Late that evening, the group reaches the Cimarron River. As they set up camp for the night, Jake takes a moment to gaze at the sluggishly moving river, getting lost in the sound and play of light on its surface.
Chapter 42
John awakens in a sweat after having slept only a few hours. He feels disoriented, but finally becomes aware of his surroundings.
It’s still the same night they arrived at the wooded area by the river. The sound of the water’s passage is lulling everyone to sleep. Everyone, that is, except John.
In frustration, he gets up and goes to the river’s edge to relieve his aching bladder. Once he gets done, he stares out into the darkness of the night for only God knows how long, until the snap of a twig behind him breaks him out of his reverie. He turns quickly to see Liz walking right toward him.
“Couldn’t sleep either, I take it?” Her voice is soft, comforting.
He shakes his head. “Nope. I doubt I’ll get a good night’s sleep any time soon.” He taps the side of his head with a finger. “Too much goin’ on up here.”
She nods and takes a deep breath, obviously weighing her words carefully. “Did David tell you about their news?”
John nods, then looks around for a tree to lean against. Finding one, he moves to it and motions for Liz to follow him as he leans his back against it. “So, what’s the real reason you came out here? Surely it’s not because you’re feeling restless.”
She shakes her head. “I wanted to talk to you, without everyone else listening in.”
He nods. “I’d figured as much. What was it you wanted to talk about?”
In the moonlight, as a slight breeze blows through the trees, John watches the chill in the air make goose-bumps rise on her arms. He has to fight the urge to wrap his arms around her to warm her up as she rubs her hands up and down her upper arms, calming the goose-bumps back down.
“Were you telling the truth earlier about having direct divine intervention when you were being spiritually attacked?”
John studies her beautiful face a moment before nodding slowly. “That and more. Why you ask?”
She takes a shuddering breath and turns her back to him. “What makes YOU so special? Why would He save you and not me?” She starts trembling and crying silently.
John steps up to her and places a comforting hand on her shoulder. This time, instead of snapping at him, she just puts her hand over his, accepting the offer of comfort.
John breathes slowly, against the rising emotion and temptation. Quietly, he says, “I don’t try to guess at His purpose. I just try to go with it. Whatever it is that happens, He has a plan. Even if I don’t know what it is, I trust in Him.”
She continues crying silently for several more moments, before she says in a cracking voice, “I know why He didn’t think I was worthy enough. It’s because I refused to allow myself be with child anymore after David was born. Any time Spotted Falcon took me, I would always take a potion just after, that would put me deeply into my cycle.”
John is stunned, but does his best to hide it. “Why did you marry him if he was so repulsive?”
She laughs a shuddering laugh and shakes her head, then wipes away her tears. “We never married. From the time he bought me from the red-legs on, I was his slave.”
Now, John can’t hide his shock. “Does David know?”
She shakes her head. “You may not know it, but he has your temper. If he knew Spotted Falcon owned me, David wouldn’t have just beat him. He would have killed him.” She crosses her arms and stares out into the night. “At first, every time Spotted Falcon took me, I would cry out to God to make him stop. When I did, Spotted Falcon would laugh and say that he would stop when God made him. He never stopped. Eventually, the tears dried and I stopped praying.” She gasps in pain as John grips her shoulder tightly.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do that.” John lets go, moves to stand next to her and stares out into the night. Conversationally, he says, “I’m glad The Almighty hasn’t given me the power of resurrection. I’d be too tempted to use it to bring that animal back, just so I could kill him again.” He clenches his fists, but keeps them at his side.
She lets loose another shuddering laugh. “I’d like to see that. My only regret about that is I didn’t get to watch as he was killed. I’m sure I would enjoy that immensely.”
While John’s a bit surprised at what she’s saying, he fully understands the sentiment. He smirks at her. “Had I known you were still alive, I’d have let you watch.”
She laughs a little more and says, “You’re horrible.” She turns and looks him in the eye. “Did you mean what you said about going crazy?”
He nods. “During the war, I fought alongside the First Cherokee Mounted Rifles. They called me ‘Blood Eagle’ because of my brutality. None that stood against me were spared.”
She gasps. “YOU led the Red Hand? Oh, my.” She looks away. “Spotted Falcon always cursed you for all the deaths he said you caused. He even convinced Strong Bear to have you banished.”
The ghosts of the past dance through John’s eyes for several long moments. “I’m not surprised. The more I hear about Spotted Falcon, the more I learn to dislike him. I’m glad he didn’t influence David any more than he did.”
Liz huffs and starts to walk away, but turns and says, “I did my best to raise him like I thought you would,” then turns and walks back toward the tent she shares with Joey.
John stares after her for a while. His emotions are in such a state of disarray, he’s surprised the sound the whirlwind makes doesn’t wake everyone in camp. He whispers a quiet prayer for strength, peace and understanding in these troubled times.
After several more moments, he wanders back to his tent, praying he can get some sleep this interminably long night.
Chapter 43
The warmth of the sun on his face is enough to make John scrabble and scrape his way out of the darkest depths of sleep.
