“I bound you up the day before yesterday. It’s sunset, so about two days. We are starting to run a little low on water again, but should have enough to last, if we leave tomorrow morning.”
“Cutting it close, aren’t we?” John asks with wonder in his voice.
“Do you want us to leave you behind?” David asks archly.
John shakes his head. “I’m just surprised you cut it this close is all.”
David waves the comment away. “You couldn’t be moved and I sure wouldn’t let anyone leave you behind, not that anyone seriously considered doing that in the first place.”
John looks at him, directly. “Who suggested it?”
David scoffs. “Sean. Tried to throw a fit, but was quickly shot down by the rest of us. No one even considered leaving you behind. He shut up quickly enough, after he saw no one else was backing him.” He shakes his head. “If we don’t do something about him soon enough, he’s going to cause a lot of problems for us in the long run.” He strokes his jaw thoughtfully. “I know this isn’t a good time, but it’s starting to become a critical issue.”
John looks out of the tent, seeing several party members moving about the camp. He moves his mouth a couple of times, trying to work some saliva around in his cotton-filled maw. “I don’t know. Honestly, I’ve been trying to figure something out, but until he’s ready, there’s not much I can do. I know when I had the same obsession, it took me accepting the Gift of Grace to get over it. Violence is addicting.”
“How do you mean?”
“I saw how Sean watched all the violence I did to the prisoner. It’s not good. It’s a sip of water to a man dying of thirst.”
“You mean, he’s gotten a taste of violence, and now all he wants is blood?” David asks with wonder evident in his voice.
John nods. “I can’t tell you what it’s going to take to fix this, because I don’t know. I just pray it doesn’t cost more than he or his faith can pay.”
David takes a slow, deliberate breath. “I hate seeing him hurt like this. I just wish there were something I could do.”
John shakes his head. “I wish I could tell you better.” He shrugs. “But, I can’t. There’s only so much you or I can do for him. You can lead a horse to water, but can only drown him trying to force him to drink.”
David starts to say something, but apparently decides not to and just nods in response. He looks outside for a moment and says, “I know you’re not really feeling hungry, but it’s been two days since you last ate. You need food. I’ll be right back.” He gets up to leave, turns and smirks at John. “I expect you’ll be getting a visit from my wife and Jake, shortly.”
John sighs disconsolately. “Bekah, I would love to see. Josh? Maybe not so much.” He groans as his head begins to throb. “I guess whatever you think best. Not like I’m in any kind of position to argue or anything.”
David gives him a curious look, then looks away. Quietly, he says, “The only reason Jake wasn’t here when you woke up is because I forced him to leave your bed-side. This may surprise you, but he’s been watching over you since just before you knocked yourself out. Well, mostly. He said he couldn’t sleep, knowing you were hurt.”
John is taken completely aback by this revelation. He shakes his head slowly, aware it’ll hurt if he does it too fast. He’d been expecting that level of concern from Joey, but Josh? Perish the thought. Maybe he REALLY is a Christian after all. “Mmh. Something to think about, isn’t it?” He huffs, his mind racing at what he just heard. “I don’t know. I just don’t know.”
David nods. “It’s just something to consider. I’ll be back in a few minutes with some food.”
He’s not gone more than thirty seconds, before John hears David’s voice say, “Yeah, but be careful. He just woke up, so be gentle.”
A moment later, Rebekah enters the tent, tears streaming down her face as she rushes to enfold John in a gentle, yet fierce hug.
“What’s this, now?” He gently strokes her blonde hair.
She trembles against him, crying into his chest. “I was sure you were gone for good!” Her voice is muffled against his shirt, but he’s able to make out a good part of what she’s saying. “You–you were raving so loud and so long, then out for so long, I–I didn’t know if I would ever talk to you again.” Her trembling becomes harder as her crying turns to sobbing.
“Why, what is this, Rebekah? Why are you so upset? It’s just me, just old John. What has you crying so hard, girl?”
