He steps up to her and in Cherokee, says, “I’m glad you agreed to come along. I think Andy will enjoy having an aunt.”
She looks at him with an expression of curiosity. She cocks an eyebrow. “Andy?”
“A waif I adopted just recently. I’ll enjoy the help with teaching her to walk the path of Grace.”
Liz’s eyes narrow. “How do you mean?” Before Jake can answer, her eyes go wide. “Are you telling me you’re a follower of Christ?”
Jake nods. “Both John and I are.”
She shakes her head in disbelief. “I—I don’t know what to say.” She shakes her head again.
“Why is that so hard to believe?”
“The way things have reversed.”
Now, it’s Jake’s turn to cock an eyebrow. “How is that?”
She shakes her head and waves the question away. “No matter. Long story. We don’t have time.”
Jake bites back his retort at her obvious evasion. Even though they grew up together, it’s been so long, he doesn’t feel he has the right in calling her out on not giving him a straight answer. He looks at David and wonders how he ever missed seeing the similarities between son and parents.
Jake motions toward the horses and says shortly, “We’re ready anytime you are.”
David nods and looks at his mother. “Are you sure you’re not forgetting anything important? We’re not coming back, so this is your last chance.”
She shakes her head. “Spotted Falcon made sure I didn’t have anything worth saving. Only things that mattered to me were the combs your father gave me, the wedding rings I got for your father and I, and the family Bible your great-grandfather gave me. Those are all here.” She pats her saddle bags. “And, I’m honestly not sure how I was able to keep all that hidden all this time, either.”
David’s look of surprise makes her chuckle. “I taught you how to read from that Bible, you recall.”
He nods, unsure. “What happened after I left?”
She shakes her head. “Later. If we’re going to make any time on the trail today, we’re going to have to leave now.”
He nods and leads the way to the rest of the party.
They stop for the night out in the middle of the windswept plain to a cold camp. The wind is blowing hard enough, John doesn’t feel it safe to have a campfire going.
Liz easily avoids all the group’s attempts at finding out anything from her personal life.
When it comes time to figure out the sleeping arrangements, Jake volunteers to stay with Sean again. He really has been starting to grow fond of the stubborn young Irishman.
Joey smiles at Liz winsomely and says, “I’ll be glad to share a tent. Sometimes things get a bit lonely in the middle of the night.”
Liz looks at the young marshal uncertainly and says, “I’m not sure how you were raised, young man, but I don’t think that would be appropriate.”
David snorts, then cringes at the hateful look his mother gives him.
Joey sighs. “I’m sorry, I forgot I haven’t told you yet.” She shakes her head in annoyance at herself. “You see, I’ll enjoy the company of another woman being in the tent.”
Liz looks at her clearly unconvinced and shakes her head. “I’m sorry, Marshal Blackwolf, but I have no idea what you mean.”
Joey sighs and shakes her head. “No, really. My name is Josephine Brouwer. I promise.”
Liz shakes her head, still unconvinced.
Joey takes a slow, deep breath and removes her hat and bandanna, exposing her lustrous long hair.
Liz gapes at the obviously feminine Marshal.
Joey nods. “I promise. This is me. The REAL me.”
Liz shakes her head. “Are any of you telling me the truth?”
Jake chuckles lightly. “Now that you mention it, I don’t go by my birth name anymore. I’ve been going by the name Jake Isaacson for more than fifteen years.”
She stares at him for a long moment, barely breathing, then says under her breath, “Unbelievable.” She turns and looks at Sean. “Let me guess, you’re a Brit.”
He snorts loudly. “Not bloody likely!”
John sighs and says, “Liz, please. Try to be reasonable. We all have our own secrets. Please try to be understanding.”
The look she returns to him is filled with nothing but daggers.
John shakes his head. “Look, we have all the time in the world to talk about this. Can’t it at least wait until the morning?”
