by A Lonergan
Something was up and I wasn’t sure if it was my place to dig or not.
Jade shook her head as she followed Tracey out. She didn’t strip off of her cover-up, much to my disappointment. She hadn’t taken it off all day and I could tell it was starting to wear on her. She didn’t look comfortable at all but I didn’t know how to bring it up. Sleeping next to her had been torture, all I had wanted to do was ravish her but I knew she needed comfort or just someone to be there in case a nightmare threatened her again. I could do that forever if I needed to, but it was going to be extremely difficult to continue to keep my hands to myself. She needed me emotionally available and I didn’t have the slightest clue how to be that for her.
Chapter 16
Jade
Three days at the beach was something I had never dreamed would happen. Everything was going great besides Knox and Tracey trying to kill each other with their hands or their words. She still hadn’t brought a guy back to the house and for whatever reason, I was thankful for that. I didn’t know if I could handle another guest especially with the thoughts of my nightmares invading again. Rafe had only slept in my bed that one night but I found myself missing him. I didn’t tell him and I certainly didn’t express it to Tracey even though she teased me about it relentlessly every morning when I woke up moody and disappointed.
Tracey had a mouthful of sandwich when she told me we were going to go out dancing later that night. She wiped the mustard from the corner of her lips on the back of her hand then took a sip from her Sprite. “You need to wear something hot and ditch the cover-up.”
I rolled my eyes. “I’ll get rid of the cover-up but I have a sweater packed.”
Her shoulders slumped. “Why do you insist on covering your perfect beautiful body?”
I knew she meant well but the well of emotions rose up inside of me before I could stop them. “You don’t get to tell me what to do or wear. You have no idea what it’s like for me to parade my scars around, the stares I will get. I can’t face them, how can I let others?”
Tears threatened my eyes and I stood up from my bench. The legs on it made a hard screeching noise as they slid across the floor. Tracey looked startled from my outburst and put her sandwich on the plate. She wiped her hands on a paper towel and blinked slowly. “You’re right, I don’t know what it’s like. But you keep telling everyone you’re fine and you won’t go to therapy. How am I supposed to know what to do or say around you about it? All I want for you is to have a good time.” The color had drained from her face.
I shook my head as I backed down the hall to my room. To my escape. “I’m not ready to talk to anyone about what happened to me and you can’t force me to be comfortable with something that is still raw within myself.”
As much as I wanted to slam the door closed behind me, I shut it softly and slid down it. The floor was cold beneath my hands but I hardly felt it as the tears spilled over. Tracey meant well, I knew she did. She cared about me more than others did but that didn’t mean that it didn’t hurt. That didn’t mean that it made me feel comfortable all of a sudden to show all of my hurt to the world. I didn’t know if I would ever be okay with it.
Sobs shook my body as I wrapped my arms around my knees and tucked my chin between them. Tracey didn’t bother me even after my tears had dried and I sat there in the dark. A soft knock on the door pulled me from my daydreaming about nothing. I blinked the haze from my eyes and took a deep breath. I was surprised to find that it was Mav on the other side of the door instead of Tracey.
As soon as the door was open, Mav had me in his arms, crushed against his chest. The tears threatened my eyes again but I managed to blink them back. He rubbed circles on my back as he held me there. His heartbeat was loud against my face. Strange but soothing all at the same time. My shoulders relaxed with each beat.
“I’m not here to tell you that you need to feel a certain way,” he whispered. “I am here to tell you that everything that you’re feeling is valid and it’s going to take a long time for you to feel like you’re back to normal. It might never happen, but that’s okay too. You aren’t the same woman.” He pushed me to an arm’s length away from him and looked into my eyes. “You are wonderful, even with your scars. You are beautiful with them. They show the world that you are stronger. I am not telling you that you should be ready to show them off, but when you are ready, we will all be here cheering for you. We love you, scars and all.” His thumb caught a tear on my cheek.
