by A. M. Arthur
“I...thank you.” George was crazy thirsty now, and Levi surprised the hell out of him by cracking the top before handing it over. George gulped the cold water, thankful for the man’s unexpected kindness. “I mean it, thank you.”
“Happy to.” He tucked both hands in the pockets of his low-slung jeans. In a long-sleeve blue cotton T-shirt and sneakers, Levi seemed different from the cowboy George remembered. More peaceful. And the man was good looking in a way that made George feel very plain.
“It’s a nice day.” Stupid small talk was stupid but George still wasn’t good at handling conversations with near-strangers.
Levi’s smile broadened. “It is. We’ve had a string of really nice weather up here this week. Glad it held up because I think Wes invited the whole county to this shindig. Some folks might have to eat outside.”
“Probably me.”
“Not used to big crowds of people, huh?”
“No.” Words were coming more easily now, and it had everything to do with his conversation partner. Something about Levi simply...put him at ease. “No, I haven’t been around a group like this in years. But Orry really wanted to come today, and I knew he wouldn’t if I stayed at home.”
“That’s a brave thing to do, George. Step outside your comfort zones for your brother.”
“He’s taken care of me for a long time. It’s my turn to do something for him.” Determination straightened George’s spine. “I can do this.”
“Sure you can. Take it in baby steps. Instead of looking at all the faces, focus on the ones nearest you. The ones you’re talkin’ to. Then look at some new ones if you want but don’t push yourself.”
George studied Levi’s serene expression. “Are you, like, a life coach or something in your spare time?”
Levi laughed and it rippled over George’s skin in a pleasant, unexpected way. “No, but I spent a lot of time studying philosophy and various religions when I got out of rehab. I learned a lot of coping mechanisms.”
The blunt way Levi admitted to having been in rehab startled George into momentary silence. Who said that to a total stranger? Levi, obviously, and he didn’t seem embarrassed at all. His expression hadn’t changed. And as curious as he was about why Levi was in rehab—drugs or alcohol addiction, duh—he didn’t want to ruin this pleasant conversation by being nosy. He liked talking to Levi and wanted to keep doing it for as long as possible.
“Well, you give really good advice,” George said.
“Thank you. I appreciate and accept your compliment. Whenever you’re ready to go back inside, let me know.”
“Might as well give it a whirl. I need to at least meet and thank the hosts for having me. I just don’t know who they are.”
“That’s okay, I can introduce you, if you like.”
“Really?” George wasn’t sure why that surprised him as much as it did. “Don’t you have someone to get back to?” He didn’t see a ring on his left hand but surely someone as kind and handsome as Levi had a girlfriend inside.
“No, no one inside.” Levi’s lips twitched. “But I do have three beautiful ladies waiting for me at home.”
George’s mouth fell open. The guy had three girlfriends? “You have what?”
“Cats. Ginger, Baby and Sporty.”
“Oh.” Okay, that made a lot more sense. “I like cats.”
“Me too. And they’re completely housebroken. My home has a little cat door so they can do their business outside and enjoy wandering.”
“Wow.” George knew cats could be trained to use the toilet, but to housebreak them like a dog? “How did you do that?”
Levi’s smile flickered. “I didn’t. An ex did.”
Pursuing that felt wrong, so he didn’t. “Our building has a cat who uses the toilet. Lucky. He’s old and he came with the place when our landlord bought it. He wanders in and out of everyone’s apartments. We all keep the lids up so he doesn’t poop in our shoes.”
Levi laughed again, and yes, it rippled over George a second time. “Sounds like a cat I’d like to meet.”
“Lucky’s great. Although he’s gotten really attached to Slater since he moved in with Derrick. Probably because Slater likes to sit out in the main foyer when he’s home and working on a project.”
“Robin described the setup once. Sounds really cozy.”