She sighs and stalks off toward one of the tents. Ironically, it’s the same tent John’s been using. He motions to Joey, inviting her to use his tent, and with a sardonic grin, she nods and agrees.
Jake looks at his blood-brother incredulously, then chuckles. “Good luck. Good night,” then strides off to his own tent and bedroll. At the entrance to his tent, he turns to glance back and sees John staring at his own tent in obvious annoyance.
Chapter 40
The next morning, John is up before everyone else. He was awakened in the middle of the night by a dream and couldn’t get himself to settle enough to go back to sleep.
In the predawn gloom, the wind has calmed enough, he feels comfortable in starting a fire and breakfast. Everyone else in the party except Liz is quick to wake to the smells coming from his efforts.
Joey remarks that this is the first time she’s tasted his cooking and, all things considered, is impressed.
John sees how Josh stares at his blood-brother curiously throughout breakfast and after. Finally, unable to contain himself any further, Josh asks him, “Are you alright?”
John stares at him for a few moments, trying to decide how to answer that, before finally saying, “I honestly don’t know. I woke up and couldn’t get back to sleep.”
David looks at his father and asks, “Same thing as before?”
John strokes his jawline. “Yes and no. Disturbing dreams, but not like they were before.”
David’s eyes narrow, then widen as he understands. He nods. “I think I get your meaning. I’m here to talk, if you need it.”
John nods and turns to look back at Josh. “What?” he demands.
Josh just sits there expectantly for several moments, then finally says, “Were you going to tell me, or just sit there like a bump on a log?”
John looks out at the rising sun shining against clouds on the horizon and sighs, unsure how to explain this. “Everyone here except you and Liz were around as I was experiencing the nightmares. At first, I was afraid I was cracking. Then I was sure I had.” He looks at his blood-brother. “Every single one of them was either violent and bloody, or sexual. The more violent ones were always centered around you. The others, on Liz.” He crosses his arms and stares out at the horizon once again. “Come to find out, it was a certain Person trying to get through to me. Though, I’m sure I cracked a couple of times, I was still being my usual stubborn self in my refusal to accept the Gift of Grace.” He shakes his head. “Well, long story short, He got through to me and with her,” he jabs his thumb at Joey, “pa’s help, I accepted the Gift of Grace, being rid of the worst of the dreams.”
Josh whistles low. “Guess you were being exceptionally stubborn, even for you. For you to ignore Him for so long.” He shakes his head. “It’s amazing.”
John nods. “He intervened directly. In fact, only because of Him, was I able to survive a direct demonic attack.” He shakes his head at his own inability to tell a straight story. “I digress. Last night’s dream wasn’t like when He was trying to get my attention. I think it had something to do with just being along the lines of so much has been going on lately, I’m just needing some time to adjust to it, is all. Last night’s dream was quite . . . disturbing, if you know what I mean.”
“He may not, but I do.” John hears Liz’s voice behind him. “So, even after all this time, you still carry a flame for me, huh?”
John continues looking forward at Josh and, without turning around, says, “Hello, Liz. You missed out on breakfast. You slept
well, I take it?”
“Don’t you ‘hello’ me. Answer my question.”
He turns to look his former fiancé in the face. “Losing you was one of the defining moments in my life. I don’t even want to try and consider how differently things would have turned out had I not left you with your grandfather back there in Pleasant Grove.”
Her eyes fill with tears. “You’ve been mourning me all this time?”
He pours as much emotion as he can into his gaze as he nods in answer.
She gasps and, with tears streaming down her face, rushes back into the tent she shares with Joey.
John watches her retreat, his expression once more impassive. He doesn’t claim to understand any of this. Not even to himself. Whatever God’s will is in this, he has to believe it will be for the best.
John turns to look at Josh and sees compassion fill his brother’s eyes. John takes a deep breath and a moment to gather his thoughts. “Now, you see why I’ve had to fight to keep things from flying apart. Any given time or day and it goes completely sideways on me. Again.”