By the end of the day, Tracey wasn’t scowling as much and Knox was avoiding her. I wondered what she did to have caused that. I never stopped thinking about what Mav told me. The cover-up didn’t make another appearance even though it called out to me from my suitcase. The shorts I slipped into felt a little snug, but they didn’t feel any different from the previous years of wearing them. My eyes were squeezed shut as I pulled them up my legs, but at least I got them on. It was a start. The tank top was a bit harder to pull over my head but once it was settled over me, it felt comfortable. I felt like myself again, except I wouldn’t look at my arms or legs. When Tracey saw me come out of the room, she had opened her mouth to say something then snapped it closed.
The argument we had gotten into was silly, though valid. I didn’t want her to think she couldn’t speak her mind around me but maybe doing so in a softer manner would have helped. Rafe was lounging on the couch but his scowl in Tracey’s direction told me everything I needed to know. He was here to play ref and he wasn’t going to let my friend talk to me like that again. His eyes softened when they landed on me and he quickly sat up.
“You are allowed to wear whatever you want to,” he said in an accusatory tone directed at Tracey. “But I do love seeing all of your skin on display.”
Tracey rounded the counter and wrapped her arms around me. My body stiffened at the contact. She pulled away slowly. “He’s right, you are allowed to wear whatever you want. If you want to wear a sweatshirt tonight, that’s fine by me. I just want you to feel comfortable and you’ve been looking close to heatstroke.”
Rafe watched the interaction between us before he nodded his head and slipped through the back doors. I didn’t want him to go but I was appreciative of the privacy he was offering us.
Tracey ran her hands down over my arms. This time she didn’t avoid the silver skin. She just ran her hands over the marking and didn’t miss a beat. She didn’t blink and her face didn’t change. Nalia was pleased that her scent hadn’t changed either. “Like Mav said, you’re beautiful and that’s the only thing that you need to worry about. I’m sure if anyone looks at you or your scars in the wrong way Knox will rip their hearts out and eat them.”
He would too. A smile cracked on my face and she pulled me in for a hug. “Plus, these people won’t even know it’s you. You have been glamoured to look like someone else to the people outside of our pack.”
“Do you think Granny made me ugly?” I took a peek down at my body.
“Never, she only manipulates little things. Your hair color, the size of your nose. Things like that.”
I nodded my head. I could be okay with that. “Are you ready?”
Tracey grinned. “Yeah, I’m really needing a good lay. Knox has my head all messed up.”
Chapter 17
Jade
The guys stayed away from us as we danced and ate. Tracey couldn’t go to a bar or a club without tasting the food. She also couldn’t help herself and had to order the biggest margarita they offered. The bartender was sweating bullets when he brought the drink over to her. She eyed him with suspicion. “I hope this is to your liking.”
He stood and waited for her to take a drink out of her straw. Her reputation had followed her all over this town. Knowing Tracey, it would probably follow her home if we weren’t careful. She took a long drag on the straw and her gaze became appreciative. “It’s not the best I’ve ever had,” Her eyes found Knox on the other side of the room. The Guardians and Rafe had taken up the darkest corner in the place.
“But, it’s pretty damn good. The best I’ve had in the last three days.”
At those words, the bartender's shoulders relaxed. He looked like his soul was about to leave his body. “Just please give us a good review on your food blog.”
My head snapped in her direction. “Food blog?”
Tracey shrugged. “It’s new. I didn’t think it would take off so quickly. Just something little I’ve done to occupy myself since I’m no longer working on your house.”
I leaned back in my chair and smirked. Of course, she had a food blog. No wonder she had ripped all of those other restaurants to shreds. “I haven’t seen you on a phone once since I got back.”
Tracey rolled her eyes as the straw hung out of her mouth. “That’s because Rafe doesn’t like cellphone usage on Pack Lands. I use my laptop and my cellphone I use to keep in touch with you.”
“How do you talk to other friends?”
Tracey shrugged at my question. “I don’t have that many friends.”