He opens his eyes slowly, squinting at the blinding glade of the sun lancing into his brain. Normally the smell of Rebekah’s cooking would make his mouth water. Today, however, it’s making his head swim and his stomach do somersaults.
He rubs his jaw, feeling the rough stubble move against his fingertips. He thinks quickly as he can, remembering that he’s not had anything with alcohol to drink for awhile now. Now that he thinks of it, he didn’t have much water to drink recently either.
He groans and tries to sit up. His head starts swimming even more, so he lays back down and quietly prays for it to end. Either the pain to stop, or for someone to just kill him.
Finally, he rolls over and gets on his hands and knees. He groans and manages to sit back on his heels, facing away from the opening of the tent.
Quietly, David’s voice comes from behind him asking, “What’s wrong with you?”
“No alcohol, but this is one of the worst hangovers I’ve had in years.”
David grunts in understanding. “Be right back.”
John holds his head in his hands, on the verge of tears for several minutes, before hearing footsteps behind him. “Oh, I hope you’ve brought me some poison to make this stop.”
Liz’s voice is sharp as she says, “Poison? No. Just water. David says you’re not completely healed after the peyote. What’s he mean by that?”
John groans, wishing she wouldn’t speak so loud. “I was exposed to something that made me very sick.”
“Oh. Well, he says you’re not allowed to leave this tent, until you drink this entire canteen.” John feels the canteen pressing against the right side of his chest as she passes it over his shoulder. She puts her left hand on his other shoulder compassionately and says, “Drink, it’ll help. Trust me.”
He groans again, but takes the canteen and sips from it. Once the water hits his stomach, John has to fight to keep from immediately vomiting it back up. He sips a little more, this time, gingerly. Liz grasps his shoulder gently, leans in and whispers in his ear, “Drink up.
You’ve got a lot to do. Be careful.”
John feels more than hears her leave to rejoin everyone else. He continues taking small sips and thinks about how her attitude toward him has changed in the last day.
Thankfully, it takes him less than a quarter of an hour to drain the canteen down his parched throat. By the time he’s done with it, his head isn’t hurting anywhere near as badly as it was, just a few minutes earlier.
He leaves the tent quickly and finds a good tree away from the rest of the camp to allow all the water he just drank to flow through him. Once he’s done taking care of the call of nature, he goes to the river bank and refills the canteen with river water.
As he heads back to the camp, continuing to sip at the water, he’s surprised to see Joey approaching, looking at him archly.
“Did you two have a nice conversation last night?”
John looks at her sharply. “What did you hear?”
She shakes her head. “Nothing. She woke me, leaving our tent and I saw her talking to you in the tree-line. When she came back in, she quietly cried herself back to sleep.” Joey sighs and crosses her arms. “Now, you sleep in and are acting weird. You’ll understand why I’m concerned.”
John stops walking and runs his hand through his hair. “I’m not the one to tell her story. She told me how she lost her faith.” He looks out toward the horizon. “This morning had nothing to do with our having chatted last night.”
She cocks an eyebrow. “Are you sure?”
He nods. “I don’t have any reason to lie to you. Trust me.”
She huffs. “Alright. Can I do anything to help?
“If she wants to talk, listen. If she says something unexpected, don’t judge, just support.” He looks directly at his beautiful adopted niece’s face. “I can’t guarantee that she will, but if she chooses to, just listen to her. Please?”
Without hesitation, she nods, but looks at John seriously. “Why do I have the feeling you’re going to get me in trouble?”
John smirks wryly at her. “Now, why would I ever do that to you? You being my favorite niece and all.”
“You mean your only niece.” Her snort is derisive. “You would in an instant, don’t give me that.” She waves the comment away. “I’ll help her when and where I can. I was planning on doing that anyway. She just hasn’t been giving me the chance to.”
John nods. “I don’t know that she ever will, either. It’s just a feeling that she may seek you out before this is all said and done is all.”
She sighs and nods. “Fair enough. How are you feeling?”
John runs his hand through his hair again. “I’ve been better. I’m pretty sure I’ll survive, though.” He takes another swig of water. “Just wish I’d known to expect this. That headache this morning was murder.”
“I’d hate to say this, but it was well after noon that David came in and checked on you.”
John looks at her in surprise. “But the smell of breakfast is part of what woke me.”
Joey shakes her head. “No, Uncle. That was lunch. I promise.”
John shakes his head in aggravation. “I hate it when I lose time like that. What all have I missed?”
She shakes her head. “Just your son saying to let you sleep is all.”
He nods, glad nothing major happened. “So, I take it, we’re gonna be staying here for another couple of days, then?”
She nods. “Though most everyone will be glad to get home, I thought it best we make sure we all get there in one piece.”
John nods and they make the rest of the trip back to camp in silence, each left to their own thoughts.
Chapter 44
After John and Joey returned to the campsite, John wolfed down so much food, Jake was surprised he didn’t vomit it back up.
The whole time his father was eating, David sat there with an expression that could best be described as inscrutable. After John finishes his third plate of food, he leans back, groaning and complaining he ate too much of Rebekah’s great food. David nods and clears his throat meaningfully.
All of the quiet conversation that had been going on quickly ceases as everyone turns their attention to the young doctor.
