by A Lonergan
Knox shivered with her warning. “We only wanted to give Jade the opportunity to eat before you came up here and gobbled all her breakfast down.”
Tracey lifted a brow. “I would suggest you both leave. You can stand outside of the door for all I care. She doesn’t need either of you. She needs me and possibly Rafe but he’s too worried about his wolf to be here right now. You should both be worried that he can break through the barrier any second now and spoil all of the plans you made.”
Knox and Gabriel looked at each other before they nodded in unison. “You’re right, he’s going to screw all of this up if we aren’t careful.”
They were gone in a flash.
“Is it that bad?” I asked as I looked down at the tray full of food.
Tracey looked away from me. “The bruising or your mate?”
“Uh, both?”
My best friend ran her hand down her face. “Both are pretty bad.” She shuddered. “He used magic so your body can’t heal at its normal rate and Rafe’s wolf is fighting him.”
“Over what?” I picked the bacon back up.
“Over claiming you. His wolf wants to claim you now and then hunt Damian. He’s struggling with his human side. He doesn’t want to hurt you, especially when you’ve already been hurt enough.” Tracey swallowed hard. “Hurt by him and Damian.”
I didn’t say anything and instead chewed on the bacon. It still didn’t taste like anything but it was better than talking at the moment. I didn’t want to dump all of my emotions out. I didn’t want to speak about these things with her. I wanted to speak to Rafe but he was too caught up to be here.
It took Rafe six hours to face me. His clothes were shredded and there were claw marks on his arms. I sat up as he came through the door. The book I had been reading was completely forgotten about as I tossed it to the side. “Are you okay?”
He wouldn’t look at me as he walked into the closet. My stomach clenched as I thought of my underwear in there but I quickly tried to ignore those feelings because it was most certainly not the time. Rafe came out of the closet with new clothes but his body was still shredded.
His wolf fought for the change. Nalia spoke inside of my head.
Nice of you to join me again after an entire day of radio silence.
She snickered. I figured you needed time to yourself. What you have gone through is traumatic enough. You needed to be alone with your thoughts. You need to figure these things out for yourself.
Rafe wouldn’t look at me as he settled into the chair Gabriel had lounged in earlier that morning. “My wolf was being stubborn.”
“Do you need to go see Carden or maybe Granny? They could probably speed the healing process along.”
He shook his head. “No, these are physical reminders that my wolf can’t take control like that.”
“How did you get them?” I could imagine him fighting himself for control.
His words surprised me. “We went to the training grounds and I fought Mav and Knox. It was the only way my wolf would settle down.”
My eyebrows inched up my forehead as I sat up straighter in the bed. My back ached with the movement. “They did that to you?”
He smirked and his eyes closed. “Yes, I had to beg them to do something. They didn’t want to fight me and mentally it was hard on them but something had to be done. I couldn’t march right to battle on my own. That would have gotten me killed, or worse.”
It was on the tip of my tongue to ask what could possibly be worse than being killed but we were talking about Damian here. Damian wouldn’t kill him. He would use Rafe.
“What did you do today?” I wondered if he was just trying to make conversation so we didn’t sit in awkward silence or if he was actually wondering what I did. On the nightstand was a stack of books Lucas had delivered me after I had eaten all of the breakfast… with Tracey’s help of course.
“I read a little bit,” I bit my lip. I didn’t get out of bed once or change. I was still in my pajamas from the night before and I was certain I needed to take a brush to my hair.
His eyes slid open and he watched me with a lazy expression. “I didn’t know you liked to read.”
A smile stretched across my lips. “I didn’t know that either. Lucas insisted and turns out, he has great taste in books. I had no idea what I was missing out on before.”
Rafe shook his head. “I hate reading.”
I wasn’t surprised. I hadn’t met many men that did like reading. But then again, I had always been attracted to the bad boys. I didn’t know a single bad boy that cared for school or learning academically.
He watched me for a little bit before he stood up and walked to the bathroom. I found the forgotten book and settled into the pillows again to enjoy the words until Rafe peeked his head out of the double doors. His eyes caught on the book before they moved up to my face.
“Tracey brought some of your things by downstairs.” He emerged from the bathroom and the scent of vanilla swirled in the air. “While I go get them and start on dinner, why don’t you take a bath and relax?”
The scent of his nervousness wrapped up in the scent of vanilla. A smile pulled at the corners of my lips as I untangled myself from the blankets and stood up. My legs shook under my own weight and an ache settled beneath my knees. Maybe a bath would be perfect. Rafe took that opportunity to slip from the room as I got my footing back.
The scent of vanilla grew stronger as I opened the doors to the bathroom. A gasp escaped my lips. The white claw-foot tub was filled to the rim with bubbles and a tray stretched across the middle of it. A bottle of water sat on one end and a place to set a book was on the other.
Where had he gotten a bottle of water?
My eyes searched the white marble counters that were full of brand new candles. The candlelight reflected in the mirror and cast a soft glow around the room. A small chandelier hung above the tub and behind the tub were two open doorways that probably led to a shower. During all the time I had spent here recovering before, I had never seen the master bathroom. It had felt too personal and private. I had instead used the bathroom in the hall, thinking it would give me some kind of space between the Alpha and me. How wrong I had been.
