by A Lonergan
All I cared about was being alone. When I made it to the edge of our lands, I stopped and circled back. The need to fight thrummed through my veins. I took a left in the split on the path and went straight for our training grounds. As soon as I walked out onto the sand, everything inside of my body centered. I took a deep breath and launched myself at the first dummy. My claws came out and slashed right through the bag. I didn’t waste any time as I bounced from each dummy and fighting simulation. With perfect ease, I navigated around the new setup the guys had put together for their next training. I didn’t care that it wasn’t set up for me. Violence hummed through my veins.
When every obstacle had been run through and all the dummies had been gutted, my breath came out in sharp pants. Sweat slid down my temples but the need for blood was still strong. I wasn’t going to be content until Damian’s blood was spilled. I was going to be the one to do it too.
Chapter 40
Jade
The plans hadn’t changed. All that changed was our information. Even though Damian was blood, that didn’t change that he had killed countless people, tortured me and Lucas, and who knew what else. Pack Law wouldn’t touch him because he was a witch, even though he was building an army of wolves that had no idea what this lifestyle meant.
Rafe didn’t come back to his house all night and sometime in the morning, there was a knock on his bedroom door. Groggily I found Ford on the other side. His eyes were full of pain and confusion. Someone had told him about Damian. I didn’t need to ask. “Hey, what’s up? Are you okay?”
He shrugged but I could see it on his face that he was struggling. I opened my arms and it took him no time to launch himself right into them. I led him to the couch in the corner where he cuddled up to my side. We stayed like that until Ford’s breathing evened out and he fell asleep. He slept even after the sun had come up and didn’t wake up until Rafe closed the bedroom door behind him. He was still wearing the same clothes he had been wearing before but this time they were splattered with blood. Ford blinked at his brother as he snuggled in closer to me.
“It’s not my blood,” Rafe’s voice was hoarse like he had spent the entire night screaming. He probably had. I had felt like doing that too but I knew Ford was right down the hall. He had insisted on it the night before. Said he wouldn’t feel safe unless his brother was with him. Too bad Rafe had stayed gone all night. Rafe prowled to the bathroom and didn’t look at me again. “I’ll explain later.”
His voice was cold and indifferent. It reminded me of the time I met him at the party. He hadn’t shown me that side of him in a long time. I blinked and helped Ford off of the couch. I ruffled his dark hair before I kissed the top of his head. “Why don’t you go get some breakfast? I think Knox stayed over last night and you know he has a bigger appetite than anyone else!”
Ford looked at the bathroom doors for a moment before he grinned and rushed out of the bedroom. I closed the door behind him and braced myself to face my mate. The water was running but there was no sound on the other side of the door. I wanted to use the excuse that I was worried about him and that was why I barged in but as soon as I saw him undressing, I knew it was more than that. I was glad I had been worried. His face was blank as I closed the double doors behind me. He didn’t even worry about acting surprised.
“Where’s Ford?” His voice didn’t hold a tone of emotion in it either.
“I sent him downstairs for breakfast,” I leaned against the doors as he continued to undress. He shoved his pants down his thick legs and I had a difficult time looking away. “Do you want to talk?”
He was in front of me before I could blink. His hands pinned my arms above my head. I turned my chin down. I still hadn’t brushed my teeth this morning. Morning breath with my wolf senses was the worst. He didn’t seem to mind as he captured my lips with his.
Steam swirled around us as his lips continued their assault on mine. So this was what he needed. I arched into his touch as he ran his hands down my body. I went to bring my arms down and he shoved me into the doors some more. He didn’t want me to move a muscle. I raised my hands back over my head and stayed there while he explored my neck with his mouth. He pulled away and a sound of protest left my lips. “They’re going to interrupt us at any moment.”
“I could be louder so they get the hint.” My words sparked a mischievous glint in his eyes but it went out faster than it had appeared.
“My mother is here.” He pushed away from me and entered the steaming shower with his boxers on. Somehow I managed to keep the pout off of my face but I wasn’t exactly sure how. It wasn’t until I left the bathroom that I heard the wet plop of his sopped underpants hit the tile. I stifled a groan before I tore a hairbrush through my blonde locks. I was braiding my hair when Rafe came out of the bathroom. Unfortunately, he was dressed and there was nothing to look at anymore.
I decided changing the subject would be for the best. “Whose blood was it?”
He didn’t answer me and walked to the door that led to the hall. I stood up and grabbed the back of his shirt. He ran his fingers through his damp hair. “Mav and I went out last night.”
My stomach dropped. “Oh?”
He nodded but I couldn’t see his face. “Yes, and we may or may not have been looking for trouble. Mav just wanted a hook up outside of the Pack Lands and I just wanted a good brawl.”
“You got into a fight?” I didn’t know if I was horrified or not. He had left the Pack Lands. He had gone out there and put himself in danger. For what? My hands shook as I took a step away from him.
He didn’t turn around or say anything else. I was too stunned to move. I didn’t know what I could possibly say. Hell, I didn’t know what to think.
Rafe yanked the door open before I could think of anything else to say. But all I could do was stand there in shock.
