Only with You

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Only with You Page 15

by Lea Coll


  “We’re eating in the dining room tonight. You can put everything on the table.”

  I scanned the room for Hadley. One hip resting against the counter, she listened to a story about when we were kids. A small smile played on her lips and her eyes twinkled. “Tell me more.”

  I smiled, relieved Mom wasn’t asking her a lot of questions and making her uncomfortable. “I don’t think we need to go into childhood stories.”

  Hadley laughed, her eyes bright with happiness. “Why not? I’m enjoying this.”

  All Hadley knew was the man I was now—not the one before Caroline. When I was still a good brother, a good son. I could barely remember who I was before, but my Mom did. She could give Hadley what I couldn’t—a glimpse of better times. “Nothing too embarrassing, Mom.”

  I passed through the kitchen and into the dining room with the steak.

  “Oh, we’re just getting to the time you ran naked out the front door,” Mom called after me.

  “Yeah. We’re just getting to the good part,” Hadley said.

  “I was three! Everyone runs around naked when they’re three.” My voice trailed off as Nolan walked in.

  “I don’t think we need another woman around. It will be two against three.” His tone was light and teasing while he placed the platter of potatoes on the table.

  “I think the odds are still bad even if we outnumber the women.”

  “I think so too.” He sighed and we listened to Mom share the time we made a make-shift ramp to jump over the garbage can on our bikes and I broke my arm. We were wild and reckless. We weren’t worried about getting hurt or what the future would bring.

  “I told you it would be easier if you brought her.” Nolan lowered his voice, so no one in the kitchen would hear.

  “She’s definitely distracting them from asking why it took so long for me to come to family dinner.” Her presence helped. I’d barely thought about Caroline since I’d walked in the door. I was so focused on Hadley being comfortable, I hadn’t had a second to remember. Hadley had filled up all the dark and empty spaces.

  “You can’t use Hadley as a buffer. You should smooth things over a bit with Mom and Dad. Explain what was going on with you the last few years.”

  “I will.” My jaw tightened. I needed to do it, but I worried about my parents’ reaction.

  Nolan studied my face and must have been satisfied with what he saw. “Good.”

  “I accepted the meals she cooked, and I listened to her.” Even though what she said hadn’t registered. I wasn’t ready then.

  “I think Mom was hurt that you wouldn’t let her be there for you more.”

  “I’m here now and things are going to change for the better. I promise.” After I fixed my mess, I’d pay more attention to my parents, Nolan and what was going on in his life, and, maybe, call the friends who’d drifted away over the years.

  Mom came in with a pitcher of water, followed by Hadley carrying several glasses. “Here, pass out glasses and pour everyone some water. Beer’s in the fridge and I can open a bottle of wine if you’d like, Hadley.”

  “I’d love that.” Hadley set the glasses at each setting. Her face was devoid of any tension.

  That sense of rightness that sparked when we’d walked in the door settled in deep in my body.

  Mom touched Hadley’s shoulder lightly as she passed her to go back into the kitchen. After dinner, I’d need to discuss everything else with them.

  When all the food and drink had been set on the table, we sat—my parents at either end of the table, Hadley next to me, and Nolan across from me.

  “Nolan, will you say grace, please?” We held each other’s hands as Nolan bowed his head.

  Nolan closed his eyes and sighed heavily as if the weight of his words were too much. “Thank you, God, for bringing our family together at one table—for sharing this delicious-looking meal.” He paused and I looked up to see if he’d finished. He squeezed his eyes tighter and added, “For bringing Hadley into Cade’s life and showing him that life is worth living. Amen.”

  Hadley’s breath caught as her hand twitched in mine.

  I was touched both by Nolan’s words and Hadley’s sweet reaction to them. Is that what Hadley had done? She’d shown me all the ways I wasn’t living life fully.

  “Amen,” everyone repeated.

  “That was beautiful, Nolan.” Mom placed her napkin in her lap.