I took a sip out of my water and watched the guys. Rafe had a stoic look on his face as a waitress went to take their order. None of the other tables got the kind of attention she was giving them. Though I didn’t blame her, none of the other tables had the hottest men sitting at them either. Archer was ogling the girl’s breasts and Mav was grinning like a hyena. I rolled my eyes. Knox looked absolutely bored as he looked around the room, which wasn’t like him at all. He was usually the life of the party.
The bartender brought me another water and I leaned forward. “Can we request songs?”
He shrugged. “I don’t usually allow it,” His eyes flicked to Tracey nervously. “But I will make an exception for tonight. What would you like to hear?”
I leaned forward and whispered in his ear. I could feel Rafe’s eyes on me as I got close to the other man. He wasn’t fond of this but he was curious. I could practically smell it in the air. The bartender scrunched his nose but walked away to the DJ’s station.
Juice by Lizzo thumped through the speakers a few minutes later. A grin split Knox’s face. He was in the inside of the booth tucked up against the wall and practically crawled over Rafe and Gabriel to get out to the dance floor. His eyes held suspicion when they looked at us but all I could do was smile. This was his jam.
There were no white boy moves as his hips started rolling and he started singing at the top of his lungs. His dancing encouraged others to get on the floor and pretty soon, he had an entire fleet of women surrounding him. Tracey looked at him briefly with some annoyance but she couldn’t mask her scent. She was pleased. I snorted and she rolled her eyes.
“I can appreciate a good dancer, okay?”
I couldn’t help but shake my head. Archer was the next one up dancing with him except he had all the white boy moves. There wasn’t a bit of rhythm in his bones but he danced all the same. It took no time for Mav to get up next while Gabriel and Rafe looked on with amusement.
“You know how to get a party started,” Tracey muttered as she took the last sip of her margarita. Besides Knox’s, she hadn’t finished a single one at any of the restaurants she had dragged me to.
When the song ended, girls flocked to Knox like he was a celebrity. They touched his muscles and his face. Tracey’s lips twisted in disgust before she turned back to the bar. She had turned down every single man that had approached her since we had arrived. Another candidate approached and I winced, waiting for her to rip him to shreds when she grinned.
“The margaritas are pretty good,” I heard her tell him. “Yes, I would love another!”
Rafe watched us with amusement and Knox was scowling as he marched back to the table. The music playing was still good and I expected the Guardian to stay out longer, especially with Mav and Archer getting all the girls now. He threw himself into the booth and crossed his arms over his chest like a toddler having a temper tantrum. His bottom lip even jutted out slightly. Tracey leaned forward and ran her hand down the guy’s defined bicep. He wasn’t as good-looking as the men that lived on the Pack Lands with us, but for a human…
No. Nalia said in my mind. Not a human. Recently turned Vampire.
My mouth opened to warn Tracey when Nalia snapped it closed. She knows what he is. She has better scent control than we do. She’s doing it to torment the wolf.
I wondered if she meant Knox but lately, she had hated Knox more than anything. I didn’t ask Nalia about it and she didn’t clarify, which I was fine with. It was none of my business as long as they could get along for the sake of the pack and our friendship. But, I also couldn’t lie, their animosity was rather entertaining.
Before I knew it, the vampire had his lips on Tracey’s and she was drinking him in like he was another margarita. She tore her lips away from his face long enough to speak to me over her shoulder. “Do not wait up.” They were out of the bar in seconds, their hands roving all over each other. The bartender blinked and I paid her tab.
“That’s the fastest hookup I think I have ever witnessed,” His mouth gaped open.
I shrugged. “She works fast. She’s been waiting the last three days for that.”
A murderous expression had replaced Knox’s annoyed tantrum. Rafe’s eyes were blazing and Gabriel was shaking his head at me. I frowned. I did nothing wrong. Mav and Archer were still oblivious to what had just happened at the bar and what was happening back at their booth. Maybe they were mad that Tracey had left me alone but technically she hadn’t.
