it’ll be money well spent.”
“That’s fantastic. Any replies so far?”
“Not yet, but then we only put our profiles up this morning.”
“Fingers crossed, then. And be sure to keep me posted.”
***
My workload was crazy.
Take today for example: I had to collect Gwen Ravensbeak from Candlefield, take her to Deli’s salon to get her nails done, and then take her to the spot on the river where young Liam Roberts had disappeared.
I was also still trying to figure out whether the two clowns, who’d apparently died of heart attacks during NOCA meetings, had in fact died from natural causes, or whether there was something more sinister afoot.
Then, of course, there was Margaret Plant’s missing manuscript, which I was no nearer to finding.
Busy, busy, busy.
It turned out that Gwen Ravensbeak lived on the same road as Aunt Lucy, in a small house opposite the bowling club.
“Come on, Gwen, we’re going to be late,” I shouted.
She’d gone upstairs to get changed fifteen minutes earlier and there was still no sign of her.
“Stop nagging. I’m ready.” She appeared at the top of the stairs, dressed as though she was going to a wedding.
“Are you sure you want to wear that outfit? It’s quite muddy near the river.”
“That’s as maybe, but I can’t turn up at the beauty salon looking like a bag of rags, can I? If I’m going to be attended to by one of the human world’s leading nail technicians, I want to look my best.”
“Did I mention that it’s a man who’ll be doing your nails?”
“You did, yes. I must admit I was a little surprised at first, but as he’s won so many awards and appeared in magazines, he must be a master of his craft.”
“Right. Are we all set?”
“Just a second.” She checked her handbag. “Yes, I think I’ve got everything.”
“Great. Let’s go.” I reached out to take her hand.
“What are you doing?” She pulled away.
“I was going to magic us over there.”
“I’m a witch too, you know. I’m quite capable of magicking myself over there, thank you very much.”
“But you don’t know where we’re going.”
“I’ll follow you.”
“Okay, if you’re sure. On three: One, two, three.”
I landed in a quiet alleyway across the road from Deli’s salon, but there was no sign of Gwen. I knew I should have insisted that I magicked the two of us. She could be anywhere.
“Ouch!”
She’d landed right next to me and knocked me to the ground.
“Sorry, Jill. Are you okay? My bearings must have been slightly off.”
“I’m alright.” I got to my feet and brushed myself down. “Come on, we have to hurry.”
I led the way out of the alley and across the road to the salon where the same receptionist was behind the desk.
“Hi there,” I said. “I believe you have an appointment for my friend, Gwen Ravensbeak. It’s with Nails at eleven.”
She checked her computer. “That’s right. If you’d both like to take a seat, he’ll be with you shortly.”
Gwen took a seat on the couch, but I remained standing.
“Gwen, I’m going to nip out because I have a few things to attend to.” I turned to the receptionist. “How long is the appointment likely to last?”
She checked her computer again. “I would give it about an hour.”
“I’ll be back by then.”
I didn’t actually have any business to attend to, but I didn’t want to hang around the salon in case Deli spotted me and talked me to death for the next hour. I nipped across the road to Coffee Animal where Dot was once again on duty. Mysteriously, her beauty spot was nowhere to be seen.
“You seem to be working a lot of hours, Dot. You’re always here.”
“A couple of people have quit recently, so I’ve taken on extra shifts. Me and my boyfriend, Dezzy, are saving up for a house, so the extra cash comes in handy. Your usual?”
“Yes, please.”
Dot handed me the coffee and a blueberry muffin, and I was just about to look for a table when she said, “Don’t forget to take your animal.”
“What is it today?”
She reached under the counter and brought out a small glass cage.
“Is that a snake in there?”
“It is.”
“I don’t think I’ll bother. I’m not a big fan of snakes.”
“There’s nothing to be scared of. It’s perfectly harmless.”
“Are you sure?”