  I squeezed Hadley’s hand. When she looked at me, I said, “Thank you.”

  Her eyes shined with unshed tears and she whispered, “You’re welcome.”

  Maintaining eye contact, I brought her hand to my mouth before kissing the back. My feelings for her threatened to boil over, but I restrained myself and let go of her.

  I looked around the table to find everyone’s eyes on us. Mom’s eyes were wet and Dad looked away before I could see. I’d avoided their home because of the memories of Caroline, but now that I was here, I was replacing those memories with ones of Hadley. I could see it wasn’t wrong. It was a natural progression.

  Nolan smiled pleased. “So, tell me, how things are going at work? You thinking about retiring soon, Dad?”

  Dad picked up his fork. “You know. I am. Someone approached me last year about selling and I think it’s time. There’s some travel your mom and I wanted to do.”

  Nolan gestured at me. “Cade is cleaning up his businesses too. He hired Hadley’s firm to collect on unpaid contracts and created membership contracts for his studio.”

  I exchanged a look with Nolan. We’d discussed going into business together. Maybe this would be a good time to tell our parents. “Nolan and I talked about finally going into business together. We could take on more handicapped accessible renovations.”

  Hadley paused. She returned the glass she’d been holding to the table as her eyes moved from me to Nolan.

  “We’ve talked about it for a long time. I’m in a good place and I’m ready to expand.”

  “I like the sound of Morrison Brothers Construction.” Nolan smiled.

  Pride crossed Mom and Dad’s face. They wanted us to work together for years.

  Mom covered my hand with her own and smiled. “I think that’s a great idea.”

  “What do you do, Hadley?” Dad asked her.

  “I’m an attorney. I used to work at the U.S. Attorney’s office in New Orleans, but a friend of mine mentioned her law school colleagues were starting a firm here. It seemed like a good opportunity,” Hadley said.

  She couldn’t have said anything better to my dad. He respected small businesses—having owned a garden center for years.

  “Nothing like being your own boss. It gives you a sense of pride and makes you work harder.”

  Hadley’s eyes widened at his comment.

  Was she surprised my dad supported her when hers didn’t? Maybe my family could fill in the absence left by her mother.

  “Do you have any family here, Hadley? Or are they all still in New Orleans?” Mom cut a piece of steak, placed it in her mouth, and chewed.

  “My dad and brother still live there.” Hadley sipped her water.

  “Oh, what do they do?” Mom asked.

  “Well, my dad owns several hotels. He’s been expanding the past few years and my brother, Colin, is a college student.”

  My hand found hers under the table and I laced my fingers with hers to show her my support.

  Dad smiled at Hadley. “I’d be happy to pass along your firm if anyone needs legal services if you want to leave a card.”

  “That would be amazing. Thank you,” Hadley said softly.

  I wanted to be alone with Hadley to thank her for coming tonight, but I still had a difficult conversation with my parents ahead.

  Dad and I cleared the dishes while Mom washed them. Hadley helped place leftovers in containers for Nolan and me. When the table was cleared, I sat with my brother and Dad in the living room watching the news until Hadley and then, Mom drifted back in the room.

  No
lan stood and kissed Mom on the cheek. “Thanks for dinner. I’m going to get going. I have an early day tomorrow.”

  I sensed Nolan was leaving to give me time alone with them.

  “It’s good to have my boys under one roof again.” Mom hugged him.

  Once we’d all said our goodbyes to Nolan, Mom settled in the living room.

  I took a deep breath. It was time. I’d waited long enough to make things right. “Mom, Dad. I have some things I need to say.”

  Hadley shifted closer on the couch as she took my hand in hers.

  Dad lowered the volume of the TV before he leaned his elbows on his knees. “Go ahead.”

  “I want to apologize for being distant the last few years.”

  “You don’t have to—” Mom said.

  I held up my hands. “I do. These last few years, I pushed you away. I could have been more present. I could have dealt with things in a better way.”

  Dad winced. “Son, everyone handles their grief their own way.”