Rafe Crimson was my mate but we weren’t on the same page and I realized it as I stood in his doorway and watched him walk away. I didn’t call out to him or try to speak to him as I packed my belongings and walked out the door. I didn’t care that he and all his Guardians watched as I stormed away from the house. I knew his mother was inside but there was no point in trying to find her to say hello. We would speak later when I went back to work. She and the rest of the pack would see me moving back into my cottage. I wondered if Tracey had moved into my bedroom yet. She was sitting on the broken couch when I kicked the door open. Lucas was singing in the bathroom.
I was relieved that someone was feeling happiness on the day I was feeling so gloomy. Tracey jumped up from the couch to grab my bag. “Why are you back?” She sputtered. “Obviously, I love that you’re back but did something happen? You look upset.”
Was I upset? I couldn’t exactly pinpoint how I was feeling. The only thing I knew was that I needed to be alone. Or rather, away from my mate for a little bit.
“Don’t tell me you’re running from your problems,” Lucas said from the doorway. He had a towel wrapped around his waist and his well-defined abs were on display.
A sigh escaped my lips. “I’m not running. This was my house before he decided to whisk me away one night. I like my own space. I like having my own things surrounding me.”
Tracey sat on the edge of my bed. Her face softened as she processed my words. “You could have all of your things surrounding you if you moved in over there.”
Lucas shook his head. “I can’t believe what I’m hearing.” He threw his hands up and I was worried he would lose his towel if he kept moving so abruptly. “Yes, she could move in with him if she wanted to but she isn’t quite sure how she feels about him still. Hellllloooo, has anyone noticed that we are still in the middle of a war?” He ran his hands down his face and it pulled his eyelids down to make a ridiculous expression.
Tracey leaned back onto her elbows. I took that moment to unpack my bag. The only underwear she had packed me was lacy thongs and lingerie. I snorted. “The only reason why you were losing underwear the other day was because yo
u packed it in my bag.”
Her face flamed and she covered her cheeks behind her hands. Lucas made a disgusting sound in the back of his throat. Tracey shook her head. “I bought those for you! That isn’t mine.”
“Lucas is right you know,” I started as I folded my clothes and put them back into my dresser drawers. “We are in the middle of a war and just because I like kissing him doesn’t mean that I love him. I don’t think I know him well enough to judge whether or not I even want a future with him.” The words tasted wrong leaving my mouth.
“But what happened? You seemed perfectly okay with the pack knowing about your mate status yesterday.” Tracey rolled onto her stomach as she spoke and Lucas left the room. I was hoping he was going to put pants on. The last thing I wanted was a surprise show. We had both seen enough of each other when Damian had us imprisoned together.
Lucas was back with a loose-fitting t-shirt and basketball shorts a few minutes later. I had finished putting my clothes away and was sitting beside Tracey when he came back. He leaned against the wall.
“I understand finding out Damian’s true identity was hard for everyone yesterday,” I ran my fingers over my comforter so I didn’t have to look at either of them. “But he didn’t come back last night. When he came back this morning he was covered in blood. He reassured me that it wasn’t his. Then he admitted that he was looking for a fight last night and went out with Mav.”
Lucas jerked forward with a gasp while Tracey shrugged. They were so different, it was weird. Lucas spoke before Tracey got the chance to. “He could have been killed. Damian could have been waiting for him. He put himself and the rest of the pack in danger.”
Tracey interrupted him. “He needed to let off some steam. I understand that the both of you haven’t been wolves for very long, but this is something we do. We need to fight sometimes.”
Lucas shook his head. “I don’t think so. This could have gone bad very quickly.”
“Except we all left the Pack Lands not that long ago to go on vacation!” Tracey threw her hands up.
I patted the space between us on the bed. “I get that I’m new to this world but my problem is that… I think I don’t know him like I hoped I did. Tracey, you aren’t surprised at all. But I was. I feel like this is something I should have known or expected if I was in love with him.”
Tracey pinched her lips together. “Once again, being a wolf is different. Wolves don’t just fall in love. We pick someone because of their strength, how well they will raise pups, and their rank in the pack. Sometimes love has nothing to do with it.”
“So he’s perfect for me because he’s Alpha, hot, and would be a good dad?”
Tracey shook her head. “You have to figure that one out for yourself.”
I threw myself onto the bed and shook my head against my pillow. “I’m not going to do any of this quickly or irrationally.”
“You both have come a long way since he turned you,” Tracey muttered.
I chose to ignore it.
Chapter 41
Rafe
My chest felt empty. I knew Jade was valid in her feelings but I had done nothing but watch her walk away. My wolf surged back to the surface and I had to fight to keep him away. This was exactly what I didn’t want to happen. My damn anger and pride had gotten in the way, again. Now all that was left was to sit here and stew over what I had done. I could barely hear the guys talking in the next room over. The sound of the tv drowned out what they were actually saying. They hardly ever watched tv so I knew they were trying to talk without anyone eavesdropping on their conversation. I pushed the door open and crossed my arms over my chest.
Knox’s cheeks turned pink. “What’s up, Alpha?”