With the book tucked beneath my arm, I turned the lights off and marveled at the beautiful work Rafe had done here. He had remodeled this home to absolute perfection. If we were to be mated… this would be my home. It was magnificent and I could hardly imagine using this space daily.
I wondered what the rest of the house looked like and made a mental note to ask for a tour. I was in awe. A vanity ended the counter on the left side of the bathroom. Right beneath the right side of the cabinets was a little wine fridge. My parents had a similar one in their outdoor kitchen. This one was filled with champagne, canned drinks, and bottles of water. My eyes kept going back to the champagne though. What would he need that for here?
My mouth soured as I thought of the other women that had probably been entertained in this area. Of course, a bachelor would need champagne for dates. I grabbed the bottle of water from the tray and downed it in a few swallows. I tossed the empty bottle into the trash can and unbuttoned my jammies.
A thought hit me square in the feels. It didn’t matter that he had other dates here or women. I was far from innocent myself. I had dated Carden, even though Rafe knew I was his fated mate. I had taken many to the back seat of my car and hotels. How could I get sick over not even knowing something but making assumptions? The soft cotton clothes pooled at my feet as I grabbed the book from the vanity and settled into the water. My eyes closed before I tried to find the page I had left off.
Chapter 30
Rafe
I had always prided myself on the fact that I wasn’t a nervous person. I had always wined and dined dates well. I had cooked for many women. But this felt different, especially since Jade was my mate. It was hard enough cooking while I had to imagine her upstairs, naked in my tub. There was nothing more distracting than that. Mav watched me
from the other side of the kitchen.
“I don’t know how you are so calm right now,” He sipped on a beer.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I tried to keep my voice even.
“Your mate is upstairs naked in your bathroom, in a bubble bath, I would presume. She was just attacked last night and you’re down here making dinner.”
The steaks popped and sizzled in the pan as I flipped them. The potatoes were in the oven and would be ready any minute. A salad was already tossed and prepared on the counter. “Thanks for the reminder,” I growled.
Mav shrugged his huge shoulders. “I was just saying. I don’t know what it’s like to have a mate but I feel like you’re not acting fast enough.”
My fangs pierced my bottom lip. “She was just attacked last night, Mav. The last thing she needs is her horny mate going up there and ravishing her. Or better yet, her horny mate that has very little control over his wolf right now.”
Mav coughed into a closed fist and nodded his head. “Okay, you make a fair point.”
“That would push her away for good. She hasn’t been in this community long enough to know what this means. I’m thankful she has accepted me as her mate even though everything I did was wrong by humanity’s standards.” I stabbed my fork into one of the steaks and deposited it onto a plate beside the stove. I waited a few seconds before I did the same to the other. The water kicked off upstairs and my eyes shot to the suitcase sitting at the end of the bar. “Make sure the potatoes don’t burn, okay?”
I grabbed her bag and took the stairs two at a time. She was exiting the bathroom as I was entering the bedroom. I stopped short and looked away. She was wrapped in a towel but it was enough to send my wolf into a frenzy again. Her blonde hair was wrapped in another towel that looked entirely too big for her head.
“I brought you the clothes Tracey packed,” When Jade didn’t reply I tested my luck to look over at her. A blush stained her cheeks. She rearranged the towel around her chest and looked anywhere but me. I placed the bag on the bed carefully.
With regret and reluctance thick in my veins, I left the room without another glance.
“I don’t know what you need from me,” Mav said when I finally descended the stairs.
I rubbed the bridge of my nose. “What do you mean?”
“It is my duty to stay here…” He trailed off as he looked at the two steaks on the plate. He had also taken the potatoes out of the oven while I had been upstairs. There wasn’t enough of those for him either. “But, I have a feeling you want things to get pretty intimate.”
I pulled my hand down my jaw and tilted my head. “Yes, I would like to have a date with my mate. That would be ideal before shit hits the fan.”
“Where would you like me to be?” Mav’s cheeks turned pink. “I have to be close per my Guardianship but I don’t want to be too close.”
I couldn’t help but chuckle. With anyone else, this would have been easy but with Mav, it was awkward because he had no idea what this world was like. He had been forced to change years ago and still hadn’t found his mate, which wasn’t uncommon or unusual. “I’m not going to claim her, you don’t have to worry about that!”
His shoulders slumped in relief. “Thank goodness, I would rather not be on duty when that happens.”
I rolled my eyes. “Mav, it’s probably not going to be something that’s planned. I hate to tell you that.” I shrugged.
Mav pressed his lips into a thin line but didn’t have the time to reply. Jade leaned against the doorway and a blush was evident on her cheeks now too. She lifted her hand for an awkward wave. “I promise I wasn’t here through that entire conversation.”