Josh grunts and groans as he stands up. “I understand.” He claps his hand down on John’s shoulder. “All I can say is, with a little faith and a whole lot of patience, we’ll see what God has in store for all of us. Only in His time, no matter what OUR time is.”
John takes a deep breath, not really trusting his voice yet. He stares off into the distance and nods slowly. “That’s been my hardest lesson in my walk. To learn patience. One of these days, I’ll develop something close to it. At least, I hope and pray I do.”
Josh snorts. “When you figure out how to, let me know the trick behind it. That’s something I’m still trying to figure out myself.” He waves to his blood-brother and heads back toward his tent.
John shakes his head and starts cleaning up from breakfast. At seeing a flicker of movement in his peripheral vision, he turns and sees Joey walking into the tent she shared with Liz.
Curious, he sets down the dish he was working on and steps over to where the two women are talking, just in time to hear Liz say, “I don’t believe in that foolishness anymore. I haven’t for a very long time now.”
“But you’re keeping hold of your Bible like it’s made of gold?”
“That’s the last tie I have to my family, to my life outside the tribe.”
John scratches on the tent canvas a moment before asking, “May I enter?”
“What do YOU want?” If Liz’s voice sounded anymore cross, it would be a deep-throated growl.
“Just to talk a moment.”
She sighs. “Fine. You can come in, if you want.”
He opens the tent flap and allows Joey to exit quickly.
As she’s leaving, she gives John’s shoulder a squeeze and looks him in the eye with compassion.
John enters the tent and sees his ex-fiancé sitting on her bedroll, legs crossed, hands folded in her lap, holding a kerchief.
He sits on the edge of Joey’s bedroll in much the same fashion. “I couldn’t help but overhear what you just said. Why don’t you tell me about it?”
“Tell you about what? The fact that God never stopped Spotted Falcon from taking me, or maybe that you weren’t there to protect either me or our son?” She looks away. “The last twenty-nine years have been pure hell for me.” John sees several tears drip down onto her hands. “Why weren’t you there? Why didn’t God stop him? I hate him so much! No one was there to keep him away from us!”
John can’t believe what he’s hearing. The same woman who refused to marry him without him being a Christian is now saying that she hates God? His mind is racing from the implications of what she’s said. He nods. “I can see why you’re so angry. It wasn’t until just recently that I was able to understand my pain was coming from my own anger, from my own feelings of helplessness. I kept doing things to kill that pain, but it just kept coming back. I even avenged your death on the man I thought was responsible. I did it in as painful a way as I could think of. Even then, the pain was still there.” He takes a deep breath. “The only true comfort I’ve been able to find has been in the Gift of Grace.”
Her voice is sharp as she says, “Johnny, go. Just leave.” Her voice cracks. “If you’re gonna spout that nonsense to me, just leave.”
His mind still racing, he takes a deep breath and nods again. “It looks like you really don’t wanna talk. So, when you’re ready to, know that I’m here to listen anytime you want.”
The look she gives him makes John think she’s about to slap him, but instead she sets her jaw, takes a deep breath and thinks better of it, then nods. “Fine. Do what you want. You always do anyway, don’t you?”
John takes another slow, deep breath. “I guess if that’s what you believe . . .” He stands up and moves to leave. “Just remember what I said. When you’re ready to talk, I’m here to listen.”
Without missing a beat, she says, “Go to hell.”
He shakes his head. “Sorry, but no can do. I’ve lived there more than twenty years. I’m not going back. Ever.” With that, he leaves. Once again into an uncertain future.
Chapter 41
Jake rides on point, with the rest of the group following. John and Joey are involved in a conversation about some of the finer points of law. Sean is riding behind them, in front of Liz and her family, keeping to himself. Liz, David and Rebekah are heavily involved in some discussion about what’s going to happen once they get back to Denver.