“Absolutely. The management checked and double-checked to make sure that none of the snakes in here today are poisonous.”
“Okay, if you’re sure.”
The snakes were clearly a big draw because the shop was the busiest I’d seen it in ages. The only free table I could find was right at the back. I’d just sat down and taken a sip of coffee when the snake hissed, “Give me some of your muffin.”
“Snakes don’t like muffins.”
“Of course we do. We love them. What flavour is it?”
“Blueberry.”
“That’s my favourite. Go on, give us a bit.”
“I’m not sure about putting my hand in there with you. Are you poisonous?”
“No fangs.”
“No thanks, what?”
“I didn’t say, no thanks. I said, no fangs!” He opened his mouth. “See! No fangs.”
“Okay then.” I broke off a small piece of muffin, opened the lid a fraction and dropped it inside.
“Thanks. Can I get out of here?”
“Definitely not.”
“Why not?”
“You might slither away.”
“I won’t, I promise.”
“Sorry, I can’t take that risk.”
“At least give me some more muffin, then. That wasn’t a very big piece.”
“Okay.” I broke off another piece and dropped it into the cage.
“Do you mind if I sit here?” A young man was standing next to my table. “I’ve looked everywhere, and these are the only spare seats.”
“Sure, help yourself.”
He slid onto the seat opposite me. The cage he had with him was much larger than mine, and the snake inside it was much bigger too.
“Thanks very much,” he said. “I’ve been trying to find a seat for ages.”
Before I knew it, he’d opened the cage and let his snake out.
“Are you sure that’s safe?” I said.
“Oh yes, perfectly safe. I checked with the woman behind the counter, and she assured me that none of the snakes in here today are poisonous.”
“Just make sure you keep it on your side of the table.”
“Don’t worry. I will.”
I was watching my snake, who had just finished the muffin I’d given him, when I heard a strange noise. I looked up to find the man seated opposite me, going red in the face and waving hi
s arms around in abject panic. He opened his mouth as if to speak, but only a gurgling sound came out, probably because his snake had wrapped itself around his neck and was slowly choking him to death. Putting my fear of snakes to one side for a moment, I grabbed it and tried to pull it off him, but it was way too strong. Another minute and the man would be dead, so I cast the ‘power’ spell. That did the trick—I managed to unravel the snake from the man’s throat and threw it back into the glass cage.
The man gasped for air and eventually managed to splutter, “Thanks. I thought I was a goner there for sure.”
Chapter 15
As I was leaving Coffee Animal, the guy I’d just rescued was remonstrating with the manager. Understandably so, because he’d come very close to being asphyxiated. From the snippet of conversation I heard, the manager was pointing out that they’d only guaranteed the snakes weren’t poisonous. Not that they weren’t capable of crushing someone to death. To my mind, the manager was hiding behind a technicality, but I had no intention of getting involved.
Back at Deli’s salon, Gwen was sitting on the couch, talking to Nails. I could tell by her demeanour that she was pleased with the work she’d had done.
“You will allow me to come back for regular treatments, won’t you, Nails?” she said.
“Of course, Gwen. I’ll have the receptionist book you an appointment in four weeks if that suits.”
“That would be wonderful.”
Nails checked his watch. “Sorry, Gwen, but I have to go now. It’s actually my day off, but I came in specially for your appointment.”
“Of course. I really do appreciate you fitting me in at such short notice.”
As Nails came towards the door, I pulled him to one side. “Thanks for doing this.”
“No problem, Jill. Anything for an old friend.”
Old?
“Gwen, judging by the look on your face, I’d say that went well.”
“It certainly did, Jill.” She held out her hands. “What do you think?”
“Err—those nail extensions are very long. Is that what you asked for?”
“No, but Nails persuaded me it was the way to go, and I think he was right, don’t you?”
“Err, yeah, they’re very nice.” Provided you never have to pick anything up. “Right then, Gwen, shall we go to the river?”