She sits up and looks him in the eye. “Don’t you DARE tell me you don’t matter. You’re just like my dear old dad. Ask David. He’ll tell you, you’re like the father he wishes he had growing up, not the creature his mother was married to.”
John can only sit there in amazement. “I had no idea you both felt this way. Of all the wonders.”
She wipes her tears, then sets her jaw stubbornly. “Well, now you know! So don’t you dare go doing anything stupid like dying on us anytime soon!”
Not knowing what else to say, John says simply, “I won’t. At least, I’ll try my hardest not to!”
“Sweetheart, I said be gentle with the man. Give him some room to breathe,” David’s voice sounds behind his wife.
Her face aghast, she rocks back onto her heels. “Oh! Did I hurt you?”
John smiles weakly. “No, dear. I AM fine, I WILL be fine. No damage done, see?” He moves around a little bit and is immediately sorry for it. “Okay, so nothing YOU did, I’m just being stupid.”
David nods in agreement. “Yeah, that WAS pretty dumb. Feel up to this?” He holds out a bowl of thick, hearty stew.
At the tantalizing aroma, John’s stomach announces his decision for him. “Where’d you get this?” John demands, taking the bowl and digging into it immediately.
“Sean, actually. He said if he can’t be on the trail of his parent’s killer, he may as well do something useful in camp. That is, after he convinced Joey to give him some shooting lessons.”
John nods slowly, trying to keep from spilling his food. “Yeah, I expected that. Until he learns how to handle a piece, he’s more dangerous to those around him and himself, than his target.”
David strokes his jaw thoughtfully. John hears the scratching sound of the rough whiskers. “That’s true. I guess we’ll see.”
John looks at his young friend with compassion. “It looks like Josh isn’t the only one that needs a good night’s sleep.”
David nods and rubs his neck. “This trip is especially tough. The last time I was up here, I was leaving for medical school. I knew I would come back here one day, but not now, definitely not under these circumstances. It’s taking its toll.”
John nods, knowingly. “Returning home, no matter the time or the distanced traveled is always strange, even unsettling.”
David nods and turns as Josh’s voice can be heard outside asking, “May I enter?”
The young doctor looks at his wife. “It’s starting to get too crowded in here, my love. I say we leave the brothers to their chat.” Quickly he ushers her out of the tent, allowing Josh to enter.
The smirk on Josh’s face speaks volumes about seeing John lucid. “That knock on your head should leave a nice enough scar. Won’t do too much to improve your chances with the ladies, though. How ya feelin’?”
“Like I hiked three days through a desert carrying a horse, cannon AND carriage all at once.”
Josh chuckles. “As if you had any experience doing that?”
John puts his finger up to his lips and shushes his oldest friend. “Don’t give away any of my secrets. I DO have a reputation to maintain after all.” He smiles wanly. “I hear I have you to thank for playing nursemaid. My question is why?”
“What do you mean, WHY?” Josh demands, seeming offended. “Why wouldn’t I watch over you? You’re my blood-brother after all. You’re literally the only family I have left!”
“Then why didn’t you try to tell me you were still alive, all these years?” He sh
akes his head, immediately regretting both the question and the movement. “Look, I didn’t mean it that way.”
Josh shakes his head stubbornly. “Yes, you did. Honestly, after I was ordered by Walters not to tell anyone, I was scared you would think me a coward for not coming forward. After awhile, I’d lived the lie so long, I never knew how to get away from it.”
John looks at his brother with a new-found respect, understanding the amount of guts that admission required. “I know the comforts of living in a lie, like that. What are you going to do about it, especially now that you have a daughter?”
Josh rubs the back of his neck. “I don’t know. She really DOES deserve to know who I actually am, doesn’t she?”
John nods wordlessly.
Josh slowly takes a deep breath. “I can’t do anything about it while we’re on the trail, but I promise to think on it. You still mad at me?”