Jake enjoys taking the opportunity to gather his thoughts over what’s been happening for the last few months. So much and, most of it not very good. He can only hope to try and guess at what God has in store for him next.
He turns in the saddle and glances back at his blood-brother. Everyone in camp heard Liz rebuffing him earlier this morning. The tent canvas is too thin not to broadcast the sound far and wide.
He feels a deep sense of pity for John. This has got to be torture for him. To find out that not only your childhood best friend and confidant is still alive, but also that your long-lost love is as well, is just amazing. Jake’s surprised John’s still able to keep himself together enough to continue on this trip at all.
Jake looks at his adopted niece next. He knows she has been having her own trouble as well. Killing not just one man, but two, takes time to adjust to. Knowing she’s as gentle a soul as she is and considering the way Rebekah’s been treating her, he feels pity for her to have to go through this like she is.
Then there’s Sean. Poor guy. He’s having at best a crisis of faith, at worst an existential catastrophe of almost Biblical proportions. He wishes the young man would just talk about the problems he has, rather than bottling it all up like he is. Jake wonders why John hasn’t pursued further help for their young friend. After another moment’s consideration, he decides to ask his brother about what the planned treatment for the young Irishman is.
He turns to the other side and looks at Liz and her family. Liz’s declarations recently have made her seem to be somewhat off-balance. It’s almost like she’s expecting some new disaster every time anyone says anything. He loves her dearly all the same, but her pessimism is really beginning to wear on Jake’s nerves. He prays a quick and silent prayer that whatever is wrong with her gets healed sooner rather than later.
And of course, there’s David. Even though the young doctor is deep in discussion with his mother, he seems to be almost hovering over his beautiful, young, glowing wife.
Jake rocks in his saddle. Rebekah DOES have a glow about her. He’s just now seeing it. Then it hits him. He turns and looks back at John. “Not my news to share,” indeed.
He grins. John’s gonna be a grandfather! No wonder his oldest friend seems to be running around in circles lately.
He turns back to face the trail they’re on. After a moment of whistling tunelessly, much to Ranger’s chagrin, he pats his mount’s neck and says happily, “Well, old friend, it looks like today is going to be a good day after all!”
&nbs
p; Ranger pointedly ignores him and continues on his way.
The group stops close to noon long enough to water their horses, relieve themselves and eat a cold lunch.
During the break, Jake asks David if they were expecting a little stranger at their table soon, to which the young doctor just blushes and clears his throat.
Jake laughs and remounts Ranger, taking point again.
After a couple more miles, John rides up and asks, “Do you know this area well enough to know where we’re going?”
Jake grins and nods, pointing to the east. “East, ‘til we hit the Cimarron River, then follow it to the railroad tracks. That puts us about ten miles north of Guthrie. Easiest way to get there. Even an idiot like you can’t mess up directions like that, now can ya?”
John’s gaze goes flat. “Knowing you, you’ll find a way to make a mess out of it, though.” He turns his horse around and heads back to riding alongside Joey.
Jake chuckles. They’ve been riding at a brisk walk most of the day, so he decides to pick the pace up to a mile-eating canter.
That night, when they stop, both riders and mounts are exhausted. Jake asks John what he plans for Sean and John simply replies, “Wait ‘til Guthrie.”
They have a cold camp once again, mostly because everyone is too tired to start a fire. Thankfully, it’s a warm enough summer that a campfire isn’t really all that necessary.
Once the tents are set up and a cold supper has been eaten, everyone wordlessly seeks their bed.
It isn’t until about an hour after midnight that the chorus of coyotes wakes everyone in camp. Having felt rested enough, Jake goes ahead and starts a campfire and stays up on watch until the predawn light pushes him into making coffee and a little food for breakfast.
By mutual consent, the group packs up and rides out at first light. Jake gets the feeling everyone agrees they need to be back home as quickly as they can.
Deputy at Large Page 28