“It is.” George sipped his water. “It’s funny, because until Slater moved in, Orry and I avoided talking to any of our neighbors. We just wanted to get through our days quietly and unnoticed. Now we all have pizza lunches and board game marathons together.”
“Slater’s accident led to some very positive results.”
“Yeah.” Time for more positive results. “Okay, let’s go inside.”
* * *
Levi couldn’t explain the impulse that had led to him taking water outside to George. Maybe it was Orry’s unhappy expression when he came back from checking on his brother. Maybe it was his own innate curiosity about the former figure skater. Or his haunted eyes. Whatever the reason, Levi had done it and was glad.
He’d enjoyed their conversation, and he got the distinct impression that George didn’t open up to people easily. George was guarded but his walls seemed to crumble with Levi. And he got extra respect points from Levi for not pressing on the rehab comment. Most people would have wanted to know details, like rubberneckers at a traffic accident, but George hadn’t asked.
George’s bravery in coming today when he was clearly uncomfortable spoke to something deep inside Levi. It made him want to befriend the guy in a way he hadn’t felt since Robin Butler ambled into the office trailer of Lucky’s Rodeo, looking for a job.
“Okay, let’s go inside,” George said. Slumped against the car before, he now stood with his back straight and his haunted eyes determined.
Levi allowed George to go first, following slightly to his left. They were close in height, Levi a bit taller, but George was on the skinny side of slender, so Levi instinctively moved to watch his back. No real reason for it because they were entering a house full of friends. Still, Levi listened to his instincts.
Except for the new, unexpected urge to take George’s hand. That was a quick way to end this newfound quasi friendship they were forming. The younger man gave off zero vibes on his gaydar, so he’d protect from a distance. Maybe even be the guy’s friend.
George’s hand trembled once as he reached for the screen door but he clasped the handle and pulled. Stepped back inside the full house teaming with both people and pleasant food smells. Orry stood close to the door with Robin and Shawn, and George went directly to his twin’s side. He seemed to be following Levi’s advice, keeping his attention on the three people in front of him, rather than the house at large, as Robin made introductions. George impressed Levi by shaking their hands.
Orry met Levi’s gaze and offered a friendly smile. A nod. Levi nodded back.
Shawn chatted a bit about working at the saloon before asking, “What do you do, George?”
Levi was curious about that, as well, with as bad as his anxiety seemed, but he hadn’t wanted to pry too much. He preferred when people offered up personal information.
“I do closed-captioning for online videos,” George replied. “It’s really flexible hours and lets me work from home.”
“That sounds pretty cool. Any particular type of videos?”
George’s shoulders stiffened slightly. “All kinds. I like the work.”
“At least you have a single, steady paying job,” Orry said in a joking tone. “I work, like, four at once.”
“Hey, our generation didn’t create this economy,” Shawn replied. “We’re just trying to survive in it. Trust me, I know. I was homeless for two years while still working full time.”
Levi blinked, surprised by the blunt admission. But Shawn possessed a strong inner spirit and had a survivor’s
aura to him. He could believe Shawn would make it through such an ordeal and still be able to smile at the world.
“Dude, it sucks you were homeless,” Orry said.
“It did suck, but it’s what eventually brought me here.” Shawn leaned his shoulder into Robin’s and smiled at his boyfriend.
A pang of loneliness struck Levi in the chest. He was beyond happy for Robin’s good fortune and newfound love; Robin more than deserved it after losing Xander the way he had. But Levi had needs too. Needs not being met stuck out here in the middle of nowhere, instead of on the road traveling to the next exciting location. Needs frequently met by rodeo fans or casual gawkers. His only serious adult relationship had ended in disaster.
Their group chatted amiably for a while, until Levi said, “George, you wanted to meet today’s hosts, right? Should I introduce you?”
George flashed him a wide-eyed stare an instant before the expression gentled. Went more carefully neutral. “Sure, okay. Let’s do that.”
“One face at a time.”