He looks around at each person for a moment, before resting his gaze lovingly on his wife. Quietly, he says, “My wife and I would like to make an announcement.” He looks around again. “We consider each of you a member of our family. That family is growing bigger. I expect close to the beginning of the year, we will be joined by a new little stranger.”
John’s grin is wide as he says to his son, “Thanks for announcing that. I was having trouble not ruining the surprise for everyone.” He looks at Jake a moment and says, “That was the news I couldn’t tell you the other day, you know.”
Jake nods. “I’d figured it out myself, but thanks for coming clean about it.”
Joey smiles wide. “Congratulations, you two. I’m glad The Almighty has blessed you in your love.”
Rebekah’s expression flickers darkly for a flash of a moment, then she smiles as well. “Thank you. I pray I can be half as good a mother as my own has been all these years. Then I know I’ll be doubly blessed.”
Sean looks from David to Rebekah, then back to David. “Well, I kin tell ya dunnae like tha d’rink, but w’hen we get back ta Norman, I t’hink it high time ta hoist a pint in yer honor.”
David’s wide grin is cheesy. “Normally, I don’t like drinking. But, I think I’ll take you up on the offer, that is, once we get back to Norman.”
Sean grins and nods, then his expression slides back into the grim look he’s been wearing lately. It’s almost as if, for just that one moment, that one ray of sunshine was able to break through the storm clouds of his despair.
Jake looks at John and asks a question with his expression. His brother shares a look for a moment with him, then nods. This is a part of what he was expecting then.
He looks back to David and Rebekah, then smiles. “Well, now that Andy’s part of the family, I bet she’ll enjoy having a cousin to play with.”
Joey scoffs as she looks at Jake. “What am I, Uncle? Chopped liver?”
Jake looks at Joey for a moment and shakes his head. “Are you kidding? You’re old enough to be Andy’s mother. I’m saying at least she’ll have a cousin closer to her own age.”
Joey sighs. “I guess you’re right. Even still . . .”
John strokes his jaw-line. “That does make a good point. This kid’s gonna have a lot of cousins. I mean, what about Red-Feather and Heart-of-Falcon’s kids? Or Silver Moon’s? What about Aisling’s?”
David holds his hand up and chuckles. “Okay, Okay. Your point is well taken. I’m glad most of these cousins are gonna be in spitting distance. Especially since we’re planning on staying in Denver.”
Jake’s not sure what he expected David to say, but that wasn’t it. He looks at Liz, trying to decipher her expression. As he glances at her, he sees where she’s sitting. Everyone’s seated in a rough circle around the campfire, chatting companionably.
Of course David and Rebekah are next to each other. To David’s left is Joey, then Sean. Then there’s Jake. To Jake’s left, almost halfway across the fire, is John. Sitting between John and his daughter in law, is Liz. She seems to be sitting rather closely to John. Almost toughing.
Jake looks at the body language of the two and almost laughs. How easily they fall back into the pattern of familiarity without even realizing they’re doing it.
He shakes his head. I hope they get their act together soon.
John looks at David. “Be glad your child will have loving parents growing up.” He motions toward Jake and Liz. “We didn’t have that luxury.”
David nods sagely. “You’ve told me about it. I never knew mom was the one you told me about.” He shakes his head. “I never knew she could do some of those things you told me about.”
Liz grins at her son. “Oh, there’s things about me you have no idea.”
David looks at his mot
her a moment, then bursts out laughing. “You know what? You’re right. There’s times I feel like I know John better than I know you.”
John nods. “I have very few secrets. With me, what you see is what you get.”
Now, it’s Jake’s turn to laugh. “Yup! Old, mean, crotchety man that you are.”
With that, everyone laughs, even Sean.
Chapter 45
John looks out at the setting sun, lost in thought. Behind him, a crack of leaf, then a slight shuffle. He turns his head slightly, to see who’s approaching in his periphery.
Liz hesitantly reaches toward him, almost as if she’s unsure how the gesture will be taken.
Quietly, John asks, “You alright?”
“Mmhmm. I was gonna ask you the same.” She crosses her arms.
“Just remembering.” He looks back at the sunset. “This is a habit I started years ago. It gives me the chance to see beauty in the world where, for the longest time, there was none.”
She steps up beside him. “I never knew you were so romantic.” She takes his arm and leans into it. “That was almost poetic.”
He looks down at her seriously. “I started it when I lost the only true beauty in my life.”
She hums in pleasure and leans her head against his arm. “Do you see beauty in the world now?”
He nods. “I see it in all of God’s creations, now.” He looks deeply in her eyes. “Especially here, especially now.”
He sees a welter of emotions pass through her eyes, each one ending in another tear. She looks away, trembling and crying, silently. “You don’t know how long I’ve waited to hear those words.” She sniffles and wipes her eyes with her free hand.
John looks down at the hand clutching his arm. “You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to say it.”
Her crying intensifies. He looks at her face. All the memories come flooding back, painful as the day he first felt them and he continues to watch the clouds moving from southwest to northeast. He watches as the plains are painted blood-red in the last blast of the sun as it dips below the horizon.
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