“Do you know those guys?” The bartender cleaned a glass in front of me then he pushed his wireframe glasses up his nose. He was a cute little thing. His dark hair flopped over his forehead in a charming kind of way. His body was long and thin. He wasn’t the typical bartender but he had his own charm.
I nodded. “Yeah, they’re staying near our beach house. We have seen them a few times when we have gone out.” I didn’t know if it was smart to give up the part that we were traveling together. I didn’t know how different we actually looked to the rest of the world. I couldn’t risk it.
“Good, I didn’t want to have to call security on them. One of them is staring at you like you’re his next meal.” The bartender’s cheek turned pink as he realized what he had said.
Rafe’s eyes were glowing gold now and I wondered what had happened to make him act this way. Maybe he had scented the vampire too.
Oh, he definitely did. Nalia purred with approval in my head.
Mav shimmied his way to me at the bar and held his hands out to me. I put my little hands in his much bigger ones and he pulled me from the stool. He spun me around on the floor before he pulled me to his chest. The song was a slower one and I was surprised he had beat Rafe to me. My heart sank slightly. Except, Rafe wasn’t a dancer. It made sense that Mav had beaten him because he had probably never planned to sweep me off of my feet. Which was fine, I didn’t want him to be something that he wasn’t but I did like to dance. I didn’t know why I hadn’t gotten on the floor before then. My body moved to the slow beat and I sighed.
“They’re all pissed at Tracey, by the way.” He dipped me back briefly before he pulled me back up.
“Because she took a vampire home?” I didn’t understand the animosity toward the other creature.
He sucked his cheek in. “Yeah, we tend to stay away from their kind.”
This was news to me. “Okay?”
“Our races went to war a couple hundred years ago. Some of the vampires and wolves still haven’t gotten over it. I don’t know why but they refuse to play nice still to this day. Bars and clubs are usually neutral ground for all races to intermingle. Rafe is just angry that she chose a vampire to get back at Knox with.”
“Wait, what?”
Mav puffed his cheeks out. “After you and Tracey got into it today and we were talking…” He paused and pinched his lips together. “Tracey went after Knox and they got into a massive fight. She told him that she didn’t know why he came back at all and he should have stayed gone. I don’t know what happ
ened between them but she just screamed in his face that she wished he would disappear. We all know she was speaking out of her anger but all it made Knox do was retaliate back. He smiled at her and told her that he would love nothing more than to eat her heart.”
A snort escaped me. “Oh, I’m sure that went well.”
Mav grimaced. “She threw sand in his eyes like a damn child.”
I pulled my hand out of his to run it down my face in horror. “You’re lying. No wonder he avoided her for the rest of the day. But why would she still be trying to get back at him? She’s the one that threw sand in his face.”
Mav shrugged. “It’s only a theory. She turned down every single guy in here until Knox got on the floor to dance.”
He was right. I knew that was her angle. I had seen it on her face. She hated how much fun he was having. I hoped she got what she was looking for.
Chapter 18
Jade
Sleep didn’t come to me as I waited for Tracey to get back that night. I had danced my feet off on that dance floor with Mav and Archer. Gabriel and Rafe looked like they were merely playing the role of bodyguards. It was extremely annoying and I hoped with every song that came on that Rafe would get up to dance with me. He stayed rooted in the booth. Knox had simply drowned himself in the dumpster nachos and frozen margaritas for the rest of the night. On the way home I heard him mutter something about needing wolfsbane to get through an aching in his chest. Mav smacked him on the back and they both scowled at each other.
I left the lamp on beside the couch as I thumbed through one of the books I had packed. I had once loved reading but between school and getting kidnapped, I couldn’t find much to enjoy these days. The book was good but my mind was somewhere else. It was with Tracey wherever she was getting her booty call. We were in the middle of a war brewing. Why had I been so accepting of her getting laid? I should have been more careful. I should have thought it all through some more. But here I was waiting up till two in the morning, worried sick about her.