Mav and I looked at each other with surprised faces. How had she managed to get down here without either of us noticing? She still had the oversized towel leaning sideways on her head. Her pajama shorts were flannel and barely visible under the massive shirt she had on. Her feet were bare and her toenails were painted the cutest shade of pink. She crossed her arms over her chest while she waited for one of us to get our senses back.
Mav bowed his head to the both of us. “I’ll be in the basement. I think I need a good workout.” It had soundproof walls, reinforced so our wolf senses couldn’t break through and he would be close enough if either of us needed him. I nodded my head in approval. Jade’s shoulders relaxed a pinch as she walked all the way into the kitchen. Her vanilla scent was even stronger than before and honestly, I didn’t know how I was going to make it through dinner without trying to claim her.
Chapter 31
Jade
My stomach growled as Rafe plated up my food for me then set it on the table in the breakfast nook in the corner. I could barely see through the doorway that there was a butler’s pantry that led to a massive oak table. This place was full of incredible surprises. I relaxed slightly as he slid onto the bench beside me. He popped the top on a Sprite for himself and a water bottle for me. I lifted an eyebrow at his beverage choice for the both of us.
He chuckled. “What did I do wrong?”
I shook my head and the towel teetered slightly. I shoved it back into place. “Nothing, I was just wondering if you chose the water for a particular reason.”
He flashed a blinding smile. “You always have water when we eat at the manor.”
“Observant.” I cut into my steak and it was perfectly cooked in the middle. Bloody.
“There isn’t much that you could do that I don’t want to know about.” He chewed on his steak while he spoke. I hid my grin behind my hand.
I nodded and took my first bite. I didn’t realize he had watched me so much but I guess it wasn’t the weirdest thing that had happened. He had turned me against my will. He had probably watched me for weeks and my panties were still in his drawer upstairs. I had checked before I had exited his room, just to be sure. Granny’s words floated through my mind. Axel waited years before he claimed Vivian, before she allowed him to claim her. I carefully put my fork down and looked at my mate. I was no longer hungry for food but instead for answers.
“Axel didn’t claim Tracey’s mom for years, did you know that?”
Rafe stopped chewing and glanced at me out of the corner of his eye before he turned his entire body toward me. “Yes, I have heard the story about his ironclad will a few times. Especially after I turned you. Everyone loved mentioning it then.”
It was now or never. “Why did you change me that night? Why did you force that on me without my consent and please don’t use your wolf as an excuse. You have hinted around that it was more than just that. I need to know.”
Rafe looked down at his plate and his shoulders slumped before he took a deep breath. “I don’t know how to tell you this.”
“Why don’t you start from the beginning?”
He nodded slightly. The color had drained from his face and he wouldn’t look at me. I would be able to smell the truth in the air. He knew that. “That first time I ran into you in the grocery store you had no idea who I was. But I immediately knew who you were. My wolf approved instantly. He wanted you to know us and I came to want that too. I did everything I could to find out who you were. As I went digging for more information I found your scent everywhere. All over my town. I couldn’t go anywhere without a reminder of you. Tracey enrolled in school soon after that and I made sure she was in every one of your classes. She followed you for me. She found out all the information she could.”
Even though I had known all of this, it still made me feel weird hearing it from him. He shrugged and continued the story even though he wouldn’t look at me.
“I would have done it myself if I thought it was a good idea to go to school with you…” He shook his head and this time when he looked at me, all that was evident on his face was regret. I reached out and brushed a strand of hair behind his ear. He leaned into my touch. “My wolf was too close to the surface. I would have torn through anyone that looked at you the wrong way. It was easier when you went to parties. It was s
omething I could accept and be there to watch out for you. Until that one guy had the most indecent plans for you. I couldn’t control myself. I ripped him apart and I didn’t feel an ounce of regret.” His eyes burned with conviction. “Then you were gone again. When I saw you at the party the next time I had promised Tracey I wouldn’t do anything rash. She was tired of cleaning up my messes. She didn’t want to be involved in murder, even though it was a just act.”
“Except everything was different?” That night was clearer now than it had ever been. He had pressed his nose into my neck.
He looked back down at his plate and his hair fell around his eyes. I hated not seeing them while he spoke. “I smelled the sickness in the air the moment you walked through the doors.”
My body jerked up. “Yes, I think you’ve mentioned that before.”
“I was in denial. That was when I decided that I had to approach you, I had to make sure that you weren’t really sick. That it was a fluke and someone else was sick. I refused to accept it.” His shoulders shook but he still wouldn’t look at me. “I didn’t want this for you or for me. I didn’t want to change you, especially against your will.” When he looked up tears were sliding down his face. I clenched my fists at my side. He had acted indifferent to it all. It made no sense. “My wolf took over and pushed my humanity away. I knew what I was doing was wrong but I would have rathered you live and hate me than die.”
I was stunned into silence by his emotions and his confession. The truth was strong in the air around us. I nodded my head for him to continue. What else could I do? What could I say?
“When I pressed my nose against your skin, I knew I was out of time. If I didn’t change you that night, the cancer would take over every single cell in your body. It would consume you and I wouldn’t be able to save you. I was literally working against the clock to try to find a way to keep you around for your family’s sake.”