  “I know, but I’m ashamed of how I acted over the years. You didn’t deserve that.” I looked at Mom because she was the one who’d tried the hardest. I’d seen the hurt in her eyes, but I couldn’t deal with it at the time. I couldn’t get past my own pain to acknowledge I was hurting everyone around me.

  “An apology isn’t necessary. I’m just so happy you’re here now. And if Hadley’s the reason for that—I’m grateful to her as well.” Dad glanced at Hadley.

  Hadley chewed her lip thoughtfully. “I don’t know about that. I think he was ready, and I came into his life at the right time.”

  “We’re both grateful to you, Hadley, and we’re happy to have you back, son.” Dad turned the TV back up, effectively ending the conversation.

  I wasn’t expecting the conversation to be so easy. Maybe I’d built things up in my head too much.

  We made small talk for a while until I stood. “We’re going to head home.”

  “Of course. Let me get your leftovers.” Mom went to the kitchen while we gathered our jackets. Hadley handed Dad her card.

  Mom handed me the container of food before taking Hadley’s hands in hers. “It was so nice to meet you, Hadley. I can’t thank you enough.”

  “You’re welcome, Maureen. It was nice to meet you as well.”

  When I hugged Mom, she whispered in my ear, “She’s lovely.”

  Mom’s approval spread through my body, giving justification for my decision to see where this thing with Hadley could go. She was special.

  Dad slapped my shoulder and said, “It’s good to have you back. We hope to see more of you, Hadley.”

  Hadley smiled. I knew she loved hearing that.

  Opening the truck’s passenger side door, I helped her inside.

  When we were on the road back to my house, I said, “That was not what I expected.”

  When she was quiet, I glanced over at her. She seemed to be thinking about her words. “You were grieving, and I think they’re just happy you’re here now and on the path to recovery.”

  I was the only one not so willing to forget my actions for the past few years. “I guess.”

  “I just can’t get over how my family would be different if my mother had lived. Would my family be more like yours?”

  I sighed. The pain in her voice was a living breathing thing in the air between us. “What I’ve tried to remind myself over the years is that when someone dies, it was meant to be. That future I thought I’d have with Caroline was never in the plans for me. It wasn’t meant to be. I fought that idea for years and it gave me nothing but pain.”

  “You’re right. Most of the time, I’m fine with the way things are, but sometimes when I see a loving mother like yours, it comes back.”

  “I think that’s natural.”

  “Maybe, that’s what I was trying to do by moving here and starting over. It wasn’t just to find out who I was. It was an acceptance that I wasn’t happy living the life my dad wanted.”

  Her father wasn’t living the life he’d planned for either. “Maybe he’s wallowing in his grief too. He can’t see past it to see that you’re hurting. Or that Colin is hurting. He’s holding on so tightly to the control over his business and his kids. He doesn’t see that it’s pushing you away.”

  I felt Hadley’s eyes on the side of my face, so I looked over at her. “What?”

  Her eyes were filled with respect and admiration for me. “You’re amazing, do you know that?”

  “Only with you.” Our eyes connected and a current of awareness shot from her to me sending a shiver from my scalp to my neck and down my spine. I turned my attention from Hadley to the road, tightening my grip on the steering wheel.

  Those words. They’d flowed out of my mouth without thought. They were the same words Hadley said in my bed. Maybe this woman was meant to be my future.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  HADLEY

  When he said those three words, a charge passed between us, sending tingles through my body. Was he the only one for me? I settled back into the seat, turning my head so I could study him. His fingers tightened around the steering wheel—his eyes focused on the road, but what was he thinking?

  The words were heavy with expectation, but when I’d said them to him—they’d felt true. When he told me—they felt right. Was Caroline his past and I was his future? Was it fate? Was it possible for Cade to love two women in his life? Did he have enough space in his heart for me?

  Would he make space for me in his life? Could he hold onto his memories of Caroline and make new ones with me? The idea filled me with such hope I felt jittery. I shifted in my seat and played with the strap of my purse.