It didn’t get past me that Mav wasn’t in this little meeting. I crossed my arms over my chest. Duncan was the only one that didn’t look comfortable with what was going on. Archer kicked his boots up on the table and grinned like nothing was wrong.
“What are we discussing?” I sat down across from Gabriel. He shifted nervously.
Knox licked his front teeth. “You,”
“Oh?” I had figured as much.
Gabriel sighed and then shifted again. “Yes, how you put yourself in danger last night and Mav let you.”
Archer snorted. “All for some tail. Does he think we are all okay with being celibate? I would love to be out there surfing the pussycat lane but here I am.”
Knox leaned forward and scratched the back of his head. “Look, you could have gotten killed last night. That’s the last thing that any of us want to happen. You could have led them all back here.”
I cracked my neck. “They wouldn’t have been able to make it through the wards.”
“What if they tried? What if they knew a loophole and could use it with you in their possession?” Duncan said as he crouched in the corner.
I squared my shoulders and prepared to argue but all the fight left me. I had done enough fighting the night before. The last people I wanted to fight with were the men in this room. “I screwed up.”
“We should probably talk to Mav about this too.”
I laughed. “Probably not, I think he learned his lesson. The girl he slept with wasn’t all that pretty without her glamour. The moment she touched Mav it washed away. Wasted the entire night on this one girl who is actually a troll.”
Archer’s brows shot up. “Wait seriously?”
I nodded. “Yeah, he stopped my fighting to drag me back home. He was beyond done with the night at that point.”
Knox leaned forward. “What happened with Jade?”
I didn’t know if I wanted to talk about that but I knew they wouldn’t leave me alone until I did. “She’s upset about the brawling last night, like all of you. But you’re all much more forgiving than she is.”
Knox shrugged. “She isn’t invested yet. It hasn’t been long enough for her to connect with you like that. But she also knows that if you needed to fight that bad, you could have waited for us. We were all feeling the call of war after that mess.”
My shoulders slumped. “What do I do?”
Duncan stood up. “You could start with apologizing.”
Archer shook his head. “That won’t be good enough.”
I rolled my head on my shoulders. “Then what do I do?”
Mav took that moment to walk in and lean against the doorway.
“You continue to show her who you are and you don’t let this get in the way of your progress. You act as if she was ready to move in with you to begin with.”
“She told you all of that?” Archer’s brows pulled together.
Mav shook his head. “No, she didn’t have to. I know her.”
Chapter 42
Jade
There was a knock on the front door just as I was pulling dinner out of the oven. I shucked off the oven mitts and smoothed my hair down before I went to answer the door. Tracey had gone for a run and Lucas went to the manor to hang out with Carden. Alice was cooking for all the children and mentioned she could use the help. Both of the guys had volunteered immediately. I was surprised by how much Lucas loved being around kids.
Rafe was waiting on the front porch. His hair was a wild mess around his head and his hands were shoved into his pockets. He wore a long sleeve shirt with four buttons at the top of his chest and dark blue jeans. His cheeks stained pink as I crossed my arms over my chest. I wasn’t mad at him, but I deserved more of an explanation than my wolf needed blood.
“I wasn’t thinking,” he started. “I’m used to this bachelor lifestyle. I have never had to tell anyone anything about my business. Not even as Alpha. But we are in the middle of a war and you deserve better than that.”
I nodded and moved out of the way to let him inside. We weren’t enemies. We weren’t lovers. We were mates and we were going to have to find a happy medium in all of this. Once again, I would have to meet him halfway.
“Whose blood was it really?” I peeked under the tinfoil over my casserole.
The cheese was the right shade of brown and bubbling. Tracey had admitted she had never tasted a casserole that was any good before. This was one of the many meals I had tried to make for myself while my parents were gone and I was a starving college student. Online recipes had saved me in those days. I had learned how to tweak them to perfection. Cooking for others wasn’t something I was used to but it made me excited. I could have never prepared this for my parents.
Rafe lounged back on the couch and threw his arms along the top of it. “A dude that smelled like trouble. Fear and desperation clung to his skin and it wasn’t his own. People like that don’t deserve a place in this world.”
“Where is he now?” I couldn’t help but ask. I knew he was a morally gray person. I didn’t mind it. Being a part of a supernatural race made things different.
“Hopefully dead,” Rafe didn’t miss a beat, and this time I wasn’t exactly surprised. He didn’t elaborate and I didn’t ask anymore. We could recover from this. We had recovered from much worse but I still needed my space. “Dinner smells good.”
I smirked. “Are you hungry?”
He grinned and my stomach dropped. “Not for food.”
Tracey took that moment to burst through the front door. “I am starving!”
Rafe pinched his lips together to keep himself from grinning further. I threw the oven mitt at his head. Tracey ignored us both, grabbed a fork from the drawer, and immediately dug into the casserole dish on the counter. She didn’t bother with a plate instead, she scooped massive amounts of the cheesy chicken right into her mouth. My mouth fell open as she continued to scarf my food down. Before I could say or do anything- thanks to being so stunned- half the casserole was gone. She tilted her head back and leaned against the counter all while she rubbed her belly. Her eyes swooped between Rafe and me.