Levi led the way, keenly aware of George sticking close to his back as Levi threaded their way through the packed living room to the kitchen. He introduced George to Mack, Wes and Wes’s mother. Levi introduced George to Miles Arlington, who was also helping in the kitchen, but George remembered Miles from his visit to the ghost town. Slater had apparently gotten his friends kitchen access.
So far so good.
George’s fingertips were starting to twitch. Not a good sign. Levi steered him back toward Orry, who was chatting with Slater and some other ranch hands. Orry was definitely the more sociable of the pair, and he was heavily engaged in the conversation. George stood there mutely, and Levi stuck close, unsure why he felt the need to when his twin was right there.
Eventually, Wes stood on one of the two long benches on either side of the dining table to thank everyone for coming, thank the other cooks, and announce that it was time to eat. A line began to form for food but George stayed put. Levi stayed too, and Orry did the same. Folks with full plates began to settle at both the dining table, and at spots all around the living space. A card table with folding chairs. The sofa with TV tray tables. Others migrated outside.
Once the majority of people had their food, Orry headed for the line and George followed. George always seemed to follow and that sort of bothered Levi. The guy had strength for sure, and he needed to find that strength again. Learn how to lead himself forward.
Levi got in line behind George and filled a plate with all kinds of delicious-looking food. While he tried to limit his meat intake, he indulged in both ham and turkey, along with gravy and different sides. George’s plate was more simplistic with white meat turkey sans gravy, mashed potatoes, some fresh veggies from a snack tray sans dip, and—to Levi’s quiet delight—a piece of cornpone. Levi refrained from taking one of the few remaining pieces, because he’d had it before and wanted others to enjoy the amazing taste.
Orry accepted one of two remaining seats at a card table, then looked expectantly at George. George headed for the door. Curious, Levi followed him. With the patio furniture full, George went down the steps and found a patch of grass he liked before plunking down. Levi did the same, not surprised George preferred the open air to the stifling house. All the faces and cacophonous voices.
They ate in silence for a few minutes, and Levi enjoyed the simplicity of it. Existing without expectation. With a cute boy he kind of liked but didn’t want to scare away, because the cute boy was likely straight.
“So why did you name one of your cats Sporty?” George asked, apropos of nothing.
Levi tilted his head. “She’s one of the Spice Girls. All three cats are named after former members.”
“Oh. I mean, I know who the Spice Girls are, kind of, but I didn’t know their names.”
“Not a fan of nineties girl group pop?”
“Not really, I’m not sure. Growing up, we listened to mostly classical music, and that’s all I ever skated to, and now I just listen to whatever streams on my app.” George’s eyes went wide as he realized what he’d let slip.
He probably didn’t talk about his former career anymore, and Levi didn’t want to make a big deal out of it. “In the interest of full disclosure, I know you used to figure skate competitively.”
George’s pale skin stained bright red. “Oh. How?”
This time it was Levi’s turn to be slightly embarrassed. “After we met back in July, I got incredibly curious about you. You seemed familiar somehow, and I searched your name online.”
“You cyberstalked me?” This time, George looked ready to bolt.
Fix this, you fool.
“No,” Levi said firmly. “Once I realized you were Georgie Thompson, I stopped looking. Believe it or not, I genuinely admire figure skaters for their artistry and flexibility. I recognized your name, and I remember the...” Drama wasn’t the right word. “I remember how your departure from the sport was depicted in the news.”
George snorted. “Departure is one word for it, I guess. I quit right before a skate that could have helped get me on the Olympic team. Shit, I never talk about this stuff.” He gazed at Levi with a kind of wonder on his face. “Why is it so easy to talk to you?”
“Because I’m a neutral party, a relative stranger, and I like listening to you talk.” That had come out a tad flirtier than Levi intended, but George didn’t seem to notice. “I’m sure you had your reasons for quittin’.”
“I did. My sanity and my health.” He didn’t elaborate on those things, and the topic was far too serious for a holiday, so Levi didn’t push.