  I was bursting with love for this man. Was it too much to hope he’d love me back?

  We were building something, however tentative. I wanted to see it through. If he were the one for me, then I’d be patient. I’d give him time to grow with me. I’d allow for setbacks when it became too much and perhaps, one day, he’d feel the same way I did.

  “About last—”

  My phone buzzed in my purse. “Sorry, let me turn it off.” I sifted through my bag until I found my phone. It was my dad calling.

  “Do you need to get it?”

  I chewed my lip. Wasn’t this a good opportunity to set some boundaries with my dad? I was with Cade and I should be focused on him—not whatever thing my dad thought was important. “No.”

  I let it go to voicemail. When I looked at my missed call list, I had three missed calls from Dad and a couple of unread texts from Layton. The phone immediately started ringing again.

  “You’d better get that.”

  “Sorry.” I swiped answer on the phone and lifted it to my ear. “Dad. Is everything okay?”

  “You haven’t answered your phone all night.” Anger filtered through the line.

  “I was busy.” My shoulders tensed.

  “When I call, you need to answer.”

  I bit my lip to stop the retort on my tongue. He didn’t pay for my phone anymore, so threats like that fell flat.

  “What’s so important that you needed to speak to me?” My jaw ached from clenching my teeth.

  Cade’s eyes filled with concern.

  He probably was worried a family member was in the hospital, but my dad’s emergencies weren’t normal. By most people’s definitions they weren’t emergencies at all.

  “The Kids Speak gala is next weekend. If you promise to come work for me, I’ll announce its expansion. If not, you’ll need to figure out what to tell people.” Dad’s voice raised with each word. I held the phone closer to my ear to block Cade from hearing.

  “Dad, we can discuss this later. Now isn’t—" I’d never refused him before with good results. My heart thudded painfully in my chest—the blood roared in my ears.

  “You work on my schedule, not the other way around.” It was the same annoyed tone he always used with me.

  “Things are different now.”

  There was a light t
apping in the background—like he was drumming his fingers on the desk. “Stop this foolish act.”

  He’d banked on me wanting the money for the Kids Speak more than anything else.

  “Why would I want to work for you? You said yourself the business is a sinking ship.”

  His voice hardened. “If you come back and smooth things over with Layton, Aiden invests in the company and you get the money for Kids Speak. We’ll announce everything at the gala.”

  “This again? I’m not getting back together with Layton or coming to work for you so that you can make a business deal with Aiden Black.”

  “You do what’s best for this family, not what you want.” Frustration filtered through the speaker.

  “Not anymore. I need to do what’s best for me.” The sick feeling in my stomach, the pounding in my chest, and my tight grip on my cell told me being near my dad was not a good idea.

  “You want Kids Speak to shut down? You know, you would never have gotten this far without my backing.”

  “You know I don’t want to end the program.” My voice was smaller—my resolve cracking. I’d just left the Morrison’s loving home and the contrast between my family and others had never been more evident.

  I looked at Cade—wanting to draw strength from him. He pulled into his driveway, turned off the ignition, before he faced me, concern etched on his face.

  “Listen, Dad. I’ve got to go. I’m with someone.”

  “It’s time you fulfilled your responsibilities to this family. If not, you won’t like the consequences.” Dread filled me as I pulled the phone away from my ear to see he’d hung up on me without another word.

  He hadn’t asked me once how I was. If I was happy, safe, or content, it wasn’t something he’d ever done, but these last few days hanging out with Cade, the Morrison family, and Avery—the difference was noticeable. I’d always mourned the loss of my mother when maybe I should have been mourning the loss of my father. After mom died, he held on so tightly to his control—almost as if he was afraid one tug would unravel him completely.

  “Are you alright?” Cade’s eyes filled with sympathy and something else—was it love or the beginnings of love? I hoped so because I would need every ounce of his love to resist my father.

 

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