“Well, I’m not happy, but I’m not mad either, I guess. My brush with death has made me think, maybe I really DO need to let go of the pain. I can’t promise anything, except that I’ll try to let it go. Alright?”
Josh nods. “Fair enough. I know it takes a lot of work to forgive someone. God knows I’ve been seeking forgiveness myself, for years. I can only pray you’re willing to forgive me at some point.”
John takes a moment to think before answering. “No promises, other than to try. I guess forgiving you is a part of letting go of the pain, isn’t it?” He sighs. “When I accepted the Gift of Grace, I was told I would have to learn how to forgive others just as they need to forgive me. Brothers?” He holds out his hand sees that it’s shaking slightly from the effort it’s taking.
Josh steps forward and takes the proffered hand, smiling and nodding. “Brothers. Always and forever.”
John shakes his brother’s hand, then nods. Even though he’s still afraid he’s making a mistake, the freedom he gets from the act of forgiving Josh is like lifting several fifty-pound sacks of flour from his chest. He’s never forgiven someone for a transgression this big before and is pleasantly surprised at how good it feels.
It feels like he can take a deeper breath now than he has for the better part of a month. Almost as if his holding onto the pain about finding out Josh was still alive was weighing him down.
Seeing a shadow cross in front of the tent flap, John tries to peer outside, but only sees the shadow.
He hears Joey’s voice say, “Excuse me, Uncle, but I’m here to give John another canteen.”
Josh nods and leaves quickly.
Joey enters, hands the canteen over and says quietly, “I figured you could use a rescue of all the emotion, Uncle. How ya feelin?”
“All things considered, surprisingly well. Thank you for the rescue. I take it you heard everything?”
Her smile is like a rising sun in the morning dawn. “I didn’t hear anything you don’t want me to.”
John takes a deep breath. “Thank you for your discretion.” He looks at her a little more closely. “How are YOU doing, with your problem?”
Her smile fades and her look turns pensive. “As long as I don’t think about it, I’m fine. Once I start thinking . . . ” Her look goes distant.
John nods, knowingly. “The best way I’ve found to deal with it, is asking yourself, not what you’ve ended, but by doing that, who have you saved?” He lifts his hand to the side of his head, feeling a sudden pain from the back. “I guess this might be a bit much for my condition. Can you show me where the necessaries pit is? All this water is going right through me.”
She smiles and helps him to his feet saying, “This way.”
Chapter 33
John looks out over the terrain, allowing his mind to wander a bit. He thinks back on the last two days, how before they left the camp. Everyone but Sean said a prayer over the two graves of the men who were killed.
Since they left, he’s been riding point. He can’t stand the deference everyone has been treating him with, since the incident with the Peyote. The time in camp is now awkward. It’s as if everyone in the party realized they were very close to losing him and are doing their best to reassure themselves he’s still there, competent and alive. The overwhelming emotions have been driving him crazy.
As they left the camp this morning, David mentioned to John he knew exactly where they were, only a few miles from the encampment he grew up in. When John asked about the young doctor visiting his family, he said that their current mission was too important to take any side-trips. John agreed under the condition they stop by the camp once they get done with the hunt for Richard’s gang.
The path they are following takes him over a rise and he sees a bundle of something off to the side. It takes a moment for him to realize what it is that he’s looking at. He stares in dismay at the body about a hundred feet in front of him. He’s surprised to see that there aren’t any scavengers around tearing at it, but figures they may have gotten here quickly enough to keep them from getting at it.
He decides to rein in and allow the rest of the party to catch up to him at their own pace. Joey is the first to ride up and before she can ask him anything, he points to the body and indicates they need to wait for everyone else. She nods shortly, but the look on her face says she doesn’t relish the idea of waiting.
The rest of the party rides up over the rise and rein in by the two marshals. John speaks quietly with Joey and Josh a moment, before motioning David forward to see what can be done about the body.