“Then let me ask you a tough question.” George tensed, so Levi didn’t draw it out; he liked the kid too much to make him uncomfortable. “What’s your favorite scary movie?”
George burst out laughing. A lovely sound he should make more often. “I like your brand of tough questions. I’m not sure if I have one. I don’t watch a lot of scary movies, but I did get the cultural reference for once.”
“Okay, then favorite movie genre.”
“Romantic comedies, I guess. I like knowing it’ll have a happy ending. I’m not much for watching the violent stuff.”
“Understandable. I watch pretty much anything, depending on my mood. Okay, I know you live in San Francisco, but are you from the Bay Area?”
George poked at his slice of turkey. “I guess I am. We were born in Fremont and grew up there, but when I showed a real talent for ice skating at five years old, my parents moved us to Los Angeles because my mom decided I’d find the best coaches there.” His gaze flickered with something unpleasant Levi wanted to ask about but didn’t. “After I quit, Orry and I moved back here to live with our grandparents, until we were older and could live on our own.”
“Do you still see your grandparents?”
“Orry does. They live together in an assisted living center. I try to visit but mostly I call them on their tablet. At least that way we can at least chat face-to-face. Sort of. It’s just...hard seeing people who were so strong for me weak now. Grandpa had a stroke two years ago, and he has a hard time taking care of himself, and sometimes I feel so fucking selfish for not doing more.”
George’s sad expression hardened slightly, as if his grief was joined by annoyance or anger. Anger at exactly what, Levi could only guess. Himself and his crippling anxiety? His social isolation? But anger was a better emotion sometimes than grief. Anger was more likely to motivate someone to change their situation, while grief often left them resigned to it.
“What more do you see yourself doing in the future?” Levi asked.
“I don’t know. Take a walk around the block without wanting to throw up.” He waved his hand at the cabin. “Come to a Thanksgiving dinner without running out of the room. Honestly, today was a huge step for me. Maybe too huge. But it’s hard not to try and take these huge steps when I’ve be
en sitting still for so long.” George’s eyes flickered briefly lower on Levi’s face before rising again. “A lot of different steps.”
Had he looked at Levi’s mouth? “George, how old are you?”
“Twenty-three. Why?” A new sort of stubbornness crept into George’s expression. “How old are you?”
“Thirty-four.”
His eyes briefly widened. “You don’t look that old.”
Levi snickered. “Thank you, I think.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to imply thirty-four is old, you just look younger.” He blushed again, which was kind of adorable. “Shit, I’m fucking this up, aren’t I?”
“You aren’t fucking up anything. We’re new friends getting to know each other.” Levi took a chance and gently squeezed his wrist, a brief contact that he shouldn’t have indulged in, because his skin buzzed with awareness.
Even George seemed surprised, staring at his wrist for a long moment before meeting Levi’s gaze again. A new sort of wonder spread across his face, as if he’d discovered something new and amazing through one simple touch. He glanced at Levi’s mouth again. George was so sweet, so innocent, so...kissable.
And probably a damned virgin. Don’t be that guy.
“Are you almost done eating?” Levi asked, desperate to redirect their conversation into something less problematic. He was no saint and not above fucking a near-stranger, but George was special. And not for Levi.
“Um, I guess.” George had a few scraps of his food left but no longer seemed interested in it. And his guard was back up, damn it.
“Do you want pie? They always have a ton of dessert options.”
“No, thanks. Um, do you mind taking my plate? I’m going to take a walk.” George sort of shoved his paper plate and fork at Levi, then scrambled to his feet and began walking toward the tree line behind the house.
Damn it, I fucked up.
Part of Levi wanted to chase after him, but George wasn’t his to chase. They were newish friends who barely knew each other. Levi wanted to get to know him better, but if their single touch was any indication, that could be a bad idea. Or it could be an amazing one.