As the two riders approach the body, John sees that it appears there haven’t been any scavengers. It looks like the body has been here for possibly a few days, at least the blood on the ground is dried and black. He sees what appears to be wagon tracks close by.
From the clothing, it looks to be an Indian. Neither John, nor David is able to see the face, until they dismount and turn the twisted corpse over.
At the first glance of the weathered face, David’s blood curdling, heart-wrenching screams pierces John to the core of his soul. He’s never heard a person make that sound before. Ever.
Tears streaming down his face, David lifts his face to the heavens and screams unintelligibly.
At the sound of the first scream, the rest of the party ride as hard as they can to their friends’ side.
Rebekah dismounts and pulls her husband to her, cradling his head against her breast, quietly speaking, trying to console him.
He clutches at her, his body now wracking with sobs.
Josh looks at John and, as quietly as possible, asks, “Who is it?”
John shakes his head and says, “I have no idea. He just turned over the body and started screaming.”
Rebekah continues speaking quietly to her husband, but he doesn’t respond until she tries to get him to stand up and move away from the body so they can examine it. When she tries to, however, David shakes his head violently and begins singing a traditional dirge in Cherokee, pulls himself away from his wife and passes his hands over the body.
It’s almost as if he’s trying to lay hands on whoever it is to try and bring him back from the dead. Like Lazarus. John looks on in wonder, trying to figure out if his young friend might be able to succeed in laying hands on the old man and bring him back.
Joey, John, Josh and Rebekah all join David in singing the dirge.
At the song’s end, the haunting melody floats out over the plains. With tears still streaming down his face, David holds out his hands over the body, raises his eyes to the heavens and, in a strong, clear voice calls out in Cherokee, “I pray You grant my grandfather the serenity and peace in death he never found in life. I pray You take him to Your bosom and nurture him for all time. I pray You forgive him his sins and I beg You to help me bring those who brought him down low to justice. In Your Son’s Name I pray, Amen.”
At hearing the young man’s prayer, John’s eyes snap open and he stares at David for several moments. In his peripheral vision, he sees everyone else do the same.
David works to maneu
ver the body and expose the wound that claimed the old man’s life. David gently opens the victim’s vest and shirt, exposing several gunshot wounds all over the trunk of his body.
John can see bloody places on the victim’s arms and legs both. Seeing the old man riddled with bullets fills John with rage. So much so, in fact, he can’t even begin to guess how David feels.
David reaches down and removes a leather pouch hanging around his grandfather’s neck. He opens it and checks inside. He nods, then hangs the small pouch about his own neck, placing it inside his shirt. He looks around, at each member of the party. “We have to take him home. We’re only a few miles away. My mother will have to be one of the ones to help prepare him for sky-burial.”
John looks at Sean and sees the young man is about to say something, but gets cut off by David saying, “I’m not asking. We either go together, or I go alone.”
John shakes his head. “There’s no need, David. We’ll go together. Right, Sean?”
Sean sighs and steps over to his horse without a word.
David looks at his wife for a moment, silent communication passing between them, then David turns to John, Joey and Josh. “I need to tell you something. This isn’t going to be a good home-coming.” He turns and looks at John directly. “I told you my mother’s husband was banished for being a drunkard, right?”
Unsure where his young friend was going with this, John nods.
“What I didn’t tell you was that the last I’d heard was, he got banished. I didn’t see it personally. He got drunk one night, came home and started beating on my mother. I was fifteen and decided I’d stood by long enough. I beat him to within an inch of his life. That was when grumpa sent me to Texas to medical school. I wasn’t quite banished myself, but it was apparent I wasn’t welcome among the tents any longer. They may not welcome me back, bearing the body of their medicine man.”
In a husky voice thick from emotion, Joey says, “I don’t blame you for beating him. He deserved it!” She crosses her arms and shakes her head. “We’re going with you, to back you up, no matter what. We really do need to get to it, though.”
Deputy at Large Page 23
